“Fine, Belle,” he said with a shrug. “But you know where to find me when you stop lying to yourself.”
With that, he turned around and retreated behind his bedroom door. He closed it softly, but it reverberated like a bang in my head.
My eyes stayed locked on the last place I’d seen him as my hands continued to shake. A battle of epic proportions was waging inside me and at that moment, I had no idea which side would come out on top.
I knew what I wanted, but I also knew what I could and couldn’t have. I knew the rules I’d set for myself long ago. I also knew I’d never wanted to break them before like I did right then.
Chapter 25
Belle
I stood there in the kitchen, staring at Remy’s door. My knees locked in place, my whole body trembling with indecision. It was then I decided it was time to be honest with myself if nobody else.
I wanted Remy.
I wanted him to touch me like he said I did. It was something I’d been fighting for weeks and I was exhausted from the struggle. Getting to know him and becoming his friend had done nothing to douse the flames of my desire. If anything, I wanted him more.
But my rules were in place for a reason. Just because I could admit I wanted someone more than the one time I allowed myself didn’t mean I needed to give in. It didn’t mean I had to act on it. Because I had this dread curling in my stomach that told me one more night with him wouldn’t be enough. That it wouldn’t quench this thirst. That it would do nothing but make me want more.
And I couldn’t afford that.
I couldn’t afford to lose myself to someone like that. To let my happiness fall on their shoulders. I needed to be independent. Strong.
Unlike my mother.
I shook my head to rid myself of thoughts of her. I refused to be anything like her, ever.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, but the lingering scent of Remy’s cologne did nothing to calm my racing heart. It only fanned the flames and made my hands sweat.
Glancing at his door again, I felt this undeniable pull. This force drawing me toward it. This desire to peek behind the curtain. To find out what was there.
Maybe I could do it. Maybe I was strong enough to just spend one more night with him. Maybe I could have my fun, get my fill, and then move on like I’d planned to this whole time.
Even as the words crossed my mind, I knew they weren’t truthful. Knew that one more night wouldn’t be enough with Remy. Knew that it wasn’t just his body or the sex I was after.
Since I was being honest with myself, I could admit that I was attracted to so much more than what he could offer me in the bedroom. That I’d never met anyone as selfless as him. That I’d never connected to another person like I had with Remy. That every molecule in my body was begging me to give in to what I knew I wanted.
I just didn’t know if I was strong enough.
And I couldn’t afford to find out the hard way. I refused to end up like my mother. To almost throw my life away because of a man. To forsake everything and everyone for a love lost.
That would never be me.
With a firm nod, I turned away from Remy’s door and headed toward mine. But every step was harder to take than the last. Every inch I moved away from him felt like a mile. Every single instinct I had told me to turn around. To go back. To go to him.
I stopped short and closed my eyes again, taking deep steady breaths with the hope it would calm my mind. That it would help me think straighter. But I knew nothing could do that right then.
I glanced over my shoulder at his door once more. My fingers tingled with the need to reach for the knob. My feet itched with the desire to walk through that doorway. My whole body burned with the yearning to do the one thing he’d ask me to do.
Ask me.
That was all he wanted. For me to ask him to touch me. Could I do it? Could I give in to that simple request? And the most important question of all: if I did, what would it cost me?
I stood there for a long moment, shifting my weight from foot to foot as my hands fisted at my sides and my heart raced in my chest. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed this to end. I needed this fire burning in my chest to be doused with whatever would put it out.
I closed my eyes again and only opened them once I’d taken the first step. It was the hardest and the slowest, but after that, they got faster, carrying me toward my destination in a few short seconds.
Without thinking of the consequences, without worrying about tomorrow, I grasped the doorknob to Remy’s room and opened it with a twist.
It was pitch dark and the only thing I could hear were my rapid breaths. I stepped inside and closed the door behind me, trying to orientate myself to the dark space. A few seconds later, my vision adapted to the lack of light and I could see his bedframe on the other side of the room.
There was a beam of moonlight that fell over the center of his bed, illuminating Remy and stopping my heart.
He was splayed out on top of his sheets, his chest bare and his eyes pinned to me. My gaze traveled down his toned chest and muscular arms. I reached his waist and found one of his hands wrapped around his hard dick.
My mouth went dry as my eyes widened at the sight. As I watched, his big hand moved slowly up and down his long shaft. My presence didn’t seem to affect him at all as he continued to stroke and tug at himself.
“Enjoying the show?”
My eyes snapped to his, and I swallowed harshly. His eyes were black in the dark room, his lips twisted to the side. Without my permission, my gaze slinked to where his hand was still pleasuring himself. I was mesmerized by his slow, steady movements, captivated by his boldness.
“Take off your shirt.”
My eyes darted to his again and my heart beat faster in my chest.
This was it.
If I did what he asked there’d be no turning back. There’d be no taking this back.
But I’d made that decision before I ever walked in here.
I reached for the hem of my tank top and pulled it over my head before dropping it to the floor. He nodded as he continued to rub himself.
“Now your bra.”
I didn’t hesitate this time. Reaching behind me, I unhooked it and slid the straps off my shoulders, letting it fall where my top had.
Even from across the room, I could feel his eyes on me. Feel his hungry gaze eat me up inch by inch.
“Lose the pants.”
My heart jumped into my throat as I did what he asked. I tucked my fingertips under the waistband and slid the sweats down my legs, kicking them to the side when I was done.
I stood there in nothing but a tiny pair of panties and waited for whatever he wanted next.
He was silent for a long minute, his eyes skimming the length of my body as his hand continued to work. Finally, he jerked his chin toward me and said, “Come here.”
I took a deep breath and crossed the space between us cautiously, as if I were approaching a wild animal. As I drew closer, he pulled his hand away from his shaft but left himself exposed as he rose to his knees. I kept walking until I was just a few feet away from him at the side of the bed.
He crawled closer until I could feel the heat of his body. Until I could smell his crisp cologne that drove me crazy. He leaned in until the light hair on his chest rubbed against my hard nipples.
“Ask me,” he said, his voice rumbling against my skin.
I shivered and closed my eyes, swaying toward him before catching myself. When I opened my eyes, his gaze was glued to mine, his expression expectant but still hesitant. Like he wasn’t actually sure how far I was willing to take this.
But Belle Garcia never backed down.
“Touch me,” I whispered.
His lips curled into a crooked grin before he wrapped an arm around my waist and tugged me onto the mattress. My back hit the cool sheets as he hovered over me, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
“Are you sure?” he asked, his voice strained.
I nodded. “Touch me. Please.”
He smiled again before his lips crashed against mine and his hands found my waist. Remy kissed me like he’d been waiting years to do this. His lips were fervent as his tongue swiped against mine and his teeth bit my lower lip. I moaned into his mouth as his hands traveled up my torso to cup my breasts.
He pulled away from my lips and layered kisses along my jaw until he made it to my neck. Finding that spot like it’d been put on my body just for him, Remy sucked at a patch of skin right above my shoulder and my back arched, pressing my breasts harder into his hands.
“Fuck,” he groaned against my heated skin. “You taste even better than I remembered.”
Needing to do something with my own hands, I grasped the tops of his shoulders and let my fingers explore the dips and grooves of his muscular back, his sculpted arms, and his chiseled chest. His skin was smooth and so warm as I reached for every available inch I could get to.
He kissed a path down my neck and chest until he was hovering over one of my hardened nipples. He grazed his whiskered chin over the peak, and I gasped at the rough sensation. Chuckling, he pulled it into his mouth and sucked hard.
“Holy shit, Remy.”
He pulled his mouth off me with a pop. “Yes, beautiful?”
I dug my fingers into his hair and tugged him back toward my chest. “No. Don’t stop.”
He laughed again, his breath blowing against my damp skin and making me twitch. He resumed his work on my chest, licking and sucking and grazing my sensitive nipples with his facial hair until it felt like I could come from that alone.
At some point, I’d wrapped my legs around his waist, his thick thigh finding its way to my apex. I ground against him as he pushed into me and that combined with his mouth on my breasts was almost more than I could bear.
He pulled far enough away that he could catch my eyes. One of his hands reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear as he looked at me. “You know what I always regretted about that night?”
“No,” I panted.
His hands trailed the length of my body, touching and caressing the whole way down. When he reached the waistband of my panties, he slipped one hand inside and cupped my mound. I moaned softly as his fingers tightened on me.
“I always regretted that I didn’t get to taste all of you.”
My belly clenched in anticipation.
“You know I woke up the next morning wanting you again, but you were already gone. Church, right?” He chuckled.
I laughed too, the sound breathy as I tried to follow along with what he was saying but kept getting sidetracked by his fingers that had slipped between my folds.
“I had so much more I wanted to do with you, but you left before I got the chance.”
“I’m sorry.”
Because I was so desperately sorry.
Sorry for lying to him.
Sorry for leaving him like that.
But most of all, right then, I was sorry for myself. That I’d missed out on all this with Remy. What a fucking idiot I’d been.
He leaned over and kissed my lips softly. “It’s okay. You’re here now.”
My mouth tingled with the aftermath of that kiss. Somehow, it felt more intimate than his hand in my panties.
He scooted further down the bed and used both hands to tug my underwear off, leaving me completely bare before him. His eyes raked across my skin, setting fire to every inch as I lay there writhing under his gaze.
“You’re fucking stunning, Belle.”
My heart thumped extra hard, my hands fisting the sheets beneath me.
He reached out to spread my thighs, opening me to him. His gaze stayed locked with mine for a long moment before they finally fell to the space between my legs. His chest rose with a deep inhale before he leaned over and placed a kiss on my mound.
“Are you ready, beautiful?”
I nodded quickly. “Uh huh.”
He chuckled and slid his hands under my ass before dragging my core toward his mouth. With the first sweep of his tongue, my eyes rolled back in my head and my back arched. He didn’t stop there though. He continued to assault my sensitive flesh with his mouth, sucking and licking and nipping at my clit before burying his tongue inside me and moaning against my center.
“Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit,” I chanted under my breath.
Finally, he pulled away, but not before slipping two thick fingers deep inside me. “You gonna come?”
“Yes. Yes,” I breathed as my orgasm galloped at full speed toward me.
“Good. I want to taste you.”
With that, he dove back between my legs, and seconds later, I detonated. My legs bent, my toes curled, and my fingers dug at the sheets beneath me as the most powerful orgasm I’d ever had ripped through my entire body.
But he didn’t stop.
Remy kept licking and sucking, prolonging my pleasure, making me come longer than I ever had in my entire life. Blinding lights lit up behind my eyelids as my body spasmed uncontrollably. Finally, he slowed down until he was gently lapping at me and I could finally breathe again. When he pulled away, there was a smug smile on his face that he’d earned every inch of.
“That good?”
My chest was still rising and falling like I’d just finished a marathon and I wasn’t sure I could form words at that moment, so I just squeaked, “Uh huh.”
He laughed again and placed one more kiss on my mound before he crawled up my body. Remy slid his shorts off and reached in his nightstand drawer for a foil package before sheathing his hard length.
I watched behind heavy-lidded eyes, my body nowhere near done with him.
He grasped both my thighs and hitched them up around his hips. Aligning himself with my center, he glanced up at me. “You ready for me, beautiful?”
I nodded fast. “So ready.”
His smile was wide before he glanced back down and slowly pressed himself into me.
My mouth popped open and my back arched as he filled me inch by inch. Remy stretched me in the most delicious way as I reached my hands above my head and grabbed his headboard.
When he was all the way in, he looked back up at me. “You good?”
I sighed. “So fucking good.”
He chuckled and pulled out slowly before pushing back in. His hands clutched my thighs harder as he built up a steady rhythm, his hips pumping faster.
I let go of the headboard and reached out to touch him. I needed to. My fingers itched to caress the muscles bunching beneath his smooth skin. To feel the strength and power that emanated from every one of his pores.
“Fuck, Belle. You feel so good. So much better than I remembered.”
I nodded. “You too, Rem. It’s so good.”
He picked up his pace, his fingers digging into my skin for a moment before he leaned forward and placed both hands on either side of my body. He was closer now, and I took that opportunity to run my fingers through his dark hair, to tug on the strands as he raced me toward another orgasm.
“You know how many times I’ve thought about this,” he said, his voice deep and punctuated by his hips slamming into me. “How long I’ve wanted you?”
I shook my head, and he dipped his mouth to tug at one of my nipples.
“Years, beautiful. I’ve wanted you for years.”
My heart leapt at his confession, but my mind couldn’t fully comprehend what he was saying. Couldn’t make sense of his words, not with the way he was working my body right then.
“When I finally got my chance, I thought I’d get my fill then, but it wasn’t enough. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough,” he murmured against my skin.
My belly twisted deep inside me as my orgasm raced forward and my mind spun at his words.
“Remy,” I began, “I don’t–”
He pressed his mouth against mine and I tasted myself on his lips. “Not now. Just let me make you feel good right now.”
He reached underneath and cupped
my ass, pulling me closer and reaching new depths at that angle. I grasped his shoulders, my nails raking across his skin as my belly tightened with another impending orgasm.
He leaned over me again and captured my lips with his, kissing me ferociously as his body tightened above mine. “Are you close, beautiful?” he mumbled against my mouth.
I nodded quickly and pulled at his shoulders, drawing him closer.
“Good. I wanna feel you come all over me. Are you ready?” I nodded again, and he thrusted faster, his pace brutal as he pulled my body tighter against his. “Now, Belle.”
And just like I’d been preprogrammed, my orgasm washed over me at his command. My nails dug into his back as I clutched at his slick body. It seemed to go on and on as I spasmed around him, losing track of time and space as the pleasure engulfed me.
Even in my hazy state, I felt him grow still and groan above me as he found his own release, calling out my name. He held us in place for a long time as we both came back down. I was still fighting to catch my breath when he slid out of me and crawled off the bed.
My eyes drifted closed as my sated body grew tired. What felt like hours later but was probably only minutes, Remy slid his hands beneath my form and lifted me off the bed. Moments later, he set me back down and pulled the covers over my shoulders. The mattress dipped behind me before his strong arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me against his chest.
There was a small voice in the back of my head that warned I was entering dangerous territory, but it was so soft I could barely hear it. Besides, I wasn’t listening right then.
Remy pressed a kiss to the back of my head with a sigh, and that was the last thing I knew before darkness descended and I fell asleep in his arms.
Chapter 26
Belle
When my eyes opened next, it was to a dark room that I immediately knew wasn’t mine. The events of the night before slowly trickled into my brain as I lay there enveloped in Remy’s strong arms. Despite my hesitancy to be intimate with him again, I found I had zero regrets.
I was glad I’d finally given in to what we obviously both wanted. Glad I’d spent another night with Remy. Glad to have connected with him on that level again.
Beyond Beautiful (Love in Providence Book 2) Page 22