by K. C. Crowne
“You mean, as a couple?”
Hearing the words, hearing out loud the idea of me and someone being together. It was strange.
“Yes, as a couple.”
“Well, here’s the good news. If you want to try to make things work with Hunter, you don’t have to decide right now. That’s what dating is all about. You hang out, you get to know each other, and you see what happens. You don’t need to rush into anything.”
“But that’s just it,” I said. “It’s…”
“What?”
“If he were just some guy I was seeing on the rebound, maybe that’d be one thing. But…”
“But what?” she leaned in, that glimmer of excitement in her eye that always showed up when there was gossip to be found.
“It’s…I don’t think I just kind of like him. I really, really like him. The thing that’s so scary is that I think there might be really something special between us. It’s like I’m going from zero to a million miles per hour and it’s too much to process.”
“Then I’ve got good news – there’s a super easy solution to this particular quandary.”
“What’s that?”
“You ready?”
“Ready.”
“Talk to him.”
“What?”
“Call him up and talk to him. Have him meet you for a drink, or go over to his place. But tell him everything you told me and talk to him about it.”
“You don’t think it’s too much?”
She shook her head. “Not at all. Everything you’ve said has been perfectly reasonable. The only issue is that you don’t know where he stands, what he thinks about all of this. So, what you need to do is talk to him.”
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, the idea making me nervous as hell.
“It’s a lot,” I said. “Just a lot to process.”
“You’re new to this whole thing. But I don’t have a single doubt in my mind that you’ll make it work. But the first thing you need to do is talk to Hunter.”
Her eyes lit up as she remembered something.
“And don’t forget to talk to him about the Halloween party! I can’t wait to see what he’ll dress up as. And you’ll get to meet the new guy I’ve been crazy about.”
I chuckled. “Something tells me he’s not the dressing up type.”
By the time I reached the last sip of my wine I was feeling determined – and I was sure it wasn’t just because of the booze.
After our break, I texted Hunter.
Hey. Mind coming over today? Want to talk to you about some stuff.
I read the text over and over, weighing each word carefully before closing my eyes and finally hitting
“send.” No response came in the first few minutes, but that was normal for a non-connected guy like Hunter.
I finished up the shift, picking up Parker when I was done with work. The kid was ecstatic, already thinking about Halloween and trick-or-treating.
The plan for Saturday was to take Parker out trick-or-treating in the early evening, then for all of us to go to Lizzie’s for her annual holiday extravaganza. The party was a Silver Pines tradition, with Lizzie and some of the other small business owners in town turning their shops into a one-night Halloween-themed block party. Some would be done up like haunted houses, some would be little bars where the adults could stop in for a cocktail – or two.
There’d plenty of adults to look after the kids and, from what I’d heard, it would be tons of fun.
And it seemed like the perfect place to introduce Hunter as my boyfriend.
Assuming that’s what he wanted.
I drove back home with Parker, picking up a few burgers at the Red Kettle on the way. But when I got back home, the same scene from the other day was taking place in front of my house.
Two white vans were there, along with a whole work crew.
And Adam.
“Come on!” Adam yelled. “Hurry and get this all fixed!”
I stepped out of the car, Parker staying close to me.
“Adam, what’s going on?”
He turned to me with an expression of frustration.
“It’s bullshit,” he said.
“Hey!” I said, my tone sharp as I put a hand over Parker’s ears. “Language!”
He didn’t apologize. “It’s the solar panels. After I had them installed, I got a call from the company that they’re under recall. Evidently, these dumbasses didn’t get the memo until after they installed them. They’re putting the new ones in now, but the process is going to take a while.”
“Are you serious?”
“Mom?” Parker asked, sensing something was wrong.
“They’re going to be working into the evening,” Adam told me. “And not finished until tomorrow night – at the soonest.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me about this?” I asked.
“Because I didn’t know. Listen, I get that this is a pain, but I’m taking care of it. In the meantime, you can stay at my house.”
“Wait, what?”
“There’s plenty of room. You and Parker can have the whole guest house if you want. But you can’t stay here.”
I looked back at the house, the whole place covered in construction and equipment.
Then I checked my phone.
No text from Hunter.
“Fine,” I said.
Adam smiled. Part of me was sure I’d made a terrible, terrible mistake.
Hunter
It was Thursday.
And I was back in LA.
I’d left Silver Pines behind, packing what little I cared to take in a duffle bag and hopping in my truck.
Adam, and the meeting I’d had with him, had been the final straw. I’d wanted to start fresh, to try and cobble together a new life in a new town.
But the bullshit had a way of catching up with me. It always did.
I was in a bar downtown, the sun setting in the west, wild and orange. The place was packed and normally that would’ve bothered me. But I didn’t give a damn.
My phone buzzed.
It was another text from Mandy.
Hey. Are you still coming Saturday night? There’s a change of plans, but nothing huge.
I hit the “off” button to my phone and tucked it back into my pocket.
I wasn’t. I didn’t know what the future would hold.
But it couldn’t involve her.
What kind of man would I be if I were to bring her into my world, if I were to make her a part of the chaos that had been my life up until then?
I didn’t want to leave her hanging, however.
She needed to know the truth.
“Yo!” I said, gesturing to the bartender and sticking out a pair of fingers. “Over here!”
He nodded and approached.
“Two shots of Wild Turkey.”
Another nod and moments later the drinks were in front of me. I grabbed one and tossed it back so quickly I couldn’t even taste it.
Didn’t matter. I wasn’t drinking it for the taste.
I took out my phone and got up, making my way out of the bar and over to the balcony.
The view was killer – part of the reason the joint was one of my preferred watering holes when I lived in the city. But the view wasn’t what was on my mind.
No. What I was thinking about was the conversation I was about to have. The one I needed to have.
The one that would put an end to the new life I’d tried to build.
There was a shot waiting for me inside, a reward for doing what needed to be done. But I knew what I’d really need it for was taking care of the pain – both in myself, and for the pain I’d cause.
But it needed to be done.
I pulled up Mandy’s number and hit “call.”
The phone rang. My stomach tightened.
“Hey!” she asked. “Where are you? What’s up?”
She sounded so damn…happy – happy enough that I, for a moment, had doubts about what
I’d planned to do.
“I’m in LA.”
A pause.
“ What? What’re you doing there? Errands or something?”
No sense in putting it off.
“No. I’m here because…I’m here for good.”
Another pause. She was confused, and I was being cryptic.
That was no good. I had to give it to her straight, not make her puzzle over what I was trying to say.
“What do you mean you’re there for good?”
“I mean, I’m back here for good. I left my place in Silver Pines, and I’m back living in LA. Staying at a hotel now, but I’ll be finding something more permanent. I know this is short notice, and I know it’s unexpected, but it’s what I need to do. And it’s for the best.”
Another pause.
“Hunter, I need to know if this is some kind of joke. Please tell me it is.”
“It’s not. I tried to start something new, but it didn’t take. I don’t know if you were hoping something more serious might happen between us, but it’s not going to. We’re done, Mandy.”
“I don’t understand. What happened? Why would you do something like this?”
I wanted to tell her. God, I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her what Adam had done, what he’d said, and the ultimatum he’d given me.
But I knew what would happen if I did. She’d go running to him, chewing his scrawny ass out. Then he’d play the only card he’d have left. Adam would release the information, and I wouldn’t be there to stop him.
Mandy and Parker would be dragged into the muck. She’d get a reputation for running around with some drug criminal, and Parker would have even more shit to deal with from the other kids.
Not going to happen.
“I tried, Mandy. I really did. And the time you and I got to spend together was great . I’ll never forget it. But I’m just not meant to live a life like that. Some people are destined to be alone, and any time they step outside that they’ll just get hurt, and hurt everyone they care about in the process.”
“I don’t understand. What happened, Hunter?”
Not explaining it all at that moment was one of the hardest damn things I’d ever done.
“There’s nothing to explain that I haven’t already said. It’s over, Mandy. And…and tell Parker I said bye.”
“Bu-”
It was all I could take of her voice. I hit the “end call” button, and that was that.
No text or call from Mandy followed. She was either too hurt or shocked or pissed or some combination of all three to want to talk to me again.
I stared off into the distance for a time, trying to make my peace with the city I’d be calling home again.
I’d do what I’d done before – get some cheap apartment, blend into the crowd, never make a connection with anyone.
I’d live that way until…I didn’t know.
But it didn’t matter. All I gave a damn about was that I wasn’t going to let Mandy get hurt again by someone like me. No doubt a fine woman like her would find a good man, someone to take care of her, someone who didn’t come with my baggage.
I was a fool to think I could start again.
When I was ready, I went back into the bar and plopped into my seat. The shot was still there, and I threw it back.
“Two more,” I said.
The bartender brought them and I threw them back too.
A hand clapped down on my shoulder. I turned, and was face-to-face with a hulking dude with arms covered in tattoos.
I knew his type. He stunk of whiskey, just like I probably did. And he was itching for a fight.
Hell, I’d give him one.
“You’re in my fucking seat.”
I smirked, standing up and getting right in front of him.
“You want it? Take it.”
He matched my smirk with one of his own before pulling back his fist and letting it fly at my face. I dodged, grabbing him by the upper arm and throwing him onto the ground.
I looked up to see his friends approaching, three equally huge dudes who looked ready to get rowdy.
“Come on, assholes!” I said. “Show me what you got!”
They rushed toward me and I squared my shoulders.
This was who I was.
Time to play the part.
Mandy
I spent Thursday night in a daze. I was too shocked to even think about crying.
And I hadn’t said a word to Parker. What the hell would I tell him? That the first man who’d come into his life since his father died who gave a damn about him had simply up and left?
It would break his heart. But it had to be done. I needed to find the words, the right way to let him down.
The alarm went off on the nightstand next to my bed, and it took me a moment to remember I was at Adam’s.
The room was nice, no doubt about that. My home with Michael back when he was still alive had been cozy, but small. And the cabin wasn’t exactly the height of luxury.
Adam’s place, on the other hand, was unlike any place I’d stayed in before. The guest house was huge, more than enough space for Parker and me.
And, of course, Adam hadn’t wasted any time spoiling the hell out of Parker. His room was done up with the latest video games, a massive TV near the bed.
After stepping into some slippers and throwing on a robe, I made my way to Parker’s room, the sounds of video games blasting already in the air.
“Hey, kiddo!” I said, opening the door to see Parker in his pajamas seated cross-legged in front of the TV, his eyes glued to the screen.
He didn’t pay me any attention.
After the night I’d had, I wasn’t in the mood for any BS. I marched right over to the TV and pressed the power button on the PlayStation, the screen turning black.
“Mo-om!” Parker complained, looking totally shocked and appalled at what I’d done. “I was about to finish the mission!”
“There’s a reason I only let you play video games when you’re done with everything else – because this happens.”
“But Adam said it was OK!”
“Adam’s not your parent. I’m the one who makes the rules for you, got it?”
He slumped his shoulders and made a whine.
“Now, get ready. I’m going to throw on some clothes and I want you to brush your teeth and do the same. If I come back in here and find you playing games again, this thing is going in the trash. Got it?”
“Got it.” His tone was one of total defeat.
“Meet me in the kitchen in ten minutes, OK?”
“Fi-ine.”
I turned and left, trying to mask the frustration I felt at what was happening. When I was dressed and ready, I popped back into Parker’s room to make sure he was on task. Lucky for him, he was.
Then I left the guest house, making my way to the main estate. God, it was a hell of a trek just to go from one side of Adam’s property to another. But I soon reached the kitchen, where Adam was already setting the table – a huge breakfast spread ready for us.
“Morning,” he said with a smile. “Sleep well?”
“Fine,” I said, looking over the food in front of me. “What’s the deal with this? It’s enough food to feed twenty Parkers.”
I stepped over and picked up one of the waffles from the pile. Boxes and plastic containers on the counter let me know the food had been ordered in.
“Thought it’d be nice,” he said. “Something good to eat for breakfast on your first day here. And don’t worry about letting anything go to waste – I’ll just have the help pitch what we don’t eat.”
“So much for going green,” I said as I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down, not even all that hungry.
Then something about what he’d said played back in my mind.
“And our ‘first day’ here?” I asked. “Aren’t they going to be done with the house by the end of the day?”
A serious expression formed on his face. Adam sighed, getting up and l
eaning back against the kitchen island, his grave attitude a total contrast to the buffet of pancakes and waffles and fresh fruit.
“I got a call from the foreman of the solar panel team. He told me that the previous work on the house – the work that Hunter did – messed with the house’s structural integrity. Something like that; I don’t know much about construction.”
My hands went cold, my heart beating faster. What was he saying?
“Anyway, they had one of the city inspectors come out last night after hours – you have me to thank for pulling the strings to get that to happen.” He grinned, as if I’d be thrilled at him doing such a grand favor. “Simply put, the house isn’t suitable for anyone to live in, all sorts of code violations.”
“What are you talking about? The house was fine! And Hunter only changed out a few panels.”
I wasn’t sure why I was going to bat for the guy who’d just broken my heart. But something about it all seemed…off.
“Maybe he said he changed out a few panels, but he did some serious damage in the process.” He shook his head as he picked up the iPad from where it sat nearby. “That’s the problem with amateur work – you never know what you’re getting.”
He made a few swipes, then handed the iPad over to me. Sure enough, it was documentation from the city letting me know the house was set to be condemned.
“No, I don’t want it torn down!” I said. “That’s a family home. We’ve had it for generations!”
He took the tablet out of my hands and set it down. “Then it’s had a good run. I went over the numbers with a contractor buddy of mine and he said for the amounts of repairs you’d have to do on the place you might as well just tear it down and build something new. You’ve still got the land, and that counts for something.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. Whatever appetite I had was long gone.
“I know this is a shock, but I’ve got some good news for you.”
“What?”
“You can stay here for as long as you like. I know you’re only working part time at Lizzie’s shop, so I’m more than willing to let you stay here for no charge, of course. Have the guest house all to yourself, I’ll pay for groceries and whatever else you need.”