by Geri Krotow
“Did you hurt Becky and Selina, Ben?”
“It’s their fault. They went after the prettiest in the pageants. I had to protect my women from them. Becky and Selina were mean to Bella. I wanted them dead for what they said to Bella. But they lived. If I had more time... They tried to kill my mother.” Ben’s voice was whisper thin, his breathing very shallow.
Holden and Spence exchanged glances over Ben’s prone form. They’d caught the killer. He’d somehow looked at each victim as “his,” and while they were alive, conflated them with the memory of his mother.
“Let us in, officers.” Two EMTs swept in, and started to work on Ben. Holden stood, as did Spencer. They’d gotten what they needed from the murderer. Ben stopped breathing and CPR was administered, but after several minutes it became clear that Ben was no longer a threat to anyone.
Holden’s work was done. He needed only one thing now.
Bella.
* * *
“Babe, you did it.” He lifted her to her feet and hugged her tight. Then pushed her back, looked at her face, her body. “Are you okay?”
She nodded slightly. “I am, but my scalp’s going to be sore for the next few days.”
“That bastard will never bother you again.”
She went back into his arms, rested her head gingerly on his shoulder. “No other woman, either. We’ll be able to have the pageant finale in peace, at least.”
“Bella!” Spencer was next to them, and Bella turned to him. Watching the siblings hug, a sense of deep longing hit him. He wanted to be part of Bella’s family. He wanted to be her family.
But she needed room to finish her exposé, and he had his own work to do. He’d disabled the threat but there would be a long after-investigation and reports to fill out. Law enforcement learned from each case and relied on accurate documentation.
More EMTs showed up, and escorted Bella away to check her over. Spencer turned to him. “You okay, buddy?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I’ve never seen you cry at a scene, man.”
He wiped his eyes. “There’s a first for everything.” Including the realization that what you’ve been working for isn’t everything. Not even close.
Chapter 24
One week later Bella scanned the audience from her vantage point on a stage bleacher, during the opening number. MVPD had asked the pageant committee to delay the final night of the competition until the following weekend to allow for cleanup and investigation closure. She fingered the tiny owl charm on the silver bracelet that had arrived two days after the shootout. It had been gift wrapped with a note in bold print.
Hope you find peace again. Gio would be proud. Thanks for being such a great partner.
Holden
It was the last she’d heard from him. As each day passed she came to accept that it signaled the end of whatever they’d shared.
“Welcome to the thirtieth annual Ms. Mustang Valley Pageant and our final night of exciting competition!” Selina’s voice boomed over the sound system and the funky music she’d insisted upon and the crowd roared. As much as Bella had signed up for this for such different motivation than to win the crown of Ms. Mustang Valley, she couldn’t help but react to the adulation and enthusiasm from the audience. She waved from her bleacher spot onstage toward where she saw Spencer and Jarvis sitting, both hooting and hollering as they clapped. They still didn’t know what kind of exposé she was about to publish—no one did. She’d written it all last week. The pageant files from Becky had told her nothing about the pageant committee, except that they’d handed down nutrition and fitness plans to the contestants.
Becky had been afraid Bella would misconstrue the diet plans and make it look as though the committee had told Gio personally to starve herself. Bella wasn’t surprised by what she found and didn’t find. It had been a hard won conclusion, but the plain truth was that eating disorders and mental illness were complicated, rarely caused by one event or instance. Triggered, yes, but from what she’d read in the archival files, Ms. Mustang Valley hadn’t remained in the dark ages about beauty pageants and in fact had always called itself a scholarship contest. Bella had to admit she’d been too ready to find fault when she started this investigation, and had learned a valuable lesson to always keep an open mind, even when trying to justify a beloved friend’s untimely death. Bella knew she was lucky to be healthy and alive, and once she accepted what she’d really learned through this entire ordeal, the Ms. Mustang Valley pageant’s files had ended up fortifying the article she did write. There would never be enough attention given to eating disorders or mental illness. This report gave her a platform to shed more light on both, from a personal angle.
Holden remained MIA the entire time she worked on finishing her report. “He has so many loose ends to wrap up, you know,” Spencer had told her. But she knew there was more to Holden’s absence. Her worst fear was substantiated by him not showing up at all. She figured Holden realized that what had looked like a budding relationship wasn’t going to go any further.
Still, she searched the faces of the crowd, as many as she could see from her vantage point on the bleacher step and through the stage lights. Hoping against hard reality that Holden was here.
Leigh Dennings had her own cheering team in other Affirmation Alliance Group members who sat together in the first several rows. Micheline Anderson was in the center of the group and Bella wondered if Spencer or Holden had seen her. Holden didn’t appear to be present, but she knew Spencer would let him know Micheline had shown up.
The grief over losing the relationship she’d never had a chance to appreciate or enjoy without threat of immediate death threatened to make her sob onstage, in front of several hundred of her best friends.
Only for Gio did she hold it together. She may have lost Holden, but she still had her life to live. This wasn’t the time for self-pity.
* * *
Holden had the pageant streaming on his laptop as he took care of all the personal business he’d neglected over the past month. A month spent searching for, and finding and ultimately taking out a disturbed serial killer. Ben’s musings about his mother, before he’d died on the high school classroom floor, had proved true. She’d been a redhead with green eyes, and according to Ben’s elementary school records his mother had abused him repeatedly. He’d been in and out of foster care, always returning to her side and no doubt more abuse. He had no regrets about that, except for the surviving victims’ families who would never see justice carried out in a court of law.
Streaming from unclassified, insecure internet at the Bureau was strictly prohibited, so he’d saved his bills and personal correspondence until tonight.
The stream wasn’t as clear as he’d wished; while he knew which tiny figure was Bella onstage it was only because he’d witnessed all of the practices.
No, he had no regret over the case and how it had worked out. But he did wish he’d been able to express to Bella what she meant to him. It didn’t make sense to begin something he couldn’t follow up on until he closed the case.
Until he knew he was worthy to ask her to consider to be his partner.
The television sound was background as he double-checked utility bills, caught up on laundry. Vaguely he registered that the talent portion had begun. When he heard Selina’s voice, unmistakable even with a shaky internet connection, announce the next talent portion, he stilled.
“Ms. Bella Colton tells us what matters most to her in a very special personal essay.” Selina’s intro revealed none of the acrimony she’d shown to Bella during the rehearsal period. He had to give the ex-Colton credit; she earned her PR director pay grade in spades.
“Good evening, everyone.” Holden sat down in front of his laptop, unable to move as Bella spoke.
“It’s been a dark journey for our pageant, and for all of Mustang Valley, as well as Arizona, as we’ve endured th
e threat of a vicious criminal. But unlike the sad endings we’re seeing too much of these days, there is a happy ending for Ms. Mustang Valley. For all of us. And there is peace of mind for the surviving victims of this awful killer.”
Bella went on to talk about how she’d entered the pageant looking for information on her best friend’s struggles with bulimia and major depression, but instead found a community of strong, intelligent women who fostered empowerment she’d never felt before.
“I’ve picked a poem to read for my talent. Some of you might know it; it’s by a journalist from a long time ago but still holds true today. Its title is ‘To Jennie’ but for me, it’s ‘To Gio.’”
To Jennie
Good-bye! a kind good-bye,
I bid you now, my friend,
And though ‘tis sad to speak the word,
To destiny I bend
And though it be decreed by Fate
That we ne’er meet again,
Your image, graven on my heart,
Forever shall remain.
Aye, in my heart thoult have a place,
Among the friends held dear,-
Nor shall the hand of Time efface
The memories written there.
Goodbye,
S.L.C.
“S.L.C. was Samuel Langhorne Clemens, also known as Mark Twain. I want to add that I’ve learned one other thing these past weeks. True love comes in many forms, but when it does, it’s unmistakable and always worth fighting for. Thank you.
She looked straight into the camera as applause boomed over the audio and while Holden couldn’t make out her exact expression, dang the low-quality feed, he didn’t have to.”
He heard Bella. He’d figured out some things himself over the course of the pageant investigation. Bella wasn’t his ex, and she was a woman of integrity. Her reporting reflected that.
And he realized he’d never make it without her. But he had to get this case wrapped, and see if he could get moved to the Tucson Resident Office. If not, they’d work out the commute between Phoenix and Mustang Valley. Whatever it took.
“Trust me, babe. I couldn’t agree more.” He knew it was silly, speaking to Bella’s image on the television, but it made him feel that much closer to beginning the rest of his life with her.
The last remaining piece of the puzzle would be to see if she agreed to his plans.
* * *
Bella waited onstage with the other contestants while the finalists were named. She wasn’t surprised to not be amongst the final five, and waited with anticipation as it came down to Marcie and Leigh, who held hands center stage.
“And this year’s Ms. Mustang Valley is...” The winner of last year’s contest stood at the podium, hands shaking as she tore open the sparkling, large gold envelope, another Selina touch.
“Leigh Dennings!”
Marcie smiled graciously and hugged Leigh, who smiled wide and accepted her crown, placed on her head by the previous winner. Leigh walked to the microphone.
“This wouldn’t be possible without knowing I can live my best life today, and every day! If you want to know how I did it, you’re welcome to the next meeting of the Affirmation Alliance Group. Find us on your favorite social media platform.”
Bella looked out and tried to meet Spencer’s gaze, but he was already on his cell, no doubt reporting what he witnessed to Holden. Her breathing slowed, almost stopped as she faced her truth.
Spencer and Holden would always have their friendship and working relationship. Bella wasn’t in the picture at all any longer.
* * *
“Congratulations, sis.” Jarvis and Spencer stepped out from under the school’s front awning as she exited. Jarvis handed her a large bouquet of sunflowers. “These are from both of us.”
“Thanks, Jarvis.” She hugged him. “It was sweet of you to come tonight.”
“Hey, what about me?” Spencer gave her his classic bear hug and she hugged him back, too.
“We want to take you out. To congratulate you for making it through the pageant alive.” Jarvis kept a straight face until Spencer laughed and Bella punched Jarvis on the shoulder.
“Funny. I appreciate the offer, but I’m beat. Can we go out for something to eat next week?” The reality that Holden really hadn’t come to see the last night of the pageant finally hit her and she was bone weary. If she couldn’t be with the one person who’d made a major difference in her life these last weeks, she wanted to be alone and reading a novel.
“Are you sure? There’s sure to be a big party at the diner.” Jarvis grinned and she smiled back at her brother.
“You’ve been quiet through most of this, Jarvis. Except when you kept telling me I was crazy to sign up for the pageant. What’s going on with you? Have you dug up the old family secret you think is at Rattlesnake Ridge Ranch? Or are you going to admit it’s for naught and go back to being your businessman self?”
“It’s not for naught, but I can’t talk about it yet. Let’s just say I’m close. Besides, I like ranch life more than I realized I would.”
Bella turned to Spencer. “Do you believe this?”
Spencer shrugged. “I didn’t believe you’d signed up for Ms. Mustang Valley, but you did. Anything’s possible.”
“You didn’t think I’d make it out alive, did you?”
“I never doubted you would. You had the best man watching you.”
Tears threatened but she didn’t want to let her brothers see how deeply Spencer’s words affected her. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
“Thanks for your belief in me. I’ll catch you both next week.”
All she wanted to catch tonight was sleep. If it was an escape from facing her true feelings, and the grief over losing something that had never taken off, then so be it.
It was one thing to have the right man next to her, to guide her and protect her through a tough situation. To expect he’d be around afterward was pushing it.
But she refused to blame herself for feeling how she did. Holden had been a special chapter in her life. She’d come too far in life and in this past month to accept anything but the truth from herself.
* * *
Two weeks after the pageant, Bella made her way through Mustang Valley Hospital with a huge bear balloon and an arrangement of chocolate-dipped fruit. The pageant and its aftermath had brought her both joy and sorrow. The sorrow she wasn’t ready to face just yet, but figured she had a lifetime to mourn losing Holden to his career, and hers.
The text that she’d received as she pulled up to the hospital helped buoy her steps. She’d been offered an investigative-reporter position with the county paper, the Bronco Star. She’d been so excited she’d immediately changed her job status on all of her social media accounts. If Holden wanted to find her, to see what had happened with her career, thanks to the pageant, he could. The county publication, still in print but with a robust online presence, fed into several major national news outlets. After years of hard work and an especially brutal previous month, Bella had realized her dream.
If it wasn’t as great as she’d expected, because she’d lost a lot to get here, too, then so be it. She couldn’t allow herself to be sad over Holden leaving her life. If she started down that emotional path, she wasn’t sure she’d ever find her way back to the joy she’d thought she’d lost when Gio died.
Today she found joy in being reunited with her extended Colton family. As Marlowe had suggested, she’d met up with her and Ainsley for coffee a few days ago. Marlowe had been very uncomfortable, and Ainsley said they all thought the baby was going to make an appearance at any minute. When Spencer let her know that Marlowe was in labor and had been taken to the hospital from her work office, Bella had experienced a radiant sense of quiet happiness that she could only attribute to family.
Another reason to work on letting Holden and her feelings
for him go. Their connection had no “quiet”: part to it. It wasn’t all sexual passion, either, but an intense bond she couldn’t explain.
The hospital-room door was open and she walked into a world of flowers, pale blue ribbons, baskets chock-full of baby needs and a radiant Marlowe sitting up in the hospital bed, the newborn at her breast.
“Oh, I’m sorry!”
“Don’t be silly. We’re family. Have a seat.” Marlowe’s mother, Genevieve, smiled and moved over, offering Bella the easy chair closest to the new mother. Bella was struck by Genevieve, Payne’s third and current wife. The woman’s grace while enduring so much personal suffering thanks to her husband’s shooting and coma was awe inspiring.
“I wasn’t sure what to bring, so I opted for food.” Bella placed the balloon arrangement on the crowded bedside table and held out the platter of bright fruit.
“OMG, let me finish this side with him and I want one of those chocolate strawberries.”
“I thought you had to avoid caffeine when you nursed?” Genevieve spoke up, her gaze glued to the baby. Her grandson.
“One little bit won’t hurt.” Marlowe grinned at Bella.
“He’s so beautiful.” She looked around the room again but as she’d first determined, Bowie wasn’t here. “Where’s the happy father?”
Bella watched as Marlowe lifted her son from her breast and proceeded to burp him. The little peanut complied almost immediately and all three women laughed. A warmth of belonging and peace filled Bella. This was living life to the fullest, as Gio would have wanted her to do. Enjoying each and every moment.
Marlowe laughed. “I sent him to get a shower, and to bring back some real food. Would you like to hold him?” Marlow held out her bundled babe and Bella tried not to blanch. “Um, I’ve never really been around such a new baby.”