Chapter Eight
I slowly drummed my fingers on the table and took another sip from my drink as I patiently waited for the arrival of my food. I again picked up the menu to read. If my food took a little while longer to arrive I didn’t really care, there was no hurry. I had the whole afternoon to myself. All in all, I was feeling pretty good. As I read through the menu I looked up as I became aware that somebody was now starting to seat themselves in front of me, at my table.
A shiver went right through me. I could feel my heart pounding and I could now feel myself getting very hot. How was this possible? Caroline is sitting opposite me, just staring at me. This cannot be right, can it? I stared back at her in absolute astonishment. She looked a little different to the Caroline that was my wife, but she was without doubt, Caroline. Her hair was longer and curlier and she did not have any glasses on. I looked right into her dark brown eyes and they were exactly the same. Bloody hell, how can this be? Her clothes were very different. In fact her whole appearance was a lot less business like. ‘My’ Caroline always liked to dress in expensive designer clothes.
We must have sat staring at each other in complete silence for over a minute. As we did so my mind was frantically racing in all directions trying to work out what on earth she was doing sitting at my table. The way I saw it was very simple: Caroline being here, at my table, looking at me like she knows me, should not be possible. She should not be here.
I noticed her eyes fall from mine and then to focus on my hands that were still sitting on the menu in front of me. She then nervously reached out her hands before gently resting them on mine. I could see a tear roll down her left cheek before she asked in a quiet voice, ‘It is you, isn’t it Martin?’
If my heart wasn’t pounding before, it sure as hell was now. There was no doubting it now; she did somehow know me, and she actually addressed me by name! I was desperately trying to think of something sensible to say. Why was she so sad? Just what did she expect me to say? I continued to stare at her sad face for what seemed like an eternity.
‘Yes it is me…I’m Martin,’ I could feel myself answering with a very dry broken voice. I was doing my very best to be as careful with my answers as I possibly could, after all - it was me that wanted answers from her.
‘Have we met before?’ I asked.
As I answered, her face immediately brightened up and she now held my hands a little tighter. She swallowed a lump in her throat, gave a little smile and said, ‘I knew it was you when I first saw you in the square about twenty minutes ago, I knew it was you Martin…the moment I saw you.’ She hesitated, clearly thinking of how she was going to say whatever was coming next.
Caroline now looked directly into my eyes, sighed and then continued, ‘I don’t really know how to explain it to you. You see…you see I remember you Martin from a dream I had a few days ago. I know how this must sound to you, it’s just…it’s just…you must think I’m mad.’ Her voice trailed off and she withdrew her hands from mine.
I could sense her frustration, as she clearly thought that I would not believe a word of what she was saying. However, I was now desperate for her to finish her story, just how could she know me from a dream? That was just impossible but it was obvious that she knew something, and I wanted to know.
‘I don’t think you’re mad, please do continue. You were telling me about the dream that you had.’
She looked at me for a few moments before replying, ‘No…I shouldn’t have followed you in here. You’re just trying to humour me, that’s all…I know you don’t really believe me - nobody ever does.’
I was now even more puzzled by her little statement, just what was she talking about now? However, as far as I was concerned this was just getting started and I did not want it to finish. I wanted some answers.
‘Now look, you follow me in here, you hold my hand like you know me, you even know my name, I want to listen to what you have to say. Tell me how you know me, I want to know.’
‘Martin…’ she looked at me with her sad face, her eyes now dropped and she shook her head slightly. She now continued, ‘Martin…this is so difficult…I just know that you will not understand. You see…’
Her voice trailed off as both of us now turned our attention to a woman that had just walked up to the side of the table.
‘Is everything okay? You got me really worried disappearing like that,’ she said in a slightly overbearing manner. ‘Why did you go off like that? I’ve been looking for you you know.’
Caroline now looked rather sheepish and guilty with the sudden appearance of this woman. ‘Yes, everything is alright Kim…I just thought I would come in here…that’s all.’
There was something damn funny going on. I didn’t know what, but something was not right here. The moment Kim had walked in, Caroline immediately acted as though she were some little schoolgirl who had been caught doing something naughty. To compound the situation, Kim, whoever she was, had the mannerism of a ghastly schoolmistress. I immediately didn’t like her, and I felt compelled to defend Caroline, from what, I didn’t know, or even understand.
In fact the more that I looked upon her, the more she reminded me of some horrible school bully. She looked to be in her mid thirties, had short black hair, and stood about six feet in height. She was certainly well built to the point that I thought she would not have looked out of place in a rugby line up. No, I really did not like her one little bit.
Kim now gave me a slow dark look, then turning to Caroline asked, ‘And who’s your new friend then?’
‘This is Martin, the one I told you about in my dream…’
Kim’s face went red with anger and she now exploded, ‘Oh for pity’s sake, from your dream? From your…dream? How many times have we been through this? How many fucking dreams with fictitious people do we have to go through? Just listen to yourself will you…’
‘But it is him, he has even admitted to me that his name is Martin,’ a very nervous but excited Caroline exclaimed.
Kim looked at us both, shook her head and then replied in a loud voice, ‘Here I am trying to help you, you stupid bitch…but you haven’t even been taking your medication have you? No, no, don’t even try to answer that, because if you had taken it as you are supposed to, then you wouldn’t keep having these bloody ridiculous fantasies.’ She now directed her attention in my direction. ‘And as for you, you should be ashamed of yourself, taking advantage of this poor misguided woman. Martin indeed, Martin my fucking arse, I’ve a good mind to call the police…’
I had had just about enough of this nasty bullying woman. I quickly stood up and took a step towards her so that we were now only inches apart. ‘I don’t know who you are and I really don’t give a shit, but I will not have you talking to Caroline like that. Do you understand me?’
She had clearly not expected my sudden outburst and she now took a step back before answering, ‘But you…’
I did not let her finish as I now cut across her and said in an angry voice, ‘No buts, my advice to you is to walk out of the pub now…otherwise I will drag you out myself. Now get out, now!’
It was evident that she was shaken by what I said and now looked very uncertain. After briefly glancing at Caroline she stormed past me and out of the pub. I could feel myself shaking with anger. I was absolutely furious with her for belittling Caroline in front of me. How dare she talk to my Caroline like that?
I sat back down at the table and looked at Caroline. She had the biggest smile. That cheered me up: it was the first real smile I had seen from her. ‘Jesus Caroline, just who the hell was the wicked witch, a friend of yours?’
She laughed before answering, ‘Thank you Martin. It’s the first time that I’ve seen somebody giving her as good as she gives. That’s twice today that you’ve made me happy. Thank you.’
My meal arrived. ‘Are you having something?’ I asked.
She looked at me and shrugged her shoulders. ‘Well, I hadn’t planned to…’
‘Non
sense, come on I will treat you – I insist, choose yourself something from the menu,’ I answered pushing the menu towards her. The girl that bought my food to the table patiently waited while Caroline chose herself something to eat. She ordered and we agreed that my dish would be taken away and bought back out at the same time that Caroline’s food was ready.
With the waitress now gone I asked Caroline, ‘so, who on earth was the fat bitch then?’
Caroline again rested her hands on mine before saying, ‘Before I do answer you Martin…when I first sat down, you asked me if we had met before’ she paused and looked into my eyes, smiled and continued, ‘but I knew that you knew me, I could see it in your eyes. I can still see it. You also said my name when you shouted at Kim. I never told you my name, but you knew it. You do know me, don’t you Martin?’
Shit, I had tried my best to keep from her that I did know her…of sorts. I had wanted to find out how she knew me first, and now I had gone and complicated it even further. I was now completely confused, how could she know me from her dreams? How was that possible? Who was that nasty piece of work calling herself Kim, and just what medication was she talking about? With Caroline again giving me her lost sad look, I now had to give her some sort of a sensible response.
I returned her smile and held her hands very lightly. ‘I too had a dream a few nights ago Caroline, and that’s how in some strange way I met you, if you can call it that. I didn’t want to say at first, I suppose like you, I have been very confused by it all.’
I was saved from having to say anything further as our food and drinks arrived. After thanking the waitress I suggested that the two of us should eat first, and then talk some more. Caroline agreed and we both tucked into our food. I didn’t know about Caroline, but I did not have much of an appetite as once again my mind was frantically trying to work out just what was going on.
One thing was for sure; the Caroline that is sitting in front of me has a completely different personality and general air about her to the other Caroline that I had known. They really could not have been more different; the other Caroline was very sure of herself, liked expensive clothes and had a lot of fire in her heart. This Caroline seemed very nervous, if not actually shy, and the best way that I could think of categorising her was that she gave the appearance of not having had a good life. There was so much sadness in her face. Still, I could be very wrong. After all I had only just met her.
Now that we had finished our meal, I again wanted to get some answers from her. However, I decided to make some general conversation first. ‘So tell me, are you local to Cornham Hall?’
‘Yes, I have lived here for…oh, too many years! It takes me less than an hour to walk into town; I don’t have a car, so yes I’m pretty much local. And what about you? I don’t recall seeing your face here before, well that is until I saw you in my dream…’
‘No, this is the first time that I have visited your pretty little town. No, I’m definitely not a local, I live about an hour’s drive away in Upper Monkham, it only has one shop, and not much else - I guess that’s why I like it …’
The waitress returned to clear the table and after turning down the offer of coffee, I settled the bill.
‘Thank you for buying me lunch Martin, that’s very kind of you…what shall we do now? I don’t really like sitting in pubs to be honest,’ Caroline paused and again looked into my eyes before saying, ‘If you like, we could both come back to my house for some tea…that’s only if you want.’
Much as I was desperate to find out what was going on, I really wanted to keep Caroline at arm’s length. I could clearly see the potential for an awful lot of unexpected complications that I did not want, or really need. But then again, if I turned down her suggestion, would I ever find out what was going on? Once again I could feel myself falling into some horrible endless pit that would end up just sucking me in, deeper and deeper.
‘Well I hadn’t really planned to…,’ I replied firmly looking at the clock above the bar. ‘I do have quite a few things to be getting on with. Tell you what, my car is just round the corner. Yes okay I’ll take you up on your kind offer, but I really can’t stay for too long.’ My heart sunk as I finished talking. What was I letting myself in for now?
Her face lit up with joy before she replied, ‘I haven’t asked anybody back to my house for so long now, but in a funny kind of way, I feel like I’m asking an old friend round…if you see what I mean?’
I smiled at her before I led us both out into the open and to some welcome fresh air. We walked in silence for a minute or so until we arrived at my car. As I approached the passenger door I turned round to see a very startled and shocked Caroline who had her hands to her face, ‘Oh my God Martin,’ she said shaking her head ‘oh my God, this is your car in my dream. I remember you pointing to the picture in the magazine saying that this was your car.’ She took in a deep breath before saying, ‘It’s all so clear to me, TOL 006, that’s what you said.’ Caroline now walked to the front of the car to have a look at the number plate. Shaking her head again she said. ‘How can this be possible, I don’t understand? What is happening to me?’
I didn’t know what was happening to her, I was just worried about my own sanity. Just when I was beginning to think that it was all coming together and starting to make some sort of sense, this bloody well happens. Was it her that was going mad, or was it me?
‘I really don’t know what is going on either…it’s all very confusing. However, I think it would be better if I drive us back to your place and for us to be confused there, rather than standing like two lost souls in the street, don’t you agree?’
Caroline nodded her agreement, and with her navigating, we set off to her house. As we got closer to the house I could feel my heart starting to pound again. I recognised the street, and now the house. There was no doubting it, this is the very same house in which the other Martin and Caroline had lived, or even still did live. This was getting stranger by the bloody minute, and once again I was starting to feel a little spooked by it all.
Caroline instructed me to park off the road in her driveway. Getting out of the car yet again was another strange and weird experience. I could now feel my mouth very dry as I stepped back to look at my car. There it was, just as the other Martin had seen in his strange vision, the Lotus was sitting on his driveway. My God, was I still in a dream? Was this all real? How could this possibly be? All of my reasoning and logic was just melting away; I simply did not understand anything at all anymore.
It was now the turn of Caroline to looked concerned and puzzled as she asked ‘Martin, are you alright…Martin?’
Her question snapped my confused mind out of wherever it was now wondering, and I now desperately tried to get my bearings again. I looked at her, then back at the car sitting in the driveway before I answered, ‘Am I all right? That’s a bloody good question and to tell you the truth, I honestly don’t know anymore…shall we now go in for that cup of tea you promised?’
I was feeling so shocked and taken aback from what I was now experiencing that I was actually feeling a little dizzy. This was all such a strange feeling, I had never felt dizzy…this was all so damn strange. I followed Caroline into the house. I really had to get off my feet and sit down – and quickly.
As soon as I was through the front door I made straight for the sitting room and immediately sat in one of the chairs. Caroline came in after me saying slightly tongue in cheek, ‘Make yourself at home, why don’t you?’
It was only as she finished talking that I realised what I had done. I was so dizzy and desperate to sit down that I had automatically gone straight through the house as though it was mine. With my head now clearing I looked around and took in my new surroundings. Yes without a doubt, this house was definitely the same as I recalled from before, except that now the furnishings were very different from those I had remembered. It was clear to me that Caroline was not very well off and had little in the way of money; she had already told me that s
he didn’t have a car.
I looked up at her from where I sat and replied, ‘Please forgive me, for a few moments there I had a bit of a dizzy spell and I just had to sit down’ I smiled at her before continuing, ‘As a rule I try not to make a habit of walking into a stranger’s house and just sit down without asking.’
‘That’s all right Martin, I often get a little dizzy myself when I get confused with different visions, so I quite understand. You just sit here, I’ll get us that cup of tea that I promised and anyway, I don’t consider you to be a stranger,’ answered Caroline as she disappeared out of the room.
Visions? I don’t suffer from bloody visions! Dizzy I may have been, but I did not like the way that Caroline was now trying to identify with me simply because I had a bit of a funny turn. Mind you, I had to admit to myself that for a few moments I had felt dreadfully weird, and I was at a complete loss to explain it. As I waited for Caroline to reappear, I was beginning to think that I really should have stayed at home today. I was sure that in some strange way, things were going to get even more confusing and bizarre before the day was out.
Caroline appeared with our tea and some biscuits and placed them in front of us on the little glass coffee table. After thanking her for my drink I said, ‘You never did tell me who Kim was.’
‘No I didn’t - and I will tell you about her, but first I think it best if I tell you a bit about myself. I don’t usually tell other people about myself really…but because…because, well lets just say that as it’s you, I will, if you see what I mean?’ Her nervous stuttering voice trailed off and I could see by her manner that whatever she was about to tell me, was going to be very soul searching indeed. I felt that I was somehow about to intrude, and that I had no right to listen in on her problems. I was convinced that she was about to pour her heart out to me, which I did not want. I was now feeling so uncomfortable with this whole situation that I simply did not want to be here at all.
I must have sat for over two hours listening to this horrible wretched story of Caroline’s life. More often than not she would burst into tears as she was going into all the various details. I would constantly take her hand and tell her that she did not need to tell me anymore, but tell me she did.
Her life was an absolute misery, a living hell. From the age of fourteen Caroline had been getting these very vivid dreams, which, without exception had always involved her in some other life. Sometimes these other lives were similar to her own and these were not really too much of a problem, but then there were the other dreams. It was in these dreams that she would be transported into another life altogether. A life that was so real, that on waking, she became so utterly confused and traumatised, she found that she could no longer lead a normal life. Caroline explained that she could go for months on end without these dreams, and during these calm periods her life would slowly start to fall back into place. Then, like a bolt out of the blue, she would be literally struck down with another one of these vivid dreams - or visions as she often referred to them.
She had lost count of all the other Caroline’s that she had been. When she had been living out these other lives she had had many different personas, which included being a successful businesswoman, being happily married several times, having various children in and out of marriage, all of whom she remembers and misses. I could see the sadness in her eyes when she spoke of the children that she had ‘lost’ and would never see again, more so when she added that she expected to ‘lose’ more children in the future.
Then there were her really dark dreams. Fortunately she did not have too many, but these were nevertheless the most traumatising and the ones that really left their mark on her. She recalls being hooked on drugs and prostituting herself in some horrible big city. She had been in prison on more than one occasion, for what she did not know. The worst dream that she had was when she was in her early twenties, she and her boozy boyfriend had brutally stabbed to death two old ladies in the street, for fun.
With such vivid and ghastly dreams she found it completely impossible to lead a normal life. Throughout the day she would often suffer what she called ‘flash visions,’ where she would, just for a moment, remember a part of one her many visions. Consequently from the age of fourteen her life had very rapidly fallen apart. She was once one of the school’s brightest stars with a good and happy future ahead of her and, university beckoning as the next step. However that life was not to be, her schoolwork disintegrated, she lost all of her friends as she now became the school weirdo, and her family no longer knew or understood her. She did try her best with various forms of employment, but these, just like the rest of her life came to nothing and fell apart. Unable to cope, having no money, and worst of all in her eyes, having little or no support from her family, she suffered a complete breakdown and entered an institution at the relatively young age of twenty one.
Throughout her twenties she had been in and out of two institutions, but nobody there was able to understand or to really help her. The experts suspected that she was suffering from some sort of psychosis, some thought she was merely attention seeking, but in the end she found the best way to cope with it all was to tell nobody what was happening and to live her life as best as she could.
Caroline had, by her standards, a relatively calm period for nearly five years until only a couple of years ago, and it was during this period that her life improved dramatically. For the first time in her life she managed to hold down a job working part time in one of the local shops. She also began to socialise a little, and became slightly closer to her family. However, her newfound peace was shattered when she once again started to get very vivid dreams, accompanied by her ‘flash visions.’ Almost overnight she had to give up work and again became very reclusive, not venturing out of the house unless it was absolute necessary.
She had been getting these visions for around three months when unexpectedly she was contacted by the Gautier Association. It was their claim that dreams and strange visions were their specialised field of work, and that they would endeavour to help Caroline to find out what was going on with her. Out of desperation she jumped at this offer of help, and she agreed to stay for a couple of months in their clinic. However, she found the clinic to be no different from the previous institutions that she had been in, and she did not like her time there at all. The only difference was that she did get to meet two other ‘inmates’ as they called themselves, who like her, suffered in the very same way.
Caroline had felt very relieved when she finally did get to leave her new prison, the clinic. She could not really say why, but she had the strange feeling that the clinic had some sort of a hidden agenda, and that there was something sinister going on. She was soon to find out that the Gautier Association was indeed very sinister and pretty scary. She had barely been out of the clinic a month when, inexplicably, a court order was served giving the clinic effective control of her life. She was now instructed as to what time would be spent in the Gautier clinic and what time she would be allowed at home on supervised medication. This is where I now learned the part that Kim played in this very sorry tale.
Kim had been assigned to help and look after Caroline as well as a few of the other ‘guests.’ That was a good one, calling what were effectively prisoners, guests. From what Caroline was telling me these various different clinic helpers were nothing more than vicious bully boys or women, who seemed to relish nothing more than to put the guests down at every given opportunity.
The degree of control over the ‘guests’ was incredible. When one of the female guests returned home, she had decided not to take the prescribed medication given to her; she was then very badly beaten by her helper on a home visit. A neighbour called the police and six weeks later the incredulous outcome was that the court order was reinforced, giving the Gautier Association even more control over her. After the occurrence of this incident, all the shocked and frightened ‘guests’ very quickly became completely subservient to their new masters. When they are now told to
take the medication, they all take it without question, even though they are not told what the drugs are or what they do. The only thing the guests know is that they are given the red pills, the green pills, or sometimes the yellow pills.
I was absolutely astounded by what I was hearing. This was a pure hell and this was all supposedly legal and enforced by the court? What court, and under what bloody law? How could an individual be ordered to have to go into some private clinic like this? I had never heard of such a thing - this was definitely not right at all. I thought I was living in a democracy, however this was more like something from a Stalinist regime or even more like 1984 - ‘Big Brother is watching you’…room 101, the room for all your worst nightmares - just as Alistair had said to me. Except it was not me that was in the room, somehow Caroline had gone in and somebody had locked the door behind her.
To this day she still cannot understand how the Gautier Association had found her and how they are able to wield such power, enforceable and backed up by the courts, effectively giving them control of her whole life.
‘You wanted to know who Kim was, well now you know. Earlier you called her a fat bitch, if only you knew the half of it...’ Her voice trailed off before she continued, ‘As you know I don’t have any real friends…my family don’t give a shit about me. In their eyes, I’m just the family problem to be ignored and hopefully I will just go away. So thank you for listening to my life story. I’m glad I have been able to tell it to someone that for once is neither a stupid doctor, nor one of those idiot psychiatrists who don’t understand my condition at all. I know that you are not my friend Martin, but it felt like I was in some way talking to a long lost friend…if you see what I mean?’
‘Bloody hell Caroline, I really do not know what to say, I really don’t.’ After a brief silence, she went out to make some more tea.
As she was in the kitchen it suddenly struck me that in spite of everything she said, I had yet to find out about me, or rather the other Martin, in her dream, or vision as she referred to them. Vision, yes I had to agree with her, the word vision described these experiences far better than calling them dreams. Now that I thought about it, her experiences and mine were not dreams at all; they were all in some way visions, like a window into another world.
I glanced at clock on the wall; it was now half past four and yet again it was turning out to be another unbelievable and incredible day. Our second round of tea and biscuits now arrived. I could see that Caroline was still a little disturbed from her recounting her life story. Who could blame her? Her life was more akin to a strange science fiction story rather than real life. Do I believe her? I think I probably do, but first I wanted to hear how my story fitted in with her dream, then I would decide.
Caroline needed little prompting to begin retelling me her vision involving me. In fact I could see that she was for the most part actually enjoying telling the story and, she often had a smile and a sparkle in her eyes. I sat listening to her, completely transfixed, everything that I remembered that had included Caroline as my wife was retold exactly as it had happened. It was the very same, in every detail. There was no doubting it now: we had shared the same vision.
I was once again stunned and did not know what to make of it all. I knew how I had come by my vision, that much I could get my head around, after a fashion. But, for Caroline to be doing the very same thing, having visions of other dimensions, involuntary and on a regular basis, how could that be explained? Did she know that her visions were from other dimensions? I so much wanted to tell her, but I couldn’t. I was understandably sworn to secrecy, so I could only tell her my vision in such a way that left out the project altogether. So that’s just what I did, telling her my tale in the same manner that she had told me hers, the only difference was that I told her that I had fallen asleep in my chair at home in the afternoon.
I could see the astonishment in her face as I recalled the very same details as she had in her tale. When I finished, she was slowly shaking her head and a tear slowly rolled down her cheek, ‘All this time Martin, all this time, they all thought, everybody thought I was mad. Take this drug, take that drug, go into this home, do this, do that. Nobody believed me, nobody understood, not even me. I didn’t know what was going on, and now, for the first time, I know that my visions were all real. They all really happened. You don’t know how that makes me feel, it’s like a veil has been lifted from me…do you know what I mean?’
I leaned over to her and gently took her hand. ‘Caroline, I don’t pretend to know or to understand what has been happening to you, or what really happened to me for that matter, but yes, I think I do understand why you should be much happier knowing that it is not you that is mad.’ I paused and chuckled a little before I added ‘I think in some strange way you have a very unique gift and one that the so-called experts do not understand. You beat them all! Don’t you see, those experts, they’re all thick as shit!’
Caroline returned a small chuckle before saying, ‘you make me laugh, you know that? It’s just a shame that if it is indeed a gift I have, it’s not one that I can return!’ she then laughed out loud for a few moments before saying, ‘Talking of gifts, I keep thinking of what the other Caroline will think when she gets her rafting weekend! I have hated water since early childhood, if the other Caroline is the same…’ she trailed off as she once again burst into laughter, and I now joined in.
I could see the time on the wall clock; it was gone half past five. ‘I should really be making tracks Caroline, I don’t know where the afternoon has gone…’
‘Why not stay for dinner?’
I felt that I could have stayed here with Caroline for days, there was so much to talk about, but there was something inside me that was telling me that I should not get involved any further than I already had. ‘I would love to stay a little longer but I do have quite a bit that I should be getting on with…’
‘Of course, I understand. You will have another cup of tea before you leave won’t you?’
‘How could I refuse? Just so long as the biscuits come back out! Tell you what, I will join you in the kitchen, my legs are going numb from sitting so long.’
As we waited for the tea to be ready we stood and made idle chit chat, the first time we had done so since we had met. I realised that even though Caroline was not a very confident person she nevertheless was quite a chatty soul once she got started.
Sitting together on the sofa I asked, ‘So tell me, now that I am back into your life, from a vision you had a few days ago, did you miss me?’
I could see her thinking for a moment or two before replying, ‘Yes, I suppose I did miss you. After all, we were married! That’s why my life is constantly being turned upside down.’ She paused and looked directly at me before continuing, ‘Martin, you may think this a strange question…but since you had a vision, as I often do…have you ever seen one of those…what I call a ‘shadow person’?’
My heart was starting to race again as I knew immediately what she was talking about. This was getting stranger and stranger and I was now uncertain how I should answer her. ‘A shadow person Caroline?’
She looked directly at me and did not answer straight away. ‘I know we only met a few hours ago, but I already know you well enough to know that when I asked the question…I could see it in your face…you have, haven’t you? You do know what I am talking about, don’t you?’
‘I think so, the day before I had the vision I saw something…I don’t know what it was, but I suppose your ‘shadow person’ description is pretty close. I only saw it out of the corner of my eye and when I turned to look at it, it had gone like it was never there. Is that what you are talking about?’
‘I have been seeing these shadow people ever since I was fourteen when I began to get these visions. I am sure that there is somehow a connection. Do you remember I told you that I met a couple of other people in the Gautier clinic that suffered from similar visions?’
‘Yes, I do.’
�
��Well they too keep seeing these shadow people, just like you. Of course, nobody ever believes us; it’s all in our imagination. Martin, you know you joked about me having this gift, well I really hope for your sake that you don’t have it as well. I do hope and pray that what you experienced was a one off. You don’t want to end up like me, no job, no friends, no money and a prisoner of that god awful Gautier clinic.’
I finished my tea, and placing my cup on the table in front of me I replied, ‘Constant visions of other lives, strange shadow people, ghastly clinics - no it’s not something that I would wish for Caroline.’ I again took her hand and held it gently. ‘I really must be going.’
‘I know, but before you do go, I would like you to be honest with me. Will I see you again, or are you to disappear from my life, as you don’t want the complications of my strange lifestyle? That’s what most people do. I would rather you be honest with me now. If we are never to see each other again, I would understand.’
‘I am not looking for a relationship Caroline and yes you do have a hell of strange life that is full of complications, but I don’t see why we cannot see each other again. Tell you what, before I leave we’ll exchange addresses and phone numbers and I’m more than happy for you to call me anytime. I’m not just saying that, I do mean it.’
‘Don’t worry, I’m not after a relationship either, but I’m glad if we can just be friends. It’s nice to know that I have somebody to talk to. Goodness it’s getting late. You had best be on your way I suppose.’
We both stood up and walked to the front door. ‘Now remember, if that Kim gives you any grief Caroline, you’ve got my number…and I’ve got my baseball bat!’ We shared a laugh together, and then we gave each other a long hug as we said our goodbyes. I could see that she had tears in her eyes as I went through the door and headed for my car.
My drive home took just over the hour and it was now just gone eight. It had been a strange drive. My mind was not on the drive at all, but on everything Caroline had told me. I was filled with amazement as well as anger. I felt so angry at what was happening to Caroline. Surely there was something that could be done. Was there something that I could do?
I was totally shattered; today had been so tiring I simply had no energy to do anything with the rest of my evening. I would have another healthy evening with my trusty pizza and a beer. As I tucked into my food I was going through today’s events in my mind. Could my life possibly become any more confusing than it was already? Today was supposed to bring me answers and yet it had only managed to add to the confusion. I had had enough, I would turn in early and hopefully tomorrow would be a better day, after all things could surely no get worse for me. Could they?
Martin Page 11