by Cynthia Dane
“You…” Natalie melted before me, but it wasn’t in the lusty puddle I desired. She was sweating, red, and full of the kind of anxiety I went to Yesterday’s River to escape. It wasn’t a good look on her. I had my work cut out for me if I wanted to keep her anger assuaged.
Not that I blamed her for being angry at me. I could only imagine how this looked from her point of view. What woman wanted to be cast aside and left in the dark for days after she was fucked by someone as skilled as me?
(Yes, being around Natalie may or may not have inflated my ego. We all have our weaknesses, and she will always be mine.)
“I admit that the message was a bit racy,” I said, referring to my message on her bouquet. “But it sounded good at the time.”
Natalie came toward me, cheeks still flushed red and voice dry when she spoke. “What is going on here?”
If there’s one terrible tip I’ve learned living life as a man, it’s that the best way to drive a woman mad is to pretend to ignore her. Act like anything else is more interesting than her desperation for you. Isn’t it wild that it works? Because when I sifted through a stack of notes on my desk, I felt her emotions intensify inside that petite form I longed to worship again. “You mean between us, I suspect.”
“What else would I mean?” she spat.
There was an edge to her voice that I had not expected. No, I should lose the disguise that I found other things more interesting. I offered her my full attentions, compelled to make her see the real me within my eyes. If it even lingered there.
Instead, I met a fierce force behind her own. For a week, I had recalled the soft and passionate side of Natalie Chen. The one I had in my room, and the one I allowed to leave with a small piece of myself. Now I faced the fireball that formed when she was scorned. Just like she was passionate in love, she could be as ignited in scorn.
“You’re angry with me.”
Her lip curled. Natalie was a master of her own illusions, but they came down around me.
“I only want to know what’s going on,” she said. “I need to know if that was temporary or if it’s supposed to happen again.”
“Quick and to the point.” I removed my reading glasses and carefully placed them beside my executive pen. “I appreciate that about you.”
Natalie remained where she stood while I got up and rounded my desk. The tension between us grew, pulling me toward her, begging me to kiss her. If I could explain with my tongue what I already felt deep in my heart…
No. She deserved better than that. My tongue would have to do what it was originally made for. Then I could try to steal a kiss.
“I apologize for falling off the face of the Earth like that,” I said. “I came down with something the morning after and my doctor suggested I not come into work. It was a good thing she suggested that, because I was in no position to do my job.” Understatement.
“You get sick a lot.”
“I do,” I concurred. “Some things don’t change from childhood.” My family took me getting mono as a child as a great excuse to craft excuses for my constant disappearances from public life. I admit, I had carried on that charade into adulthood.
“There’s a rumor going around that you checked into Yesterday’s River.”
That caught me off guard. Who had said that? Who else knew about it? My stays in treatment were meant to be secret. “You shouldn’t listen to rumors, Natalie,” I said carefully. “You never know where they come from.”
“So it’s not true?”
“I want to divulge that my original plan was to talk this over lunch on either Monday or Tuesday. Instead, I disappeared. That’s not all right. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to discuss our relationship now.”
“What is there to discuss?” Natalie scoffed. “You seduced me, we fooled around… as long as you don’t treat me poorly around the office, I guess I don’t care what there is to discuss.”
That fiery temperament was what always came me back or more. You don’t overlook a woman like Natalie. From the moment she crosses your path, you’re a slovenly slave to her temperamental attitude and the ruthless way she puts you in place. Or maybe that’s just me. I have always needed women like that in my life.
“So you don’t care that I’m inclined to ask you out again?” I asked.
Something slightly softened in Natalie’s aura, as if I had that much control over her energy. That was a truth I couldn’t take lightly. “You want to do that, huh?”
I braved taking her arms into my hands. Electric. That’s how I felt every time we were close enough to touch – when we really did make contact? She was lucky I didn’t make a giant fool of myself right there. I could only pray that she felt it as well. “If it pleases you.” I waited for the tiny smile to appear on her hopeful face. “I thought we had a nice time the other night.”
Blush. A tiny giggle. While I was thrilled I had this effect on her, I also worried that she would crumble in my grasp. “But I’m your employee, so…”
“So you think I can’t do whatever I want… like go out with one of my employees? Even in secret?”
She sighed. “In secret. So it would be just an affair.”
I tightened my grasp on her. “I didn’t mean to imply that.”
“It’s true, though,” Natalie said. “Nobody could know about it. We could get in a lot of trouble. My reputation might be ruined.”
“When you put it that way…”
Yes. When I put it that way, I could make anything sound possible. I attempted to convey that to Natalie when she met my gaze again, this time with renewed hope.
A renewed, yet crippled hope.
“What did you have in mind?” That bite I so loved was still in her voice, but her grin was coy, and she relaxed in my hold. “Hooking up in your office on our lunch hours? When Brooke’s out having her life in the midday? Fetching us pizza?”
“Carbs are important for energy.”
“The kind of energy you need to fuck me?”
“Jesus, Nat.” That was like a punch to my pelvis. One that made me want – need – her even more. “You’re too much sometimes.”
“We’ve established that you like how blunt I can be. I’m only following through.”
“I suppose so.”
“Anyway, if we’re doing this,” she continued, “I get some of my own terms, right?”
“Absolutely.”
Natalie poked me in the chest. I released her, taking an instinctive step back, paranoid that she would feel my breasts beneath my binder. “I want real dates,” she said. “At least once a week. Wine and dine me before you stick it in. Give me more flowers and at least make me feel like I’m your real girlfriend.”
I took a chance… played a hand I didn’t even know I yet had. “Who says you’re not?”
“I don’t delude myself.”
“I don’t exaggerate,” I insisted. “If I suggest you could be my girlfriend, I mean it.”
“You really need a girlfriend that convenient, huh?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
Natalie laughed in my face. “Screwing a girl in the office is the most time effective use of your day.”
“So you’re thinking the same thing about me?”
She spared another irresistibly coy look. “I do like to be pragmatic about these things.”
“Let’s keep it simple for now.” My fingers hooked beneath her chin, tipping her head up for a kiss. “How about I take you out tonight?”
“To dinner?”
“In a restaurant and everything.”
“Then you take me back to your house, and…” Natalie sighed. I could have kissed that sigh. “Your staff make such a fuss over me.”
“We could go to a hotel if it makes you feel better.” God knew I already had one in mind. “I have a few on standby in the city.”
“For all the women you fool around with?”
“I’m not fooling around with anyone else right now.”
She didn�
�t waste a second to banter with me. “Turns out I’m not either. How fortunate.”
“Indeed.” I released her chin. “Do I get to kiss you now or not?” The only question truly burning in the back of mind. I knew she would go out with me again. Getting a kiss right now, though? That was the real test.
Natalie closed her eyes and tilted her head for me. That was all the invitation I needed. My lips were on hers before my arms wrapped around her.
I had missed her. Only four days apart, and I was a mess without her.
Natalie was exactly what I wanted, not only as lover, but as a woman who offered so much to someone like me. My only hope was that I could give her as much as she gave me. My kisses were only the beginning. But I made sure they counted, because sometimes they were the only tool I had to communicate what I truly meant.
I love you, Natalie. That was the first time I allowed myself to think it. I would die if you broke my heart. I would die before I broke your heart.
Her tongue touched mine first. Her arms tightened around my torso, and her hips gently undulated against mine. It was nearly impossible to fight the urge to throw her down on my desk and fuck her.
Instead, I had to settle for a preview of that night. I made sure Natalie knew what she would get when I wrapped my tongue around hers and fisted my hand in her hair. Her throat would not escape my mouth. She must know the passion and the power I harbored in my repressed body.
I knew we had little time, but I expected a few minutes more before footsteps thundered toward my door. Natalie must have been listening for them as well, for she and I separated at the same exact time. Her perfume was still in my nose when she was on the other side of the room and the door opened.
Brooke shook her head in disbelief, absorbed in her own world. “There’s some traffic accident down the street and…”
Oh, there it was. Natalie and I may have been far apart by the time Brooke returned, but she could still see the kisses on our lips. “What… the fuck…”
I’m sorry, Brooke. That wasn’t how I wanted you to find out that I was finally seeing someone.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Brooke erected an invisible wall I couldn’t penetrate, no matter how forcefully I walked toward her. “No! Oh my God! Are you fucking serious?”
She did what I feared she might try. Before I could talk her down from summoning Sherman outside on his lunch break, Brooke slammed the emergency button on her phone. Because when you’re me, with your own security team at your beck and call, 911 isn’t good enough. Even your own staff has direct access to your personal shields.
Sherman isn’t afraid to barrel through a crowd when that button is slammed. And he must not have been too far way, for the not ten seconds later he was in the doorway, watching me talk over Brooke and Natalie.
“Did you know this was going on?” Brooke shoved herself between Sherman and me, her vitriol reserved for the only real man in the room. “Did you know Eric was fucking this slut?”
That was it. I had a lot of patience for Brooke’s panic, but she was not calling Natalie a slut and getting away with it. Not only was it a matter of professionalism in my office, but Brooke had overstepped her bounds – both as my employee, and as a supposedly trusted friend.
I took her by the hand and forced her attention back on me. When I spoke, it was with the spine-cracking snap of a scorned lover. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
We shared a split second of animosity-turned-compassion. But only for a split second. Because when Brooke freed her hand to draw it back for a slap to my face, Sherman intervened, his stalwart body unfazed by the turmoil erupting from one woman.
He hauled her by the shoulders to one of the chairs by the window. “Sit!” Brooke landed in the chair with an unflattering flop that ruffled her blouse and messed up her hair. “They can hear you out there.”
“Who fucking cares when he’s going through half the office again!”
Whenever Brooke dropped the f-bomb this often, I knew she was legitimately pissed. I don’t think she said it that much during our whole relationship – not until she got drunk enough to dump me. The first time.
“You knew, didn’t you?”
“Of course I fucking knew.” I could hear my mother now, condemning us all for a gratuitous use of curse words. Good thing Sherman wouldn’t be intimidated by my mother, even if she magically showed up. “Who do you think made her sign the NDA?”
“Did this happen in San Francisco? I knew this was going to happen!”
Why am I not surprised that she suspected this might happen? The worst part? She probably wasn’t worried that Natalie was only in this for my money and prestige, although I don’t doubt those were contributing factors toward Natalie’s attraction for me. No. Brooke was worried that I was spearheading this doomed relationship. She must have known I was attracted to Natalie the first time those interns were trotted into my office and made to prance for my approval. I had given it, too. I had given Natalie so much approval that Brooke sat on the sidelines, wondering when the inevitable would happen.
Me. Natalie. In bed.
Who were you more concerned for, Brooke? Her feelings, or mine? Was she even a person to you in that moment?
I met Natalie’s gaze from across the room. Her eyes were bigger and rounder than I had ever seen them, her fright as palpable as my own every time I realized I would never have a normal life.
I’m so sorry, Natalie. This wasn’t how I wanted you to be inducted into my world.
“Both of you settle the fuck down!” My turn to contribute to the decline of the English language. It worked. Both Brooke and Sherman focused their attention on me instead of each other. “I’m not a fan of these ludicrous theatrics. Especially from you, Brooke.”
“Really, Eric?” Brooke almost cackled. “The intern?” She looked at Sherman. “You didn’t interfere? What the hell?”
“Wasn’t my place. You know that.”
“It’s my private life, Brooke.” I lowered my voice, hoping nobody in the greater office heard what went on in here. “I know that having a relationship with an intern is…”
“…A very bad idea?”
“… not ideal, but I’m not given a lot of choices, now am I?” I turned from them in disgust, sparing Natalie only a moment of silent apology. In a perfect world, I could have taken her into my arms and reassured her that everything was all right. Smoothed down her hair. Covered her cheeks in kisses. Lightly pinched her chin and offered her a smile. Yet I couldn’t. I was trapped in an uncertain hell. “It’s done. It’s happened. Let’s not humiliate Ms. Chen any more than I’m sure she’s already been.”
Brooke furrowed her brows and let me have it. “You better get her the hell out of my face before I spit in it.”
Even I was too shocked to say anything, let alone in Natalie’s defense. I had never heard Brooke harbor so much heat for one individual.
Sherman escorted Natalie out of the office. I attempted to spare her one last look, but she was gone, door in her face, before I had the chance to say or do anything. When my team makes decisions on my behalf, there’s little I can do before the damage is done.
I would’ve given anything to have some other team in that moment.
Natalie’s absence did not absolve us of more altercating. Brooke continued to chastise me for my foolish love life, and I continued to defend myself and laud Natalie for how well she had taken everything so far. Sherman occasionally intervened to tell us to calm the hell down before anyone in the office heard what we argued about. Bad enough if everyone knew I was sleeping with Natalie. It would be even worse if they thought Brooke and I had a real falling out.
“How much does she know?” Brooke used the last of her energy to ask me that. “How much does she fucking know, Eric?”
Sherman answered on my behalf. “She obviously doesn’t know much if she’s hanging around.”
“She’s still under Beta security,” I said. “We’ll reassess Alpha at a later dat
e.”
“Jesus fucking Christ.” Brooke cracked up under the stress pressing upon her shoulders. She collapsed on the couch, a crazed look of disbelief clouding her judgment and making her look more like the lunatic I supposedly put in a nursing home than my own mother did. “So she doesn’t know anything!”
That was like a stab to my heart, and she knew it. I shot Brooke a look that suggested she shut up before she got herself fired. “Both of you leave me,” I said, clutching my skull in my hands. “Please. I have a massive headache.”
Five minutes later, I was alone in my office, sprawled along my couch and trying to figure out what the hell I should do. Brooke was too erratic to be reasoned with. Sherman was likewise unimpressed with my love life, and only paid to do what was in my best interest – as a friend, I knew he could get as angry as Brooke about what I did with my personal life.
Yet the only one I could think about was Natalie. Not my own feelings or issues, but Natalie, the woman who was so in the dark about what was really going on that she probably blamed herself for everything.
I couldn’t allow that. Even if I never saw Natalie again after that day, I couldn’t let her live the rest of her life thinking that this was somehow her fault. That she wasn’t good enough for me, and that’s why everyone was so angry at us.
That couldn’t be further from the truth.
Chapter 23
ERICA
The rest of the day was shot. Brooke did the bare minimum to keep the business running, and Sherman pulled double duty playing security guard and keeping Natalie far, far away from me. I played it cool until my last meeting of the day ended right at five. I followed my guest out of my office, shaking his hand and promising to checkout a club that came highly recommend for its beautiful women and delicious drinks. But all I could think about was Natalie, and how I was taking her out for a date that night.
Sherman foiled me by asking building security to personally escort Natalie out. When I discovered that, I didn’t get angry. I merely thanked him for working so hard and retreated into my personal bathroom.