Tears of anxiety and loneliness welled up in her eyes, and just as she was about to call out her companion’s name, regardless of appearances. A flock of birds flew overhead from the direction of the woods, flitting about one another. The wind gusted, shaking the tree branches, and small waves rippled on the bath. There was still a hint of winter on the wind blowing across her cheek. It was all much too vivid to be a dream.
Before she began to cry like a small child, she looked at her left wrist. There, she could see the faint scar where the leech had bit her. When she scratched it, she could feel the pain.
It was not a dream, and she was certain that the night the leech had bitten her, she had nibbled at her companion’s shoulders and neck and everywhere else. As she recalled all those small details, she finally returned to reality. Her nap had caused her imagination to run wild in drowsiness.
“…What a fool…”
With relief came a feeling of embarrassment.
Deep in her heart was a well filled with dark things. The weight of her happiness, which was almost too warm for comfort, kept a tight lid on it. She almost always forgot about it, but when she let her guard down, it would come seeping out. The darkness inside had a name—loneliness.
Her happy, daily routine flowed from yesterday to today without any distinction between them. If she was too happy, time would pass by much too quickly.
That was why her words to her companion the night before had not been a lie. There were several things she was expecting from Selim, the new girl.
The first was to simply do her share of work as a helper, so that this bathhouse her companion had spent his blood, sweat, and tears on could mature. And the second was to be a spark that could incite a quarrel between herself and her companion.
Then, her memory of the fight and the consequent reconciliation would emerge as a clear pattern in the tapestry of her every day, become a concrete event in her memory, and keep the lid closed tight on her well of loneliness. The other hundreds and thousands of days without strife would become the same as her naps in the afternoon and would be pushed far away into the depths of her memory.
Time passed much too quickly. Her only choice was to make a mark on herself with her nails so that she would not forget. Like the scar the leech left on her wrist.
Human and animal activity, however, was nothing but the same actions repeated over and over again. So all she could do was simply soothe her anxiety a bit in a way that she would just forget the following day.
Embracing her companion from behind as he worked, drinking hard liquor until she became stupidly drunk, imparting all her knowledge to her only daughter as a bedtime story so she may capture the male she fancied…
That being said, it was like bottling the summer air to save it for winter.
The repetition of daily life wore many things down. So while the days went by smoothly and efficiently, not everything stayed in her memory.
It was not that she hated plucking buds off wild vegetables. It was honest work atop more honest work that kept the bathhouse running, and the better it ran, the happier her companion became. In the end, she considered herself living in luxury. She was like a dog peering into a stream with a piece of meat in its mouth only to greedily attempt to snatch the morsel in the water’s reflection.
“What a fool I am.”
She murmured to herself and returned to work plucking buds.
Though she was happy, she was sad she could not give names to each and every piece of her happiness.
Holo’s work plucking buds was over before noon, thanks to her diligence.
She had Selim dry the parts that would become fodder while she took the edible buds to the kitchen, returning to the main house after. For now, she wanted to find where her companion was and stick close to him. It was like an insect sipping tree sap. He was a bit of a wooden blockhead, so it made sense.
“If you’re looking for the master, he’s out front.”
Hanna, who was parboiling the buds in the kitchen, informed her of his whereabouts. On her way out, Holo pilfered a few slices of jerky from a shelf, and Hanna scolded her.
“We’ll be eating lunch soon.”
If her companion was out front, that meant he must have been doing some sort of hard labor. Perhaps a traveling merchant delivering goods had come on the now-thawed mountain roads, or maybe it was a boat along the river that had brought cargo.
If he was in the middle of heavy lifting, then she would of course not interfere, but she would be able to accompany him to the baths after he was done.
She thought about this and that as she passed through the corridor and came out the front, where her companion was, with Selim.
“I am sorry…”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s my fault for not telling you.”
As they talked, they were untying the bundles of fodder stacked by the front entrance.
“What are you doing?”
Holo’s call prompted the two to look back at her.
“Oh, hey. Perfect timing. Can you help us?”
“Help?”
Beside him, Selim stopped what she was doing and looked up at her, a guilty expression written on her face. Her slender shoulders drooped so low it was like they nearly disappeared.
“I, um…used the wrong string to tie the fodder together…”
Responding quietly, she continued working. It seemed she was taking apart the bundles she had put together.
“Hmm. Should I undo everything?”
“No, just tie it with new string. And there’s some three-strand twine mixed in there, too, so take those off as well.”
“How bothersome.”
She had meant for it to be the lighthearted response she always gave him, but Selim recoiled and shrunk back.
“Oh, mm, ’twas not meant for you. I, too, make this mistake often,” she added hurriedly. The girl was nervous being in an unfamiliar pack. Even if she poked fun at her companion as she always did, it sounded harsh to the newcomer’s ears. She had to be careful.
She flashed an exceptional smile toward Selim and returned to work.
According to her companion, he had told Selim to use the old string to bundle the withered grasses together, but she had mistaken the new cord for the old. Both the old and new hemp string were in the same place in the shed, so it was undoubtedly complicated.
The task was completed rather quickly with all three of them working together. She told her former traveling-merchant companion that his fussy way of saving material by using the oldest things first made this his fault.
And it was good since Selim had made a modest mistake, as it gave Holo an excuse to ease up on her work. Had she done her work perfectly, it would have been suffocating.
But then again, the next day Selim made another little mistake.
In the spring, the villagers of Nyohhira hold a small, private festival. They worshipped Alzeuri, the patron saint of hot springs or some sort. Selim took the wrong votive candles to use in the festival.
She was supposed to hand over beeswax candles but apparently instead brought a boxful of tallow candles to the meeting hall.
“I’m sorry…”
Selim looked as though she might cry, perhaps in response to her continued mistakes. But it could be quickly resolved by simply switching the candles, and it did not seem like she was slacking in her duties. She worked without complaint and did everything she was told. And so of course, she prepared the correct candles without any scolding and simply carried them to the meeting hall.
By now, Holo had come to know Selim better. She was diligent and hardworking, but there were foolish parts to her. There were times she stumbled or dropped things. The person in question did seem aware of it, so it was admirable how she made sure to overcome her shortcomings. She was very much the kind of girl her companion fancied.
And so, Holo was not that surprised that the girl had mistaken beeswax candles for tallow ones. They were molded in a similar shape, and she ma
y not have ever seen beeswax before in her life.
Because of that, her mistakes only came up once in a while when Holo and her companion talked before going to sleep at night. The problem was that Selim apparently did not see it that way.
Ever since the day she mistook the candles her mood had been awful. She was an honest girl, and she may have been needlessly pressuring herself.
The young wolf was a valuable worker, and it would cause problems for even Holo if she quit. Even without quitting, her mood would most certainly affect the atmosphere in the bathhouse. This was a place that brought people smiles and happiness, and so they could not tolerate anyone stifling that.
But what should they do? Selim did not seem the sort to cheer up with drink. And telling her not to mind appeared to only result in her becoming even more self-conscious.
Though Holo had lived for a long time, this was her first experience with this sort of situation.
Though she contemplated deeply about the best way to cheer someone up, she could not come up with anything, and because she was so busy with her own work, she missed her opportunity to call out to the young girl. But one day, her companion whispered to her.
“Do you think you could help me with Miss Selim?”
“Help?”
“Can you think of an excuse to take her into the mountains?”
Holo looked back at him, puzzled, wondering what he meant.
“Take her out saying you’re going to find new springs or something, and could you bring her to the other side of the mountains while you’re at it?”
She finally got the point.
“Have her visit her family, you mean?”
“Yeah.”
Selim’s older brother and other relatives were building lodgings some two or three mountains away. They were apparently planning to make a fortune by attracting pilgrims, touting their location as a sacred destination where the miracle of a holy woman had transpired. Had the good little boy Col known about this, he would definitely have made an unhappy face, but the one who thought of the scheme was her companion. That was the only plan that they could think of when they were at a loss in Svernel.
The problem was, the one who had played the part of the holy woman was Selim. She was supposed to be buried deep underground, so it would be odd if she were constantly seen around the inn. So accordingly, she was hired to work at the bathhouse Spice and Wolf, which was in need of helpers, but that meant she was forced to live far, far away from her family.
Of course, she could cross the distance in no time if she ran in her wolf form, so it was not an eternal parting.
Which was why Holo thought her companion’s idea would be counterproductive.
“Is the girl not right in the middle of getting used to her new pack? Would having them meet after such a short time not only bring her and her friends’ resolution into question?”
Selim and her older brother were especially serious folk. When Selim first came to the house, her expression was steely, as though in preparation for war. The kin of wolves would never stray from a path once they had decided upon it, no matter what.
And so she explained that to her companion.
“Logically, that makes sense.”
“Dear, I am serious—”
Holo stopped speaking because of the look in her companion’s eyes.
He never gave the impression of having confidence in himself and always seemed to have strange assumptions about things, but he occasionally held such unwavering beliefs that even a wisewolf could not sink her teeth in.
At times like those, though he should have exuded strength, his eyes always seemed somewhat sad.
She easily bent to his will whenever she saw those eyes of his.
Unwittingly, Holo’s ears and tail drooped.
“I was once a traveling merchant. I’ve carried people who lived far away from their family and friends many times. So many people did nothing but complain when they sat in the back of the wagon. ‘I don’t want to see them,’ ‘I can’t meet them now after all this time,’ ‘They’ll pummel me when they see me,’ and on and on.”
He flashed a tired smile and knelt down to her eye level.
It was almost as though he were reasoning with a child.
“But when they finally did meet, they were always happy. That’s not logical.”
Then, he reached out to touch her cheek.
She jumped and recoiled, because it almost felt as though he was going to directly touch the soft parts of her heart.
“You know this.”
He was right.
When she wanted to go home but had forgotten the way there and sat at a loss in a field of wheat, she forcefully snuck into her companion’s wagon. She did not care what came after. She missed her homeland that much.
And then, facing many dangers, her companion took her where she needed to go. At first, she only thought that he was just a hopelessly good-hearted person, but that was not so. He held true to his own beliefs born from his own experiences.
“And it might be a problem that Miss Selim’s brothers are so close.”
“…Hmm?”
“They’re probably thinking along the same lines as you. Once they decide on something, they’ll absolutely carry it out. And then, seeing how near they are, it will only make it harder for them. And because they’re so close, they probably imagine they shouldn’t just hop over to visit one another—that it would be weak and pathetic.”
“Mm-hmm…And so…you mean to say…’tis different?”
She looked back at him, and he smiled bitterly.
“I know Miss Selim is trying her best to be a member of this house. But any newcomer will always feel helpless. But on the other hand, do you remember Selim’s brother’s face when he saw her off? He was practically sick with worry. If you bring her to him, there’s no chance he would be cruel to her. He would encourage and comfort her. It would help her a hundred times more than us saying anything. She has someone like that not too far away, so why doesn’t she go see him?”
His train of thought was like grasping the ends of a tangled mess of thread, then pulling on them only to find that nothing had been tangled all along.
With both a will and a way, one should act.
She could even call this a very merchantlike way of thinking.
Of course, that included her companion’s personal outlook on life and his innate good-heartedness. There were a great many bathhouses that handled their help like tools, and if anything, such treatment was actually expected in the human world to the point where it was often considered that a master who did not punish their workers was already a good one.
But her companion was not that kind of person. Those who rode in the back of his wagon were his friends, and he tried his best to deal with them in a kind manner. It was perhaps similar to a merchant’s attachment to their cargo.
When she herself was a part of his cargo, she was distraught with worry about how he would treat other freight, but now she sat beside him on the driver’s perch.
And so, as his partner on his journey, she could depend on him for and was even proud of how he treated his cargo so well.
Her companion was so attractive in how he would not be tied down by common sense when it came to his friends, and she almost hated him for it.
“Hmm? What’s wrong?”
Her companion finally noticed her state and was staring at her, puzzled.
Unable to hold back the warm feeling in her heart, she grinned proudly and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“You are such a fool, such a foolish man.”
“Huh?”
He sounded suspicious, but he understood that she was in a good mood by how her ears and tail twitched happily.
He returned the favor by embracing her back, and she managed to calm herself for the moment.
“Hmm…Regarding your idea, I do not mind, but there are still humans about in the mountains during this time of year. Would you mind if we left once
night fell?”
“Oh, of course not. We have work during the day anyway.”
“You fool. ’Tis not the question.”
Her companion seemed puzzled. It seemed he did not understand what she had meant.
“I am asking if you do not feel lonely sleeping alone at night?”
Their daughter Myuri was not around, either.
Then, after a slight moment of surprise, he gave her a small smile.
“What? When you come home, you know how grateful I’ll be.”
Her companion knew how to treat her well, too.
“Heh-heh. Very well, then.”
In the end, unable to control herself, she clung to him again, and her tail swished about happily.
Though it was not a full moon that night, it was just bright enough.
They ate dinner, and around the time they would typically start going to bed, they instead gathered behind the bathhouse.
There was the wisewolf, who could easily swallow anything human-sized in one gulp, and a cute little wolf who one might typically see roaming around the forest. And the wisewolf’s shivering companion.
“I wish I had your fur.”
Once the sun set, a midwinter chill descended onto the mountains. A puff of white smoke rose from her companion’s mouth when he spoke.
“We shall return before dawn.”
“Make sure the charcoal makers and whatnot don’t get a good look at you.”
“Fool.”
She bumped him with her nose, and he scratched her around her chin. It was a natural exchange for them, but when she noticed that Selim was beside them watching, she suddenly grew embarrassed.
“…Ahem. Well, shall we be off?”
“Yes.”
The young, slender wolf almost looked like she was glowing under the moonlight.
Holo was of course not envious, but she had a fleeting thought that if she could be that size, she and her companion could stay in the same room even in this form.
“Be safe.”
She did not know if her companion was aware of her thoughts, but he spoke all the same.
For all intents and purposes, they were supposedly searching for new springs, but it was really for Selim’s sake.
They turned away without a response and dashed off. Holo made rounds out in the mountains in this form to make sure that there would be no avalanches once the snow started to soften, but she had not done so lately. She loved the feeling of running in the mountains in this large form, and she could not help her gaining speed.
Spring Log II Page 12