by Peyton Banks
“We’ll have brunch in a few hours when your parents get up,” Alisha says.
I nod and pour myself a cup of coffee before sitting next to Heather. She leans in and brushes her lips over mine. I still feel it, that connection we’d made last night. It was the type of connection built to last.
My father comes down and looks at me before curling his lips into a sneer. Heather notices, her shoulders getting stiff, though she says nothing. His attitude is wearing on my nerves. Living in New York, working at the company managing one of the larger divisions, has given me some inner strength. I know what I’m doing, and I’m making good decisions for the company. Though I’m not the CEO, I’m important. Heck, I wasn’t the same boy who had fought for his daddy’s attention. I didn’t need his approval.
Heather takes a sip of coffee, and her gaze meets mine. Maybe proving myself wasn’t worth it. I’d gotten the buttercup tattoo because it reminded me of her, but had I lost myself trying to become someone my dad would accept?
“Would you like to take a walk?”
Heather’s eyes crinkle at the corners, and she nods. I hold out my hand, and when she takes it, my heart skips a beat. She’s gotten to me without even trying.
“Grab your coffee.”
“Sure. Thank you, Alisha, the coffee is lovely. If you like, I can help you get brunch on the table later.”
My dad opens his mouth to say something but Alisha beats him to the punch.
“You’re too kind. I have someone coming in to cook in an hour, but I would love to have your help with the drinks.”
Heather nods and smiles at my dad. “Good morning, Andrew.”
My dad grunts and anger washes through me. Heather’s hand on mine is the only thing preventing me from telling my dad off. I don’t want to argue with him because I’ve done it before and lost. My mind twists over the arguments we’ve had as Heather and I walk down the hill and past the tennis courts. I’ve taken this path so many times. It leads through the trees and twists past piles of dirt.
“When I was a child, I came back here to play. It was my sanctuary, my hideout.”
Heather turns and walks backward for a few steps before spinning around. "It's nice out here. How long have William and Alisha lived here?"
“Forever. Their children are older than me. I think her grandfather owned the house. They’ve added to it, built the tennis courts, put in a pool, but they’ve had it forever.”
She stops and looks up, spinning a little as I watch. I could look for a hundred years and never find a woman as good as her. “They’re different than your parents.”
I laugh. It’s a painful realization, one I can’t quite talk about. I pluck a leaf from Heather’s hair before catching her hand in mine. Anger from the past surfaces. I thought I had that old fury beaten, but something had set it off. I try to focus on Heather as we make our way to the creek that twists through the woods.
“This is nice.” Heather’s words pull me from my musings.
We’re close to the creek and I take my hand from hers to move a limb that is blocking our path. “It was one of my favorite places as a kid. I know it may be tough to imagine this, but my parents fought all the time.”
She slaps her hands to her cheeks. “What? Surely you jest.”
I laugh with Heather and move to bump her shoulder but my foot slips on a rock and I slide down the bank, landing in the creek with a splash.
“Are you okay?” Heather looks horrified as she tries to make her way down the slippery bank.
“Don’t come—”
It's too late for my warnings. After a screech and a splash, Heather is in the water next to me, her laughter warming me all the way to my toes. I chuckle and try to stand, but Heather picks up a wad of mud and tosses it at me. It smacks me on the side of my face. A flash of annoyance fuels my anger. Years ago I'd come home muddy after playing by the creek. My father had beaten me, leaving red marks up my back and down my legs. It had traumatized me. I fight through the haze, shoving my anger down. I don't want to be my dad, ever.
I pick up a handful of mud and smear it over Heather’s neck and down to her cleavage. As weird as it is, I’m getting hot. Heather gasps then laughs louder. In less than thirty seconds we’re both dripping with mud. She pushes me to the bank and hovers over me. A glob of mud drips off her neck to my cheek.
We both laugh as she lowers. “We’re so dirty.”
“If this place were more secluded, I’d strip you naked and show you how dirty I really am.”
She sits back and studies me. “Why do you try so hard to be like your dad?”
I sigh and shake my head, hating the truth. I go to cover my eyes, but my arm is too dirty, so I let it drop to my side. “I don’t know. Stupidity maybe.”
“You’re not a stupid man, Baxter.”
My father had drilled in how dumb I was when I’d done stuff like come home covered in mud. Again and again, he’d railed, telling me I was stupid. “You don’t know that.”
“Please, we were friends. I know you’re not dumb.”
I turn over and crawl up the bank. Disgust fills me. Heather doesn’t know that her challenge makes me feel powerless. Her words rub salt in wounds I’d etched on my body after tireless nights spent trying to be good enough. Once at the top I turn and look at her. She’s still in ankle deep water with mud running down her neck onto her breasts. She’s everything I want to be. Free-spirited, kind, loving, and I’m not enough of anything that used to be me when we knew each other in California.
“You don’t understand.” The words were flung at her in anger. I try to remain calm, but it’s too much. Memories flow fast, making my head spin.
“Are you happy?” Heather climbs up the bank. I should reach down and pull her up, but anger has me frozen.
Pain lances my heart. Her question sets off a fire chain of anger I can’t control. “What do you know about business? You wear your funky clothes and do your hair however you want. You don’t have to deal with the real world or what it takes to run a business. I work hard, and still, my dad is an asshole, keeping the business from me. It’s not like I can be happy and work. I have to choose.”
I draw in a deep breath as realization dawns. I'd made a colossal mistake. The words were my father's, not mine, but they were out there, floating on the wind. The hurt on Heather's face was too real. I reach for her, but she shakes off my hold.
Without any hesitation, she turns and races away. I go after her.
“Wait. Please don’t go. I didn’t mean it.” I’d seen tears in her eyes, and I want to wipe them away, but my hands are filthy. "Heather, I'm sorry."
“I’m done. I’m going home.”
Panic sets in. “Please. Don’t leave.”
Heather turns on me, her eyes blazing. “Why, so your family doesn’t figure out you’re not really engaged?”
“No, please, it’s not that. I beg you. Stay, please.”
She shakes her head and turns to go.
“I-I can’t lose you.”
“I’m not yours to lose.” She lifts her hand and shakes her head. “I won’t tell your family you lied, just let me go.”
The crushing weight of her leaving is enough to pull me out of my stupidity. I don’t care if my family knows I lied. I don’t care if my dad thinks I’m an untrustworthy idiot. All that matters is Heather.
“Wait,” I shout, stopping her in her tracks.
Heather spins around and throws up her hands. “What? What could you possibly want?”
“You.”
She shakes her head violently. “You don’t even know me.”
I hold out one dirty hand as I approach her. “No, I don’t.”
Her eyes are narrowed and her face looks pained. “I can’t stay. Not after what you said.”
“Fine. I’ll drive you home. I’m sorry.”
She sighs and her shoulders drop. “I don’t want your sorries.”
I’d gone too far and I had no defense. “Let’s eat brunch t
hen I’ll drive you home.”
“I can find another way.”
Self-hate fills me. I'm such a jerk, and I may have ruined the best thing I've ever had. "Alisha will be disappointed if you leave."
Heather stills. I can tell that manipulating her may have worked for now, but she’s not the type of woman to bow to pressure.
“Fine, but that’s it.” Her words are crisp and unforgiving.
I follow her through the woods, wishing I hadn’t let my anger loose. We slip inside and make it to our room without being seen. Shower time is much less exciting. Heather washes first. When she finishes, she barely even gives me a second glance. I wash quickly and come out to find her packed and ready to go.
“I didn’t mean what I said.” I kneel in front of her but she won’t look at me. “I hate how I feel.”
After a long moment, her gaze connects with mine. “I’m having a hard time believing you’re sincere.”
“I’m an idiot. I’ll admit that.”
Heather scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
“I made a huge mistake. I see you being happy, loving life, and for a moment I thought I could have that. I’ve never felt so good with anyone. Back in school, you made my life good.”
She frowns. “Why didn’t you ever kiss me then?”
I swallow, stalling as I think about that time. “When I met you, I was depressed. I didn’t even know how depressed I was until you took my hand that night and held it while I cried. You saw a part of me that I’ve never allowed anyone else to see. You didn’t hold my weakness against me. The next day, you were nice. I didn’t want to ruin it. You’ve seen how my parents act. I thought that’s what being in a relationship was. I didn’t want that with you. I wanted something special, and I knew that if I kissed you, if I touched you, I would end our relationship because I’m an asshole.”
Her brows pinch tight and she shakes her head. “You don’t have to be that way.”
“No, I guess I don’t. I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone.”
“You were engaged, right?”
I nod as my heart sinks. I had been engaged, but that relationship was even faker than what I have with Heather. “Do you actually think it was anything like what I have with you?”
Her brows pinch together. “Didn’t you love her?”
I screw my lips up and shake my head. “I’m a dick. No, I didn’t love her. I loved that my dad would stop riding my case and I could get on with life. We didn’t spend much time together. She was arm candy and not much else. We weren’t friends and we barely knew each other. I needed a fiancée and she was the least annoying woman I knew.”
“That’s sad.”
A bark of laughter escapes my lips. "I know. It's disgusting. I'm a terrible person." She doesn't automatically disagree and I guess I deserve her revile. "My life since I left California has been different. I forgot a lot of things. I forgot those afternoons we spent in the library studying together and those evenings we spent walking around campus while we discussed everything under the sun. I don't want to be the person my dad wants me to be."
“Baxter, I don’t have the emotional energy to prop you up again. I did it before. I can’t do it a second time.”
I take a step closer and she stiffens. I don’t deserve her trust. I messed up big time. “I’m not asking you to. I’m just asking you to give me a chance. I’ve been bowing down to my dad for years and doing things his way. Don’t toss me out yet. Give me time to adjust.”
Her eyes dip a little, but she isn’t gone…yet. I hold out my hand and she stares at it for a long moment. I’m about to give up when she laces our fingers together and squeezes.
“Brunch, then we’ll make an excuse and head home?” Part of me wants to stay here and get to know her. But staying here would be doing what my dad wants me to do. Heather means more to me than my family’s stupid company where I’d been working since before I was old enough to have a job. My dad wouldn’t ever give in. He wasn’t going to allow me to take over. The sad realization hits. No matter what I do, I’ll never be head of the company.
“Okay, brunch. You’re right, Alisha would be unhappy. We don’t need to crush her just because you’re an idiot.”
I laugh and Heather's gaze meets mine. A balloon of stress pops in my chest and my shoulders drop. I can't lose her. God, I'm such an idiot. I had her in college, but I wasn't ready then.
“Baxter, there’s one thing you need to understand.”
Her statement scares me. I’m not sure if I can take too much more understanding or revelation. I’m a mess, no question, now I just need to figure out how to un-screw myself.
“Yes?”
“I’m not the same impressionable girl I used to be. I’m not who you think I am.”
“You’re nice, that’s all that matters.”
Her eyes narrow. “I’m not a pushover.”
“I don’t want a pushover. I want the woman I see in front of me.”
She lifts a brow. “And who do you think I am?”
“Someone who isn’t going to put up with my shit. You’ll set me straight and tell me when I’m being a jerk. You’re smart, no question. Obviously, you have changed. Allow me to be me without the influence of my dad.”
Her brows lift. “Can you do that?”
"Good question. Before, when we were in college, I thought I had more time."
Heather scratches her neck and sinks her teeth into her lower lip. “We need to go down.”
“Sure. I know we’re leaving today. Can I arrange a time to see you?”
“Let’s make it through brunch and then I’ll decide.” It’s not the answer I want but it’s the answer I’m going to live with.
Maybe I’ve seen it before, maybe not, but sitting down with my parents this time is different. I see them through Heather’s eyes. I don’t want to be like them when I’m fifty. Heck, I don’t want to be like them when I’m thirty and that is fast approaching.
Heather is quiet. I think Alisha notices. In the past, I’ve never cared about anyone enough to stick around and change. My history with women is terrible. I’ve screwed up time and time again. Of course, I usually picked up women who aren’t like Heather. She is real. There is an authentic air about her no other woman I’d dated ever had. Heather was extraordinary.
I hadn’t been paying attention to the chit-chat around the table and when my dad narrows his eyes at me, I’m dumbfounded.
“Well?” Dad lifts his hands like he’s asking a question.
The subject has escaped me and I feel like an idiot. “I’m sorry, what was that?”
Dad throws up his arms and stands. “See, this is why I can’t turn the company over to him. He’s a half-wit.”
“You’re wrong,” Heather says.
“Oh shut up. What do you know, you freaking…hippie?”
The words roll off his tongue and anger flashes hot inside me. I toss my napkin on the floor. Heather’s hand is on my arm, fingernails digging in, holding me in place.
“I’m not going to shut up.” Heather’s voice is even, her shoulders square.
I’d never admired a woman as much as I admire her at this moment. She isn’t just some flower child, hippie. She has a spine of steel.
“You may think you can say whatever you want to me, but you can’t. I won’t put up with your disrespect or your attitude.”
Dad waves his arms at her and rolls his eyes. “What do you know? You’re nothing more than a-a…a girl.”
Heather laughs and shakes her head. “I know the value of people and I don’t treat them like dirt.”
Dad scoffs. "That won't get you far. You've got to be powerful, and my son is weak."
Again, Heather laughs. “From my vantage point, you’re one of the poorest and weakest people I’ve ever seen. You may have cash in a bank somewhere, but you don’t have peace in your heart. One day, you’ll regret treating people like trash. But I won’t be one of those people.”<
br />
I had no idea what Heather was going to say next. Maybe she would reveal our lie and tell my father we weren’t a couple. The air had cooled off considerably and my mom looked horrified. No one had ever talked to my father like Heather was speaking to him. Stunned didn’t even begin to cover how he looked.
Heather turns to Alisha and begins speaking. “Thank you for being such a wonderful host. It’s been a pleasure to meet you. William, you have a lovely house. Thank you for inviting us.” Heather stands and I hop up too. My mom’s frown deepens. Heather flashes a stiff smile at my mom. “It was nice to meet you.” She doesn’t offer those words to my dad. I didn’t blame her.
My dad throws up his hands. “Are you going to follow that twat?”
I nod and my lips curve into a smile I can’t suppress. “Yep, and she’s right. You’re going to eventually regret a lot of stuff.” I follow her up to our room and find her bent at the waist, sucking in air. “Are you okay?”
Her eyes are wide, and her face is ashen. “I can’t believe I stood up to him.”
"Thank you." Her gaze catches mine and at that moment, I know she is the better person. She always has been the better person. Her quirky ways aren't just endearing, she is a good person, better than me or my family will ever be.
“Are you ready to leave?” I can’t stay another minute. I’ll probably lose my job, but I don’t care. Knowing my dad, he has already sent a note to the board.
“Yes, let’s go.” Her voice shakes, tugging at my heart, revealing her emotions.
I carry our bags downstairs where William and Alisha meet us. “You don’t have to leave.”
“I’m sorry, Alisha, William,” Heather says. “I need to head back into town. It was very nice of you opening your home.”
William pulls Heather into a hug. “Someone needed to say that to him for a long time. Thank you.”
Heather’s laughter fills the entryway. “It was very rude of me.”
“He’ll get over it,” William says as he steps away. “Come back, just the two of you. I think we could have a wonderful weekend together.”
Heather nods but I know she doesn’t mean it. She’s not going to give me the time of day. I’ve been acting like my dad and he’s a dick. It’s time for a new balance in my life, but I’m not sure how to get there.