Cornelli

by Johanna Spyri

  Cornelli had not appeared at Martha's cottage for quite a number ofdays, and so Martha was filled with grief and anxiety. There were manyreasons for this. First of all, she loved the child as if she had beenher own and missed her daily visits terribly. She also knew that therewas something the matter with Cornelli and that this was the reasonwhy she did not come. From the time the child was small, she had runover to her old friend every single day and had told her everything.Martha was also sorry for her guest's sake that Cornelli stayed away.She had told Dino how merry and bright the child could be and how hewould enjoy her as a daily companion. Now it had all come to nothing.

  In the meantime Dino and Martha had become firm friends, and the oldwoman was very eager to make everything cosy and comfortable for herpolite and friendly housemate. After his daily walks and after he haddone his school work conscientiously, Dino loved always to sit downbeside Martha. Then she would talk to him and tell him many thingswhich Dino loved to hear.

  She generally told about Cornelli's father and mother, for Martha hadknown the latter as a small child. Before long, though, she wouldalways begin to talk about Cornelli, for she never tired of thatsubject. She assured Dino that she had never known a more bright oramusing little girl. Dino always assured her that he could not believethis and when Martha even asserted that Cornelli was more attractivethan any child she had ever seen, Dino laughed.

  "She looks exactly like a little owl," he always said. "One can hardlysee her eyes. I should love her to come again, though," he added, forhe was curious to see Cornelli when she was funny and bright, as Marthadescribed her.

  When Dino had gone to his room that evening, Martha quickly put on abetter apron, took the big shawl from her cupboard, and putting it onher shoulders, went quietly out of the house and over to the Director'sresidence. She looked up at the kitchen windows and saw a light there,as well as in the room that overlooked the garden. On entering thekitchen Martha saw Esther and Miss Mina sitting down to a plentifulsupper. The latter was just getting up to answer a bell which had rungin the dining room, but Esther offered the empty seat to her oldacquaintance.

  "Sit down, Martha. I am sure you have earned a rest, the same as Ihave," she said, and with these words moved three platters and a bottleover to the new arrival. "Just take it. There is a lot left and I amglad when it is gone, for then I can plan something new for to-morrow."

  "Thank you, Esther," Martha replied. "I have already eaten supper. Itis very nice of you to invite me to share it with you, but I reallycan't."

  "How can you refuse? I simply won't have it. Anybody can eat what Icook, even the Emperor of Russia himself. I am sure you are not yetquite as mighty as that," Esther proceeded eagerly, loading a platewith macaroni and stewed plums.

  "Please, Martha, don't make a fuss; just eat this and drink this glassof wine. I don't know why you shouldn't. Why shouldn't you eat suppertwice, if it is good?" Martha did not dare to refuse Esther's offeringany more, so she began to eat her second supper, which was much moreabundant than the first had been.

  "What brings you here so late, Martha; what is it?" asked Esthercuriously, for this visit was quite unusual.

  "I was going to ask you something, Esther, and I thought that I wouldinterfere less with your work in the evening than at any other time,"Martha answered. "Cornelli, who used to come to me every day has notbeen to see me all week. I thought that the ladies might have objectedto her going to such a humble old woman as I am. I could understandthat well enough. Do you think they have?"

  "Oh no, they don't object at all," Esther replied. "Miss Mina has toldthem that our master thinks well of you. But you have no idea howchanged the child is in all her ways. One hardly knows her any more.Three or four times a morning she used to come running in and out ofthe kitchen. She was always singing and flying about the garden likea little bird, at all hours of the day.

  "Who picked all the fine berries and the yellow plums, the juicy, darkred cherries from the young trees over there, so that it was a pleasureto see her? Cornelli, of course! And now she won't even look atanything. All the berries are dried up by now and spoiled, and thefine cherries, too. The yellow plums, also, are lying under the treeby the dozen. They are only meant for children; the ladies won't botherabout them and one can't cook them, either. So they fall down and liethere, and Cornelli never raises her head when she goes by them."

  Martha was much too modest to say how she would have loved to have alittle basket full of plums for her young boarder. She never couldgive him any fruit and she knew how he would enjoy some. But as longas he was staying with her she could not do it, for that would seemas if she were begging for herself.

  "Yes, Esther," she said after a while, "I certainly have noticed howchanged Cornelli is. I pray to the Lord that everything will come rightin the end. Of course, it is hard for the child to get used to a newlife right away. But it surely will be good for her to have somebodylooking after her bringing-up."

  Esther shrugged her shoulders significantly at this, but said nothing."Is the child still in her room or has she gone out, Esther, do youknow? I wanted to tell her to come again to see me, as long as theladies don't object."

  Esther did not need to answer. At that moment Cornelli came stealingquietly down the hall. When she saw Martha a ray of sunshine passedacross her face and she greeted the old woman.

  "I came to see if you were ill," said Martha. "What keeps you fromcoming to see me, Cornelli? The time has passed so slowly without you,child," she added, holding Cornelli's hand affectionately.

  "With me, too," said Cornelli hoarsely.

  "Please come to-morrow and every day, the way you used to," Marthabegged.

  "No, I won't come," Cornelli answered.

  "Why not, Cornelli?" Martha asked, full of dismay.

  "Because the boy is there. I don't like him and he does not like me,"Cornelli stated.

  Martha now eagerly told Cornelli of the falsehood of this assertion.She told her how Dino had asked after her every day and had hoped thatshe would come again. It was awfully dull for him to be alone all daywithout a playmate. Martha was quite sure that it had not been Dino'sfault that she did not like him. The boy had nothing at all againsther, for he was asking every day that she come back.

  "Tell me, Cornelli," Martha said finally, "why don't you like the boy?He is so nice!"

  "I'll come to see you to-morrow," was Cornelli's answer, and itsufficed. Quite happily Martha said good-bye, making Cornelli repeather promise that she would spend some time next day with her old friendand the new boarder.

  Next day Cornelli actually arrived at Martha's cottage at the accustomedtime. Martha was standing by her carnation pots on the porch, readyto greet the visitor who was approaching.

  "Dino is so glad that you are coming, Cornelli," she said, offeringher hand as greeting. "He has just returned from drinking milk. Look,here he comes!"

  Dino had heard the arrival of Martha's expected friend and opening thedoor had stepped out. "Why have you not come for so long?" he asked,giving Cornelli his hand. "I waited for you every day."

  Cornelli gave no answer. Entering the room together they sat down justas they did the first day of their acquaintance. Martha went out,because she knew that the children would get along better alone, andshe was very anxious for the two to become good friends.

  "Your small white kid is growing more cunning every day," said Dino."You should see it when it bounds about so gaily."

  "I don't care if I see it again or not. Nothing matters at all to me,"Cornelli returned in a most unfriendly manner.

  "No, this is not true," said Dino, laughing kindly. "When one talksthat way it shows that one cares a great deal and that one is full ofbitter thoughts, just because one can't have what one wants. I knowthat very well; I do exactly the same thing."

  Cornelli was so astonished by Dino's knowledge in the matter that shegazed at him dumfounded.

  "Oh, yes, I know how it is," he repeated. "But you do not need to bebitter, because you le
ad the finest life anyone possibly could. Ialways think so each morning and evening when I go over to the stableto drink my milk. What a wonderful garden you have! I never saw suchfruit. A whole tree full of plums and all the berries on the bushes!And then the two fine horses that are kept separately in your stablefor you. Matthew has told me that your father drives with you everyweek and that you can have everything in the house and in the garden,for you are the only child."

  "Oh, if only there were twelve or twenty children in the house, theneverything would be different," Cornelli broke forth passionately."But I am always alone and never can say a word to anybody. And if oneis made so that everybody hates and despises one, and if no one in thewhole world can help one and everything gets worse all the time---Youdo not know how it is. I only wish I could die right away--" HereCornelli burst into sudden tears. Putting her head on the table shesobbed violently.

  Dino looked quite frightened; he had never intended to make Cornellisad and he could not understand what she had said. But he rememberedthat she had no mother and so he could understand her tears, for thatwas dreadfully sad. That seemed more cause for tears than that she wasan only child.

  The thought filled him with deep compassion for her, and he said softly:"Come, Cornelli! It is terribly sad that you have no mother, but youmust not think that therefore you are all alone and nobody wants tohelp you. I'll be your friend and I'll help you, but you must tell mewhat troubles you. I do not understand from what you have said. Pleaseexplain it all to me."

  "No, I can't do that, I can't tell anyone," Cornelli said between hersobs.

  "Oh, yes, you can. Don't cry any more and I'll help you. I can surelyfind a way. Please tell me."

  Dino took Cornelli's hand and gently pulled it away from her eyes.

  "No, no, I can't," she said timidly.

  "Oh, yes, you can. First of all, we'll push your hair away. It is allsticking to your forehead and your eyes; you can hardly see." Dinopushed the hair away as much as he was able; but it was still hangingdown and sticking fast.

  "Oh, now you'll see it, and then you'll make a great noise, I know,"Cornelli exclaimed desperately.

  "I do not see anything except that you look a thousand times betterthat way than with these thick, drooping fringes all over your face,"said Dino.

  "No, let them be! I know exactly how it is," cried Cornelli, makingan effort to push her hair back again. "Only you won't say it, becauseyou want to be my friend. But I know it and everybody can see it andhate me."

  "But Cornelli, why are you crying?" said Dino, full of astonishment."I don't know what you mean and I am sure you are imagining something.You must be, for one often does."

  "No, I'm not, and there are people who can see it. You must not thinkthat I imagine something, Dino; otherwise I would not be so frightenedthat I often cannot go to sleep for a long, long while. I have to thinkand think all the time. I know that it will get worse and worse andthat I won't be able to cover it up in the end. Then there won't bea single person in the world who does not hate me when he looks at me.You, too, will hate me then, I know."

  "I swear to you right now that I shall not hate you, whatever shouldappear," Dino exclaimed enthusiastically. "Just tell me for once andall what you mean. Please do it, for I might be able to help you andgive you some advice. Just tell me, for you know now that I will remainyour friend in spite of everything that might turn up."

  Cornelli still hesitated.

  "But will you still be my friend later on, when everything is stillmore changed and nobody else will be my friend?" she asked persistently.

  "Yes, I promise; and here is my hand!" said Dino, giving the littlegirl a hearty handshake. "You can see that I really mean it, for whatone has promised that way, one can never take back. Now you can besure that I shall always be your friend."

  Cornelli's face lit up with joy. It was obviously a great comfort toher to have a friend who would remain so for all time.

  "So now, I'll tell you what it is. But you must promise not to tellanyone in the whole, wide world about it, as long as you live."

  Dino promised, giving his hand again for solemn assurance.

  "Look, here on both sides of my forehead," said Cornelli now, hesitatinga little and pushing the fringes of hair out of her face, "I have twolarge bumps, they grow all the time and especially when I frown. Ihave to make a cross face all the time, for I cannot be jolly any moreand can never laugh again. So the bumps keep on growing and in the endthey will be just like regular horns. Then everyone will hate me, fornobody else has horns. I can do nothing now but hide them, but in theend they will come through and then my hair won't hide them any more.Then everybody can see it and people will despise me and children willbe sure to throw stones after me. Oh!"

  Cornelli again put her head on her arms and groaned in her greattrouble. Dino had listened, full of astonishment. He had never beforeheard anything like that.

  "But, Cornelli," he said, "why do you frown all the time, if the bumpsgrow when you do it? It would be so much better if you would think offunny things and would try to laugh. If you always made a pleasantface they would perhaps go away entirely."

  "I can't! I can't possibly do it," Cornelli lamented. "I know that Imake a horrid face and that I am so ugly that nobody wants to look atme. Whenever anybody looks at me I have to make a cross face, for Iknow that everybody thinks how horrid I look. I never can be happy anymore, because I have to think all the time about that terrible thingon my head, and that it is getting worse. And I can't help it and cando nothing. You don't know how it is. As long as I live I have to bethat way, and everybody will hate me. You could not laugh any more,either, if you were like that."

  "You should try to think of quite different things and then you wouldforget it. Later on it would probably seem quite different to you. Youkeep on thinking about it all the time and so you believe in it moreand more. Get it out of your head, then it will be sure to get better,"said Dino, who could not quite understand it. "Come, I'll tell you astory that will change your thoughts. Once upon a time there was anold copper pan---See, you have laughed already!"

  "Oh, that will be a fine kind of story--about an old copper pan!"Cornelli said.

  "It certainly is a fine story," Dino assured her; "just listen: Shehad a step-brother who was a wash boiler--you see, you have laughedagain! That's the way! So they went together to Paris, where there wasa revolution."

  "What is a revolution?" Cornelli asked, quite thrilled.

  "See how the story interests you!" said Dino, thoroughly pleased. "Youhave no more wrinkles on your forehead, because you are listening well.Didn't I guess what you have to do? I'll go on now. You call it arevolution when nobody wants to remain in their old places andeverything goes to pieces."

  "What do you mean by going to pieces? Do you mean it the way chairsbegin to go to pieces when the glue comes off and the legs get looseand shaky?"

  "Just that way," Dino assented. "When all laws and orders begin to goto pieces like chairs, when the glue is off and everything crashes andtumbles down; do you understand?"

  "Yes. And what happened?" Cornelli wanted to know.

  "The travellers liked that well," Dino continued, "for they were fullof discontented thoughts. The copper pan had thought for a long timethat she wanted to be something else. She was tired of cooking greasyfood and of all the time being full of soot at the bottom; she wantedto be something better. The wash boiler had similar thoughts. He thoughthe would be much better off as a nice tea kettle. He thought how niceit would be to stand on a fine table, so he wanted to get away fromthe laundry.

  "When they came to the revolution they joined in it, too. They becamequite famous making speeches, for they both could talk very well. Thewash boiler had learned it from the washer women, and the copper panfrom the cook. So they were both asked what they wanted to become. Thecopper pan wanted to become an ice box; she wanted to sparkle outsidewith fine wood and inside with splendid ice. The wash boiler wantedto become a fine tea kettle and be a
ble to stand on a finely laid-outtable. So they both became what they had wished.

  "But the copper pan, who had been used to the cosy fire, began to shakeand freeze when the ice filled her whole inside. Her teeth werechattering while she looked about to see if she could discover a littlefire anywhere. But nobody ever brought any burning spark near her. Shesuffered the bitterest hunger besides, because she had been used toquite different nourishment from fat morsels roasting in her insides.Now she had to swallow little lumps of ice and nothing else. She wasnot a bit pleased with shining outside and in, for she had to thinkall the time: how terrible it is to starve and freeze to death.

  "The tea kettle meanwhile was standing on a beautifully set table.Many splendidly dressed young ladies and gentlemen were sitting aroundhim and drinking tea out of fine china cups, and eating from lovelygold-rimmed plates. The tea kettle felt flattered and said to himself:'Oh, now I can be anybody's equal.' But one of the ladies said: 'I cansmell tar soap and I think it comes from this tea kettle. I wonderwhat that means?' Her neighbor laughed and said: 'I noticed it longago. I hope it has not been used for washing stockings.' So they lookedat the kettle and sniffed and turned up their noses with disdain.

  "The tea kettle lost his assurance, for he knew quite well that manyhundreds of stockings had been boiled inside of him. The poor thinghad never guessed that the smell of tar soap would stick to him in hisnew shape. He felt very cramped and uncomfortable in the society hewas in, and was possessed with the thought of getting away and returningto the place where he had been comfortable and had been held in highesteem, for he had really been a first-rate boiler.

  "Then suddenly the revolution ceased. The lady of the house who ownedthe ice box said: 'I do not want the horrible ice box any more, whichthey have exchanged for my good old ice box. All the ice that comesout of it tastes of onion soup.' The copper pan had always cooked thissoup better than any other. 'Lulu, throw it out to the old iron heap,'said the lady. So Lulu, the butler, and Lala, the maid, took the icebox and with terrible might threw her down on the scrap heap, whereold iron, bones and dirt lay in the back yard.

  "The ice box felt that all her limbs were giving way and that everythingwas going to end badly. She lamented: 'Oh, if only I had not joinedthe revolution! If I had only stayed at home by the cosy fire! Oh, ifonly---' And with that she cracked completely.

  "On the same day the young lady on whose table the kettle was standingsaid: 'Now I have had enough of this horrid tar-soap boiler. I wanta genuine tea kettle and not an imitation. Away with this thing!' Sothe butler took the kettle and dashed him down to the heap of rubbishin the yard. It was the same rubbish heap where his step-sister hadbeen thrown, and in his fall he broke his own and his step-sister'slast bones. Then he exclaimed in bitter pain: 'Oh, if only I had notjoined the revolution! Oh, if I were only home in the peaceful, steaminglaundry.' Then he was completely smashed by the old muskets that wereused in the revolution and that had been thrown down on top of him.And this is the end of the story."

  "Yes, they were right. If only they had not joined the revolution!"Cornelli said sympathetically.

  "Yes, and I am right, too," Dino cried triumphantly. "Just see howmuch it helped you to forget your curious bump affair. You have nomore wrinkles on your forehead and you have pushed all your hair away.You look entirely different; I hardly know you now."

  Cornelli in very truth had been so eager in listening to the storythat with one quick motion she had pushed the hanging curtains out ofher eyes. She had been anxious not to miss a word, and the hair hadbothered her very much. Her whole face had become bright and changedduring the thrilling tale.

  "Just look at yourself!" Dino encouraged her, taking a little mirrorfrom the wall and holding it in front of the little girl.

  "No, no, I do not want to see it!" she cried out. In the same momentshe had pulled her hair back again over her eyes, and on her foreheadappeared a lot of wrinkles.

  "Don't get so excited!" said Dino, putting back the mirror. "But I amawfully glad to know a way to help you. I shall do it every day, butyou must promise to come regularly. I am sure you'll forget everythingelse that worries you, and in the end you'll forget about it and sobe gay again."

  Cornelli shook her head. "No, you can't prevent it from getting worse,"she said, covering her forehead with more hair. However, she tookDino's hand as a promise to come again, for she had enjoyed her visitvery much and was looking forward to repeating it.

  From that day on, Cornelli wandered over to Martha's little house asshe had always done. The old woman cried with joy when she heard thechild's merry laughter after all that time, for it had been a greatgrief to her to see the bright child so terribly changed. She lovedto leave the children by themselves, for then they always seemed toenjoy themselves best. From time to time she heard their happy laughter;it thrilled her with joy, and she never wanted to interrupt it. Shehad seen how Cornelli behaved when listening to one of Dino's stories;the little girl was as eager as if she were experiencing it all herself.In her burning zeal she would fling back her hair, her eyes wouldsparkle as in days gone by, and a brightly laughing face would regardthe story teller. Everything else was forgotten for the time; but ifsomething reminded Cornelli of her own life and troubles, all sunshinewas suddenly gone from her face, her forehead clouded up, and thehorrible sticky hair was again hanging over her eyes.

  So Martha always tried to leave the children undisturbed. She had manyhopes for Cornelli on account of this daily intercourse with thecharming boy, whose clear brow was never troubled and who could soquickly drive away the clouds from his friend's face.

  As soon as Cornelli left the little house and was approaching her owngarden, everything changed back to the old condition. Martha, lookingafter the child, could always see the fearful looking hair that sostrangely disfigured the little girl's pretty face. Then she wouldsigh deeply and would say to herself: It seems like a disease, but whocan help her? Oh, if our blessed lady had seen her child so terriblydisfigured!

  Cornelli was very much surprised when she found that Saturday eveninghad come again, for the last two weeks had flown by very fast.

  She ran through the garden. Under the plum tree lay the last fullyripened dark gold plums. Cornelli picked them up; they were reallysplendid, but they had given her no pleasure that year. She took themwith her and put them on Martha's table.

  "Oh, what fine yellow plums! I am sure they taste as sweet as honey,"exclaimed Dino. "Are they from your garden? When the sun shines onthem in the morning, all the branches seem to sparkle with reddishgold like a Christmas tree."

  "Yes, they are from the tree. Do you want to eat them?" asked Cornelli.

  "With pleasure. But you must eat some, too," said Dino.

  "No, I don't want to," Cornelli replied. "Just try whether they aregood. If you do not like them, you can leave them or give them to thebirds."

  "Oh, but there is nothing that tastes as sweet and splendid as thesegolden plums!" cried Dino, while he was slowly eating one after another.

  "What a shame! I wish I had known how much you like them; you reallyought to have told me," Cornelli said. "There are none left on thetree and they are the last that were lying on the grass. But very soonwe'll have the best juicy pears--they are perfectly delicious, I think,even better--and then I'll bring you some every day."

  "Yes, it certainly would be great to have a pear feast with you everyday," said Dino, looking admiringly at the last reddish plum beforehe ate it. "It is easy enough for you, Cornelli. You can stay righthere under the pear tree, but I have to go away. I'll have to spendmy time behind the school house walls, regretting all that I havelost."

  "But you are not going away," said Cornelli with dismay.

  It had never occurred to her that this happy companionship could everend.

  "Yes, I have to. If I could, I would stay here much longer with ourgood friend Martha. She is better than anybody I know except my mother,and she takes care of me as if I were a silkworm."

  "Y
es, and when you go, everything is over," said Cornelli, speakingas if Dino were her enemy. Her eyes glowed at him from under her hairand she seemed to be accusing him of some bitter wrong. She now turnedaway, as if to say: Now I do not want to hear of anything more. ButDino understood her sudden anger.

  "No, Cornelli," he said soothingly, "just the opposite will happen.It is not over at all, because it has only just begun. I have plannedwith Martha to-day that I shall come again next summer and the summerafter and every year after that, till we are both old and gray."

  But Cornelli only saw the immediate future before her and what was goingto happen now; she could not look so far ahead.

  "Yes, but it is so long till next year, that you are sure to forgetall about me a hundred times," she said crossly, as if she were chidingher companion.

  "No, I won't do that," said Dino quietly. "I won't forget you once,least of all a hundred times. I'll prove it to you, Cornelli. Let usstill have a good time together and enjoy the four remaining days thatI can stay here. Let us look forward, also, to the time when I shallcome again. Just think how much the kid will have grown by then! Weshall be able to drive together. I'll be the coachman and you'll bethe lady in the carriage. That will be splendid!"

  But Cornelli could no longer be really gay. She always saw the momentbefore her when Dino had to say good-bye, and when all their fun wouldbe over. The morning really came fast enough when she had to take leaveof him in Martha's cottage. After Dino had driven away, Cornelli buriedher head in her arms and cried piteously. Martha, too, was heavy ofheart, and sat beside her, crying quietly.

  That same evening when dinner was done and Cornelli got up from tableto leave the room, the cousin said: "You have not said a single wordto-day, Cornelli. You seem to get worse instead of better! Ought yourfather find you worse on coming home than when he left?"

  "Good-night," said Cornelli hoarsely, and left the room without oncelooking up.

  "There is nothing to be done with her; you can see it for yourself,Betty. You have thought that we could still produce a change for thebetter," said Miss Dorner, after Cornelli had shut the door behindher. "What have we accomplished with our best efforts? We have triedhard enough for her father's sake. How terrible it will be for him tolive alone with her again! Instead of cheering his lonely life, shewill only cause him worry and trouble. And what a sight she is! Haveyou ever seen an obstinacy equal to hers in all your life?"

  "No, never," replied the friend. "It actually seems as if all thehelpful words we have spoken had the opposite effect with her. Wheneverwe told her how terrible she looked, the disfiguring hair fringesalways seemed to get worse. I should like to know what one could doto break her stubborn will. Maybe great severity would do it or bringingtogether Cornelli and other children; they might cure her by laughingat her."

  "I do not believe so, for nothing seems to help," Miss Dorner concluded."My cousin himself, when he comes back, shall decide what to do withher. But I know that one thing is certain: whatever will be done, shewill never be a joy to her father."

  CHAPTER VII

  A NEW SORROW