“That your idea eh? Fuckin taxin me because ay what happened wae Willie!? Ah ken your fuckin game ya fat bastard ye, always feedin him wae ideas!”
“Ah dinnae ken what yer talkin about Davy!”
“Dinnae gimme me yer shite! Ah bet you’ve put him up tae this! Think Ah’m fuckin well stupid? Ah see ye havin yer little quiet words in his ear. Clingin tae his side like a fat fuckin lap dog!”
“Ye’ve lost yer bloody mind man!”
Davy rammed a fist hard into Bob’s jaw, sending him sprawling as he tried to drag himself out of harm’s way. “Well here’s what’s gonnae happen. Whatever figure that greedy bastard comes up wae, you’re gonnae double it! Fer as long as he wants tae keep up this fuckin power trip! Ah know the majority of his drug money goes intae that lock-up you’ve got in that back room. So every week when Ah come knockin you’re gonnae remove as much as Ah feel like takin. That way he’s the one gettin fuckin taxed!”
“Ye cannae dae this tae me David! Yer gonnae bury me!”
“An if any of this gets back tae Dougie this time around that will be the last fuckin fish supper you ever eat ya FAT BASTARD!”
28
Billy slowly lifted his head and rose from his pit, wondering for a second or two where he was and what day it was. He rolled over, attempting to clear the cobwebs, straining his mind to try and retrieve some memories from the previous few days of blurry oblivion. He walked across the room, standing on an empty can of Tennent’s and knocking over a full ashtray as he went. He looked back for a few seconds, wondering where Lyndsay was before slowly making his way into the kitchen, using the wall to prop up his shaky frame as he went.
As he filled up the kettle and switched it on, small details began creeping into his fried brain. Making a moronic attempt at mixing a pair of turntables in Joe’s flat, a running battle with a bunch of angry Leithers on Lothian Road. Snapshots, bits and pieces, but from Saturday night onwards nothing but black space. As the kettle came to the boil he fished around in his fridge for a half empty pint of milk that was a week past its sell by date.
Bastard...
After braving the walk to the shops for a pint of milk, an Evening News and a chippy, he picked up the receiver pondering who to call. He considered Lyndsay but he had a feeling in his gut that would be a bad move. They had only been seeing each other a few months and already in that short time frame he had pissed her off more times than he could count. He knew he had promised to meet her on Sunday and yet he had no recollection whatsoever of that entire day so either they had met and he had made a complete cunt of things or he had blanked her. Either way she would be pissed off and he wasn’t in the right head space to deal with that. Billy and girlfriends, not a good combination. Maybe he was destined to be a cunt to women. Bravo Billy, finally taking after the old man. He picked up a half smoked joint from the night before, lit it up and fell back onto his mattress.
He picked up the Evening News as he released a cloud of smoke from his mouth and scanned the front page. What he read made him jerk forward, spilling several hotrocks onto the bed sheet.
A bad batch of the dance drug ecstasy has been blamed for two collapses in an Edinburgh nightclub. Two youths collapsed in the Venue on Calton Road in the early hours of Sunday morning. The collapses were blamed on a suspect batch of ecstasy tablets that have entered Edinburgh. The tablets, known as Snowballs, are said to contain high levels of the horse tranquiliser ketamine, as opposed to the usual levels of the substance MDMA which is said to create the loved-up ecstasy feeling.
Billy snatched up the receiver and jammed in George’s digits.
The following morning Billy pulled up outside Telford College, George in the passenger seat and Joe and Jimmy in the back.
“Fuckin horse tranquiliser, explains a lot. Fuckin blackout material,” grumbled Billy as he searched the crowds for Andy Riley, trying his hardest not to let the tidy fanny on all sides distract him. It was a cracking day but his head was still burst from the weekend. This was why he had a pair of jet black Ray-Bans wrapped around his dome. Not for the sun, but to disguise his bloodshot eyes. “Ah can barely remember a thing since Saturday.” Billy shook his head sadly.
“Last Ah remember is bein bent over a fuckin bin spewin ma load, no kennin where Ah wis. Ended up wanderin aboot toon fer hours tryin tae get ma bearings. Felt like Ah wis walkin aboot in slow motion man,” said Jimmy as he pressed his freckled forehead against the window.
“Nae ride again then?” said Joe, prompting laughter from Billy and George in the front.
“Aye you can talk ya lanky bastard.”
“There he is!” shouted Billy, watching as George flung the car door open and bounced out. He grabbed the pale faced figure of Andy Riley by the scruff of his collar and dragged him across the pavement like a rag doll, his Reebok pumps trailing behind him as several startled students stopped in their tracks and looked on with concern, clutching their books and folders. It was clear they weren’t used to seeing other students manhandled into cars and abducted from the campus in broad daylight. As George flung him in the back next to Jimmy and Joe, Billy leaned forward and addressed the gathering audience outside.
“Show’s over, people. Nowt tae see here! We’ll have um back in one piece dinnae you worry!”
“Guys what’s goin on? I’ve a class to go to!”
“Change of plan, Andy pal.” As Billy stepped on the accelerator Andy let out a high pitched yelp, punctuated only by the clunk of steel against knee cap.
Jimmy flung an arm around Andy’s neck. “Do you wantae explain the story in yesterday’s paper, Andy?”
“Look, it was a dodgy batch, it happens! Aaaaaahhhh!” Again that sound of steel against knee cap.
“No tae us it fuckin doesnae!”
By the time Billy had reached the roundabout at the Shell Garage, both Joe and Jimmy were taking pot shots at will, giving poor Andy’s legs a hammering. Billy slammed a Rez tape in the player and cranked up the volume to drown out the screams. It was a shame, because Billy kind of liked Andy in spite of all his geekiness. But they had to make a statement that shit drugs were a serious no no. Since Dale Alscott’s arrest, they had moved swiftly and with force to occupy the void left within the Venue, giving them a regular base with which to operate and push their custom. They were making good cash with plenty to go around for everyone. Even the young team at the bottom of the ladder were getting a taste. Add to this the raves, legal and illegal, the house parties, the widening customer base it was all kicking off.
Billy increased the speed up to fourth gear as he swerved round the roundabout past the Shell Garage and off in the direction of Silverknowes. “Jist goin fer a wee drive doon the beach Andy boy!” he shouted as he stepped harder on the accelerator.
Billy pulled up at the very same spot where they had first brokered their arrangement a couple of months previously. The place was choc-a-block with families, dog walkers and groups of teenagers. It was early May with a bit of sun ranging above ten degrees and everyone was out basking in it. Tops off like they were in the Med.
Billy pushed stop on the tape player, leaving nothing but the sound of Andy’s whimpering in the back. A couple of seconds later and he was screaming again as Jimmy began pushing the metal bar into his windpipe.
“Right guys, leave um be,” said Billy before turning around and flinging a copy of the Evening News at Andy’s face.
“So what's the deal wae the shite eccies then Andy? Now we look like right cunts.”
“It was a b-bad batch, n-n-nothing I could do. This makes me and my crew look bad as well man.”
“It’s no fuckin good enough,” said Billy.
Joe skelped him round the head before pointing in his face. “Ye hear that? No good enough!”
“Ah’m s-sorry Billy! Ah donno what ye want me tae say?”
“Ah want assurances it’s no gonnae happen again is what Ah want.”
Joe cracked him again this time in the shin, followed by another one fr
om Jimmy.
“Please make them stop! Please!” Tears were now streaming down his face.
“Well we’re gonnae give ye a chance tae redeem yersel awright? See we’re sick of havin tae go through you an yer faggot arse pals fer our gear. Fae now on we deal directly wae the supply.”
“That’s gonnae be difficult. They only deal with a handful of folk. They’re funny that way, folk they can trust. They’re big-time.”
George turned around, having stayed silent until now, casting a stare that clearly had Andy shitting bricks, as if he wasn’t already. “What and we’re no like?”
“You callin us small-time? Eh!” screamed Jimmy, before throttling him with the bar again.
“Right Jimmy, let the cunt breathe,” said Billy with a smirk. “Things are gonnae change awright? End of fuckin story. We’re the cunts wae egg oan our faces an we want proper assurances. So you're gonnae talk tae your pal, who’s gonnae talk tae his pals pals an me an George are gonnae go meet thum, have a drink and talk business. An they’re gonnae have tae trust us cause we’re shiftin a lot ay gear fer thum. An if ye don’t do what were askin ye tae dae, Ah’ll cut you up personally. An then we’ll come after yer pals. Ye got it?”
“A-aye.”
“Clever laddie.”
After dropping a shaken and limping Andy Riley back at Telford College, Billy headed for The Gunner. As he pulled up outside however something was nagging at him. It was a weird feeling. He wasn’t used to giving two fucks about anyone other than himself, his mates and his mum, certainly not some bird, but the fact he was concerned he may have messed things up altogether this time either by standing her up, or worse, meant he clearly gave a shit. He stared at the front of The Gunner whilst the lads got out the car, weighing up whether to sack it and go for a pint or go and speak to Lyndsay.
“Ye comin or what?” said George.
“Ah better go an sort things oot wae her guys eh.”
The response was predictable, especially with this crowd. Within seconds they were falling over one another with laughter, and he couldn’t say a thing because if it had been one of them he would have been exactly the same.
“Aw aye, hear that boys? Goin crawlin back tae the bird are ye?” said Joe.
“Aye aye, get it oot yer systems. Least Ah’ve got one tae crawl back tae ya cunt.”
“Ah can dae waeoot the heidache mate.” said Joe.
“Jist let her come tae you Billy. Fuck her,” said Jimmy.
“Nah, fuck it. Ah might as well go an find oot the damage while her battleaxe ay a mother isnae aboot.”
George smiled. “Just dinnae let her get her claws in too deep mate or next thing ye know ye’ll be spendin yer Saturday nights sittin in watchin Easties.”
“No chance,” smiled Billy.
As he walked up the path to Lyndsay’s front door, closing the gate behind him, he was knocked off guard by the piercing yapping of her Jack Russell Stanley.
“And what exactly do you want? We’re over, period.”
“What ye talkin aboot?”
She laughed out loud. “What am I talking about? I’m talking about you turning up at Fraser’s an hour late on Sunday afternoon, stinking of bevy, shouting and swearing your head off. Going fighting with folk in the street. And then falling asleep in a restaurant. Just as we were about to order. Then as if that’s not bad enough, after we were politely asked to leave the restaurant you started on the waiter, collapsed on your arse, then when I tried to help you up you shoved me away and left! Looks like you were right to begin with. You are bad to the stinking bone! I’m worth more than this so you can go and find some other mug!”
“Fuck sakes, at least Ah turned up!?”
She threw him a look of disbelief before slamming the door hard in his face.
He spent the next five minutes ringing the doorbell, tapping her living room window and throwing stones up at her bedroom window but to no avail, as the sound of Stanley’s barking tore away at his thumping head.
All the while he wondered what the hell he was playing at. The guys were right. This was mental, relationships weren’t for him. The thought of ending up like his mum and dad was his biggest nightmare anyway. As he stormed back down the pathway with the image of an ice cold pint in his mind, suddenly the door opened.
“Five minutes.”
The scent of her house reminded him of bubble baths when he was a bairn, one of his few happy childhood memories. In the living room there were two enormous fluffy beige couches that were the comfiest things he had ever sat on. Wished he had one as a bed, he would never leave the fucker. That was Morningside for you, folk with serious money, the other side of society. Made him feel awkward, out of place. He was probably about the only Muirhouser who had set foot in a house on that street or even that area without the intention of robbing it.
“Shall Ah take ma shoes off?”
She sniffed at him. “No. Yer not staying.”
He pulled the Evening News out from his back tail and dropped it on the glass table in front of her. “Page four, read it."
“What’s this, my star sign?”
“Just read it eh. An dae me a favour an get rid ay that dug. What a racket, man.”
“Stanley! Out!” She picked up the paper and began reading.
“Snowballs, bad E’s. Picked up a load ay thum oan Saturday. Nae wonder Ah wis in such a state.”
“You were out of your mind on speed and vallies. Couple of dodgy tablets aren’t gonna make much of a difference are they?”
“Ah cannae remember a thing fae Saturday night Ah swear it. Tryin tae tell me ye’ve ever seen me in a state like that before?”
“Not far off anyway.”
“Come on eh.”
“You’re out yer brain all the time Billy. What kind of a life is that?”
“I’ve no touched anythin since Sunday.”
“It’s now what, Tuesday? Two days!”
“Talk about the pot callin the kettle black. You’ve dabbled now, after aw that pish that ye never would. You an yer wee pals fae Mary Erskines days.”
“Aye once, for a rave. Not every bloody weekend!”
“What, an that makes it awright does it? So it’s awright fer you but no fer me?”
“I’ll not be touchin thum again after reading that, as if I didnt already know. Don’t know what you’re taking; it’s too dangerous.”
“Dinnae worry, there’ll no be any more bad ones. We’ve made sure ay that.”
“You an George flex yer big muscles did you?”
“Ah’m jist makin a livin awright? What dae ye expect me tae dae, live off ma dole cheque?”
“Get a normal job! Like normal people!”
“Wae a record like mine? Come on eh! Ah make anywhere up tae a few grand a week, untaxed.” Billy puffed out his chest. “Ma money paid fer that watch oan yer wrist, an Ah didnae hear ye complainin aboot ma choice of career when ye got that did Ah?”
“Aye well that money won’t count fer much when yer sitting in a prison cell or dead will it?”
“Ah’m careful eh.”
“So! It’ll catch up with you eventually.”
“Aye, well it beats slavin away oan a buildin site an endin up wae a broken back by the time Ah’m forty. Look at ma auld man. Sorry cunt’s practically a fuckin cripple.”
“What a lovely way tae speak about yer own father.”
“HEY! He’s no said one good word tae me since the day Ah wis born awright? Only time he opened his mouth tae me was tae drum it intae ma wee heed how worthless Ah wis! An how Ah’d never amount tae fuck all!”
“Ah’m sorry.”
“It’s awright.” Billy turned and walked towards the window. He pulled the curtain to the side and looked out onto the street. “Sorry fer bein a fuckin idiot, an lettin ye doon. Ah sometimes get jealous, ye ken that?”
“Jealous of what?”
“You’ve got a nice home. Parents who get on well. That look after ye. Want the best fer ye. Granted the
y think Ah’m the scum of the earth. Well yer auld dear anyway. But it’s only because they want the best fer ye. Dinnae blame her fer thinkin that. Ye wantae ken what used tae happen tae me if Ah stepped ootae line when Ah wis a laddie? Ah used tae get hit wae a stick. Had this long thin piece of wood, that he’d hit me wae again and again. If he wis in a good mood he’d maybe use a belt.” He shook his head. “That wis light treatment, ken? Ma auld dear didnae huv his tea ready fer um when he got back fae his work, or made um somethin he wisnae happy wae, she’d get slapped aw ower the kitchen. What gave um the right? Should’ve been locked up.”
“I’m so sorry, Billy. I had no idea.”
“Dinnae be. It’s the past eh. If Ah ever caught um at it now Ah’d murder um. Last time Ah wis at the hoose Ah walked in an ma auld dear wis wipin the tears away. Ah knew somethin had gone on. Fuckin knew it. Seen um sittin there in the livin room wae that screwed up guilty look oan is face. Made me sick. Tried tae speak tae ma auld dear, but she wisnae sayin a word. Made some half ersed excuse fer um eh, same old, same old. Ah went an sat in ma room an Ah jist felt this anger man, like fuckin fire burnin in ma stomach. Hud this vision ay walkin straight intae the livin room an murderin um right there in cauld blood. Only thing that stopped me wis the fact that Ah knew ma auld dear would never speak tae me again. That’s the only thing that stopped me Ah swear it. Anyway Ah shouldnae be tellin ye this shit.”
“It’s alright.”
“It’s like see when Ah take eccies? It feels like nowt matters anymair. Aw that shite fae the past melts away. Aw that anger an everythin that goes wae it just vanishes, an jist fer a wee while Ah’m happy. Actually happy, ken? The only other thing in this world that can mae me feel that way is you. Ah love ye Lyndse. Ah’ve no had a lot ay good things in ma life, ye ken that. Ah jist, Ah jist dinnae wantae lose ye. Ah know Ah can be a bastard tae ye when am oot ma face, an Ah know Ah’m a bad person, but you’re the only pure thing Ah’ve got goin in ma life right now.”
Pure Angst Page 14