by Reed, Zoe
“I’m with Kyla,” I told him impatiently.
He looked me over and then poked his head through the door. “Kyla!” After a few seconds she materialized at the entrance. “She with you?” the man asked her, motioning to me.
Kyla nodded and grabbed me by the hand, hauling me inside and to a dark corner behind one of the many black curtains. I glanced curiously around the darkened area and then back at her, wondering why I’d been dragged somewhere private.
“Kyla, you’re on next,” someone called from the large room around us.
With that she gaped at me, eyes wide with panic. “Camille, I’m freaking out. I’ve never been so nervous.”
“You’re going to do great,” I chuckled, trying to be reassuring. “I’ve heard you sing and play guitar, you’re amazing.”
She shook her head frantically and grabbed my shoulders, giving me a shake for emphasis. “No, you don’t get it. I’m freaking out. My fingers are itching, I don’t know how much longer I can control it.”
Now that I understood the severity of what she was saying I peeked out of our curtained corner, starting to panic as well. There was a glowing exit sign on the opposite side of the room. “You don’t have to perform. Come on, let’s go.” I grabbed her hand and was about to pull her to the exit, but she held fast.
“I won’t make it,” she told me, shaking out her hands and taking in a deep breath as her panic grew. “Oh God, I can feel it coming. Don’t let me hurt anyone.”
I could feel in my proximity to her how serious she was. She was on the edge, and the band on stage sounded like their song was coming to an end. My eyes darted around frantically. What could I do? I was about to slap her across the face, but stopped. That always pissed her off, making a Change more likely. Should I just attempt to drag her out of here anyway? My heart was racing, and there was nothing else I could think of. Before I could even consciously consider the idea, and how bad of an idea it was, I put my hand behind Kyla’s head and pulled her into a kiss. At first I feared the worst. The second her lips touched mine her body stiffened against me, her closed fists set against my chest like she was going to push me away, and I thought I’d failed. But then she relaxed, she melted into me, and I could feel all the tension of holding back a Change vanish in the blink of an eye.
Job done, and knowing I would hate myself for this later, I was about to pull away. But Kyla’s hands opened against my chest, then slid steadily up until her arms wrapped around my neck. The brunette’s lips pressed harder against my own, increasingly eager, like she wanted more than what I was already giving her. So I gave in, and I gave more. My arms snaked around the small of Kyla’s back, pulling the girl’s body closer to mine. I backed her into the wall behind us so I could get even closer. And when Kyla’s tongue begged entrance, I gave of it freely. As hard as I fought it, I couldn’t stop myself from being lost in the kiss.
It was the first kiss since Kyla had been Changed, and it was infinitely more powerful than the first ever had been. Each time her lips moved against my own her arms tightened around my neck, like she was holding me up because she knew my head was swimming. Each time I grazed her lower lip with my teeth I could feel the purr in her core. And each time I pressed her harder against the wall to get even closer, she pressed right back. Then all at once I came to the realization that this kiss would probably be our last, and I’d have to enjoy it as such. The thought hurt me, and even more it scared me, and because of that I didn’t ever want it to stop.
So when the crew called Kyla’s name for her to prepare to go on stage, I bit into her lip one last time. Because I didn’t want this to end, because I didn’t want her to leave, because I was angry at her for making me feel this way, and most of all, because after this was done I wanted her to remember it. I’d wanted to bite hard, but I still bit harder than I’d meant to. It was hard enough to break skin, and for Kyla to have to wipe away the blood that surfaced with the back of her hand. When she pulled away to stare at me in silent shock, I could do nothing but stare right back, surprised at myself for letting it go so far.
“Kyla, front and center!” the man, that annoying, annoying man, called again, this time impatiently.
I wondered why she wasn’t leaving to perform, or at least saying something. Then I realized I still had her pinned against the wall, my arms still wrapped tight around her waist, my body still pressed as close as it could get. I dropped my arms and reluctantly pulled myself away, Kyla still staring at me.
“Kyla!” the man called again, this time getting closer, and then mumbling to himself he pulled back the curtain we were behind. “Are you Kyla?” Slowly, as if dazed, Kyla looked at him and nodded. “Well, let’s go,” he motioned for her to follow him. “You got about ten seconds before you’re on.”
As Kyla began to follow him she walked backward, still focused on me. I tried hard to decipher what it was I saw there, in those bright green eyes that watched me, but I couldn’t tell. Before she turned around to take her place backstage her tongue flicked to the blood that had resurfaced on her lip, and then her eyes were gone. The second I knew I was no longer being watched I collapsed to the floor, where I stayed for less than a second before I stood.
I couldn’t wait here. If I had to see her again I might lose it, might break down. I had to hold it together, at least until I got back to my dorm. The green glow of the backstage exit sign caught my eye, and I darted for it, sprinting to the car the second the door closed behind me. If it was at all possible for me to get back to the school in less time than I’d gotten to The Orchid, I did. As I got off the elevator I made to sprint for my room, almost knocking down someone on my way there.
“Hey, Camille?” I had my door open and was halfway inside my room by the time the guy caught up with me. It was the other werewolf, the one I hardly ever saw. Nathan. William had a room on this floor, they must have been hanging out. “Hey, are you okay?”
I’d been moving so fast up until this point that my emotions hadn’t been able to catch up with me. Now that I stopped and turned to face him, it hit me like a ton of bricks. The pain, the shock, the frustration. I’d gone to the show to finally be just friends with Kyla, and what did I do? The complete opposite – I kissed her and didn’t pull away when I should have. What about her kissing me back? No. She was a freshly bitten werewolf who, as far as I knew, hadn’t gotten laid. She reacted the way I assumed any wolf in her situation would have, and there was no way I could let myself accept any other explanation. Not if I wanted to keep my sanity.
As Nathan stood there waiting for an answer I looked him up and down. I could seduce him if I wanted to. Isn’t that what most people did after a breakup? They had a rebound? As far as I knew it was supposed to make you feel better. Maybe that’s what I needed. At least I imagined it would help me forget about the pain for a while. I grew disgusted with myself before I let the idea go any further. I didn’t even like guys. I’d never been with anyone sexually. How could I even consider the thought? I was desperate, desperate to forget what I wanted so badly for Kyla to remember.
“No, I’m okay, thanks.” I knew Nathan was about to say something else, but I closed the door anyway.
After I shut it I leaned my back against it, sliding to floor as I once again collapsed. Then I let them go. The tears I’d been holding back now flowed freely down my cheeks. Every once in a while my shoulders shook, rocked by a profound sob. I sat there for about an hour until my body was sore and the salty tears had made my skin raw. Then I stood, looking around for my mp3 player, and when I found it I put my headphones in my ears, turned it all the way up, and lay on my bed. If anyone came to the door I didn’t want to hear them. I especially didn’t want to hear if Kyla came looking for me. I just couldn’t look the girl in the eyes. Not yet. The tears still ran until my pillow was soaked, but eventually I fell asleep.
I couldn’t hear anything, so I don’t know what it was that woke me up in the middle of the night. Maybe it was the cold breeze that came thro
ugh the window, which had been closed when I’d lain down. Or maybe it was the hands I could feel coming toward me, even with my eyes closed. Without having time to think about it my instincts kicked in, and I flew at my attacker. We both crashed to the ground beside my bed, and I had my hands around my assailant’s head, ready to break his or her neck, when the familiar scent wafted to my nose.
I dropped my target and angrily pulled the headphones out of my ears. “Jesus Christ, Luna.” I sat there catching my breath, my heart still beating what felt like a million times a second. “Dumbass, I almost killed you just now.” Luna stood, chuckling, and made her way over to the light switch to flip it on. I glared, still furious at my twin for scaring me, and kicked at the bed in frustration. “I’m serious. You of all people should know better than to sneak up on a sleeping werewolf.” I reached up and tugged closed the window that she’d sneaked through.
She ignored me and sat down on the bed, studying me for a second. “Dude, you look like shit.” She glanced around curiously, and no doubt noticed the mascara stains on the pillow, because then she looked back at me, finally getting serious. “Have you been crying?” I just nodded, holding back a fresh flow of tears that had been replenished by a few hours of sleep. If there was anything I hated, it was being vulnerable, but I’d been holding back the pain as best I could for months, and I couldn’t do it any longer. “What happened?”
I stared hard at the floor, unable to look my sister in the eye. “Me and Kyla. We kissed.”
Confusion spread across Luna’s face. “Shouldn’t that be a good thing?”
“She’s kind of been seeing someone else. I don’t know how serious they are.” I shook my head, reminding myself of the point. “She was supposed to perform in a talent show tonight, and she got so nervous that she was about to Change. I didn’t know what else to do, so I kissed her.” It was clear on Luna’s face that she was sad at seeing me in this state, but she didn’t say anything, so I continued. “And it worked. I was just going to pull away and forget about the whole thing, but then she kissed me. I mean really kissed me, and I couldn’t help it, I just kissed her back.” A tear made its way down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away, refusing to let myself cry again.
“But, she kissed you too,” Luna said, clearly in hopes that it would make me feel better.
“You know how the urges get, I mean, you’re the biggest horndog out there.” Even in my emotional state I couldn’t resist teasing my sister, and the jab made me smile just a little. “Of course she kissed me back, and remember, the somebody else.”
She nodded understandingly and sat there in silence, unsure of what to say.
“Whatever. I can’t keep doing this to myself. I got to let it go. That’s what everyone’s been telling me to do anyway,” I said and straightened up, attempting to change the subject so I could push it out of my mind. “When did you get here?”
“A few hours ago,” she said, and received a curious glance from me. “I was with Will for a little bit.”
“See.” I couldn’t help but giggle. “Horndog.” Luna just shrugged, unable to defend herself. “And didn’t I tell you that you’d miss me enough to run here eventually. You did run here, right?”
She just smirked. “Yeah, but who said I ran here for you?”
“Don’t lie, I know you did.” I glared at my sister, and now that I was beginning to make myself forget about earlier that night, I was starting to realize how much I’d missed her. “How’re Mom and Dad, and everyone?”
“They’re good,” she told me with a smile. “We all miss you. Sky was going to come with me, but Eli called her and Michael with a job at the last minute.”
I nodded understandingly. I would’ve loved to see my older sister, but when Eli sent Sky and Michael on jobs for the Pack, I knew it was important. “Did Will tell you what’s been going on here? You shouldn’t have even come by yourself.”
“Yeah, he told me,” Luna said, laughing. William must have been frantic that she’d come by herself judging by how amusing she found it. “And I already told him I’ll let you guys run me back to the Oregon border if you want to.”
I sat there thoughtfully for a moment before I stood. “Are you too tired from your escapades, or are you up for a run?”
She jumped up excitedly and followed me to the door. “I’m always up for a run.”
I grinned and led my sister out the building. A run was the perfect thing for me to do to spend time with Luna while also providing an escape. And run I would, until I could barely breathe and all I could think about is how tired my legs are.
“Camille.” I knocked on the blonde’s dorm room door, harder this time than I had before, and the hundred times before that. “Camille, if you’re there, please let me in.”
A boy in the room next to hers opened his door and squinted in the bright light of the halls. “Hey, can you like, shut up or something?” I glared at him, a look that must have appeared fiercer than I thought, because without saying anything else he went back inside.
I knew it was six a.m. on a Sunday morning and that everyone else probably wanted to sleep in, but I didn’t care. Now Camille was probably avoiding me, avoiding having to explain why she’d kissed me. I mean, I knew why she’d kissed me in the first place, and I was lucky that it actually did stop the Change. Then I found how much I’d missed her lips, or the feel of her body, and even though I knew she just wanted to be friends, I couldn’t help but want more. The confusing part to me was when she kissed me back, and it wasn’t just a kiss. There was more passion in that small moment than there had ever been when we were together.
After my performance I’d gone back to look for her, but she was gone, nowhere at The Orchid. As soon as I could leave I’d went to her dorm, but if she was there she wasn’t answering. Now she was avoiding me, maybe because she felt bad for leading me on. Or maybe because she knew I’d want some kind of explanation.
“Camille!” I raised my voice a little louder and knocked again, but still, nothing.
A door cracked open a bit further down the hall, and a sleep-bogged Will stuck his head into the hallway. “What are you doing?” he asked me, his voice deep and groggy.
“I’m looking for Camille,” I told him, making my way toward his room. “Have you seen her?”
He stepped out in just pajama pants, every strand of his long hair going a different direction. “Uh,” he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he tried to wake up enough to form another sentence. “Luna came last night, they probably went out.”
“Oh.” My eyes dropped in disappointment. Not just because Camille really wasn’t there and probably wouldn’t be back for a long time, but also because I would’ve liked to see Luna. The small, quirky blonde had been one of my best friends, especially after the Change, and I missed her quite a bit. “How long is Luna going to be here?”
“I think she’s leaving tonight, probably around seven,” Will said, putting his hands in the pockets of his pants and leaning his head against the doorframe.
“Thanks.” I gave him an apologetic smile. “Sorry I woke you up.”
He nodded and slipped back into his room, leaving me alone in the empty hall. Usually Camille and I went together to training on Sunday mornings, and normally we didn’t leave until at least seven-thirty. As I sauntered back to the elevator I figured I might as well go to the house now and see if anyone was around. Since I was already dressed and ready to go, I went straight down to the first floor and out to the jeep. When I got on the main road to the house I pulled out my cellphone. I’d already called Camille a few times and, since I’d probably already come off as desperate, figured it wouldn’t matter if I called again. However, just like every other time, it rang until voicemail picked up, and just like every other time I didn’t bother leaving message. She knew what I was calling about.
I wistfully pushed open the front door of the Pack house and listened intently, but I couldn’t hear anyone talking. Everyone must still be sleeping. Then I inh
aled through my nose, catching what I’d hoped I would, Luna’s scent. So she’d been here sometime, and hopefully that meant Camille had been there too. Along with the many scents there was the faint aroma of coffee, and I followed my nose to the kitchen, where I found Wes sitting at the bar.
“You’re here early,” he mused when he saw me come in, and took a sip from his mug.
I plopped down in a stool across from him and shrugged. “I’ve been looking for Camille. Have you seen her?”
“I heard her and her sister come in for a few minutes last night, around three I think,” he told me with a thoughtful nod. “It sounded like they left out the back.”
“To run?” I asked thoughtfully, to which Wes gave a half nod, half shrug.
“What happened to your lip?” he asked, and when I looked up he was studying my bottom lip carefully.
I touched the small cut with my fingertips. It had been bruised the night before, but because of our accelerated healing it was now just a blood red nick. There was one on the inside of my lip too, which I mindlessly ran my tongue over. “Camille.” Even more confusing than the fact that she’d kissed me back was that she bit me hard enough to draw blood. It was out of character for her, and I hadn’t the slightest clue why she’d done it, but now, every time my tongue touched the inside of my lip I got a vivid reminder of the kiss.
“She hit you?” Wes asked, an eyebrow raised in shock. “That doesn’t seem like her.”
“No, she didn’t hit me.” I shook my head and then stood, not wanting to talk about it. “I’ll be right back.”
I could feel him staring after me curiously as I made my way out of the kitchen and headed for the glass room. When I reached it I walked through the glass doors to the outside and to the waterproof box we always put our clothes in when we ran. Sure enough, when I opened it there were two sets of clothing inside. One I knew was Camille’s, and the other was drenched in Luna’s scent. I rummaged through it for a moment and then pulled out the cellphone I also recognized as Camille’s. That explains her not answering my calls. Even though there was that excuse, I knew if she wanted to talk to me then she would have. She wouldn’t have disappeared from the show, and wouldn’t have taken off into the woods with Luna.