“I’m sorry, Belle. I should have been here. I shouldn’t have avoided you for so long.”
She reached out and cupped my face. “No, Remy. This was not your fault. I made the choice to ignore my instincts and go out with him. I could have called you as easily as you could have called me. This had absolutely nothing to do with you.”
I heard her words, and I tried to get them to penetrate the guilt that was engulfing me, but it didn’t help much. The truth was this could have been avoided if I hadn’t stayed at Gramps so long. It was something I didn’t know if I could forgive myself for.
“I mean it, Remy. Don’t do that. Don’t take the blame here because it’s not yours.”
I looked into her honey-colored eyes and sighed. “I’ll try.”
Her lips lifted into a small smile before she retracted her hand and folded her fingers together between us.
“Tell me what happened next.”
She looked down at her hands as she spoke. “All he did was talk about himself the whole time. I was bored out of my mind and just waiting until I felt like going home to ditch him. But then he started talking shit about you and I got mad.”
My shoulders tensed. “What did he have to say about me?”
She shrugged. “Just called you a douche bag and said he thought we were dating and was glad we weren’t because he was in line first.”
My hands fisted as my blood boiled. She wasn’t a fucking ride at a carnival. There was no line to get with her. The more I heard about this asshole, the more I wanted to smash his fucking face in.
“Then what?” I choked out, anger still bubbling inside me.
“I told him he’d never be half the man you are and that when I got to work tomorrow, I was going to call his boss and get him reassigned.”
The rage inside me lifted the smallest bit at hearing she’d stood up for me. Not that I needed her to, and if that was what led to him assaulting her, I’d feel even worse, but it felt nice to know she thought so highly of me.
“You left after that?”
She nodded. “I ordered an Uber, but they cancelled on me a couple minutes later and before I could order another one, he grabbed me and pulled me into the alley next to the bar.”
My knuckles strained with how hard I was fisting my hands, but I kept perfectly still as she relayed the rest of her story. While she told me how he threatened her and bruised her neck in a chokehold. How he ripped open her shirt. How he thought he could take what wasn’t his and wasn’t freely given to him.
I’d never been angrier in my life. Never wanted to hurt another human being like I did in that moment. Never thought I was capable of the kind of violence that ran through my head as she told me the rest of her story. With the way I felt right now, he wouldn’t be breathing for much longer if he was within reaching distance.
But then she told me the rest of what happened. How she fought him off. How my beautifully scrappy Belle hit and kicked until she got free and ran to safety. The rage swirled with pride inside me until I didn’t know what I felt more of.
Suddenly, it was too much for me to take. Too much for me to hear while sitting still. I reached out and pulled her into my arms, burying my face in the crook of her neck and breathing her in. Her sweet vanilla scent calmed my frayed nerves as I reveled in the fact that she was here. She was okay. Despite what she went through a few hours ago, she was still whole.
“I’m so glad you’re okay, Belle.” I pulled away so I could look in her eyes. I pushed some hair out of her face and cupped the back of her head. “I’m so proud of you for getting away from him like that. For fighting that hard. I know you must have been so scared. You’re so brave.”
Her eyes softened as she looked at me, her pink lips curling into a smile. “I’m Belle fucking Garcia. Did you expect any less?”
I laughed loudly as I pulled her against my chest again. “No, I really didn’t.”
I held her for a long time after that, reminding myself that I didn’t need to leave and hunt down that son of a bitch. What I needed to do was take care of Belle.
And what she needed to do was report that asshole.
“Belle, we need to go to the police.”
She sighed, her breath blowing softly against my neck. “I know.”
“I’ll come with you if you want.”
She pulled away and met my eyes again. “Really?”
“Of course. I won’t leave your side, I promise.”
She smiled, and the sight was so stunning it made my heart pound. “Okay. We can go tomorrow morning if that’s okay.”
“The sooner the better.”
She nodded once as her finger gently traced the tattoos on my arm. “You know, I’ve always wanted to ask you about these.”
“Why haven’t you?”
She looked back up, one of her brows cocked. “Usually when your shirt is off, I’m focused on more important things.”
And just like that, my dick was hard.
I cleared my throat. “You wanna hear about ‘em?”
“Yeah. I do.”
I rolled up my sleeve, so all my tattoos were on display before pointing to the bird closest to my wrist. “This is a hummingbird I got for Ryder.”
She smiled and traced the small, colorful bird. “Why a hummingbird?”
“A couple reasons. One, they’re a symbol of strength, of rising above trouble and hardship and surpassing it all. They’re the smallest birds and spend their whole lives fighting to survive. It signifies someone who’s been through a lot like Ryder has. And lastly, the color of their feathers change, just like Ryder’s have over the years. I thought it was the best representation of him and everything he’s endured.”
She smiled again. “I think you’re right.” Next, she moved to the two birds intertwined on the middle of my forearm. “And these? Are they blue jays?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I got a pair of them for my parents. They’re symbols of happiness in a lot of cultures and they’re some of the only birds that mate for life.” I smiled, but it was bittersweet. “My parents always said the moment they met, they knew they were going to be together forever. I thought they should be memorialized on my arm that way.”
“That’s really sweet, Rem.”
I shrugged and twisted my arm so she could see the last bird tattooed on the top of my bicep. “This one’s for Gramps. It’s a barn owl. They symbolize wisdom and are solitary animals until they mate, and when they do, it’s for life. If they lose that mate, they’ll mourn them, just like Gramps has mourned Grams for over two decades. Unlike barn owls though, Gramps never found another mate after Grams.”
“That’s so sad.”
“It is.”
The rest of my arm was covered in twigs and leaves and branches that filled the empty spaces between the larger tattoos. All except one spot. Belle reached out and touched the inside of my bicep where I’d purposely left an expanse of blank skin.
“What about this? Why don’t you have anything here?”
“I’ve been waiting for someone special to fill that spot. That one will be for my mate. The woman I’ll be with for the rest of my life. I saved the space closest to my heart just for her.”
Belle sniffled, her wide eyes meeting mine in the dark room. “You’re really something else, Remy MacAlister.”
I shrugged. “I’m not that special.”
She shook her head and looked down. “You are, though. You’re the most incredible man I’ve ever met. The more I get to know you, the more I find to like. It feels endless.”
My heart pounded in my chest as I watched her fidget on the bed next to me. I didn’t know what came next, but I had a feeling it was something big. Something that made her uncomfortable or she wouldn’t have been squirming like that.
Finally, she let out a deep breath and met my eyes again. “I’ve done a lot of lying, Remy. To you, to myself, to anyone who’d listen. I’ve said over and over that what was between us was superficial. Temporary. Just for fun. Bu
t that’s not the truth at all. I guess it was at the very beginning, but it hasn’t been like that for a really long time and I just wasn’t willing to accept that fact.”
She pressed her lips together and threaded her fingers through mine. “The truth is, I’m fucking terrified. I’ve never been this scared in my life and that’s all because of you. Because of the way you treat me and the way you make me feel. It’s the most real thing I’ve ever experienced, and I was in no way prepared for that.” She chuckled softly. “How could I have prepared for what’s happened with you? How could I have anticipated what’s happened to me because of you?”
Belle squeezed my hand in hers, but I could barely feel it. It was like my whole body had gone numb as I listened to her.
“Even though I’m more afraid than I’ve ever been, I’m also the happiest I’ve ever been, and that’s because of you too. You make me smile when I’m sad, and laugh when I’m angry, and feel strong when I’ve never felt weaker. You’re everything I want to be, but I know I’ll never even come close. I can’t believe someone like you could ever love someone like me, but you do, and I’ve never been luckier in my life.”
A single tear streaked down her face and I caught it with our still-joined hands.
“I lied when I said I couldn’t love you, because I already did. I think I have for a long time and I just didn’t know what it was. I didn’t know what to do with it.” She let loose a watery laugh. “If I’m being honest, I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing but I’m hoping you can help me. That I can figure out this love stuff with you because I’ve never wanted something as bad as I want to love you right.”
My heart stopped, the blood freezing in my veins as I tried to process her words. Tried to make sense of what she’d just said to me. Because there was no fucking way Belle Garcia just told me she loved me too. I wasn’t that lucky.
“What did you just say?” I asked softly, my voice barely above a whisper because I couldn’t get my lungs to cooperate.
She reached out and cupped my face with her free hand and smiled so sweetly, my heart started beating again harder than ever. “I said I love you, Remy. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
All at once, my body started working again, and I wrapped my arms around her waist and tugged until there was no space left between us. I kissed her like it was my last chance. Like my life depended on the feel of her lips because, in that moment, it felt like it really did.
When I pulled away, we were both breathless and my smile had to be as big as hers.
“You really love me?” I asked, still not believing I’d heard her right.
She rolled her eyes. “How could anyone know you and not love you, Remy? Of course I love you.”
I pressed my mouth against hers again in a desperate kiss that lasted twice as long as the last one. If I had my way, I’d never stop kissing her. Never stop touching her. Never stop holding her just like this. Because I’d never experienced a more perfect moment in my life and if I could live in it forever, I’d die a happy man.
Chapter 41
Remy
Sunlight streaming through the blinds woke me up, and I realized it was coming from a different angle than I was used to. I blinked a few times and looked around at the unfamiliar room. Slowly, the events of the day before trickled into my half-asleep brain and I remembered where I was and why.
I’d spent the night with Belle for the first time ever. I’d spent the night in her room with her. That felt momentous but paled in comparison to what we’d talked about last night.
Belle had said she loved me. The woman who had sworn off relationships since she was a little girl, the woman who insisted there was nothing serious between us was in love with me. I felt like I could climb Everest or swim across the fucking Atlantic Ocean.
After her confession, we’d lay awake for hours, talking and kissing and touching until we’d finally both fallen asleep. It was the most intimate night I’d ever spent with someone and sex had nothing to do with it. For some reason, it felt even more personal. Even deeper than if we had slept together.
I rolled over, the smell of vanilla all around me, and reached out for her, but the bed was empty. I sat up and looked around, but Belle wasn’t in here with me.
My stomach dropped as the possibilities streamed through my head.
Had she changed her mind?
Did she regret what she’d said?
Was she running again?
Because I was bone tired of chasing after her, but I didn’t think I had a choice at this point. I didn’t think my heart could just let her go.
The bedroom door creaked open, and I turned to find Belle standing there, still wearing only a baggy t-shirt with a hesitant smile on her face.
“You’re up.”
I swallowed. “Yeah. So are you.”
She crossed the room to stand at the side of the bed. “I woke up before you for a change.”
I searched her face for the hesitancy or remorse I was expecting to see but couldn’t find a trace of it. So, then why’d she leave me to wake up alone?
I couldn’t stand the questions twisting through my head and finally had to voice one of them. “Is everything okay between us? A lot of things changed last night, and I need to know if you regret any of that.” The words were hard to push past my lips, but I needed to know. Needed to figure out what I was dealing with, so I knew how to react.
She frowned and took a tentative seat on the edge of the mattress. “Of course I don’t regret it. Why would you think that?”
I quirked a brow in her direction. “You’re kinda known for being flighty, Garcia.”
Her cheeks darkened as she looked away for a moment. When she met my eyes again, there wasn’t an ounce of hesitancy in them. “I know that, Rem, and I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I meant everything I said last night and I’m not taking it back. I might not know what the hell I’m doing most of the time, but I know I love you.” She shrugged. “The rest we can figure out along the way.”
My stomach flipped deep inside me at hearing her say those words again, but I still had questions. “So, why weren’t you here when I woke up?”
Her lips quirked to the side with a sly smile as she crawled across the bed and straddled my waist. My hands instantly wrapped around her bare thighs as I looked at her beautiful face hovering above me.
“Remember that time you said I could make us breakfast if I woke up before you one Sunday?”
My lips curled into a smile as I squeezed her smooth legs. “Yeah, I remember.”
She shrugged and placed her hands on my chest as she leaned closer. “Well, it’s not Sunday, but I did wake up earlier than you, so I made us breakfast.”
I chuckled. “Let me guess. Eggs benedict with hollandaise sauce and freshly baked bread on the side?”
She shook her head, her lips curling with a smile. “Nope. Try again.”
My hands drifted up her thighs to wrap around her waist. “Um, ham and cheese quiche with hand-squeezed orange juice?”
She giggled and shook her head again. “One more guess.”
I looked up at the ceiling, my dick hardening as her hands traced patterns on my chest. “Fruit loops?”
Her head fell back with a laugh. “Actually, it’s frosted flakes, but close enough, I’ll give that one to you.”
I tugged her shirt over her head before flipping her, so she was beneath me.
“What are you doing?” she asked breathlessly.
I ran my lips along her collarbone, smiling when she shivered beneath me. “Thanking you for breakfast.”
She dug her fingers into my hair and tugged as I found her nipple and pulled it into my mouth. “But you haven’t even eaten it yet.”
“I’m thanking you for thinking of me and making us breakfast. I can thank you for the actual food later.”
She chuckled as she wrapped her legs around my hips. “You’re easy to please.”
I pulled back so I could
look into her eyes. “You make me happy, Belle. I’m thankful for every minute I get with you.”
Her eyes softened as she reached out and cupped my face. “I love you.”
My closed my eyes and let those three words sink deep beneath my skin. I never thought I’d hear them from her, never imagined she’d feel that way about me and it was hard to believe even now. But I’d take every proclamation of love and savor it.
I sat back and unzipped my pants before pulling out my wallet and a condom I had stashed there.
“You don’t need that.”
I frowned at her. “The condom?”
She nodded. “I’m protected. And I trust you.”
Somehow, I got harder. I tossed the condom aside and pulled my pants and boxers off. When I fit my hips between her legs again, I took a moment to look down at her. To really see her. To memorize the way her dark lashes framed her pretty eyes and the way her nose turned up a little at the tip. She was stunning, and I knew I’d never get enough. Never reach the depth of my devotion to her.
I slipped a finger between her folds, my heart stuttering when she gasped beneath me. She was so wet and tight, I couldn’t wait to be inside her again. I pulled my hand away and positioned myself at her entrance. Slowly, I entered her, inch by inch until I was completely sheathed inside her warmth.
She closed her eyes and moaned, and I began to move. Slowly at first, but the louder she got, the harder I pumped my hips against her. I reached beneath her back, propping her up so I could reach a new angle and was rewarded by another long groan from her.
I ducked down and pulled one of her taut nipples into my mouth, loving the way she pulled my hair when I nipped at her.
“I never thought I’d get this chance again. To feel you like this. To touch you the way I want to,” I murmured against her heated skin. “I thought all I’d have left were memories.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
I shook my head and kissed her lips. “Don’t be sorry, beautiful. I’ve got you now.”
Beyond Beautiful (Love in Providence Book 2) Page 36