“You sure?” He wiggles his eyebrows almost causing me to laugh. “I heard American birds get straight to it.”
“Listen, Luke, you’re a good looking guy and all, but I need a lot more build up than a drink and car ride.” I pat his chest. “See ya.”
“Where ya going?”
“Home.”
“Let me drive you.”
“It’s cool. I got it. For your consideration, when you’re famous, this kind of bullshit behavior hits the papers.” I open the car door, then look back at him. “By the way, lose my number.”
His face falls, and as he opens his mouth to speak, I slam the car door shut and start to walk down the sidewalk dialing the taxi number I have saved in my phone. When I get to a street sign, I tell the dispatcher where I’m at, and in just a few minutes, the car arrives. I hop in, provide my address, then lean back and laugh. I don’t feel quite as bad as I did using Luke for my own benefit, but then again, I deserved a crappy date. I wonder if Ellis is fairing any better.
When we arrive to my place, I pay, and step out, staring up at the luxury building in front of me, thankful the media hasn’t figured out where I live. Yet.
Entering, I nod my head at Charles, the night clerk on Saturdays, then make my way up to my floor. As I walk into my apartment, I toss my handbag in the armchair and peel out of my coat, only to twist around when I hear a knock on my door. When I open it, Ellis is standing there with a grin on his face.
“You’re home earlier than I expected.”
I step aside letting him enter. “Same to you. Bad date?”
“One of the worst I’ve had. You?”
“Tried to talk me into a quick shag.”
Ellis’s eyes open. “Men like to do that to you.”
“Well, I’m hot.”
He laughs. “That you are. How did you get out of it?”
“It was easy. Just told him to tuck his bangers and mash back in his pants.”
“He pulled it out?”
“Oh yes, pulled it out and put my hand right on it. Said he heard American birds, as he says, like to get straight to the point.”
“Bloody hell. Are you alright?”
“Yeah.” I kick off my heels. “Just as well. What happened with you?”
“How about I pour us a drink and we’ll debrief?”
“Sounds good. Mind if I change?”
“Of course not. I’ll be waiting.”
“Cool.” I walk into the bedroom and quickly change into a sweatshirt and yoga pants, then join Ellis in the living room where he’s already turned on the fireplace and is sitting on the sofa. He looks up, gracing me with his spectacular smile.
“Would you by any chance be hungry?” he asks.
“Actually I am.”
“Do you like Thai? There’s a place nearby that delivers and it’s very good.”
“Sure.” I sit next to him, lifting my cocktail to my lips and taking a sip. “Order whatever.”
“Okay.” He picks up his phone and calls, placing an order, then leans back on the couch as he hangs up. “I met Julia at a charity event a few months before I met you. She’s very pretty, but also quiet and a bit shy in my assessment. Not really my cup of tea, hence why I waited to call for so long.”
“Uh huh.”
“So I learned tonight that she was more than shy. She’s atrociously boring. Nothing to talk about, nothing interesting about her life at all. It was like, I don’t know like speaking to a wall. I would speak and she just stared at me as though she didn’t understand English.”
I chuckle. “Maybe she was overwhelmed by you.”
“Regardless, not an attractive trait. After an awkward appetizer, I took her home straight away, and she had the nerve to offer her cheek to me for a kiss.”
“Ooh, not her cheek.” I laugh. “Hilarious.”
Ellis chuckles. “I ignored it and told her to take care. She asked if she would hear from me again, and I told her that I didn’t see us having any shared interests.”
“How did she take that?”
“Her face did fall, but it was literally ridiculous.”
I sip my drink, chuckling softly. “Poor girl.”
“Yes, poor girl, but I need fire in my women, and that girl didn’t even have a spark.”
“Well, at least she didn’t whip it out.”
Ellis throws his head back in laughter. “Yes, there’s that.”
A few minutes later our food is delivered and we dig into eating for a bit before talking again.
“But they saw you, right?” I ask.
“Oh yes,” he nods, after chewing his bite of Pad Thai. “They saw me. I ignored as you suggested, except one who pushed his way forward and asked for your whereabouts.”
“Ooh, what did you say?”
“I said as it was the weekend, I had no idea. Your time is your own in the off hours.”
I lift his hand for a high five and he taps it with his. “Nice. Perfect response.”
“Thank you. Julia asked who you were and I said my publicist, but in my head, I thought, one of the most incredible women I’ve ever met.” I open my mouth to speak, but he stops me. “Ah, before you interject, I am not flirting or shifting the conversation to topics we agreed to let lie. I am honestly saying that you are a wonderful person. So interesting and fun and smart. Even if you were a man, I’m sure I would enjoy your company.”
“Thanks, Ellis. That’s really nice.”
“It’s very true.”
I chew a few bites of dinner, just watching him. “You know, you’re not at all like I thought you were at first. I thought we would have this contentious relationship, always a battle of wills, but you’re pretty agreeable.” I smile. “Once you understand. I can see now why your staff is so loyal and respectful of you.”
“All I have, Avery, is my word as a man. If you stripped everything else away, what is left but one’s integrity? That is why this whole mess wounded me so. I would rather have so many other ugly qualities attributed to me than for anyone to question my integrity, and suddenly the whole of London looked at me as though I was a terrible person. Supposed friends who knew me for years turned their backs just like that. Not one called to say I’m still here for you. Only David and Annabelle. Without them, honestly, I don’t know if I could have made it through those first few weeks. They were my anchors during the storm. I will treasure their friendship until the day I die.”
I put my fork down. “Those other people weren’t real friends. They didn’t deserve you.”
“I know, but that didn’t make it easy to accept. I felt so alienated. It was awful.”
“I can relate.”
“Ah, yes, I believe you are one of the few people in the world who can.” He twirls his fork through his noodles. “Now you are one of my anchors, Avery. You keep me on safe ground until the storm passes. What you have done for me, continue to do for me, is priceless. There are not enough words to thank you.”
“We’re not done yet, but you have my word that I’ll work as long and as hard as I need to for you.”
“I already know this. Do you remember earlier this week when I said that I liked you?”
“Of course.”
“You told me you liked me too.”
“Right.”
“I don’t believe that I’ve ever had a friendship with a woman.” He shakes his head. “I mean…I don’t know how to say what I’m thinking.”
“You don’t have to edit. You can be real with me.”
“Right.” He nods and I watch as his Adam’s apple undulates in his throat. “I’ve never been friends with someone I’m so desperately attracted to. I’ve never given it time. I’ve been so afraid of intimacy for some reason, that I never gave it a chance, but now with you, I wasn’t given a choice, and I can honestly say that I am so happy to call you a friend.”
“I’m happy too.”
“Someday, I hope that…” He pauses, shaking his head. “I should stop.”
“Tell me, Ellis. Ple
ase.”
He nods slowly before fixing his eyes on mine. “I hope that our friendship is so much more. I would like to experience that with you- the blending of friendship and romance.” He smiles. “Now, let’s pour ourselves some scotch and look at internet alerts and distract me from my ever present desire to kiss you.”
I smile, rubbing his hand. “Good idea. I need the distraction too.”
Ellis gently pinches my chin. “Do you think about it? As much as I do, I mean. Kissing.”
“Yes.”
“Do you fear it?”
I shake my head. “No. Do you?”
“Yes.”
Tilting my head, I continue. “Why? I scare you?”
“You do. I fear that your kiss will possess me.”
I gently roll my eyes. “Like I’m the devil?”
“No, love, not the devil. Just the only woman capable of enchanting my soul. That is dangerous territory to someone who’s never felt that before. It’s like walking into the darkest woods not knowing what you’ll find there or how you’ll react to it. Not knowing if you’re strong enough to protect the princess. Am I man enough to battle the dragons for her? Because, Avery, I might go into those woods for you. Only for you.”
I glance down at my near empty glass, both surprised and stunned by his words. Before I can speak, he continues.
“Perhaps you’re thinking you don’t need a warrior to save you. You’re strong enough to battle the dragons yourself, but I think you’re strong because you’ve had to be. Because no one was there to help carry the load for you, and even the strongest warriors tire after a long battle. Avery?”
I look up swallowing hard as unexpected tears cloud my eyes.
“If I go into the woods, if you allow me to, I want to help carry the load. I want you to feel safe enough to lay down your sword and lean against me. I won’t let you fall.”
As I study his eyes, part of me wants to climb into his lap and kiss his beautiful poetic mouth, but the other part of me knows he’s right. Once we do that, we can’t come back. We can’t normalize. It’s not time yet.
“Have I overwhelmed you?” he asks.
I shake my head, finding a smile. “No, Ellis. You’ve captivated me. Someday…” I exhale slowly. “Someday, Ellis, I hope you follow me into the woods, because it’s dark for me too, and I’ll need someone strong to help me get out.”
“What will we find once we’re out?” He leans close to me. “Do you know?”
“No, but whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. We’re smart.”
He smiles. “Yes, we are.” He sits back. “Now that I did exactly what I said I wouldn’t, would you like me to go?”
“No. Let’s have another drink and look at internet alerts.”
“Yes. Let’s do that.”
After spending time looking through the predicted, and frankly, planned gossip posts on each of us, I look at the bottle of scotch nearing its completion and laugh.
“I’m drunk.”
Ellis laughs softly. “So am I. I should go.”
“Nooo. Stay.” I pat his chest. “Tell me something I don’t know about you.”
“You don’t know a lot of things.”
“So it’s easy then.”
He nods, chuckling. “Hmm. I don’t know.”
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Black.”
“That’s not a color, Ellis.”
“It is, love. They sell clothes, furniture, all sorts of things in that color.”
“Fine. Second favorite?”
“White.”
I sigh, rolling my eyes. “You’re being a brat.”
He smiles, kissing the back of my hand. “What’s yours?”
“Pink.”
He tilts his head. “That doesn’t go with you at all.”
“Maybe you don’t really know me yet. You think I’m edgy and all badass, but maybe I’m just a girl who likes pink, and flowers, and glitter.”
He laughs. “Glitter?”
“Sure.”
“That may be true, but you are definitely not a girl.”
I cup my breasts through my sweatshirt. “Nope. I’m grown.”
“Stop that, Avery.”
I drop my hands, grinning. “Sorry. I was just playing.”
“I know.”
“Ellis?”
“Yes?”
“Can I hug you right now?”
“Right now?”
“Yeah. I just want a hug. From you.”
“Okay.”
I scoot across the couch and into his arms, where I lean my head against his chest, listening to the soft rhythmic beat of his heart. It’s calming, like a lullaby, and it isn’t long before my eyes become heavy from too much scotch. It must be the middle of the night by now, and as Ellis’s hand gently strokes my hair and back, I give into the sweet call of sleep.
Chapter 23 Ellis
Glancing down at Avery, I see that she’s fallen asleep in my arms. It warms my heart that she feels comfortable enough with me to do it. It warms every other part of me that her body is wrapped around mine. I don’t want to disturb her, and honestly, I don’t want to let her go. I shift, trying to lift her, but she just murmurs, gripping my waist as her arms slide around me. The floral scent of her hair tickles my nose, like burying your face in the first bouquet of Spring, and as I suspected, it feels like a luxuriously thick blanket of cashmere. She is just as breathtaking asleep as she is awake. I decide to enjoy this and close my eyes to join her in rest.
◆◆◆
When I next open my eyes, I look down to see Avery still tucked against me as if she’s cold so I pull her closer, wrapping my arms around her. She stirs, but remains sleeping soundly in my arms. I look up, noticing how the light of day is just starting to overtake the night. A quick glance at my watch reveals that it’s nearly seven in the morning. A smile creeps across my lips knowing we slept the entire night in this spot on the couch, wrapped in each other’s arms. I’ve never actually held a woman like this, but I must admit, it might be the nicest feeling in the world.
After lying this way for a few more minutes, Avery shifts in my arms as her eyes slowly flutter open. When she focuses on me, she smiles, and it nearly takes my breath away.
“Hey,” she says, softly.
“Morning.”
“Is it?”
I nod. “It is.”
“We slept here?”
“We did.”
“Oh, you must be so stiff.”
“No. I feel…” The best I ever have. “Rested.”
“Good.”
“How did you sleep?”
“Fantastic.”
“Excellent.”
She shifts again, rubbing her body against mine, and it becomes very obvious from my engorged cock that my desire for her did not subside as we slept. I’m hoping she doesn’t notice, but that hope is dashed, when she grins and says, “is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
Clearing my throat, I try to sit up, but Avery doesn’t move. “It’s a common morning occurrence.”
“Oh. So it’s not me?”
“And if it were?”
“I’d be flattered.”
“And if it weren’t?”
“I’d still think it was because of me.”
I laugh softly. “Can you get off of me now?”
“Do you really want me to?”
“No, I don’t, but it’s necessary.”
Instead of moving off me, she slides up my body, pressing hers against mine, and kisses my cheek, then sits up. “You’re exactly the gentleman I believed you were.”
“Because I didn’t take advantage of my very drunk publicist last night?”
She laughs softly. “No, because you didn’t seduce, and you could have, and we might have.”
I nod. “I had no intention of seducing you. As delightful as that sounds.”
“Yeah, delightful.” She smiles. “You know… I’ve never d
one that before. Sleep with a man I wasn’t having sex with.”
“What did you think?”
“I thought it was awesome. It was very comforting, and maybe…” She smiles. “I should just shut up and make some coffee.”
“No. You should tell me what you were thinking. I desperately want to know.”
She looks down, studying her hands for a moment, before fixing her sky blue eyes on me. “I haven’t really had a relationship, I mean, been in a situation that was intimate.” She shakes her head. “I’m not being clear.”
“I’m listening.”
She nods. “I don’t just talk to men. I don’t eat dinner and talk about favorite colors and fall asleep in their arms.” Her smile just barely tugs at her lips. “But last night was really fun, and waking up in your arms made me realize…” She closes her eyes as she exhales.
“Realize what, Avery?”
“It made me see I’m tired of sleeping alone.”
Taking her hand in mine, I play with her fingers. “I completely understand.”
“Do you?”
“It’s been a long time for me as well. I convinced myself that you get used to it. You don’t notice how cold the bed is with only one occupant. You tell yourself you like your freedom, your lack of attachments, your ability to choose a new partner at will. You tell yourself you’re not lonely, you choose solitude.”
Avery nods. “Yeah. Because you’re scared. You can’t trust people. You can’t put your guard down, so you’d rather be alone than risk being hurt.”
“Yes.” My god, yes.
“And then one day you meet someone you do trust and you do put your guard down and you feel safe and hopeful, but then…” She blinks her eyes rapidly. “But then a new fear takes over.”
“Tell me your fear, Avery. Perhaps we share it.”
“What if…we…you and I…” She looks away again.
“Avery? Darling, look at me.” She turns her face towards me. “You can tell me anything.”
“I’m actually trying to, but I can’t find words. It’s something I haven’t yet defined. We’re not supposed to be doing this. Sleeping in each other’s arms and talking late into the night. We’re supposed to be colleagues. There shouldn’t be anything else.”
“But there is.”
“Yeah, and I’m not sure it’s just attraction alone anymore.”
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