by Geri Krotow
“What if you don’t find them?”
“Then I’ll have to figure out something else to investigate.”
“So your ultimate motivation isn’t about Gio.” Spoken quietly, his words held no judgement or criticism.
“It’s twofold. I want justice for my best friend, yes. And I want to move on from the Mustang Valley Gabber and secure an investigative journalist position at a more prestigious publication.”
“Is there a paper or news organization you’re targeting?” His voice was low and sexy and she wondered if he realized how attractive he was. How many FBI profilers could switch from badass agent to serene birder all in the same day?
“Not really. I wouldn’t want to have to leave Mustang Valley, and with most organizations I can work from home except for when I have to travel for a story. But I’m not opposed to leaving, either.”
“I’ve stayed here, in Arizona, I mean, and a couple of times I was worried I’d thrown my career away with some of my job decisions. But so far it’s all worked out. Unfortunately for all of us, there are enough cases to keep the Phoenix field office in business for the next decade. It’s a good thing for me, personally, as I’ve been able to stay here and be closer to my family.”
“Did you grow up in Phoenix?”
“I did, in a suburb of it. It was so hard to be away from my family and everything I’d known when I went in the army and then ended up downrange. That’s when I met Spencer.”
“Did you realize you were both from Arizona? And southeastern, to boot?”
“Not at first. I learned more about him after he shoved me out of the way of friendly fire during a training event.”
“He never told me or Jarvis that.”
“He wouldn’t, would he? Spencer is that kind of hero.”
Understanding dawned. “That’s why you’re so close—you were with him during that one training exercise.” She mentioned the location and even in the dark, with the moonlight she was able to make out the grimace on his face.
“Yes.” Nothing more was needed.
“Holden, I know it’s awkward, but about this morning...” She halted on the path. They were far ahead of the crowds as their pace had taken them to a more remote location. Stars sprinkled the outer edges of the light shining off the moon and she suddenly wanted to come back here with this man and see all the stars.
“Hey.” He tugged on her hand and she took the two steps to be up against him, where the feel of his breath as it stirred the wisps of hair on her temple lit the fire that burned only for him. “It’s fast for me, believe it or not. I never meant to make love to you like that, this soon. You deserve to be wined and dined first, at least.”
“So you thought about it beforehand?” She’d feared it was a spur-of-the-moment decision for him, an opportunity.
“Touché.” He wrapped his arms around her, their bulky binoculars and cameras the only items between them. “I just accused you of being an opportunist for doing your job—I suppose I had that coming to me. Yes, I’ve thought about taking you to bed since the minute you walked into the school.”
She shivered with desire in the cool desert night, and wished there were no pageant, that the serial killer were made up, and that Gio were still here.
Gio.
Instead of feeling the usual guilt that she wasn’t doing enough to search for what had really killed Gio, a wave of exhaustion swept over her. “I wish we’d met under different circumstances, too.” But even if they had, he lived in Phoenix, two hours away. Was she ready for a long-distance relationship? Was he?
“We aren’t going to figure out what’s going on between us right now, Bella. There are too many things competing for our attention. I suggest we enjoy the moment.”
“I couldn’t agree more.” She moved to continue their walk but he pulled her up short, cupped her head in his palm and lowered his lips to hers. As before, her body responded immediately to his caresses, and her lips tingled with the passion they shared.
As her breathing grew more rapid she held on to his shoulders as tightly as possible. It was like floating in water that was over her head and Holden was her safety, his tall, lean length all she needed or wanted to stay alive.
When he stilled and lifted his head, she nearly whimpered from the withdrawal of heat from her mouth.
“Shh.” His insistent order made her freeze, and fear began to shoot cold arrows through her heart. No, not now. How had the serial killer found them?
“What?” She trusted him implicitly. If anyone could save them, it was Holden.
“Do you hear it?”
She stilled her breathing and tried to tune out her rapid heartbeat. Fearful of hearing heavy footsteps, she almost missed it. But then, through her fears and reaction to this man, she heard it.
Hoooooot.
“A pygmy owl.” She’d memorized the birdcalls years ago, for the article she had mentioned to Holden earlier.
“Yes. With juveniles. Listen.” Sure enough, after the mother or father’s long call, tiny, more “chirpy” sounds split the silence. Relief rushed in, followed by something she’d never been able to grasp no matter how long she’d ever dated a single person.
Trust.
* * *
It was too easy. Did they think they couldn’t be followed, found, wherever they went? It would be easier if she were alone but no worries. He’d taken out other men who thought they were protecting the women, too.
They weren’t in the house, which was a shame. He’d been able to break through the MVPD patrols with little trouble, once night fell. The feed from the camera he’d put over her bathroom window had disappeared, and he figured the police got it since he didn’t see it from the perimeter of the property. He couldn’t get close enough right now, but as soon as he knew they were back in the house, together, he’d get her.
And she’d pay for running away tonight.
* * *
The next morning Bella’s phone woke her before dawn and she automatically answered, thinking it was one of her brothers. Holden had resumed his position on her sofa after they’d returned, assuring both of them that MVPD had her house under a basic lockdown. There was no safer place for her at this point.
“Hello?”
“Quit the pageant. You’re in over your head.” The same distorted voice that she’d heard before her world went dark in the staff room, backstage. Wide awake now, she bolted from her bed and moved in the darkness out of her room, into the hall and into Holden’s granite physique.
“Who is it?”
She continued to listen, but the caller had disconnected.
“It was the same person as before. They hung up.” Trembling began and, to her consternation, deepened in intensity. “It—it—it was him.”
“Shh.” He pulled her into his arms, held her tight. “You’re safe. I’m here.”
“I used to be so tough, but now I’m a puddle after a stupid prank call.”
“Hey, you’re not out of line to be afraid. This call wasn’t just another crank call, but from a lethal killer. I’ll have my handler see if he can get anything from the phone company.”
“Thanks, that’s reassuring me about now.” She smiled through the tears that ran down her face, her reaction to anger and frightening circumstances. She let his shirt absorb her tears, and didn’t feel an ounce of guilt about it. It was safe, here in Holden’s arms. “Sorry, I’m an odd duck when it comes to expressing my emotions. When I get really angry, I cry, which can come across as being overly emotional. The same thing happens when I’m afraid. But when Gio died, I couldn’t muster a tear for days, weeks even.”
“It was too deep. The hurt. I get it.” He kept holding her and she heard his heartbeat since one ear was pressed against his chest. His breathing slowed, deepened. He let out a long sigh. “When Spencer and I were serving, we saw a lot. I’m not s
ure how much he’s told you.”
“Enough. He’s told Jarvis more, I think, because both of them have always felt more protective of me than each other. They’re not being jerks or misogynists, just good brothers.”
She felt him nod, and his embrace tightened reassuringly. “If Jarvis is anything like Spencer, then yes, it’s because they care very much for you.”
“So during your work with the FBI, what have you seen that bothered you the most?”
He shifted next to her, as if seeking more contact. “Most cases aren’t as bad as you might imagine. But when they are, they’re rough. Anything involving kids is pretty much the worst. Sometimes I hit emotional overload. I know I’m there when I can’t compartmentalize or shove down the horror. I’ve cried like a baby more than once.”
“That’s crying like a man, Holden. Accepting life on life’s terms, even when it’s awful.”
“Yeah.”
They stood in silence for several minutes, and to Bella it was as if they’d always been here. Together.
She pulled back. “I’ve got to get dressed. I imagine there’s going to be another video session this morning.”
“Actually, no. I was going to let you sleep a little longer, but I talked to Spencer about an hour ago. It’s a go for the high school. Pageant practice resumes this morning.”
“I didn’t think Selina or the pageant board were going to give us Sunday off, not when all we’ll have for the next three weeks are evenings.” She was actually sorry that the pageant was only going to be for a few more weeks, with the final festivities at the end of the month. It meant she had only three weeks with Holden, before he went back to his life in Phoenix. Back to being an FBI agent, far away from Mustang Valley.
“You can ask for another agent to guard you if you want, Bella. You don’t have to be tied to me for all three weeks.”
“But you won’t let anyone else have the final say in my safety, will you?”
“No.”
“And we’ve gone past the point of acting as if we don’t share more than this pageant and wanting to catch the killer. Right?”
He nodded. “Right again.”
“Then I’m fine with you staying here. There’s nowhere else I can go without bringing the threat with me, be it a hotel or even Rattlesnake Ridge Ranch, if I were ever invited there.” She heard the self-pity in her voice and resolved to do whatever she had to do to erase it. Martyrdom had been Aunt Amelia’s gig, not hers.
“I know it’s scary. But you’re right—wherever you go we’d have to start over again as far as your security.”
“Then let’s leave it as it is.”
“I won’t distract either of us again, Bella.” His level gaze wasn’t entirely convincing as there was a flicker of heat in its depths.
“It’s a two-way responsibility, Holden. You didn’t make or even convince me to do anything I hadn’t wanted to since just about the time you opened my bag to check for contraband.”
His color deepened and major dimples formed on either side of his mouth but he didn’t widen it into a grin.
“We’re only going to hurt one another in the end.”
“I agree.” She shifted on her feet, knowing she needed to get dressed or at least get a large mug of coffee. But she couldn’t bring herself to walk away. As if it would truly mean the end of anything personal with Holden. “But, we can both agree that we’re friends of a sort, can’t we?” The plea in her tone made her cringe on her behalf but it didn’t stop how she felt.
She needed to know Holden was her friend.
A flash of white in the dim hallway reassured her. “There’s no way I couldn’t be friends with my buddy’s sister.”
So she was back to being Spencer’s sister. At least that meant they were still talking, and back on neutral territory. Away from the heated desire that threatened her heart as much as the killer threatened her life.
Except unlike her wish to see Holden apprehend the murderer, she didn’t seem to care if her heart was on fire.
* * *
Holden knew he was being a jerk. No question. He’d just brushed off the woman unlike any other he’d ever known. But it was for her safety, the security of the entire investigation.
And the tightness around his heart every time he remembered why he was here, to catch a killer, served as a reminder that he was getting too close to Bella.
While Bella got dressed he took a cup of coffee out to the patio and placed a call to Spencer to pass on some information MVPD needed for the ongoing investigation against AAG. It was already hot, even in the shade of her terra-cotta-tiled roof, but he needed to be outside, to see the desert wake up.
“You’re up early for a G-man.” Spencer’s teasing was a welcome relief after drawing the grim boundaries he needed with Bella.
“Don’t worry, man, I’m going back to bed after this.”
Spencer’s silence had him replaying what he’d just said. “Oh, geez, Spencer, I didn’t mean with your sister, for heaven’s sake.” Guilt slapped his conscience silly.
“It’s pretty apparent that there’s something going on between you two.”
“I promise, I won’t let anything happen to her.”
“I know that. I trust you, always have.” Spencer paused again and in Holden’s line of work, he had learned that pauses were where trouble lay. “Bella’s not had a lot of luck with guys, Holden, and I don’t want to see a broken heart when you go back to your job in Phoenix.”
“Copy that. I won’t hurt her, Spencer.” Holden couldn’t say any more without betraying what he and Bella had shared. No matter how it ended, how it had to be now, what they’d made together was special, private. Sacred.
Sacred? He’d gotten in deeper than he’d thought.
“I wasn’t referring to Bella, Holden. I meant your heart. Bella’s been a heartbreaker since middle school.” Spencer laughed. “In case you haven’t noticed, she can hold her own against almost anything. I don’t want her to have to do that, though, not with a killer.”
“We’re on the same page, then. Listen, I called to give you what our office found on the Affirmation Alliance Group and its leader, Micheline Anderson.”
“You know MVPD got the charge to stick against Harley Watts, right? He’s been charged with threatening the Colton Oil structure by sending a classified email over the dark web.”
“Yes, my handler mentioned that. Another thing that’s come up that I think you’ll be interested in is that there are indications that Micheline might be planning some kind of mass-destruction event, like a mass suicide.”
Spencer’s low whistle pierced their connection. “You mean like a Jim Jones poisoned-fruit-drink kind of thing?” Holden wasn’t surprised that Spencer recognized the reference. Law enforcement officers often studied the mass suicide orchestrated by the cult leader Jim Jones in Guyana, in 1978.
“Yes, exactly. And an eerie connection is that Jim Jones’s spouse was named Marceline. It seems awfully close to Micheline, especially as neither are common names.”
“You don’t think she took this name on purpose?”
Holden sighed. “No clue. I’ve learned not to put much stock in coincidence, though. Not in our line of work.”
“I hear you. Thanks for this, Holden, and please thank your office colleagues, and your supervisor. This saves me a lot of digging, and we’ll be sure to keep Micheline and AAG under tight surveillance.”
“Good to hear.” He saw Bella walk back into the kitchen through the sliding patio door. “I’ve got to go. Ms. Mustang Valley waits for no one.”
Spencer’s chuckle reached him before he disconnected. Eager to get his head back in the game, he took a moment to remind himself why he’d come to Mustang Valley. To apprehend a killer. To prevent further murders. But Bella’s safety had become priority number one. Long before Spencer had requested
it.
Holden shoved aside anything that remotely felt like an emotional response to Bella and focused on the case.
Both of their lives depended upon it.
Chapter 19
“You’re off by a half beat, Bella! Marcie, Delilah, stop letting her mess you up, ladies.” Selina’s voice cut through the soundtrack, a disco tune that required everyone to do three turns in a row, followed by a quick two-step. After their second week of evening rehearsals, it was the pageant’s third all-day Saturday practice.
Bella clamped her mouth shut to keep from responding with some very unpageantlike words. But that made her even more out of breath, and she felt her face heat with the effort.
“Don’t let her get to you. We’re almost done with all of this.” Marcie spoke through several more steps, her face flushed, too.
“She’s not. Trust me.” The number ended and Bella took the opportunity to walk off to the side of the stage to where Holden stood.
“How can anyone think I’m going to receive extra points from her?” She gulped from her water bottle and didn’t miss how his gaze drank her in. Her body reacted by sending heat everywhere she’d tried to shut down these past two weeks as he’d slept on her sofa each night. She’d had to deal with him being around all the time, including following her to the Mustang Valley Gabber headquarters a few times. It was fortunate from a security perspective that she was able to work from her laptop, and remain at home for much of her imposed “exile” from independent living. To be fair, she enjoyed Holden’s company and they’d gotten to know each other better.
It wasn’t a stretch to realize they’d indeed become friends, as she’d hoped.
But they’d avoided a repeat of their one night together. She was relieved and frustrated by their mutual agreement to avoid any further bedroom activities. They were adults, after all. Yet a big part of her wanted to bring that up, remind him that they could enjoy a physical relationship without worrying they’d expect too much from one another when it ended.