The massive handgun went off with a boom of thunder from behind me, almost causing me to jump out of my skin despite knowing it was coming. I definitely needed to shake off the rust and get my head back in this psychotic game of death.
Sadly, one didn’t need to be a vampire to hear the blast. However, Char, being one, likely heard it extra loud.
She slowed down, actually covering her ears with her hands before inclining her head in my direction.
Too bad it was a moment late and a dollar short.
She tried to sidestep me, and almost succeeded – nimble little psychopath. Even Gan might’ve been impressed. Pity that almost wasn’t enough.
It was a glancing blow at best, catching her with the edge of my shoulder, but I was larger and had momentum on my side, so it was more than enough to send her tumbling across the asphalt, knocking the crowbar she was once again wielding out of her grasp and sending it clattering away.
Sadly, she wasn’t in the mood to stay down and admit she was outclassed. In the time it took me to change course and advance upon her, she’d managed to scramble back to her feet.
“We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” I said, throwing a punch at her uncovered jaw. Not overly gentlemanly of me, but it wasn’t like she wouldn’t heal fast.
It wasn’t like she wouldn’t block me either. She raised an arm, countering my attack easily and sending me stumbling past her off balance.
Strike one.
She wasn’t the only one able to play vampire here, though. My ears registered movement behind me and I spun with a backhand. Again it was blocked, but the blow hit her arms hard enough to push her to the side, ruining her own attack.
“Aw, and here I thought you were beginning to like me,” she replied, actually grinning.
“How’s this? I like you just enough to take you out...” Oh fuck!
And just like that, I got caught playing the banter game when I should’ve been paying more attention to fighting. She caught my fist, spun, and launched me over her shoulder like I was a sack of moldy shit.
I landed hard enough to bounce once before ending up in a crumpled heap.
Ouch.
“Guess it was a good date, since you got laid ... out flat.”
The only thing worse than losing a fight was losing a fight I should’ve been winning. And, truth be told, the only thing worse than that was losing to someone who was happy to talk shit.
“Now stay on your back like a good puta, Bill Freewill, and maybe you won’t wake up as dust tomorrow. I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt since you helped me out once, but push your luck and I will end you.”
“My name isn’t Bill Free...”
Boom!
Sally was firing again, hopefully with more luck than I was having. It was deafeningly loud to my vampire ears, but nothing I hadn’t experienced before. However, Char acted as if someone had just placed air horns on either side of her head and pulled the trigger.
She covered both her ears and screamed as the gunshot echoed across the pier.
Fucking newbs.
Hoping it wasn’t a ruse, I scrambled to my feet and closed the distance between us, fist raised.
A part of me expected for her to grin at the last second and once again send me flying, but she actually seemed confused – looking around as if unsure of which direction I was coming from.
Being the sporting fellow I am, I decided to give her a hand – All Might style.
“TEXAS SMASH!”
Much to even my surprise, I caught her with a right to the kisser that sent her flying, busted nose and all.
That was more like it, not to mention considerably less embarrassing. Hopefully my friends, especially Tom, were too preoccupied to have seen the fight up until now. I’d eaten enough shit for one day. I didn’t care for another mouthful.
Char landed a good ten feet away, appearing stunned from the blow.
And why not? I’d grown far too used to facing opponents for whom my best wasn’t even in the ballpark. To actually fight someone where I had the physical advantage ... well, I wasn’t a bully or anything, but fuck it. I could get used to this shit.
But first I had to end this, and that wasn’t going to happen if I stood around acting like a self-satisfied douche every time I got a lucky hit.
That said, Char had been right earlier. I’d earned an out in her book and the truth was, she’d earned one in mine. And, despite everything, I wasn’t entirely convinced she was evil. I mean, yeah, she was definitely a vengeful as fuck vampire slayer, but with most vamps being first class pricks I wasn’t sure that counted against her.
One chance. After that, she was dust in the wind.
I leapt upon her prone form, pinning her down – hopefully.
Or at least I tried to. Dazed or not, it was like trying to wrestle an angry bobcat ... at least until Sally fired off two more shots in succession.
Char screamed in pain as she tried to break free from my grapple, but it was pure desperation, a far cry from the controlled moves she’d been kicking my ass with up until now.
“What the fuck is up with you?”
“I ... I can’t...,” she gasped. “It ... hurts.”
“That’s what she said.”
Both the fight and the snark seemed to have gone out of her, though, as she lay beneath me wincing – and not from anything I was doing to her.
Taking advantage of the momentary lull in having my ass handed to me, I let go of one of her arms and ripped the mask off her face. Yep, no doubt about it. She was the one who’d been pretending to be blind earlier.
Hold on a second...
Her eyes were unfocused, darting every which way but my direction, and the irises were clouded over, like she had heavy cataracts or something.
“Holy Daredevil, Batman.”
“T-take a picture, asshole,” she snarled. “It lasts longer.”
“I’ve got a better idea, blind fury. Call off your lackeys. Much as I hate to say this, Falcon is off limits.” Left unsaid was, for now anyway.
“What?”
“Those monsters over there going apeshit against the warehouse. Call them off.”
“How?”
“Um ... however you would do such a thing.”
She stopped struggling and stared up at me, albeit not actually at me. “Are you seriously telling me, Bill Freewill, that you’re stupid enough to think I’m controlling those fucking things?”
“Okay, first off, the name is Bill Ryder and I’m the vampire Freewill.”
“Is that supposed to mean something?”
“Kinda ... I guess not. Wait a second. You mean you’re not behind this attack?”
“No. I’m trying to stop it, moron.”
HIND-BLINDSIGHT
I dared a glance back toward the warehouse. Sure enough, my friends were still occupied. Among the crazed monstrosities, the majority of which were still focused on turning Falcon’s warehouse into an outhouse, I could easily make out Tom’s white faith aura as he waded into the fray. Elsewhere, the angry red glow of battle magic told me Christy was busy doing her part, although hopefully being judicious about it.
They all seemed to be okay for the moment as well as not paying attention to me, which was good because suddenly I was feeling somewhat less than smart.
“Explain,” I ordered.
Char made a dismissive sound. “I don’t need to explain nothing to you, Freebill, or whatever the fuck you call yourself.”
“Fine, then I’ll explain.” It was either that or play a game of “No, you go first” until such time as this entire place was reduced to rubble. “We came here to stop you and found an army of monsters instead.”
“So you’re not with them?”
“Would I be having a conversation with you if I was?”
As a show of good faith – fully expecting it to backfire in my face, thus proving the universe hated nice guys – I let go of Char and backed away, allowing her to get to her feet.
An unsporting asshole would’ve used that moment to double-cross me and, truth be told, it wasn’t exactly like I didn’t deserve it for being a trusting fool. However, Char merely picked herself off the ground and dusted herself off.
“No, I suppose not.”
“So then same question to you,” I said. “You’re not with them?”
“With those assholes? No way.”
“Then why...”
“I’ve been tracking those black armband fucks for like two weeks now. You already had the displeasure of meeting a few of their recruits.”
“Hard to forget.”
“Yeah, well, they’re some crazy Aryan Nation offshoot or something like that. They’ve been on a rampage hunting down folks, both normal and like us.”
“You mean vampires?”
“God, it feels so fucking weird to use that word, but yeah, I suppose.”
“I can kind of guess why they’re going after people, but why other vamps?”
“Best I can tell, they’re looking to be the only game in town. You’re either one of them or you’re dust. But don’t think for a second these pendejos aren’t enjoying this shit.”
And all at once it made sense. The dusted vamps Falcon had told us about. I’d been wondering how likely it was that one person could’ve been responsible, even someone with Char’s fighting skills. But if I was hearing correctly, then maybe these assholes had the numbers to account for the extra killings. If so, then all the more reason to stop them. “And that’s why you’re after them?”
“Let’s just say they made the mistake of targeting someone I cared about.” Her fangs descended at what was obviously a painful memory, but a moment later she retracted them. “But even if they hadn’t, I don’t know about you, jefe, but the last thing the world needs right now is a bunch of super skinheads running amok.”
“Not going to argue. But that still doesn’t tell me what any of you are doing here right now.”
“You ain’t my babysitter, so I don’t have to...” There came the sound of more destruction near the warehouse, telling us that perhaps now wasn’t the time for an overdrawn heart to heart. “Okay, fine, long story short. That bird guy’s been all over the news. Word on the street was that the armbands were planning to hit him before he could get to them.”
“Wait, Falcon? So, that’s why you were skulking around outside Sally’s place when I ran into you earlier?”
“Don’t know any Sally. I was just keeping an eye on bird guy, since I had a feeling he was being tailed. Interesting coincidence that he just so happened to be hanging out at the same address you gave me.”
“Not really. I’m trying to make sure my people aren’t on his radar. But hold on. If you were going to all that trouble to stop these guys, why didn’t you just tell him?”
“Because he’s a fucking cop and I don’t need that shit. Now are you going to shut up and let me finish or what?”
I glanced nervously over toward where the assault continued. “Sorry.”
“Apology accepted. Anyway, I was tracking him when things got weird.”
“Weird?”
“Weirder. Out of nowhere, these goons just mobilized, but not in a normal sort of way. It was like all of a sudden these apes discovered how to shut their mouths and get shit done.”
“Go on.”
“I was scoping them out, debating when to make my move, when these other freaks showed up and they all started working together, like they had a playbook or something. Makes no sense, man, because before tonight, these jackasses barely tolerated each other. And now they’re working with whatever those things are.”
“Believe me, I get it. I tangled with those proto-leprechauns a few days ago...” I held up a hand. “Yes, that’s what they are. And believe me, they didn’t seem like the type for team-ups either.”
“So what’s going on?”
“Honestly? No idea. I thought you were calling the shots.”
“Me? I mean, I’m flattered and all, but why would you think that?”
“Oh, I don’t know. You show up wearing a mask, kick ass, and then you disappear just as quickly.”
‘And that makes me the bad guy?”
“Well, you have to admit, calling yourself Char is just a wee bit sinister.”
She put her hands on her hips. “It’s short for Charisma ... my name, dumbass.”
“Oh. Well, what about having no scent or being so quiet? And don’t tell me you just found some manticore venom lying on the street.”
“Manticore what? That a brand of scent remover or something?”
“Scent remover?”
“Yeah. You can buy that shit on Amazon. My uncle’s a hunter, told me all about it. As for being quiet, well, when you’re like me...” She waved a hand in front of her eyes. “You learn the value of noise, as well when not to make any.”
I had a lot more I wanted to ask her, like how the hell she was blind to begin with. The only blind vamps I’d ever met had been crazed zealots, forced to jam hot pokers into their eye sockets every hour, since otherwise they regenerated like crazy.
Sadly, I had a feeling the rest of my Q&A would have to wait. I’d wasted enough time, time that should’ve been spent helping my friends.
Apparently, Char was of the same mindset.
“You got any more questions for me, Freebill? Or can we go stop the world from burning now?”
♦ ♦ ♦
A temporary truce in place, or so I hoped, Char retrieved her weapon and then we both raced into the fray.
“This way!” I directed.
“No shit, dickless,” Char shouted back.
Sightless she might be, but I needed to remember my Daredevil analogy from earlier. Almost everything about vampires was enhanced compared to when we were human. Well, okay, maybe not dick size, but that was already good enough ... not that I would’ve complained about having more.
Anyway, strength, speed, healing, check check and check. Equally important was the massive boost to our senses. Night vision was my personal favorite, but there was no denying both smell and hearing were amped up to crazy levels as well. I could only imagine the experience was even more intense for someone who’d come to rely on those other senses.
Sure enough, she ran straight and true, seeming to have no problem homing in on her prey.
“I got the armbands,” she said. “You go help with those other freaks.”
“Right on. Soon as I top off the old tank.”
“What?”
“Never mind. Hey, you remember that woman I was with earlier?”
“The one with the freaky dog?”
“Yep. Do yourself a favor and stay away from her.”
“Why?”
I was about to tell her about Tom’s white aura of faith before realizing that likely didn’t mean shit to her. “She’s dangerous to vamps. Get close enough and she’ll melt you into goo.”
“You keep some crazy friends, Freebill.”
“You have no idea.”
That was enough banter for now. We’d be upon the battle in moments at our current speed.
However, we were already close enough to notice that things were ... strange. And I mean stranger than vamps, garbage disposal dwarves, and Chernobyl brand fish sticks all working together.
It was more how they were working together that struck me as odd.
I’d run into fuckers like these armband vamps before. Though they could certainly be unpredictable, they tended to have one thing in common: most were fucking loudmouths. Go figure, white supremists weren’t exactly a subtle bunch. Now, though, they were all quiet, seemingly focused on the task at hand – the warehouse. And this was despite both Tom and Sally having waded into the battle.
Likewise with those freaky leprechauns. Those things had practically oozed buckets of chaotic crazy last time I’d seen them. Now, they, too, seemed way too focused and organized.
I spied Christy hitting a group from their flank, blowing up the asp
halt beneath them and driving them toward the water as I’d instructed. However, rather than turn and swarm her, the creatures simply picked themselves back up and headed toward the purple force dome again – a dome which, if we’re being honest, didn’t look like it was going to hold for much longer.
It was the same with them all.
So focused were they on the task ahead, that none of them – fish, leprechaun, or vamp – seemed to notice me and Char coming up from behind them.
Once I was within range, I took a flying leap, landing upon the back of one of the vamps – a skinny fellow wearing a beaten-up biker vest, like he was some low-rent extra from Sons of Anarchy.
Focused – or compelled – as he was, he was still cognizant enough to put up some fight, but not enough to keep me from sinking my teeth into his neck.
Oh, fuck me that’s good!
In terms of nutrition, vampire blood wasn’t a replacement for the blood of the living. It was like trying to survive on nothing but caffeine and empty calories.
That said, in the short term it was like eating a Snickers when you were starving, satisfying as fuck.
Best of all, it hit my stomach like rocket fuel, adding this vamp’s somewhat less than impressive strength to my own.
Yeah, that was the downside of the here and now. With the exception of Gan, pretty much every vampire on the planet was all of three weeks old. That meant the boost I got was modest at best. Still, doubling my power wasn’t something to sneeze at. And fortunately, the effects were cumulative.
Either way, I drank more than was warranted, mostly because I was fucking starving, before snapping the biker’s neck and dropping him like a bad habit.
“Holy shit,” Char said from nearby. “What the hell did you do to him?”
“Nothing I suggest you try and copy.”
My supernatural public service announcement over, I pressed on, taking down two more vamps in the line and adding their strength to my own.
A part of me almost felt bad hitting these guys in their blindside while they were busy zombie walking toward Falcon’s warehouse, but it was a really small part.
Bill of the Dead (Book 2): Everyday Horrors Page 31