by Ancelli
She heard Jenny’s voice and tried to hide behind the book. This was her break and she didn’t want to spend it talking. Rayn wanted to sit in silence and read about shit that didn’t really happen in real life. Love was a joke but reading about it was her guilty pleasure.
“Hey!” Jenny lifted her hand in the air and waved.
Rayn watched her over the pages. There goes my break. She lifted her lips into a passable fake smile.
Jenny sat next to her without invitation. “I’ve been looking for you the past week. I wanted to make sure they were treating you good.”
“It’s going good.” Rayn flipped the page of her book, trying to give her a hint.
Jenny looked at her book cover and twisted her lips into a smirk. “How could you read that junk?”
She cleared her throat, glaring at her. “My guilty pleasure. We all have one.” Rayn didn’t know how to take Jenny at times. She seemed like a nice person, but sometimes she said some shit without thinking.
“I’m not going to bother you for long.” Jenny turned to the side, looking over at the cash register. “I’m waiting for my food. I’m going to surprise my man for lunch.”
“That’s sweet.” Rayn closed the book, giving Jenny the attention she appeared to want. “How’s everything with him?”
“He’s been distant.” Jenny turned back around facing Rayn and leaned in so no one could hear. “We haven’t had sex in weeks,” she whispered. “Do you think that’s normal in a new relationship?”
Rayn shrugged her shoulders, not expecting to hear such personal information. Rayn was the last person who could say what was or not normal in a relationship. She leaned back in her chair, staring at the nurse. Today, Jenny wore her natural hair in a high ponytail like Rayn used to in college. Ethan loved playing with her hair, she mused. When he was done messing with her locks, they would be tangled, and she would spend over an hour detangling her kinks.
“He couldn’t keep his hands off me, now it’s like I’m begging him,” Jenny stated sadly. “I think he’s cheating on me.”
“Has he given you a reason to mistrust him?” Rayn set the book on the table and ate a chip. It was obvious Jenny needed someone to talk to and it wouldn’t hurt for Rayn to have a work friend.
“No…” Jenny tapped her finger on the table. “He used to treat me like I’ve always wanted a man to. He opens doors, pulls out my seat, pays for everything. I wasn’t used to those things, and now he’s spoiled me.”
They both laughed. “It sounds like you have a keeper.” Rayn gave her the same advice she gave herself about Ethan. “Fight. Fight for what you want. You don’t want five years to pass by and then you realize you’ve made a mistake by not fighting for the one you love.”
“Are we still talking about me?” Jenny watched her.
She stared at the woman in front of her. Rayn’s senses were on full alert; something was telling her not to trust Jenny. And that was the thing—trust was difficult for Rayn to give. She had too many reasons not to trust anyone. “Yes. Don’t let another woman take such a good catch. He’s with you now, not someone else, and there has to be a good reason for that!”
“You’re right. I’m going to fight,” Jenny swallowed, “but it might be difficult. I can’t fight alone, can I?”
Rayn played with her silver ring and Magda’s words echoed in her head. If you love my son the way you proclaim you do, fight until there’s no more fight left in you, but the minute he makes you feel less of a woman, bow out, because you’re a queen and you will not accept no other title. Rayn often wondered where Magda had gotten her strength.
“Look who just walked in, Dr. Cutie.” She glanced at the entrance. “I think you guys will make a cute couple.” Jenny waved her hand. “Dr. Stuart!” She continued flagging him down. “Alvin.”
Rayn looked up at a tall African American man as he made his way to the table. He was handsome with a perfect goatee. She didn’t miss the way the other females in the room reacted when he stepped into the cafeteria like he owned it. Rayn wasn’t the type to fall for good looks, or the hype. She’d already heard about Dr. Chocolate. He was a flirt. She couldn’t believe Jenny was trying to set her up with the hospital womanizer.
“This is the PA I told you about.” Jenny winked at Rayn. “Alvin, this is Rayn. Rayn, Alvin.”
“Rayn.” He gazed at her. “Interesting name.” Alvin pointed at the empty seat. “May I?”
“Yes,” Jenny replied before Rayn could open her mouth to answer no. “She’s new in town. Maybe you can show her around, make her feel welcome.”
She wasn’t interested in being the new meat on the market. “Nah…” Rayn thinned her mouth and grabbed her stuff, feeling a bit annoyed. Is this woman really trying to set me up? “I already feel more than welcome.”
“Jenny!” The cafeteria cashier called out. “Your food is ready.”
“I have a date. See you guys later.” Jenny stood, and winked at Rayn. “Let the fighting begin.” She moved away with a spring in her step.
“Excuse me.” Rayn rose from her seat. “It was nice meeting you, Dr. Stuart. I need to get back to my rounds.”
“It’s Alvin.” He showed his pearly whites. “Hope to see you soon.”
“Whatever…” Rayn said under her breath. The man had player written all over him, and there was only one man she was interested in. She dug in her pocket, grabbed her cell, and texted him. I hope you’re having a good day.
Within seconds she received one back. I am. I hope you are too. I forgot to send you the picture Alex and I took yesterday. It was a photo of Ethan and Alex at the kids’ museum.
Rayn smiled giddy like a high school girl on her first date. Ethan wasn’t brushing her off. She’d made up her mind: she was going to fight for her family. He’d put it all on the table five years before. Now it was her turn. She came around the corner and passed the one woman at work she could call a real friend.
Kaliyah, a licensed clinical social worker at the hospital, had been helping Rayn cope with her demons. They’d met when a mutual patient had tried to commit suicide. “Is it Ethan that has that smile on your face?”
“Things are looking promising.” Rayn placed her cell in her front pocket. “You were right, honesty goes a long way.”
“Give him some time.” Kaliyah smoothed down her pencil skirt with her hands. “He’s been through a lot recently. Losing a parent is life-changing, especially the type of relationship they had. I know you’ve been through your share, too.”
“Kaliyah…” Rayn raised an eyebrow. “Are you shrinking me right now?”
“You’re right, you are not my patient.” She watched as Dr. Stuart hustled his way along the hallway. “Stay as far as you can from that.”
“Are you serious?” Rayn chuckled.
Kaliyah didn’t smile. “Seriously, don’t be caught alone with him, or else I will have to break each one of his fingers.”
“How’s your morning sickness?” Rayn glanced at Kaliyah’s midsection. She was just starting to show.
Kaliyah touched her belly. “You were right. Saltine crackers work wonders.”
“I’m the baby whisperer.” Rayn giggled, glancing at her wristwatch. “Time to head back.”
“See you later!” Her new friend walked into her private office space.
***
Ethan’s cell phone signaled he’d received a text. He picked it up and found himself making a silly smirk. Rayn had texted him. He felt like a damn high school boy who’d just received a note from his crush, accepting his invitation to the dance. He texted her back immediately and set his phone to the side.
He couldn’t concentrate on work, and stared at the computer screen. The numbers blurred as thoughts of Rayn and their son consumed him. His office phone rang, and he picked it up. “Hello.”
“Are we still on for lunch?”
Damn, he forgot he’d made plans with Jenny. “Yes.” He glanced at his wristwatch. “Can we meet in about an hour?” The
phone went silent.
“I’m already here.” Jenny stood at his office doorway with a couple of brown bags in her hand. “You’ve been so busy lately, I thought I would bring lunch to you.” She walked in and set the bags on his desk, then came around the side and planted a kiss on his lips.
Jenny tried to deepen the kiss, but Ethan eased back. “The door is open.”
“What’s going on with you? You never cared who watched before.” She stepped back from him and placed her hands in the front pockets of her scrubs.
“Jen, I’m at work.” Ethan began tapping his keyboard.
“Ethan, stop beating around the bush.” Jenny glared at him. “I haven’t heard from you in days. What the hell is going on?”
He sat up straight. “You remember the woman Elena mentioned?”
“What about her?” Her attitude was evident in the harsh way she replied.
“She didn’t come to Oklahoma alone.” He watched her closely.
“What do you mean?”
“She brought my son with her.”
Her eyebrows connected. “You have a kid?” Her voice softened. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Ethan stood, and closed the door to his office. “I didn’t know I had a son. I found out a few days ago. I’m still processing the idea that I’m someone’s father.”
“You found out a few days ago, and you didn’t think to tell me?” She leaned against his desk.
He didn’t have any excuse why he hadn’t told Jenny. Ethan had to admit he didn’t want his worlds to cross paths. His past was colliding with his present, which in many ways meant it was all crashing into his future.
“Why would she keep him away from you?”
“She has her reasons.” He was pissed at the whole situation. At times he was happy and the next minute he was angry all over again.
“Maybe she didn’t know if he was really yours.”
Ethan stared out the window, thinking of his son. He smiled internally at the way his son responded to his silly jokes. The kid had stolen his heart and he’d only known him for a little more than two weeks. “There’s no doubt. He is mine.”
“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Jenny touched his shoulder. “Does this change things with us?”
He honestly didn’t have an answer. Ethan turned to face Jenny. “I don’t want to string you along. I’m fucked up in the head right now.” He tapped his forehead. “I don’t know if I’m going or coming, most of the time. Having a kid is life-changing. The last thing on my mind was becoming a father, and now it’s the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last before falling asleep. She did a number on me years ago and now…”
“Do you still love her?” Jenny’s expression hurt his heart. Her eyes swam with unshed tears. His intention wasn’t to hurt her, or Rayn.
Ethan raked his fingers through his hair. Do I still love Rayn? He’d asked himself the same question more than once. Did I ever stop loving her?
“It’s a simple answer, yes or no.” Jenny frowned.
“Ethan—” His coworker opened the door without knocking. “My bad. I thought you were alone.”
Ethan sidestepped Jenny and walked to the middle of his office. “What’s going on?”
“We’re having a meeting in five minutes. You told me to remind you,” he said, clearly noting the tension in the room and easing himself out.
“Thanks.” Ethan wasn’t ready to turn and face Jenny. He didn’t have an answer for her or himself.
“Hey, this doesn’t have to affect our relationship.” She walked up to him, making him look at her. “If you’re sure whatever you had with this woman is over.”
“That’s the problem.” He moved over to his desk and picked up his pen and notepad. “I’m not sure about anything, anymore. Something I thought to be true wasn’t.” Ethan was being as honest as he could. “It’s up to you, if we can still be friends…”
Jenny didn’t drop eye contact as she cut him off. “Let me get this straight. So what you’re saying is I have the choice to be with a man who may or may not want me as a girlfriend, but we can be friends with benefits in the meantime until you get your shit together?”
“That’s not what I’m saying, Jenny.” He glanced at his watch, and the five-minute timeline. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Too late.” Jenny grabbed the bags off the desk. “You can get your own fucking lunch.” She marched out of his office.
“Shit,” he said, under his breath.
Jenny was a good woman; he hadn’t wanted to hurt her feelings. And he didn’t want to come off as a jackass, like he just had. Now he was on his way to the staff meeting, hungry, and in the doghouse with Jenny. He would need to call her right after the meeting.
Chapter Thirteen
Ethan watched Rayn and Alex play soccer in her back yard. He couldn’t contain the smile he was sporting. She must have just come from work because she was still wearing her blue scrubs. She kicked the ball and Alex redirected, sending it flying toward his goal. Ethan stared at Rayn as she cheered for their little boy as he ran and kicked the ball into the small, white net.
“Mommy!” He jumped up and down. “I did it!”
Rayn jogged up to him and gave him a high five. “I told you, you can do it. ‘I can’t’ is not in our vocabulary.”
She was so good with him. Rayn was a different person when she was around their son. The way she gazed at Alex whenever he was around made Ethan love her even more. He’d never seen himself being a family man until now.
Watching them interact reminded him of his relationship with his mother.
Alex giggled loudly as Rayn did a little shimmy dance when she hit the ball. “You did it.”
“Yes, goal!” Rayn jumped up and then slapped their little boy’s palm again. “I still have it.”
Someone cleared her throat, startling him. “Don’t let her get away.” The woman leaned against the wooden gate, also looking at her daughter and grandson play.
Ethan turned to face her.
“Get to know the person she’s become. I think you will fall in love with her all over again.” Mrs. Rhonda was a petite, elegant woman. Her gray hair was styled in a pixie cut.
He sighed. “So much has happened.”
“And,” Rhonda stepped in front of him, “I don’t want you to miss out on more precious time. Don’t you think Alex needs you in his life full-time?”
Ethan didn’t answer.
“I should’ve let Rayn tell you.” She took a sip of whatever she had in her coffee mug.
“Why didn’t you?”
She swallowed. “I’m not going to try and explain myself because honestly, there are no excuses.” She slowly closed the gate, walking farther into the yard. “I was afraid for my daughter and my grandson.”
“I could’ve been there to protect them?” Ethan stared at her.
“At what cost? I’m not only speaking about that man who accosted Rayn.” She cleared her throat. “You might have African blood running through your veins, but you don’t look like it. When people see Alex, they see a little black boy. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes.” Ethan knew exactly what Mrs. Rhonda was saying. Since finding out he had a son, he had been up at nights thinking of the same thing. He had so much he needed to learn. His mother went through her share of prejudice and injustice; however, he’d never experienced hatred himself due to the color of his skin.
“Ethan, raising black girls was hard enough. Imagine raising a black boy in this day and age.”
“I want to be able to be here for him for anything,” he replied. “I will never know how it feels to be a black man.”
“You don’t have to. You have strong black men on your side,” Rhonda reassured him. “Jarod would never allow any harm to come to your little boy, if he could help it.” She smiled, looking at her daughter and grandson run up and down the yard. “Jarod and Rayn have been through a lot because of who they are. What happened in col
lege, and after, has scared my daughter. I was so angry with Jarod for making her stay after the first incident. He said it would make her stronger in the end. I raised my daughters to be colorblind, even if their father wasn’t. However, Rayn’s experience made her look at other races differently, until she met you.”
Ethan had witnessed the pain, the humiliations Rayn went through. He’d tried to shield her from the world by agreeing to stay locked up, hidden inside that small studio apartment. They’d become each other’s safe haven. In the end, he’d made sure their aggressors had paid for their actions, one by one, without anyone knowing. Maverick had taken care of Colton with his fists, and Ethan had taken care of the rest by reporting, right before graduation, every little deed those assholes had done. Four culprits hadn’t graduated with them.
“Where I came from, I didn’t witness that kind of treatment. I say this, because I assumed if my husband knew Rayn was pregnant by a white man, he would’ve kicked her out. My assumption was dead wrong, about a lot of stuff. Jarod was livid when I came clean and told him you didn’t know about Alex.”
“Your husband didn’t know I was Alex’s father?” Ethan was stunned.
“No.”
“Why did you come clean?”
“One day, my innocent grandson asked me why he didn’t have a daddy. In that moment, I knew I’d stolen something precious from him—you.” Her eyes shone with tears. “Every kid should have both their parents in their lives, if possible, and I realized it was possible. I got down on my knees and prayed for forgiveness and a way to make things right.” She swallowed. “And then, hallelujah: your mother called.”
“Daddy!” Alex yelled as soon as he saw him. He ran up to Ethan and grabbed his hand. “Let’s play.”