Home Sweet Mess

by Allison Ashley

  Logan sat unnaturally still, watching her.

  Now that she’d gotten the first part out, she took the time to really study him. He needed a haircut, and he looked tired. Were those circles under his eyes?

  He rubbed the back of his neck then dropped his hand. “Okay.”

  “Okay?” she echoed.

  He nodded. “Yes. I’ll hire you. You’re right. I need someone. Not just to help me out but the organization deserves the full attention of a formal director. The families we serve deserve a more organized service. You’re already familiar with everything, from the foster families to the nonprofit. Win-win.”

  “Wow.” Jeni shifted on her feet. “Great then.” She cleared her throat, unsure where to go from here.

  “What’s the other question?” he prompted.

  Jeni opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She’d started with the easier of the two, and while she was pleased with how that one worked out, the question that remained was the real reason she was here. She needed the job, but she wanted this more.

  Her entire heart depended on it.

  “I was hoping you might marry me.”

  Logan’s eyes went wide, and he froze. She might have thought he stopped breathing if it weren’t for the slight tremble in his hands.

  “I’m sorry I’ve been so difficult,” she continued. “I was letting my past experiences determine my future, and I refuse to do that anymore. These few weeks without you has shown me how empty my life is without you. I know I can do whatever I want on my own, but now I don’t want to. From something as simple as making beer to playing softball and serving children in need—it’s all better with you. I want to watch football with you and eat tacos with you, and I damn sure want to make love to you. A lot. And you know what else?”

  His response was a little delayed, like he came out of a trance. “What?” he rasped.

  “I’ll never not love you, Logan Davis. I’ll never not want your lips on mine or your arms wrapped around me. I’ll never not tease you about cheering for the worst team in the NFL. And last but not least, I’ll never not choose you. I’m sorry I took so long, but I choose you as my partner, my teammate, and my husband. If you’ll have me.”

  Logan swallowed visibly and sat back against the cushions, looking stunned and a little bewildered. “What do you love about me?”

  She hated that he needed to ask that, but she hadn’t really been forthcoming with her feelings. Not even to herself and certainly not to him.

  “Everything,” she said with conviction. “I love your heart and compassion. Your dedication to put your all into everything you do. I love that you chose a career in sports and one that brings people together. Your sense of humor. Your taste in movies and the fact that you’d get bored sitting through a documentary because I hate them with a passion. I love watching you play softball and goof off with Andrew. Your laugh is the best sound I’ve ever heard, and your smile completely ends me. I love your loyalty to your family and friends and the fact that I know you’ll be an incredible father. But I also know you’ll never neglect us. Should I keep going?”

  A sweet smile was on his lips, but his eyes remained tentative. He rubbed a hand up and down his forearm.

  He had no idea what that part of his body did to her, did he?

  “How do I know you mean it?” he asked. “That you won’t freak out and throw in the towel the first time things get rough? Or the first time we disagree and someone has to compromise?”

  “You don’t, I guess. I know I haven’t done anything to make you believe that. But I know in my heart this is what I want. I want you, and I need you, and I’ll fight for you. I understand if you need time. We can take it slow, and I’ll show you. Prove to you I’m not a quitter, and I’m in this one hundred percent. However long you need—”

  Logan stood then, and she stopped speaking. He rounded the table, his blue eyes boring into hers. He shook his head, and her heart plummeted, threatening to break into a million tiny shards of pain.

  “I don’t need time,” he said. “If you’re serious and you mean this, we’re getting married. Like, now.”

  “Now?” she squeaked.

  He took one step forward, and only a few inches between them remained. He radiated warmth and life, and looking at him right now was like standing in the sun, face turned toward the sky.

  “Well, not now now,” he said. “But tomorrow, maybe. Next week. Actually, I don’t really care when, just as long as you’re in.”

  She nodded. They still weren’t touching, but she didn’t want to make the first move. Her skin tingled and her heart raced, and her gaze moved across his face to take in his beautiful eyes, messy hair, and addictive lips. “There’s one more thing.”

  “Oh?”

  Jeni moved back a little and took off the long-sleeved shirt she wore, revealing the Chiefs T-shirt underneath.

  The smile on his face in that moment was everything. It devastated her and restored her all at once.

  “You must know how much I love you to wear this.”

  “Nothing else you could do would mean more to me,” he said with a grin.

  Jeni’s eyes tracked down his body. “Remember what you said? When you gave this to me?”

  He lifted his eyes from her chest and the emblem emblazoned there, gaze burning.

  “I can’t recall, exactly,” he said in a husky voice.

  “I believe the gist was you’d consider my earlier proposition if I wore it.”

  Logan coughed a little. “Um. Aren’t those propositions null and void? Now that we’re engaged?”

  He had a point. “Yes. But that doesn’t change the fact that I want you. Do you want me?”

  Instead of answering, he asked another question. “You want to be with me for real?”

  “Yes.”

  “Forever?”

  “Yes.”

  “We’re getting married someday?”

  “We’re getting married someday.”

  “Soon?”

  “I said ye—”

  Jeni’s response was cut off when Logan lurched forward, his hands on either side of her face, his mouth suddenly on hers in a kiss that was forceful and passionate and exactly what she needed. She sucked air in through her nose and pressed against his hard chest, her arms curving around his shoulders and back.

  The worry and heartache that had built inside her over the last several weeks melted away with each touch and each press of his lips. His hands slid down to circle her waist, and she pulled her face back a little, lifting her hands to trace the wavy hair along his temples.

  “I want you to keep the shirt on.” His voice was low and deep.

  Fire exploded in her belly. She bit her lower lip. “Okay.”

  His eyes dropped to her mouth and stayed there for a moment, and Jeni thought her heart might beat right out of her chest. He met her eyes again and tipped his head to the hallway.

  She nodded eagerly, and seconds later they were in his bedroom, on his bed, limbs tangled and lips searching. His heavy breaths matched hers as various pieces of clothing came off—except the bright red T-shirt.

  Logan hovered above her, the muscles in his arms and torso flexing with each move he made. Her skin was like a live wire, lighting up with every touch of his fingertips.

  “I can’t be slow this time,” he said, his palm on the column of her throat, firm but not painful, fingers on her jaw as he nipped at her ear.

  “Good,” she managed to get out. It was difficult to focus with his other hand roaming, but she was coherent enough to recognize that Logan Davis unhinged was something she wanted to experience. “I don’t want slow.”

  He groaned, the deep vibration echoing through every cell in her body. His lips crashed down on hers, his tongue sliding inside her mouth. She arched up, wrapping one leg around his hips, searching.

  Searching…

  “I love you.

  “I know.”

  …and finding.

  * * *

/>   Logan pressed his forehead lightly against hers. “I’m gonna love this body every day for the rest of my life.”

  He slowly slid his fingers underneath the red shirt and across her ribcage, and she sucked in a shaky breath. She still hadn’t fully recovered from what just transpired.

  “When you do, you love more than my body.” She took his hand and pressed it to her chest, right over her pounding heart. “I feel it in here. In my veins and in my bones. In my soul.”

  His face transformed to something serious, almost severe with emotion. “That’s kind of the whole point.”

  His words went straight to the deepest part of her.

  “I never knew,” she whispered.

  “Neither did I.”

  He kissed her, slow and deep, for several moments. When they parted, he smiled down at her. “So, are you a Chiefs fan now?”

  “Nope.”

  “Come on.” He raised a brow. “Not even after that?”

  “Let’s see what you can do when I wear green.”

  “Won’t be the same for me.”

  “Are you saying it wasn’t me but the Chiefs that turned you on? That’s a little weird.”

  “It was you in the Chiefs shirt.”

  “Still.”

  He chuckled. “Rethinking this whole marriage thing?”

  “I don’t know. Throw something else into the pot to sweeten the deal.”

  Logan pushed up on his arms, muscles taut. She almost said that visual was enough, but then he lowered his head and whispered the sweetest words in her ear. “Tacos and beer.”

  She moaned. “Hard or soft tacos?”

  Logan considered. “I’m thinking hard.”

  Jeni grinned up at the man she loved, and he smiled.

  “That’s what she said.”

  Acknowledgments

  This book took a couple of tries and some excellent advice from Denise Williams, Heather Gearhart, and Torie Jean, but I cannot tell you how happy I am with Jeni and Logan’s story. These two were in my head from the first few chapters of writing Perfect Distraction and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on them so they could tell their own love story. Jeni ended up a little sassier and Logan a little softer than I planned, but I love them both so much.

  Thank you Jeni Chappelle for editing this book, and Elizabeth Turner Stokes for the gorgeous cover. Thank you Rae, Skye, Sarah, and Lindsay for giving me tips on self-publishing (jeez, it’s stressful!). On that note, an extra thank you to everyone who bought this book. You may not have known I self-published this one, but I honestly loved the story so much I just had to put it out there. Thank you for giving it a chance.

  Thank you to Dara, who gave me invaluable information and insight into the foster care system. Any errors or misrepresentations are on me. And thank you for being so lovely supporting my books even though we know each other through Anne (who I also owe huge thanks to—Anne, you’re one of my top betas. You make me feel worthy of writing and give great feedback). Thanks to Kristy Payne who generously allowed me to base Logan’s organization off the real (and much better organized) Fostering Sweet Dreams located right here in Oklahoma. If you’re interested in donating to that organization, visit https://fosteringsweetdreams.com.

  I have the best betas/early readers who support me endlessly and give me so much encouragement: Fransen, Abby, Ashtin, Lindsey, Staci, Jo, Ashley, Anna, Anne, Lyn, Amber, Misty, Tobie, Beth…and can I be honest and tell you I’m guaranteed to leave someone out here? As authors we’re told to keep track of people to thank from the very beginning, but for a long time I didn’t know if this book would ever make it to publication and I admit I didn’t keep a list. I’m positive I’m going to leave out someone important. Please forgive me.

  Thanks to BIG Brew Co for always being willing to hosting my release parties and sponsoring my Books and Brews promo event. You’re good people and you make excellent beer.

  Thank you to the Bookstagram community for being so creative and supportive of authors and romance novels in particular. We’re a genre that often gets criticized and insulted in the larger literary world, but your love and never-ending dedication to romance novels keeps us going. As long as you keep reading love stories we’ll keep writing them.

  As always a big thank you to my parents and my husband who believe in me and support me and take my kids somewhere else so I can write. Love you.