Beside a few stares, school wasn’t as bad as I thought. People asked the infamous question, “What happened?”
I kept it simple.
“Accident,” I would reply. They would push further for more details, but I was careful to keep it at that. There was no way I was saying that I blew a red light. It was too horrific to think about, let alone say aloud.
After Quinn dropped me off at Spanish, Carson walked right up to me. A look of anger swept over his face like a storm. His eyes were bent with a furrowed brow. But as soon as he looked me over and saw my leg, he froze up. Carson was about to let hell loose just by his look. His mouth opened, but the sight of my leg changed everything. He closed his mouth and stared at the long cast. It was as if he had turned to stone. My cast had that Medusa effect on a lot of people that day.
“I’m sorry,” he quickly said before spinning around and rushing back to his seat.
I sighed. Because of the accident, I had missed our study session. He had most likely come over to yell at me for that. The leg explained everything for me. Talking, apparently, wasn’t needed anymore.
Mr. Baxtor gave us the period to work on our project. Carson didn’t talk to me, though. He sat at his desk quietly and scurried to finish the project, even though we had all week to do it. I opened my mouth to say something. I could help, but I found myself unable to say so to him. I felt bad because of what I did, but I also felt bad that Carson didn’t know. I was mad that we agreed to meet at the town library instead of the school one. I was mad at a lot of things, but I didn’t know which should I be the angriest about.
“Aspen,” I whispered five minutes before the bell.
His long brown hair flipped toward me immediately. It was as if he was listening to me the entire time and just waiting for me to say something.
“Yeah,” he croaked. I didn’t look at him, but I knew he was leaning close with his eyes covered in a light glaze. Ever since the breakup, he always had that puppy dog look on him.
“Will you walk me to my next class?” I asked, and this time, I looked at him
“Yeah,” he repeated. A small smile grew on his lips, and he reached out for my hand. I allowed him to grab it. He gave it a light squeeze before helping me up.
Limping, I waved bye to Mr. Baxtor and kept walking out the door. I knew Carson was watching me, but I refused to look back. His face reminded me too much of the accident, but then again so did Aspen’s.
Aspen stood next to me awkwardly as I hobbled with the crutches. He wanted to hold my hand, his hand fidgeting.
“Aspen,” I whispered again once we were outside of the room.
“Yeah,” he replied and slowly, we turned down the hall.
“The other car. What happened to them?” My mind had a million thoughts flying around. The car accident was a hundred percent my fault, and if anyone got hurt in the other car, I would never forgive myself. The thought of a child being involved got me scared.
“They’re okay, Ella,” Aspen whispered. “It was a couple coming home from work. They got a few stitches in their arms and legs, but nothing big.”
A wave of relief swept over me. Finally, I could breathe a little easier.
“Thank God. At least it was only me who got seriously hurt,” I said, shaking my head. There was only one person who needed to suffer from the accident, and it was me.
“That’s not true.” Aspen stopped walking immediately. His eyes stared at me, and it was as though he were reading into my soul. His brown eyes stared at me like black holes.
My heart started beating rabidly. What did he mean? Hadn’t he just said that the couple only had a few stitches, and there was nothing serious?
Aspen must’ve saw my lip quivering because he spoke immediately after I began shaking.
“It was me! I got hurt from the accident!” he yelled, flailing his arms.
I sighed and quickly tossed aside my tears. “I can’t deal with your drama, Aspen. I’m tired of it.”
“That’s not fair! I’ve been through hell and back because of you, and you won’t even acknowledge that! Don’t you see that us not being together is tearing me apart? I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I sit on my couch all day waiting for you to call, but you never do,” Aspen said and held my arms tightly. His palms were sweaty, and I saw the tears forming in his eyes. He did look skinny, but I couldn’t focus on that. He did an awful thing. My eyes closed. I couldn’t handle crying, especially if it was in front Aspen. “Every day my heart gets broken a little more.”
I choked back a cry. That wasn’t fair of Aspen. He cornered me there in the hallway. He knew that at that moment I needed him, so walking away wasn’t an option. I had no way out of the situation.
“Look at me, Ella,” he whispered. His voice was low and I felt the release of his grip against my arm. His finger brushed away the one tear that escaped from my eye. It was gentle and comforted every inch of me. “Please.”
My eyes peeled themselves open.
“No matter what you say or what you do, I’m yours. There isn’t a thing in the world to get me to stop loving you.” My eyes shifted to the floor, which caused him to cup my face and lift it back up to him. “Listen, I’m in love with you, and there’s not a damn thing in the world that you could do to change that.” Aspen smiled, proud of his speech. He had done a heck of job of with it. The speech left my mind in a haze. Clearly, I wasn’t thinking straight, because the next thing I knew Aspen’s lips were on mine, and I felt the warmth and the security it always gave me from every kiss that we had shared. I couldn’t bring myself to kiss back, but that didn’t stop him from kissing me harder. He loved me. That was a definite.
Once Aspen pulled away, he smirked. “I knew you felt the same way, Branson.”
“I didn’t kiss back!” I cried, but a smile was hidden in it.
Aspen rolled his eyes. “You didn’t have to.”
“You’re still a jerk.” I laughed and mimicked his eye roll. My fist reached out, bumping his shoulder.
“And you still love that,” he retorted. His hand fell into mine, and together we hobbled down the hall.
“That kiss didn’t mean anything,” I whispered halfway down the hall.
“Sure it didn’t, Branson. Sure it didn’t.”
Chapter 33
Being Ridiculous
“Get in the car,” Sam hissed as she slowly drove next to me.
Ignoring her, I continued to use my crutches to get as far away from her as possible. She’d been pushing me to ride home with her all day, and I’ve been ignoring every bit of her. Sam was a horrible person, and I didn’t understand why I forgave her so easily. Aspen had a point.
“Ella, don’t be ridiculous.”
My underarms were burning from the crutches, but it was better than being in a car with a girl who could care less about me. I lunged myself across the parking lot. I didn’t exactly know where I was going, though.
“I’m getting a ride from Caleb,” I said without looking at her. My eyes were fixed on his car across the lot.
“Afraid not, honey.” I turned around just in time to see Caleb, his body laid across Sam’s lap. His smile was goofy, which should’ve made me laugh, but him being in the car with my evil twin just made my blood boil. I guess the car I was trudging to wasn’t really his.
Abruptly, I stopped. “What are you doing in her car?” I spat out the words, horrified that he was even that close to the Ice Queen.
Sam made pleading eyes at me, as if I already knew why he was sharing a ride with her. Her lips were flat and she stared further at me. Caleb was nodding next to her with dilated eyes. My body shuddered.
“Tell me it’s not true,” I gritted the words out through my teeth. Slowly, everything made sense: the weird winking and flirting, the late-night projects, the mysterious date. It was all becoming a little more than Caleb’s usual funny self.
“It is.” Caleb gave a tiny grin, sensing my confusion.
“You guys?” I asked, pointin
g at the two of them.
“We’re kinda, sorta, dating,” Sam said slowly, squinting her eyes, as if waiting for my outburst.
My mouth gaped. I should’ve been more shocked, but I wasn’t. Caleb’s flirtatious personality was becoming bigger and bigger around Sam. And slowly, Sam began to enjoy the flirty remarks. Clearly, she really was trying to change. Caleb would never date a girl who was fake and had a snarky attitude.
I groaned. My neck rolled from side to side. It hurt to say what I was about to say. “So, you actually changed?” The words almost wouldn’t leave my mouth, because it was still so hard to believe. It was weird to think that a person like her could truly change, although a week ago, I thought she had. Now, I knew it was true. My evil twin had become my twin. My sister.
“Is it so hard to believe?” Sam rolled her eyes, as if we were joking around with one another.
“Yes,” Caleb and I said at the same time.
I tried to hold back a laugh, but I couldn’t. He was my best friend, and we always thought the same thing. That was why it was hard to see him hanging around my long-time enemy.
“Wow.” Sam looked at Caleb with a hand on her chest. She held open her mouth in mock upset. “My own boyfriend thinks I can’t change? Hurtful.” She laughed and flicked his nose.
Laughing, he rubbed the spot she hit. “Oh, I know you changed, but it took a while for me to believe that.” Caleb smiled and quickly kissed her, which made me have to hide back a vomit in my mouth. He then looked at me and waved me into the car. “Can you please come with us?”
I practically threw up seeing them kiss, but now that Caleb was with Sam, I will admit I needed a ride home. But still, I had one question about the entire situation. “I thought you had a crush on Becca,” I simply said with narrowed eyes. Not once did I hear him mention Sam as his latest crush.
Sam burst into laughter. “When was this?” She held her stomach and leaned over against the wheel.
“Since the summer,” I informed her, not understanding why she was laughing. Leaning against my crutches was slowly hurting my armpits.
Sam shook her head, still laughing. Caleb sat with a blank stare. “He never liked her.” Sam laughed.
I scrunched my face. “He told me himself he liked her. Why didn’t you tell her, Caleb?” My eyes looked at him intensely, and his face only showed sorrow.
“Ella,” Caleb said slowly. He opened his mouth to continue his sentence, but Sam beat him to it.
“He’s been in love with you since the seventh grade, Ella! When he told me he liked me, I was shocked to see that he has moved on from you. Ella, it’s been you forever, not Becca.” Tears were brought to Sam’s eyes from laughter. Caleb slouched back into his chair and hid his face.
“Thanks Sam,” he mumbled.
My mouth dropped. Was she serious? Could he have really been in love with me for that long without telling me? Wouldn’t I have noticed? He told me he loved Becca. Why would he have lied? There were so many chances he could’ve told me, but instead he pretended to like Becca. If only he had told me. But that wouldn’t have made a difference. I never liked Caleb that way. Maybe it was best he didn’t tell me. But four years was a long time to keep in a crush. It must’ve killed Caleb.
“Caleb,” I whispered, realizing the pain he must have gone through during all those years, hearing me rant about guys and crushes and Aspen.
“You really didn’t know?” Sam’s laughter had finally come to a stop, noticing the tension. “But it was so obvious,” she said softly, as if making up for telling me.
I shook my head, and a tear came from my eye. Caleb must’ve been devastated when I began hanging out with Aspen. At that moment, I felt like a horrible person.
“No, don’t cry. Oh my God. This is not what I wanted.” Sam cried and banged her head against the steering wheel.
Caleb was now out of the car, and his arms were wrapped around me. That’s when all the tears fell off my cheek and onto his grey shirt.
“I’m such a horrible person,” I cried to him and buried my face.
Caleb shushed me. “Come on, El. I’m over it. Your sister and I are going strong.” He tried laughing, but my tears overpowered it. There was nothing laughable about the situation. Caleb had to be a heartbroken boy for years, and I made the heartbreak worse each time I talked about another guy.
“Ella, we’re really happy,” Sam chirped behind us.
I sniffled. They both did seem happier. If Caleb had told me, who knew if they would have ever gotten together? I never imagined them as a couple, though. It was always joked about, but I never actually thought it would happen. It seemed anything was possible nowadays.
“Let’s go home,” Caleb whispered. I nodded, still freaking over everything. Caleb’s crush on me was so overwhelming, but I didn’t understand what was making me cry so hard. I was guilty. Guilty actually didn’t even begin to describe my feelings. For the past three months he’d been hearing about Aspen, and for him that must have been hell. For the past four years, I’d been the reason for his pain.
This was starting to feel like a Taylor Swift song, and I was Drew. If only Caleb played the guitar.
“Ella,” Sam said once I was settled in the car.
I lifted my head and saw her green eyes staring at me.
“Aspen just texted me,” she informed me. I didn’t understand why he was texting her, considering she’d been a bitch to him ever since he told me about their plan. I guess he knew that calling me wasn’t really an option anymore, even if we had shared a kiss.
“I don’t care,” I croaked.
Sam nodded, and drove us all home.
Chapter 34
Closure
“Ella, it’s Christmas. Can you at least pretend to look happy?” Mom frowned from the leather couch.
I sat on the floor next to the Christmas tree, my leg was prompt on a pillow. Ever since my accident, my parents had been hovering over me. My leg barely hurt if I didn’t put pressure on it, but for some reason I needed to keep it elevated at all times. Yep, everything sucked for me.
“Sorry, Mom.” I rolled my eyes just before plastering a smile onto my face. “Merry Christmas everyone. I’m so happy that we’re together.” My smile faded. “Happy?”
Mom gasped. “Isabella Sophia Branson, I don’t know what has gotten into you, but I do not like it. It’s Christmas, God damn it, and all you do is sulk. Ever since the accident you have been moping around the house, and I’m fed up with ignoring that.”
Mom stormed out of the living room right after that. Dad sat on the couch with his head buried into his lap.
“Ella, why have you been acting like this?” Sam whispered next to me. Surrounding her were the presents we were about to open. Hot coco was steaming on the brown coffee table beside us. Her snowflake pajamas hung loosely on her thin body, while her bleached blonde hair was pulled up into a bun, the baby hairs framing her round face.
Tears were threatening to pour, and I hated that. I was sick and tired of crying over everything.
“Shhh,” Sam whispered and crawled over to me. Her warm hands wrapped around me, and she held me closely.
“Everyone that I ever loved turned on me,” I cried out and my body collapsed into Sam’s.
“Ella.” I could hear the choking cry in Sam’s voice. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s not true, Ella,” Dad said behind us on the couch.
“Yes, it is.” I sniffled and the tears all poured out. “Sam was horrible for most of my life. Aspen fake dated me. Becca turned to Sam when she needed a friend, and Caleb never told me the truth,” I said, choking on all my tears. It hurt to cry so much, but I needed to let out all my pain. Sam held me close as I let myself fall apart. Everything was breaking into tiny pieces all around me. The world was threatening to explode. “Why am I so hated?”
“I love you, Ella. I promise that I love you,” Sam whispered as her tiny fingers ran through my hair. “I’ll fix this. I’ll fix everything.”
***
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going through a hard time?” Quinn asked during lunch two days after Christmas.
Christmas ended up being awful. I escaped to my room and broke apart. I hadn’t even opened my presents yet. Like a bad memory, they were all just lying under the tree waiting to be torn open. There wasn’t anything left in me that wanted to open them, though.
I shrugged at Quinn’s question and sipped my iced tea.
“This is stupid. I’m your best friend. I expect to be told when my best friend is having a bad day,” Quinn said and thumped her hand on the table, the sound of her rings echoing through the empty diner.
I stopped sipping. “It’s not a bad day, Quinn. It’s a bad life.”
“That’s not true.” Her face was firm, suddenly serious.
“Isn’t it? It’s not like anyone actually likes me anymore.” My eyes rolled.
Quinn spit out a sigh. “Is this still about Aspen? Didn’t you guys kiss and make up already?”
“It’s not that easy Quinn!”
“Oh, please. He loves you Ella. What’s so hard to believe about that?”
“Everything.” I sulked. It wasn’t so easy to forgive and forget like everyone tells you to do. Aspen hit a part of me that I didn’t know could be touched. It was like every time I breathed, a little piece of me was sucked out.
“Everyone’s finally happy, Ella. Becca isn’t having boy troubles anymore, and Sam took a step down from being Queen Bitch. I think it’s time you stand up straight and be happy again. If it’s not with Aspen, that’s fine. There’s Carson and he’s a sweet guy too. But to be honest, you don’t need to be dating anyone to be happy. A few months ago, you were the happiest I’d ever seen, and that was without the whole Aspen drama.”
My body pushed against the hard top of the table. “Are you suggesting I date Carson?”
Try and Catch Me: A Young Adult Fiction Page 19