by Peyton Banks
“Mine.”
Yours.
With questing fingertips Theo explored the skin from my temples all the way to my waist. Each caress was done slowly and purposely to maximize the expectation that was already rising to dizzying heights. His tongue curled and moved from one nipple to the other as he lowered his head. A series of lazy licks left my bones melting into the fabric of the linens. There was no place he didn’t press those talented lips, no patch of skin that he didn’t taste. His rough tongue followed the movement of his fingers as he left his mark on my body inch by tantalizing inch.
My shorts and underwear had left my body sometime during the process. Digging my hands into the thick comforter, I gripped the material tight enough to turn my knuckles white.
“Relax,” Theo admonished, pushing my thighs gently apart. “You smell like heaven. My own personal concoction of the best flavors ever created.”
His nose pressed to the seam of my lower lips as he parted them with his fingers and inhaled. A low growl vibrated his chest as he flattened against the mattress on his stomach.
“Hold on tight, my love. This is going to be a wild ride.”
Wolf shifters had a nose for scents, but heightened arousal really brought out or beast and primal nature. Theo didn’t have to ask, and I didn’t have to say I’d never experienced this before today. My only sexual encounter was over a year prior when we were nervous and both of us hadn’t been with another. It might have been a little clumsy, but it was perfect.
Tonight was a completely different level of lust and wild need.
His tongue flicked out and licked the entire length of my sex, sinking his tongue deep as he lapped at my core like I was his last meal. Moaning, I tried to close my thighs reflexively, but Theo kept them propped open and my hips in place. Sucking on the little nub that he focused his attention, he sent waves of pleasure crashing over the surface of my skin. Moving against his face in a delicate rhythm was my only thought. I needed to keep up the delicious friction.
The storm inside my core began to build until I couldn’t contain it any longer. Crying out Theo’s name I fisted my hands in his hair and swiveled my hips as he lapped up every drop of my release until I shuddered.
“Theo,” I groaned, panting as my chest rose and fell quickly.
“That was nothing, Bec. We’re just getting started.”
“I don’t know. That was pretty amazing.”
He snorted in mild amusement. “I’m already addicted. You’ve ensnared me like a habit-forming drug. I want more until I’ve had my fill and I can hardly move from being so spent.”
“Why don’t you fill me instead?” I had no idea where my boldness came from, but Theo’s eyes widened for a second before he growled so sexy and deep that I could have come again just from the sound.
“Are you sure about this?”
The question was asked only once. He was giving me the opportunity to back out if this wasn’t what I wanted but I’d never been surer of anything or anyone in my entire life. Raw intensity shone in his blue eyes and dissolved any words that might have formed on my tongue.
“Completely. Take me, Theo. Make me yours.”
He was naked so fast that a small giggle erupted from between my lips. “You are mine, Becca. Let’s get that straight. Mine and no other.” The seriousness of his tone wasn’t lost on me.
“Yes, all yours, Theo. Just as you’re mine.”
To make such a promise to each other was mating according to the traditions and sanctions of our pack. We didn’t have to bear witness of our intent in front of the elders and the clan, but it would be expected eventually. Claiming one another and swearing our undying allegiance was declaring our union. As far as the pack was concerned, this was marriage.
It dawned on me that this was our essentially our wedding night.
Tears filled my eyes as Theo rose higher and pressed a gentle but firm kiss against my lips. “This is our mating, Becca. We’re consummating our vows.”
“Yes, Theo,” I choked, blinking as a single tear slipped down my cheek.
“Don’t cry, my mate. I love you, Becca. I always have, for as long as I can remember.” My eyes closed briefly and reopened as he cupped my cheek and leaned in for another kiss. “Remember this moment. It’s the happiest of my life.”
Theo took me then, filling me with every inch in one long but determined thrust. It was almost like our first time all over again except I didn’t have any pain. This was pure ecstasy. Big, hard, and rigid he completely consumed my body. Heat intensified along with the pulsing pleasure in my core. I began to sweat with his body pressed so closely to mine.
“This is better than any dream I’ve had of us since,” he confessed, and I couldn’t help my smile.
“Much better,” I agreed as he growled and nipped at my neck, pumping his hips faster. Long steady strokes forced my thighs open wider to accommodate the width of his hips. Theo was such a large man that he dwarfed me in comparison. Interestingly enough, we seemed to fit together like perfect puzzle pieces.
His hands grasped my hips as he increased his thrusts and pushed my body closer to another orgasm. White hot sparks of fire danced along my skin as the pleasure built in my core. An electric current seemed to burst from deep within and I screamed Theo’s name as I climaxed so hard, I bit into his shoulder. He never lessened his pace but kept up the delicious friction that caused his own cry of release to shatter the remaining walls between us and echo in the silent room.
Theo’s body stiffened as I felt his seed rush into me, and I held onto him tightly until he groaned out sweet words of love and devotion in my ear. In the aftermath of our lovemaking, our limbs entwined, and Theo held me tight against his chest as his heartbeat slowed and began to match my own.
Locked in my mate’s embrace, I gave into the fatigue but not before I heard the last words he whispered as his arms tightened their hold.
“I’m going to keep you close, my Becca. Right next to my heart. Where you’ve been and always will be until the day I no longer have life in my body.”
8
Theo
I held Becca all night and refused to part from her side until the last possible second. An entire army of hunters could have stormed that doorway and been unable to pry my fingers away. It didn’t escape my notice that Becca gave in to our night of pleasure and admitted she was mine, but she didn’t say she loved me in return. In fact, she made no promise to stay by my side once we returned to the pack. Anxiety ate away at my insides and I had to ignore the panicked yelp of my wolf in response.
Easy, boy. She’ll be ours. Even if I had to force her to see the truth.
We dressed quietly with the dawn and packed up the few items in the room without saying much to one another. An awkward silence continued to stretch between us where our honeymoon should have breached the distance. I was reluctant to push the issue. What if it backfired in my face? My love for this woman made me blind and I was about to find out exactly how much it hurt to have your heart irreparably broken.
The entire ride to Cedar Creek we made small talk and completely ignored the unspoken questions between us. My wolf paced restlessly. He wanted to make our claim known the second we set foot back on clan property. I gripped the steering wheel so tightly I thought I would lose permanent feeling in my hands.
The truck was parked on the edge of the Baxter compound as we exited. I had wanted to say something to her before she slipped out the door, but she was quick to cut off that possibility. It only took a few seconds to catch up with her, but I knew all my hopes were about to be dashed away as quickly as they’d been rekindled.
The expression on her face spoke volumes. I could fill a book with the amount of emotion that lingered in her beautiful eyes. The violet color always held my attention but today I had to break our connection. A part of me refused to give up and I stalked forward as she slowly shook her head.
Reaching for her hand, I wasn’t surprised when Becca pulled away. Her sad an
d teary gaze met mine and a sense of déjà vu washed over my body like a sudden dunking in a bath of crushed ice. My mind scrambled to make sense of her reaction. Was she concerned about what had occurred between us last night? Was she feeling overwhelmed? Did she think I expected more from her than she was willing to give? I’d give her time if she asked. I would do anything my Becca wanted.
What could possibly turn my mate away from me?
“Theo,” she whispered, her eyes refusing to meet mine as my heart sank. “I think it’s best we part ways here.”
Becca’s words slammed into my chest with a ferocious and painful ache that robbed every thought in my head and prevented a response from forming. What about our mating? After all I had done, all the effort and worry, concern and outrage she was pushing me away. Again.
A mournful howl escaped my wolf as he stumbled to the ground and bayed at the air. The cruelty of her statement didn’t end there. The sudden feeling of rejection was almost too much to endure.
“I made a stupid mistake. We never should have stayed in bed together last night.” Her voice wavered as if she held back a bursting damn full of emotion. Her slender body trembled as she pushed a stray strand of dark hair out of her expressive eyes. Her light caramel skin seemed paler somehow, as if the intensity of the moment between us had robbed her of vitality.
I had always thought she was beautiful. In this moment she was achingly so as I realized my last chance to mate with her was being ripped away. This time it wasn’t the fault of her father or anyone else. Becca was deciding . . . and I wasn’t her choice.
Gutted, I could barely keep my body from bending in half at the waist. A horrendous and swift rending of my heart crushed the organ into tattered shreds. The air left my lungs in a loud exhale as my entire body trembled with the effort to remain upright.
I opened my mouth to speak but no words formed.
“This is for the best, Theo. You’ll see.” Was she trying to convince herself or me?
Waiting for her to move as I fought my body’s need to spring into action, I stood my ground as sudden fury and bitter resentment took refuge in my heart. All this time. Years wasted. A mating promise broken.
I meant nothing to Becca.
“Don’t hate me,” she whispered as her voice broke and I made the mistake of locking onto the violet sparkle in her eyes that faded into the gray. “I couldn’t stand it if you felt that way.”
Sucking air deeply into my lungs, my hand lifted in one last desperate appeal. Please, I begged in my head, choose me. For once, do as you really wish. Fuck the consequences.
I almost believed she considered the idea until I heard the booming voice of Jedd Harlow snap the last thread of hope between us.
“Becca!”
Taking a step backward, I kept going one at a time until the forest swallowed my body and I was hidden in the thick foliage and branches of the trees. I don’t know how long I stood there and watched her family close in, snatching her away from me as they’d done so many times in the past. This time I wasn’t angry with Jedd or his sons. This was Becca’s choice. She was a grown woman. If she couldn’t fight for us, then she didn’t deserve my love or devotion.
Even as I thought the words my wolf snarled and fought for control. Angry and hurting, I made him wait long hours before I finally relented and shifted. The day gave way to nightfall and I still hadn’t returned home or to the pack that I loved. My family would miss me soon, but the reality of my broken heart awaited me in the cedar trees and the familiar creek, and I couldn’t force myself to go back.
The hours lapsed into days and I felt my mind slipping into the base instincts of the wolf. My humanity was farther from reach with every hour that continued without a switch back to human form. I ignored the appeal of my family and Cole’s wolf when he tried to find my location. I only wanted to become lost and live where the pain was dulled by survival.
‘Theo.’
Shit.
Rinnick would try to pull this bullshit right now. He knew my feelings. An alpha was in tune with the members of his pack.
‘Return home. Now. I command it.’
I fought his dictate as long as possible. Trotting back to pack lands, I stubbornly refused to shift since he hadn’t issued any demand about human form. When I arrived, I ignored the crowd of people who watched the large black wolf of my alpha as he stared into my eyes.
‘Go home. Await me there.’
Cole’s wolf bumped into mine and I nipped at him as both of us bared our teeth. He might be my best friend, but I wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone’s intervention.
‘Enough.’
Damn my alpha for sticking his nose in my business. This was personal. None of it was his concern.
“Theo.”
Becca’s voice made my wolf snarl and I spun around in her direction, my incisors dripping with saliva as I contemplated how to rip her heart out like my own. Maybe if she didn’t have one too, we could find a way to be together. Just that single thought caused my wolf to stumble and I turned toward home where her presence couldn’t follow me.
I was wrong.
“Theo, I’m sorry.”
Becca’s sweet voice carried on the back of the wind and met me at my front door where my father and uncle stood with my cousin Elena, all of them concerned. My father held up a pair of pants and I shifted – painfully – into my human form. Snatching the shorts from his hand, I slipped them on and refused to meet any of their curious stares.
“I understand,” Elena whispered as I finally lifted my head. She tapped her heart as tears filled both of our eyes. Her pregnant belly swelled outward as she placed a hand on her stomach.
“Elena, I don’t know how . . .” I couldn’t finish.
“It’ll be alright, Theo.” Her voice held a level of pain that matched my own. “It’s gonna hurt for a long time. Both us have to live with that terrible ache but maybe we can get through it together.”
Elena’s mate had been slaughtered by a ruthless bear shifter only a few weeks ago. Losing her mate so close to the birth of her first child was devastating. I thought I couldn’t comprehend her level of loss until the hour I brought Becca back home. Consummating our mating and spending the night with Becca showed me the bliss of a possible future only long enough to cruelly yank it away. Now I knew her pain and it was as heart wrenching and soul crushing as I imagined. She held out her arms and I ran toward her hugging Elena’s slender frame close as she tucked her head under my chin.
“I love you, Theo.”
“I love you, too, El.”
The door to the house closed as my uncle and father disappeared inside. Once we were ready Elena and I would join them. For now, I closed my eyes and gave in to the ache in my chest and held my cousin closer as we both cried for the losses we could never gain back – her mate, my mother, Elena’s mother, and the broken hearts that would need a long and lonely time to heal.
9
Becca
Theo stood tall and proud; his shoulders squared back as his expression changed from devastated to neutral. He’d closed me off the moment I said last night was a mistake. I didn’t mean that I had regrets. Theo was my mate and I spoke the truth when I gave myself to him, but I didn’t see how my family was ever going to accept him in my life. We had been together for nearly six years and still my family had yet to approve of his presence. I was constantly forced to choose between the man I loved and the other important men in my life that were my only family.
My father held me tight in his arms as if the entire world was now back in alignment and there was nothing to worry about. He stood back and smiled as Lor and Elias practically crushed me in their relief, but it changed nothing. For some strange reason I expected all the trauma, questions, confusion, despair, and anger to melt away the second I was home. It didn’t.
I had never felt more lost and alone.
My heart ached and my gaze turned in the direction that Theo went before he disappeared into the trees.
For a few seconds I was tempted to shift and chase after him. The impulse was quickly squashed beneath my brother’s insistence that I follow them home.
Dinner was a somber affair as my brother Lor and my father discussed pack matters. The alphas were in control and I was left on the outside as Elias jumped in with his opinion. In the past I enjoyed these impromptu meetings. Tonight, I felt stifled by the trivial conversation that was insignificant compared to recent events.
“I find it highly distasteful that you’re all avoiding the most important and pressing topics that face our clan. It’s not just our pack affected. The rogue shifter that murdered almost half a dozen wolves and bears left our clan hurting and vulnerable. He didn’t act alone despite the word of the bear clan alpha. My kidnapping is proof that The Society plans to keep targeting shifters. I was beaten, caged, and forced to endure hours of torture yet you sit here and ignore these issues as if we shouldn’t be taking action.” My chest heaved as my emotions churned. Three men stared at me as if they couldn’t believe my words. “I’m disappointed that I need to be the one to point out that the packs need leadership and we need to eradicate the rest of this radical group before more of our people end up missing or dead.”
Elias’s jaw dropped as Lor smiled, respect visible in his icy blue stare. My father shook his head as if in disbelief and opened his mouth to speak when I slapped my hand on the table.
“There’s no discussion about this. Only a plan of action. Decide what you must do and how you will lead our people. If you don’t, we won’t make it another year in our ancestral home.”
All three began to speak at once but I didn’t stick around to listen to their arguments. My father and brothers were good men and once they were done arguing I knew a decision would be made and a plan put in place. I did my part when I made the Harlow men focus. The rest was up to them.