by Cynthia Dane
Anxiety and anticipation both vied for my attentions. This wasn’t anything like our first night together, when she took great care to restrain and blindfold me so I wouldn’t accidentally find out the truth about her body. But hadn’t it been hot? Hadn’t I been so enthralled that I convinced myself I wanted to be kept like this forever?
Sometimes who we project to the world isn’t the person we are behind closed doors. I wanted to dominate the business world and punch the white-man’s patriarchy in the face. First chance I had, however, I willingly bound myself in some billionaire’s bedroom and asked to be treated like a toy. I didn’t care!
If there was anything Erica had taught me, however, it was that I didn’t have to think. She wasn’t going to think about who she was or what it might mean outside of this room. She only wanted to think about us. Wasn’t that the way to do it?
Silly me. Thinking I would accept an internship at her company and learn about business. First chance I had, I demanded to learn more about myself. Myself! Like anyone gave a fuck!
“If I weren’t so stringent about my privacy,” she said from the bathroom doorway. “I would take a picture of you so I could look at it every time I wish to remember how amazing you look tied up in my bed. Let alone in that dress.”
“Go ahead and take a picture. Print it on some fliers and distribute them around town if you want. Get over here and stop torturing me.”
“Oh, Ms. Chen.” She slowly unbuttoned her shirt, each button driving the anticipation deeper into my body. “The torture is only beginning.”
“Prove it, boss.”
When she opened her blouse, I wasn’t treated to the breasts I had admired last Sunday. They were carefully concealed within her black binder that she did nothing to hide now. Yet the vulnerability she offered in that moment struck me as utterly irresistible.
It was a damn good thing that she had tied me up, otherwise I might have put my hands all over her, and that would have been a terrible, terrible thing.
“That’s right. Squirm.” Erica opened a black box on top of the nearest nightstand. At this point, I was trained to expect more ropes, more knots, and more of me spread across her bed. “Although you’ll be squirming a lot more soon.”
How in the…
There are some things that I’ll never figure out. I’ll never know how she always managed to find me at the most opportune moments. I’ll never know how she knew my size when she one day delivered a matching bra and panty set that fit me as if it were custom made. I will never, ever figure out how the fuck she knew what sex toys I kept in my nightstand back home!
Because, guess what? That was the vibrator I had used the night she called me up and told me to touch myself.
Not the exact one, of course. Erica hadn’t magically gone into my bedroom and stolen it from my stash, but she had purchased a brand new one. Even the color was the same, but that wasn’t surprising. I had asked her which color I should use, and she remembered!
“You’re a monster,” I said. “Tormenting a girl like this.”
“You think you’re the one who is tormented?” The vibrator came to life in her hand. Yup. I was squirming, and she hadn’t even touched me yet. “I’m the one who gets to watch you have all the fun. What do I get?” The vibrations hit my thigh. The pathetic sound coming out of my throat would have embarrassed the old me, but with Erica, I knew every sound – any sound – was like music brightening up her room. She brought me in here to make noise, and some damn noise I was about to make!
“Shiver for me, baby.” Erica submerged her face in the sweet space between my breasts. “Show me how badly you want me to pleasure you.”
How badly? How badly? When she talked to me like that, I wanted everything badly. The tremoring tenor in her voice was enough to make my nipples hard. The press of her firm fingers against my flesh made me wet. That look on her face? The one that said she was about to eat me alive? How the hell was I not already coming?
“Oh!” It killed me that I couldn’t move my hands. I knew how this thing worked. If it was turned this way, moved like that, or twisted until the tip massaged my flesh, I would come like a fucking geyser. But I couldn’t move my hands, and Erica didn’t know those things yet. Every agonizing second was another in exploration. Soon, she would know. She would know how to make me come right away and when to pull back so she could torture me some more.
Assuming she could stand it.
“Oh my God,” she whispered against my skin. “You’re killing me with how hot you are.”
I tried to speak. My words were lost to the pleasure mounting my body.
“Know what I would love to do?” Of course she could still speak. She wasn’t the one with a vibrator in her cunt and a finger against her clit. “I’d love to keep you tied up like this while I fuck you.”
She pulled the vibrator away long enough for me to come down and speak. “What the hell are you doing now?”
“Foreplay. You know this isn’t the best we could do.”
“What did you have in mind, then?”
The buzzing stopped. Erica dropped the vibrator between my spread legs and rubbed my thigh, her fingertips brushing maddeningly against my pussy. “You know what I have in mind.”
I have yet to mention something that I had noticed all night. I never mentioned it because, at the time, it wasn’t related to what went on between us.
To be blunt, Erica had been packing all day. One of the first visual cues I learned after the truth came out was that Erica with her custom made (because of course it was) dick moved a lot differently from when she was all natural. Today, I understand. She had taken to wearing something like that to boost the illusion that she was male. It forced her to walk and sit like a stereotypical man. Her male-cut trousers also didn’t fit right when she went without it. She had been wearing it all day Friday. It had rigidly pressed against me when we made out on the couch. I had assumed she would take it off when we got into bed.
I mean, the thing was flaccid. On purpose. She couldn’t very well walk around with an erect dildo in her pants, right? Although to this day I tease her about wearing one to the boardroom to fuck with everyone’s heads. Male posturing at its finest.
Even though I was riveted with sexual energy, I had to think up a way to say what I wanted without possibly offending her. Not as easy as I would have liked.
“You want to do some hip thrusting, huh?”
Her fingers sank into me, so easily that I couldn’t even feel guilty about it. What guilt? What shame? Everything that had happened since we came home was pure bliss. We could roleplay if she wanted. Hell, if she told me it wasn’t roleplaying I would still be into it. I wasn’t a stranger to the ways people made love. Man. Woman. Who cared? Did my partner feel good? Did they make me feel good? Were they okay with me touching them like they touched me? That’s all I cared about. How she saw herself in her head was inconsequential.
“I may not be interested in blindfolding you tonight,” she said while I slightly writhed around her fingers, “but the only reason I haven’t gagged you yet is because I want you to beg for me to fuck you.”
“Fuck me.”
“Not yet.” Erica pulled out, but her fingers lingered against my clit and the surrounding sensitive folds she loved to tease. All it took was one heavy stroke and I made a mess of the hem of my dress and the top of her silky comforter. I’ve since learned that stupidly rich people get off on having their girlfriends dirty their expensive linens. “You have to wait until I’m ready.”
“You’re not ready?”
Erica knelt beside me. Her fingers covered in me briskly undid her zipper and pulled her trousers halfway down. “Nope. You think I can use this thing for anything but fooling half-blind board members? It’s useless.” She pulled the flaccid piece of silicon out of her trousers and tossed it on the floor. It landed with a heavy thump that shook me to my eager core. Damn. That’s all it took for my nipples to get hard again? “I’ve got better pieces to play
with.”
“Are they as well-made as that thing?”
“Better. Because they’re made for sexual pleasure.”
“You had me at sex.”
“I know. Look at you. You’re practically coming apart because you want it so badly.”
“Does that turn you on?”
“Honey…” Erica could barely contain herself as she turned away from me and kicked open her bottom drawer. “The only one wetter than you right now… is me.”
“Prove it.”
Her nose hovered over mine. Her hand grabbed the first thing it found in her drawer. “Maybe later. I’d rather play with you first.”
She gingerly kissed the top of my breast and tugged the bust of my dress. It’s a good thing the dress wasn’t contoured perfectly to my body. Otherwise it might have ripped when she freed my chest from its confines.
But damn did the lift make my breasts look good!
“That’s what I wanna see. If I’m fucking you, I better get a good show to go with it.”
“Do it already!”
“Hmm. Don’t know about that.” How long was she going to draw out my torture? How long until my legs were spread around her waist and our bodies were joined together? Wasn’t she losing her mind too? “Not sure you’re ready for me.”
“Dare you to stick your fingers back in my pussy and tell me that.”
Apparently, I had dared her. Because she filled me as much as I could stand, a grin of cold, calculated sexuality dripping off her face.
“No. You’re not ready for me.”
“Jesus, are you packing a porn star’s dick in your drawer? How loose do you want me?”
“You have the dirtiest mouth when you’re horny, Natalie.”
“Because you’ve left me in agony over…” The buzzing returned. Oh, no. Oh, God. Here it came.
Here I came.
She put me through the proverbial wringer for the next five minutes. Whenever the vibrator rested on my clit, I sang like a fucking bird in need of caging. Or maybe I needed to be released from my cage. There was something to be said about Erica Mann shoving me in my birdcage so she could have her way with me.
When the whole thing slid inside of me, I wailed like a ghost with unfinished business.
She knew what she was doing when she tied me up. I couldn’t turn over. I couldn’t grab her hand. I couldn’t throw myself into her arms and cover her in the kisses I desperately wanted to bestow upon her beautiful body. All I could do was writhe in the sweet, agonizing pleasure she insisted on making me endure.
Of course I knew what she was doing. Her whole reason for doing this was to get off on my submissive chaos. She wanted me so wound up that all I could do was scream for her to fuck me. With anything.
“Don’t close your legs.” Those were the first words I understood after the buzzing stopped again. My fingers curled around the ropes binding me to the headboard. My legs collapsed against the bed but didn’t close. “Shut your eyes.”
Not hard to obey when I was already so wiped out. My dress felt like a cumbersome wrap against my sweating skin. I didn’t care how much it cost. The thought of Erica cutting it off my body was so enticing that I almost asked her to do it. She could buy me another dress later!
I gave myself over to how good I felt while my lover got ready for me. Because, damn, a girl could get used to being showered with so much erotic attention. It didn’t matter how stressful my day was. It didn’t matter who pissed me off or who tried to make me feel less than them. All that mattered was that I was in this bed and giving myself over to the person I adored.
When you get into kind of headspace… well, I wouldn’t know how to explain it to someone who’s never experienced it. The me of a month ago wouldn’t have understood it. How does one talk about the sweet release they experience when tied up and loved on? Nothing mattered anymore. I was allowed to escape the real world. Time stopped in that bedroom. My only reason for existing was to experience love and pleasure. My lover adored me. She would spend the whole night bringing me to pleasure over and over again. Why not? Why not?
Who cared if we still had responsibilities outside of this room? Who cared what people would think of us? Who cared how I identified, how she identified, when the purest thing we could achieve was how wonderful we felt making love?
The bed sank beneath Erica’s weight. I kept my eyes closed, but the rest of my senses told me that she was between my legs, trousers off but shirt still on, and getting ready to fuck the boring life out of my body and replace it with something completely new.
The anticipation would kill me before she could.
“Say it, Lovely,” she murmured, marking the first time she ever used the name that would wholly be mine, between us. “Beg me to fuck you.”
I felt like it was not so long ago, when she first tied me up and took her sweet time exploring my body inside and out. This was what I had wanted, had anticipated back then. Now I was finally getting it. I didn’t even think of it as in ways I did not expect. No, I expected it to be like this. Her. Me. A part of her that was about to become a part of me.
I didn’t need details. If she told me she could feel it, I believed it. God knew I lay there, every inch of my body trembling in that crazy need to be taken and satisfied.
Her tip teased my entrance. I arched my back and exhaled the rest of my sanity.
“Fuck me!”
It was her pleasure, and soon to be mine.
Poor me. Once I started begging for it, I couldn’t stop. Every inch of her made my toes curl more and my voice echo like an opera singer’s. Fuck being docile. Fuck being demure. My goal in life was to be an animal who couldn’t get enough sex. You know how it is… you reach that point where you’ve already come so much that your body is 100% okay with the party continuing. You could go all night. All week. Forever. The only thing stopping you was the mortal coil screaming at you to take a fucking break from the fucking!
I was not to the point yet. I was so far from that point that my brain was once more alight with the need to endlessly come.
“Fuck me!”
Erica silenced me with her tongue plunging into my throat. I didn’t know she was tall enough to fuck me and kiss me at the same time. The one-two punch of her hips and her tongue sent me over the edge almost immediately, and there I was, the freak she had wanted.
I want to laugh thinking back on it. But when I remember how good it felt to have her take me with my arms tied up and my mouth owned by hers, I am still overcome with little shudders of warmth.
That’s how good it was. That’s how much I treasure the memory of that innocent night.
Yes. Innocent.
Having her on top of me. Inside of me. Within me, heart and body… I wanted to cry. I did cry in more than one way. I cried into her mouth. I cried in that unforgettable amount of ecstasy that ruins a woman’s ability to make sound, rational decisions… and she’s grateful for it.
This was it. I was in love. I would do anything for Erica Mann. I would do anything for Eric Mann. They were the same in my eyes. I knew that whoever she was in that moment, she would always make love to me with this same intensity.
My thoughts faded, because I was incapable of any function beyond accepting her love.
She told me to come for her, so I did, over and over, until my legs were useless and the core of my body well-loved. Even so, I begged her to stay inside of me. If she left me, I wouldn’t feel whole. The only thing I wanted her to do was untie me so I could embrace her in my arms.
Sore, yes. Incapable of hugging her? Absolutely not.
My hand snaked beneath her shirt and touched the edge of her binder. Would it be too much for me to take it off and suck her nipples? My oral fixation wasn’t satisfied with kisses. I wanted to put my mouth all over her body and taste her essence. She had yet to ask for, or even allow me to, go down on her. I wasn’t opposed, and I wasn’t totally inexperienced in that area. In fact, I was a bit put out she wouldn’t let me do
it.
Maybe tonight. Maybe she now trusted me enough with her body that I could do with it as I pleased like she did with me.
“Did you like that, Lovely?”
If she could interrupt me while I spoke, then I could do the same to her. I barely let the sound of my pet name utter from her lips before I kissed them with whatever energy I had left. “If I weren’t mortal, I’d ask for more.”
“It was pretty satisfying in both directions, wasn’t it?”
“You mean it’s over?”
“Like you said, you’re mortal.”
“Only between the legs. Surely there’s more for you…”
She didn’t hesitate. “You would be interested in doing something for me?”
“Why wouldn’t I be? I’m not that selfish.” Then again, this was as much about me as it was about her. I was my fair share of selfish in this situation.
I didn’t want to admit how good it felt when she finally did pull out. Sure, I missed her presence within my body, but now I could close my legs and get ready for the next round, whenever that would be.
“There might be something you could do for me.”
She was the one on the bed now. I was the one hovering over her, my sensitive nipple grazing the silk of her shirt. I stroked her collar bone and lightly spread my thumb and forefinger around her neck. She didn’t flinch. “Anything, baby.”
Erica didn’t comment on my choice of pet name. It was a work in progress, anyway. We can’t all nail it on the first try like she did. “It’s a bit unconventional, but I’ve been fantasizing about it ever since you gave me a certain look on your first day of work.”
I dared to touch her thigh, careful to avoid the wet appendage. “Can I take this off and put my lips on yours?”
Erica considered my sincerity before responding. “I’d rather keep it on, if you know what I mean.”