Instead, he said, “An hour ago, if someone asked me what I’d be doing tonight, never in a million years would I have said this.”
He was within reach but didn’t touch her. She stared at his chest, unable to look at him as she said honest words. “An hour ago, I was hoping for it.”
“Jeni,” he said quietly. “Look at me.”
She did.
“Are you okay?” His eyes searched hers.
Jeni smiled. “I’m great.”
He nodded. “Good.” He opened the door and stepped back. A muscle flickered in his jaw, and he seemed to be considering what to say. “So, I’ll see you later?”
That’s it? Jeni swallowed. “Yeah. See ya.”
She walked to her car, the light from his doorway shining on the lawn. When she started the engine and backed out of the driveway, he finally closed the door.
Jeni suddenly felt bereft, and it confused her. This was exactly what she wanted, right? She’d wanted sex, and Logan gave it to her. And it was everything she knew she was missing.
The problem was—once wouldn’t be enough.
* * *
Logan hijacked almost every single thought in Jeni’s mind for two days straight. She finally felt a reprieve on Sunday when she found herself at Arrowhead Stadium surrounded by seventy-five thousand Chiefs fans. The crowd thundered around her, and as soon as the kicker’s foot hit the ball at kickoff, she was all in. In no time she was on her feet and focused on nothing but the field, excitement pumping through her veins.
“Come on, ref! Where are you looking? He’s all over our guy!” Jeni turned to Rhonda, who had come in Andrew’s stead after he’d said he wasn’t feeling well. Naturally, Valerie and their mom had high-tailed it to his condo, and he was well cared for. “Did you see that?”
Rhonda was equally red-faced. “Oh, I saw it. What I didn’t see”—she faced the field— “was a flag!” She sat down and cross her arms.
They called a TV timeout, so Jeni sat down as well. “Remind me never to see a game in enemy territory again.”
“You’re full of shit. You love this, and you know it.”
Rhonda was right. Jeni loved coming to live football games. It was so much more fun than watching on television, even if it was from the other guy’s stadium. Jeni was pleasantly surprised to find a couple seated behind them in Broncos shirts, and though it was just halfway through the first quarter, the four were friends already.
“Gotta pee.” Rhonda stood and inched out of the row. They were only three from the end, which was nice. The seats were incredible, right on the fifty-yard line and ten rows up from the sideline. Jeni wondered how Logan scored such awesome seats. Were they his? Or did he just get the hook up because he was an employee?
Jeni frowned. She’d successfully avoided thinking about him since the game started. Which had only been fifteen minutes, but she counted that progress.
She hadn’t heard from him once in the two days since they’d had sex. She had no clue how these things normally worked and told herself it was probably normal. Even so, those days of silence had her second-guessing how good it had been for him. There was no downplaying the fact that Logan was mind-blowing in bed. He’d rocked her world, and at the time, she’d have sworn he had a good time too.
But it didn’t take much for a guy to enjoy sex, did it? Had their night been a one-time thing? Had he already been with another woman since, someone who knew what she was doing?
She pushed Logan out of her head and looked around for a distraction during the timeout. The couple sitting by the aisle were nice but serious Chiefs fans and season ticket holders. Other than the couple behind Jeni, everyone around her seemed to be regular attendees who all knew each other. The two seats on her other side had been vacant since she and Rhonda arrived, and Jeni used the seat next to her as a purse holder.
Several minutes later, two older women came toward her, and they were headed for those two chairs. They were probably in their seventies and decked out in Chiefs gear. It would have been obnoxious on guy but on little old ladies?
“You two look awesome,” Jeni said with a grin, removing her purse from the seat beside her.
The first woman eyed Jeni’s Broncos jersey as she passed. “You look terrible.”
“Orange isn’t your color, dear,” the other said, looking like she was fighting a grin.
Jeni burst out laughing. “Might want to check the scoreboard before you start trash-talking.”
The first lady waved a hand in dismissal. “It’s only the first quarter. Our guys know to start slow and finish big. Works in football and in the bedroom.”
Jeni’s eyes went wide.
The second lady rolled her eyes and patted Jeni on the arm. “Ignore her. Don’t worry, she’ll tone it down if you have a kiddo with you. Are you a foster parent?”
“Um, no.” What an odd question. She intended to be someday, but with the recent move and job change, she wasn’t quite ready yet.
Both ladies looked at her with confusion, and Jeni felt like she was supposed to say more.
“I do work for the child welfare office though,” was all she came up with. Why were they looking at her like that?
Something about that helped because they both smiled and nodded.
“Oh, I see,” the first lady said.
Before Jeni could say anything else, Rhonda returned, eyeing the new ladies with amusement. “That’s going to be us someday.”
Jeni laughed. “Damn straight.”
Her phone vibrated in her pocket.
Logan: Find the seats okay?
A thread of warmth seeped into her skin at his name on her screen.
Jeni: Yes, they’re awesome. Thanks again.
Logan: Good. Have fun.
Jeni: Are you here?
Logan: Yeah.
Jeni: Where?
Logan: It’s a secret.
Jeni pursed her lips and jumped in surprise when Rhonda yelled something next to her.
Jeni: Gotta go, my Broncos need me.
Logan: You’re right, they do. Gonna step in as quarterback?
Jeni: I was a star pitcher in my day. I could throw a football.
Logan: It’s harder than it looks.
Jeni: That’s what she said.
Jeni: Also, you’re going down.
Logan: We’ll see about that.
Chapter Twelve
Final score:
Logan - 1
Jeni - 0
Or Chiefs 24, Broncos 14. However one said it, the outcome was the same.
Logan would never let Jeni live it down. At the end of the fourth quarter when there was no way the Broncos could come back, he’d run to the closest shop in the lower level of the stadium and bought a women’s Chiefs T-shirt. At the register, he picked up a small Chiefs helmet too, about the size of a golf ball.
He’d hardly been able to think of anything but her since that night. He’d gone through it over and over in his head, trying to figure out exactly what happened. To him, to her, to them.
He hadn’t fucked her.
He hadn’t made love to her.
What they’d done landed somewhere in the middle. The best way he could think to describe it was…intimate.
Intensely intimate.
Whatever it was, it had been different. He’d felt a pressure in his chest, a thickness in his throat, and a foreign sense of wholeness as she lay beneath him, looking up into his eyes. It terrified him, but he couldn’t figure out why. Wasn’t a connection like that what he’d been looking for all this time, what he wanted?
He’d never felt with another woman the way he had with Jeni. Was it because he knew her beforehand? That they were sort of friends first? Was it because she was Andrew’s sister and she was like forbidden fruit?
He didn’t know. He just wanted to be back at Mateo’s with her, talking and laughing over tacos and beer. And he wanted her in his bed again.
In that order, which was the part that was messed up. For him
anyway.
His phone vibrated in his pocket and his heart leapt with anticipation that it was Jeni. She was probably texting with a list of excuses of why the Chiefs didn’t deserve to win. He’d give her the questionable pass interference call in the third quarter, but otherwise it had been a fair game.
Logan looked at the screen, disappointed for a split second when he saw it wasn’t her. It was about her though, and he smiled. He loved the seventy-something-year-old sisters who shared the seats next to his.
Sally: Cute girl in your seat today.
Logan: Don’t get too excited. She’s just a friend.
Sally: Margaret talked shit to her the entire game. Your girlfriend gave it right back. She’s a feisty one.
Logan: Not my girlfriend. And I don’t think you’re supposed to say ‘talked shit’ at your age.
Sally: I can say anything I want at my age. Has your mom met your girl?
Logan: We’re done here.
Sally: Say hello to your mother for us.
Logan: I will. You can expect regular visitors in the seats next week.
Sally: OK. Don’t forget to invite us to the wedding.
Logan: Bye Sally.
* * *
The Monday after a game was always busy at the office. Logan didn’t have time to be distracted, so it was particularly irritating that he thought about Jeni at least once every ten minutes.
Jeni’s frown.
Jeni’s smile.
Jeni naked.
That one was his favorite, but not ideal to picture while discussing marketing strategy with Mr. Knipplemeier, his fifty-year-old boss.
There was no question he’d still have work to do when he got home tonight. He put his elbow on his desk and rubbed his forehead. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his phone screen light up.
Andrew: Lunch?
Damn, it was awkward to get a text from Andrew when he’d just been thinking about Jeni’s soft, smooth skin.
Jeni: Can’t today. I have a home visit at noon.
Logan perked up when he saw her name. He hadn’t realized this was a group text. Then he read what she’d said. Home visit. Memories flashed through his mind at the words, and he quickly shook his head to clear them.
Logan: I’m swamped today too. Tomorrow?
Andrew: I can do that.
Jeni: I’ll let you know.
Logan sat there for a moment then switched to a private text with Jeni. He’d had a lot of sleepless nights lately and done a lot of thinking. He didn’t have it all figured out, but he did have some things to talk to her about, and maybe seeing her in person would bring him some clarity.
Logan: Avoiding me?
Jeni: I kind of thought it was the other way around.
Logan: I’m sorry I haven’t called. Can you stop by tonight? I have something for you, and I want to talk to you.
Jeni: What time?
Logan: Sometime after 6.
Jeni: I’ll come after dinner.
Logan couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. Now that he knew he was seeing her tonight, he was able to focus a little better for the rest of the day. He arrived home a little before six and immediately changed into jeans and his favorite gray T-shirt. He warmed up leftover chicken and ate in front of the television, trying to calm his nerves with a mindless sitcom.
It didn’t work, so he went through what he wanted to say to her. No matter how he put the words together, it sounded ridiculous. There was no way she’d go for it.
No one else ever has.
He sighed and clenched his fists, determined to try anyway. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? He wasn’t one hundred percent sure why he wanted to go for it either, but as he’d lay in bed the night before, thinking and unable to sleep, his plan had seemed like a good idea.
When someone wanted a different outcome, they should change their approach, right?
Seven o’clock rolled around, and along with it, the Monday Night Football game. The Patriots were playing, and they were a fun team to watch no matter what. After he made his proposition, would Jeni stay and watch it with him?
When she knocked on the door, the nerves in his stomach increased tenfold. He opened the door wide and stood aside. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself.” She smiled as she walked past, leaving a trail of vanilla in her wake. “Is the game on?”
By the time he could respond, she was already in front of the television. She settled on the couch, eyes on the screen.
Logan smirked and closed the door before walking back to the living room. “Want a beer?”
She grinned. “Always.”
He went to the kitchen to grab her one and brought it to her. She was wearing yoga pants again, dammit. And her hair was down, like a golden-brown waterfall across her back. If he pulled her onto his lap it would be all over his chest—
Logan mentally reset himself and sat in the chair beside the couch, ignoring the raised eyebrow she shot his way. He needed to keep his distance if he was going to get this out.
The game was on a commercial break, and he had her attention. It was now or never.
“Jeni,” he began, but the words got stuck in his throat. How was he supposed to say this?
She waited a moment, and when he couldn’t seem to keep going, she said, “You said you had something for me?”
“Oh, yeah.” Thankful for the opportunity to delay the conversation he’d planned, he jumped up and retrieved the bag from his bedroom. He handed it to her and sat back down.
She pulled out the Chiefs T-shirt and tiny helmet then shoved them both back into the bag, dropping it at her feet. “I hate you,” she said, lips fighting a smile.
Logan jerked his head back theatrically. “Is that how you thank someone for a gift?”
“A gift like that? Yes.”
“I just thought you might want to cross over. See what it’s like to root for a winning team.”
“We’ll see you in the playoffs.” She glared at him, and his grin widened. It was sexy as hell when her eyes flashed like that.
Damn, she was incredible. A tiny voice in the back of his mind asked what on earth she could possibly see in him, but he forced it down. “I look forward to it.”
She huffed out a breath and leaned back. At least she hadn’t stormed out the door.
The game came back on, and they watched in silence for a while, except for the occasional comment about a play or referee call. He peeled at the label of his beer bottle, and when the next commercial began, he couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“I…I have something to say,” Logan announced. What the hell was wrong with him? Was that a necessary preamble?
Jeni’s brow furrowed, but she simply waited for him to keep going.
“I want to date you, Jeni,” he blurted, just as surprised by saying the words out loud as she appeared to be hearing them.
Her frown deepened. “What did you just say?”
“I want to date you.”
“Were you listening the other night? I said I don’t want a relationship.”
He nodded. “I heard you. But I’ve done a lot of thinking since then. About what you said that night and the night we ate at Mateo’s when we talked about my, um…sexual past in particular. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed, but I did start to reflect on it. And I think you made a good point when you said real connection comes from a place deeper than the physical.”
She bit the corner of her lip, and his eyes dropped there, desire filling him.
Ignore it. Keep going.
He took in a shaky breath and stood up, needing to move. “I don’t seek out physical-only relationships, but it seems to be where I usually end up. Maybe I haven’t had a long-term relationship because I have unrealistic expectations about sex too, just in a different way. Every time I’ve gone there with a woman, things end pretty quickly because one of us feels like something’s missing. I suddenly realized that maybe it’s because of me and what I was hoping sex would bring to
the relationship. I thought I was connecting with those women, but the only place I got to know them was in the bedroom.” He put his hands in his front pockets. “So, I want to try something different. I want a relationship that starts without sex as the primary element.”
Jeni looked stunned. She pointed to her chest. “And you want that with me?”
“Yes. When I was with you, it was different. Nothing was missing. It was damn near perfect. I don’t want to mess that up like I have with everyone else.”
She stared at him for a second, and then her countenance completely changed. She threw her hands in the air. “What’s wrong with you?”
A lot of things, probably. “Nothing.”
“I told you I wanted a fling. A no-strings attached, just sex, no-relationship-expectations-type thing.”
“And I want the complete opposite.”
“That’s ridiculous. A real relationship would never work with us.”
“Why not?”
“Have you ever even had one?”
“Not really, no.”
Her eyes went wide.
“Don’t look so surprised. I’ve been honest with you.”
Jeni pursed her lips. “Well, I have, and it didn’t work out so well.”
“That doesn’t matter to me.”
Her tone softened. “You could have any woman you want.”
“As luck would have it, I want you.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think you do. I think we were good together and you’re confusing the desire to sleep together again with that for a relationship.”
“I don’t want to sleep with you again.”
Jeni laughed once. “You’re lying.”
“I know.” And how. “And old Logan would give in to that, hoping sex would eventually turn into something more. I don’t know why I haven’t seen it before, but now that I look back, it’s never worked out that way. So, I want to try something new, in the hopes the outcome is different.” It could be the way he’d always gone about things or it could be him, and he was hoping for the former. Especially now that he’d met Jeni. He raked a hand through his hair. “With you, I don’t want to sacrifice what I want most for what I want right now.”
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