by Roma James
I’d heard him.
Maybe not with those exact words, but I’d still heard him say he wasn’t ready for love. He wasn’t ready for me.
But why? Yeah, maybe I was a little younger than the two of them, but was there something else? Something they wanted that I couldn’t give them?
I wished I knew.
Again, though, it didn’t really matter. I’d be lucky if either of them ever spoke to me again.
I turned my head and cried into my pillow, just like I’d been doing for the last… I didn’t even know how long. It felt like it had been forever. Judging by the dim orange light that was filtering in through my window, it was already evening.
Had it really been that long? And yet still not long enough for me to stop crying.
There was a faint knock on my bedroom door. Daisy Lynn or Becca. Maybe both of them. I almost yelled for them to go away like I’d done the last few times they’d knocked, but… no.
I needed to suck it up. I needed my friends.
“Come in,” I called, not bothering to raise my head as I heard the door open and footsteps come closer.
“Are you okay?” Daisy Lynn sat down on the bed next to me as Becca walked over to the chair she’d been sitting in earlier. God, had that really just been a few hours ago? It felt like days had passed since then.
“We were worried about you,” Becca said.
“I’m fine,” I lied. “Are they gone?”
The last word came out as a whisper as another tear rolled down my cheek. Daisy Lynn reached out and wiped it away.
“They’re gone,” she said. “They left a few hours ago, right after you came in here and slammed the door.”
Ugh, God. I didn’t want to remember those particular moments, but they all came rushing back to me anyway. I remembered the sound of Boone’s voice and the look on his face when he saw me standing in the doorway, when he realized I’d heard everything.
I remember running to the house and almost knocking my uncle over as I raced up the stairs.
“Is my uncle here?” I asked, suddenly wanting to be near him, too. Or at least to apologize for nearly flattening him. And for having so little patience with him lately. I needed to be better at that.
“He’s out taking care of the cows,” Becca said. “Do you want me to go get him?”
She was already half-standing before I shook my head and motioned for her to sit back down again.
“Not right now,” I said. “Thank you, though. I just don’t want either of you to go anywhere yet.”
“We’ll stay right here as long as you need us,” Daisy Lynn said, reaching out to brush my hair back from my face.
They were good friends, and I was lucky to have them. I had so much in my life to be thankful for, and yet… it seemed like the worst moments always took up the most space in my head.
“We’ll stay as long as you need us, too,” another voice added.
My breath caught in my throat, and I scrambled to sit up, only belatedly realizing that I shouldn’t be excited. I shouldn’t be hopeful. My brain realized it, but my heart was still living in a fantasy land.
“You came back,” I said, smiling in spite of myself as Boone and Cade stepped inside my room.
They were dirty and they looked exhausted, but they were there. And I was glad to see them, even though I probably shouldn’t have been.
Daisy Lynn and Becca looked even more surprised than I had been, and I could tell from the looks my friends were giving me that they weren’t sure if they should stay or go.
“It’s okay,” I said, still smiling. “I should probably talk to these guys alone. We have some things to discuss.”
The girls nodded and both gave me a hug before slipping out the door and closing it behind them.
“I didn’t think you’d come back,” I said once the three of us were alone together.
“We’ll always come back,” Cade said, frowning. “But… did your uncle not tell you?”
“Tell me what?” I asked, shaking my head. “I haven’t seen him since… well, since I ran past him and came up here. Becca said he was out in the pasture, but I honestly don’t know.”
Cade and Boone exchanged a look, and then Boone spoke. “We didn’t want to leave, Janessa. Especially not like that. But we had an emergency. There was a fire at our ranch.”
“Oh, no!” I was up out of bed and in his arms before I’d even finished speaking. “I’m so sorry. I’ve been acting like a spoiled brat while you guys were out dealing with that? I didn’t mean…” My voice trailed off as I realized what I was doing. I took a step back and let go of Boone. “I’m sorry. We probably need to have some sort of boundaries now, I guess.”
“No,” Boone said. “I don’t want boundaries.” He reached out and grabbed me by the waist, then pulled me close to him again. “Fuck boundaries.”
Cade hadn’t said much so far, but I could see him grinning from the corner of my eye. He was clearly on board with Boone’s new feelings.
I was, too.
I just didn’t know what those feelings were, exactly.
“We found out while we were back home that we weren’t the only ones,” Cade said. “There have apparently been fires and poisonings spreading up and down the state.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, my body trembling in spite of the fact that Boone was still holding me tightly.
Cade looked over and Boone shook his head. “It means that someone is waging war on Bliss.”
Things almost felt like they were back to normal as the night passed, but after we’d all had dinner and everyone had gone to bed, there was still one thing left for me to do. There was still one important issue that we’d left unsettled.
I walked across the yard, my path lit by the full moon that was shining down on me. I felt the same surge of nerves and excitement that I’d felt before, the last time I’d made this same trip from my bedroom to the bunkhouse in the middle of the night.
This time was for different reasons, though.
I still didn’t know what to expect. I was still more than a little surprised that Cade and Boone had come back at all, even after they’d promised they would. And I still didn’t know what that meant for us—for the three of us.
But I was about to find out.
“Hey, beautiful,” Cade said, his bright smile gleaming in the moonlight as he met me at the bunkhouse door and ushered me inside. “I was wondering if you’d forgotten about us.”
“You know I didn’t,” I said, giving him a quick kiss as he pulled me close. “I just had to wait for my uncle to go to bed before I could come out here. Were you guys sleeping?”
“Not at all,” Boone said, emerging from the other side of the room to give me his own quick hug and kiss. “There’s no way we could go to sleep without talking to you first.”
I felt a little sense of relief at his words. Not because I didn’t want both of them to get some rest—God, they’d already been through so much in the past twelve hours—but because just knowing that they’d wanted to stay up for me meant they thought this was an important conversation to have, right?
I was going to take it as a good sign, anyway.
“I shouldn’t have run off before,” I said, still feeling more than a little guilty about the way things had ended the last time we’d all been out here together. “I was just… I heard what you said and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to handle it.”
“You don’t need to apologize for anything,” Boone said. “I’m sorry you had to hear it like that. And I’m sorry I was such an idiot. I was scared and I didn’t know how to handle it, either. So, I guess we had that in common.”
I laughed in spite of the tears I could feel welling up in my eyes. I thought I’d already cried more that day than was humanly possible, but my body seemed ready with more waterworks on standby.
“That’s not a great thing for us to have in common,” I said. “But I guess I’ll take it.”
Cade snic
kered but didn’t interrupt as Boone continued. “Well, to be honest, we don’t have it in common anymore. I didn’t know how to handle it then, but I know exactly what I need to do now.”
He walked me over to the bed and waited while I sat down, then they sat on either side of me. It felt a little surreal—maybe because the last time we’d all been together on this bed, it had been under very different circumstances. And even though I still didn’t know exactly what Boone was going to say or do, he was being so slow and deliberate that I knew it was important. This was a big deal for him.
“Going and dealing with that fire made me realize something,” Boone said. “I realized that I haven’t been really living my life these past few years. I’ve been going through the motions. I’ve been too scared to let myself experience any feelings at all, scared that God might decide any minute to take it all away from me again.” He paused and shook his head, his eyes suspiciously bright with emotion. “But I realized tonight, after I thought I’d lost you and when I thought we were going to lose everything on the ranch, too… I realized that I couldn’t be afraid of love anymore. Somehow, I’d let myself miss out on love and had still lost it all. And fuck that, you know? If I’m going to risk losing everything anyway, I want to at least be able to say that I’ve lived my life—that I’ve loved… that I’ve loved you, Janessa.”
He’d been talking so fast and his words had been so heartfelt that it took a moment for my brain to catch up. God, he’d had me crying from the beginning, but when I finally understood exactly what he was saying?
I threw my arms around him and hugged him tighter than I’d ever hugged anyone before. “Are you saying…” I was almost scared to let the words come out of my mouth. “That you… love me?”
“Yes,” he answered without hesitating. “I love you. I’ve been in love with you. I’ve just been too scared and too stupid to admit it.”
“We both love you,” Cade added, putting his big arms around both of us. “And we hope you’ll give us a chance to prove it. We want to be with you, beautiful, if you’ll let us. If you’ll forgive us both for the way we handled things earlier.”
“Of course I forgive you,” I said, smiling as I dashed at my tears. “There’s nothing to forgive. I love you both so much.”
I turned from Boone and kissed Cade, loving the way he instantly pulled me closer. And then I felt Boone’s hands sliding up the back of my shirt, caressing me, wanting me… loving me.
Without another word, I shrugged out of my shirt and bra, then raised my hips so Boone could help me out of the loose pants I’d thrown on.
I shivered with anticipation as I watched them both get undressed next to me. “Lie back, beautiful,” Cade whispered. “Are you cold?”
“No,” I said, shivering again as his hands moved up my inner thighs. “I’m just… I need you both so bad.”
“We’re here,” Boone said, his thick cock right next to me, so close that I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out and stroking it. “We’re not going anywhere.”
He’d said those words before, but it felt different this time. With the promise of love—the promise of forever—between us, everything felt new and different and so much more meaningful than before.
“I want you both to stay here with me,” I said. “Here on the ranch. I don’t want you to leave.”
“We’ll stay,” Cade said. “Don’t worry about that tonight, sexy. Let us make you feel good right now. Let us make up for everything else that happened today.”
I wanted to tell him again that there was nothing to apologize for, nothing to forgive, but then I felt his cock parting my slick folds and I completely forgot about everything else. Everything except for these two gorgeous men who loved me.
God, I would never get tired of saying those words. Or hearing them.
“Love you so much, Janessa,” Boone whispered, as if he’d just read my mind. He stepped closer, and I moved my hand to the base of his cock as I took the head into my mouth.
“Love you, baby,” Cade added as he made the first slow, shallow thrust inside me.
Oh, God. I wanted more. Needed more. Wanted to tell them both just how much I loved them over and over and over again.
But they already knew. They were already giving me everything I needed, and I trusted them to keep going, keep filling me up and making my body beg for more.
“You’re so sexy,” Boone said, slowly working his cock in and out of my mouth as I massaged the head and shaft with my tongue.
“So fucking perfect,” Cade growled. He began to fuck me harder and deeper, grabbing my hips and holding me in place as his long, thick cock stretched and filled my pussy. “And so fucking tight.”
God, I could have gotten off just listening to them talk. They were both so hot and so good at making me feel sexy. And now that I’d also seen them both at their most vulnerable?
I loved them even more.
“Are you gonna come for us, baby?” Boone asked, threading his fingers through my hair.
I could only moan in response as they both thrust faster. Damn, I was already nearly there.
“That’s right,” Cade said. “Be a good girl and come for us. Fuck, I love you so much.”
Hearing those last words sent me over the edge. My whole body contracted and my vision blurred. My entire world narrowed to these two men as they groaned out their release at the same time.
I felt Boone flood my throat just as Cade filled my pussy. “Oh, holy shit,” I panted, Boone’s thick, spent cock slipping from my lips. “Yes… God, yes.”
Another wave of pleasure overwhelmed me and left me trembling beneath them as they moved to join me.
It really was perfect. This night.
These men. This love.
And no matter what else might happen, I knew that they would stay with me. We would be here for each other. This love that had brought us together would get us through whenever the tough times came. I was certain of that.
But for now, I could close my eyes and sleep. I was with my guys. I was safe. I was loved.
THE END
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Her Dirty Cowboys excerpt
Check out what Daisy Lynn is up to with her lawmen in this excerpt from book two in the Men of Montana trilogy, Her Dirty Cowboys:
Daisy Lynn
I looked out over the huge front lawn of the Triple J ranch and almost had to pinch myself just to confirm that we were really here. If I was being perfectly honest, I’d been a little nervous about spending a few days out on a ranch in the middle of nowhere, but I had pushed my nerves aside for the sake of visiting and catching up with Janessa.
We’d done our best to stay in touch over the past year since Janessa’s parents had passed away, but this was the first time Becca and I had actually been able to come visit. Looking at the place, it seemed just like Janessa had described it to us—a big farm house sitting on a perfectly manicured lawn with fields and pastures stretching out in every direction as far as the eye could see. Even the nearest road from town was at least a mile away down the long driveway.
But even though it looked like a quiet, quaint, dull-as-dishwater place, it was apparently far from boring. Or maybe we’d just come at a particularly dramatic time. We’d learned from Janessa and from the bits and pieces of conversation we’d picked up over breakfast that there had been some trouble at the ranch lately.
Vandalism.
Burglary.
Poisoned animals.
And now Janessa, Becca, and I were standing on the front porch waiting for the sheriff to arrive and take a look around.
I hated that my best friend was going through so much scary stuff all at once, but I had to admit it made the whole place seem a lot more exciting than I’d imagined. A lot more d
angerous, too.
And to think I’d been worried about bears and wolves before we got here.
“They’re here,” Janessa said, squinting against the sun as she looked down the driveway.
I followed her gaze but couldn’t see anything. Couldn’t even see the road from where we were standing on the porch. “Where?” I asked. “How do you know?”
I looked over at Becca, wondering if I’d missed something, but she just shrugged.
“Listen,” Janessa said, cocking her head to the side. “You can hear the engine in the sheriff’s patrol car from a mile away.”
I couldn’t hear anything and still couldn’t see anything, either—which meant they were literally a mile away. Did living on a ranch give people some kind of hearing superpower? It really was quiet here, though. Like, really quiet. Maybe it was easier to hear when something out of the ordinary was happening once you got used to the normal ranch sounds.
Or maybe my best friend was a mutant. With everything else I’d learned about this place in the past twenty-four hours, I wouldn’t have been totally shocked.
But just as I was getting ready to question Janessa on her mutant origins, I saw the glint of sunlight from the lights on top of the police cruiser. And once I could see the car, I could finally start to hear the engine noise that she’d been talking about. God, how had I missed that? It really did sound like a race car coming up the driveway.
“Told you.” Janessa grinned as my eyebrows shot up. “Anyone committing a crime in a five-mile radius knows when to start running from the sound of that engine.”
I opened my mouth to reply but then closed it again when I saw the two men getting out of the police car.
“Wow,” Becca whispered, clearly just as impressed as I was with the level of hotness we were witnessing. “They look like…”
Her voice trailed off, but I was pretty sure I knew the direction her thoughts were heading.