by Kaje Harper
Scott rubbed his cheek against Casey’s hair. At some point, Casey’s head had drooped onto Scott’s shoulder, and Will’s arm was around both of them. It was kind of nice. He closed his eyes.
“Go on.”
“My folks have money. Like, serious money. I never asked for any, never touched a dime, but I thought maybe this time. They’d love to see me stop being a cop.”
“But they didn’t?”
“No. Well, they liked the no cops and the no natural gas fracking part. They’re serious tree-huggers. But Dad had these conditions about how I could live my life. Then he started putting down Rob again, talking shit about him even after all these years, and I lost my temper.”
Neither Will nor Scott spoke for a while. Casey could hear their steady breathing and feel the solid warmth on either side. The blower for the central air came on with a subdued whoosh, and a car went by on the road outside.
“My brother died. My little brother, Toby. He was eight. He found Rob’s gun.”
“I’m so sorry.” Will leaned in closer.
His voice cracked. “Dad said Rob killed himself because of it.”
Scott murmured, “Rob died?”
“Overseas. In combat, three months after Toby. Not a suicide. Dad lied about that. And I lost it, told Dad to go fuck himself before I would ask him for a dime. I tossed away the chance to save half the ranch. I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t want their money,” Will said eventually. “Not if you have to beg for it.”
Casey choked a laugh. “Mom might’ve given it to me for the asking, but Dad would’ve made me jump through hoops, even without the fight.”
Will said, “Um. Your Mom. Would she happen to be a tiny blonde woman? Driving a red Prius with bumper stickers for Greenpeace and Amnesty International?”
Casey pulled away enough to stare at him. “Maybe. I mean, yeah, she’s little and blonde. I don’t know what she drives these days, but the stickers sound like her.”
“There’s a car like that parked outside on your street with a woman sitting in it. I noticed when I got here.”
“What?”
“She was just sitting there. Reading maybe— something with a little light shining on her face.”
Casey frowned, then got up and pulled the curtain back enough to look out. There was a red car parked at the curb, and yeah, sitting in it, peering down at her lap, was his mother. He tugged the curtain closed again. “Huh.”
“That’s all you’re going to say?” Scott asked.
He stared at Scott. His brain felt like it was off-line. “Um.”
“You should ask her in. See what she wants.”
“Maybe she wants to spy on me.”
“Not unless she’s real crappy at it.” Will came up beside him, peering out for a moment in his turn. “She’s just sitting there. Do you want us to go away?”
“No.” Casey took a breath. Maybe this was the night for getting everything clear. “Although you can if you want to. I don’t think she would out anyone on purpose, but if she gets mad enough at me, who knows?”
“She’ll be okay with the gay part?” Scott asked. “And she understands about being closeted? You’re sure?”
“That part she’ll be fine with, yeah, if she finds out. She’s left of liberal.”
There was a long silence as Scott and Will looked at each other. “Then I want to at least meet her,” Scott said, and Will nodded.
“Okay.” He didn’t bother with a coat. He wouldn’t be out there long.
His mom was concentrating on her e-reader, and he had to knock on the window before she looked up. She hesitated, her face flushed, then rolled the window down. “Oh, Casey, hi.”
“What’re you doing here, Mom?”
“Here? Actually, I came to see you. But I lost my nerve along the way. I thought I’d read for a bit and give you time to cool off.”
“Me?”
“You were pretty mad.”
“So you’ve been sitting out here how long?”
“Two books worth? They were short books.”
It hurt in an odd way, to think she’d been nervous to come in. “I wasn’t mad at you, exactly.”
“Oh, I know. But I was so happy when you came over, thinking finally we’d get past all that old pain, and then it all came spilling out again.”
He opened her car door. “It’s cold out here, Mom. Why don’t you come inside?”
She let him usher her indoors and glanced around. “It’s a nice place. Very clean.”
“Thanks. Here, give me your coat and come meet… my friends.”
She followed him to the living room.
“Mom, these are Will and Scott. Guys, my mom.”
Scott stood and held out his hand. “Mrs. Barlow.” Will did the same.
His mom shook hands and said, “Call me Margaret. Please. You’re both… friends of Casey’s?”
Scott said, “Yeah.”
Will nodded.
Casey said, “Here, the recliner’s pretty comfortable. Have a seat and say what you wanted to.”
She perched on the edge of the chair, still looking around. “Well, it’s kind of, um, related to what you and your dad were arguing about. Personal, maybe.”
“I don’t have secrets from these guys.”
“None?”
“Not anymore.”
“Oh.” She glanced at them. Will, leaning on the wall by the window. Scott, seated again on the couch. “Is one of them a close a friend, like Rob was?”
Well, hell. He said carefully. “Both of them. Closer than Rob.”
“Oh. Wow.” Her expression held more than just interest, and she looked both men over hard.
Casey considered her unmistakable intensity. “Why mention Rob?”
“You see, I know he was your, um, very special friend.”
He shook his head, feeling dizzy. Had she known all these years? And said nothing? He was suddenly tired of dancing around the words. He looked at his men, eyebrows raised. Scott nodded to him, and Will gave him a little thumbs up. Bless them. “These are my partners. My lovers. Both of them.”
“Oh! Oh, I’m glad.” She smiled at them. “I’m happy to meet you.”
“Will owns the ranch.”
“Ah.”
There was another silence, as he digested the fact that his sexual orientation was clearly not a surprise to his mother. That she now knew about his men. That the world had just changed. He realized he should add, “They’re not out. As gay. None of us are.”
“I understand. Although that must make things difficult.”
“Sometimes.”
Both Scott and Will leaned towards his mother, as if waiting for a comment, a reaction, something, but she just smiled warmly at them. Scott eventually asked, “Mrs. Barlow. Margaret. Is there a reason you were sitting outside Casey’s house? Something you wanted?”
“Hm? Oh, yes. I got distracted for a minute. Well. Do you two know about Rob?”
“A little.”
“Yes. So. Casey.” She turned to him. “I realized, with what was said, what your father said… that had to be hard to hear.”
Casey shrugged. “He always hated Rob.”
“I meant about his suicide.”
“He didn’t.” Casey realized his mother was looking at him with the compassionate expression she’d used to tell him his kitten had died. The same one she’d used when he’d failed to make the baseball team. “Mom? Rob didn’t kill himself.”
“He did it overseas. His mom said some little Afghan boy died. It was after that. She thought we should know. His folks just told everyone else he was killed in Afghanistan. It was no one’s business exactly how.”
Casey whispered, “Not even mine?”
“You were just sixteen. You worshiped him.”
“I loved him.”
“I know.” She sighed. “It was such a hard time. Your father thought we should tell you. Rub your nose in it. Make you hate the Marines. I said no. You were so
young and we’d just lost Toby, and I know how hard that was for you. There was no reason you had to know.”
Maybe because it was something important about the man I loved? His throat ached too much to produce a sound.
His mom said, “I couldn’t imagine a child of mine would actually want to join the military. So we didn’t say anything, and you seemed to be okay for two whole years. But then, you’d signed the papers and it was too late. I was so angry at you, and at myself for being wrong. For raising you wrong, not protecting you. Between your temper and your father’s and mine, I lost you too.”
He remembered that fight, his burning need to become something Rob would’ve been proud of, and the loathing in his parents’ voices. They’d clawed each other deep with words that couldn’t be taken back, before he slammed out of the house and stayed gone for five years.
She raised her gaze to meet his. “I was furious for a long time, and when you came home after your last tour, and told us you planned to be a cop, it felt like another smack in the face for all I’d tried to teach you. I despised the fact that you cared more about Rob than Toby, believed Rob’s truths over mine. It wasn’t until recently, until Theresa got married and our grandson was born, that I could put my own feelings away enough to understand yours.”
Casey swallowed hard. “Did Dad know? About me and Rob?”
“I don’t think so. Even I wasn’t absolutely sure until I saw you touch the coffin at his funeral. But Dad and I’ve never talked about it. He’s never said anything about you being gay, and I didn’t want to open the subject. You know he wouldn’t mind, though.”
“Now that my lover isn’t a soldier.”
She sighed. “Well, yes. You know your father. And he’s going to hold a new grudge for a while now.”
“Yeah.” But he bent and kissed her cheek, and she let him. “Thanks for coming. For telling me the truth.”
“I don’t want to see you once every five years for a fight. Life’s too short.”
“I’ll keep in better touch.”
“I’d like that. But that wasn’t the only reason I came.”
“Oh?”
She fumbled in her purse and held something out to him. It was a bank transfer receipt. For two million dollars.
He recognized the receiving account as his own. “What the hell?”
She smiled. “When you have enough money, banks are accommodating. Especially when you’re moving money, not withdrawing it. Your account’s still the same. I went straight out after you left us and did it.”
“Dad won’t like it.”
“Your father isn’t the boss of me.”
He stared down at the paper, then held it out to Will, who passed it to Scott.
“I’m not sure what to say. I’m grateful, of course.”
“No strings.” She smiled tightly. “We’re going to do the foundation. We planned to settle two million on each of you and set up a bigger trust fund for our grandson, before we tied up any of the capital. You’re just getting yours early. It sounds like you have a good cause to spend it on.”
“I do, but Mom, are you sure?”
“Are you trying to give it back?”
He looked at Will’s stunned expression, the slow smile growing on Scott’s face. “No, I’m not. Thanks, Mom!”
She stood. “I should get going. It’s a long drive home.”
“You could stay the night. Talk some more.”
“I have things to do. But I’m glad you came outside to talk to me. I’m glad we finally got it right, and I hope to meet Scott and Will again.”
Will said, “Oh yes. Definitely.”
Scott put the transfer slip back in Casey’s hand and said, “I’ll walk you to your car, Margaret.”
They went down the hall. Casey heard his mother laugh at something Scott said. Then the front door closed behind them.
He felt like he’d survived a hurricane. Or a giant bungee jump into an abyss. He’d come out to his mother. And she’d supported him. And Rob really had killed himself, all those years ago. Which meant Casey had killed him, in a way. Allowed it to happen. He’d have to look that in the face and deal with it, someday.
But over that deep pain was the relief of Will’s smile and that piece of paper that would buy them a home. How could he feel gutshot over Rob, and yet want to kiss Will until he couldn’t breathe? How did pain and joy live in such a small space?
He was still standing there, trying to lock away the past and catch his breath in the present, when Scott came back in. “That was a better evening than I expected, flying hundreds of miles on a moment’s notice. I like your mother.”
“I. Yeah. Right.”
Will laughed and moved close on his other side. “You look like you were smacked with a two-by-four.”
“I feel like it.” He put an arm around each of them. “Can you spend the night? Both of you? Just to sleep? I’m not sure I’m up for sex.”
Scott kissed him with a hint of tongue. “You mean I’m wearing this butt plug for nothing?”
Casey choked. “You’re what?”
“Oh yeah. Put it in at the airport. On this end of the flight, because you know, they say the scanner in security can see a tissue in your pocket? I didn’t want to explain six ounces of silicone stuffed up my ass.”
Will said, “I’m definitely spending the night.”
Casey said, “You came to cheer me up with a butt plug?”
Scott blushed. “It was the contingency plan. You know, a sympathetic ear, a smack to the back of the head, or sex. I wanted to have it all covered.”
Casey slid a hand into Scott’s jeans. They were the usual tight fit, but Scott arched his back, and Casey was able to slip a finger down far enough to feel the base of the plug. He tapped it, nudged it a bit, and Scott gasped against his hair. “Ah, yeah, do that.”
“Bedroom?” Will suggested. “Where should I put this?” He held out the transfer slip Casey had let fall.
“Doesn’t matter.” Casey nipped Scott’s ear. “The money’s already there. That’s just paper.”
Will set the slip on the table and moved in behind Scott. “So, which one of us gets this ass tonight?”
“Maybe both of you?” Scott wiggled his hips. “After wearing this damned thing for two hours, I think I’m good for two rounds.”
Will groaned and kissed the back of his neck. “Bed. You too, Casey. Move your hot butts. Now.”
It was rare that Will was the one to take charge, but tonight it totally worked for Casey. “Yes, Will. Whatever you say, Will.”
They moved down the hallway, pausing twice to make out and grope, Scott’s moans were loud and eager, Will’s hands callused and strong. Until there was only one thing on Casey’s mind, and it wasn’t a long-dead lover, or even two million dollars.
Chapter 6
The early December sunlight slanted low through the law office window a month later. It was bright enough to read by. Will took a moment to admire his signature, above Casey’s and Scott’s on the agreement to purchase. They’d have to wait months for the final deed, but those documents right there moved the cash to Landon in exchange for the land, and then divided up rights to the property to come. He said to Scott, “Seriously, what counts is that you’re all-in. The exact dollars don’t matter.”
“Maybe not to you, but I wish I’d had more for my share. I guess I should be glad I found a buyer for the condo fast enough to have anything at all.”
“I’m glad, too.” That weird, momentary pang of sharing the ranch with anyone had passed, and he felt a deep satisfaction that they all were partners now. The hassles of the last month, of lawyer meetings and contracts and inventory, of helping Scott with a fast move of his stuff, of Casey trying to fit ranch time in around transitioning the sheriff’s office— it’d all been more than worth it.
Casey sighed. “At least I’ve bought myself a new job before I lose the old one.”
“You’re such a ray of sunshine,” Scott teased.
<
br /> “No, you’re right. It’s good.”
The door opened and Dainbridge came in. “Mr. Slater has headed out with your check, so you should be all set to finalize possession when probate goes through. Although, if you do want to sell, I hear there might already be a buyer waiting.”
“We’re not selling. What buyer?”
“I’m not sure. But there’s a realtor waiting out there to talk to you.”
Casey frowned. Will shook his head. It didn’t matter. “We need to get back home. The vet’s coming to look at Diablo’s hoof.” Their top bull had come up lame, but it would take sedation for anyone to see what was wrong. He wasn’t given that name for nothing.
“I’ll be in touch.” The lawyer led the way out. “Are you going to build another residence on the property? I might know someone in the construction business.”
“Not right now,” Casey said. “Scott and I figure we can share the big house for the moment.” Will held back a happy grin. All of them, in one place. He was so looking forward to this.
“Sure. If one of you gets married and needs family space, you can always build then.” As they got to the outer door, Dainbridge turned to shake hands. “Congratulations, gentlemen. Let me know if I can be of any further assistance outside of the probate.”
They left the building together. Will clapped his hat on his head and tugged it down securely against the wind, and Casey did the same. Scott pulled on a knit toque. Will yanked it off him. “You’re a rancher now. We’ll get you a proper Stetson. No more sissy woolly hats.”
“Give me that!” Scott yanked it from his fingers and jammed it back down over his ears. “This is what hockey players wear, you ignorant cowboy. My wool hat can beat up your Stetson any day. You wouldn’t know fashion if it bit you. You still have a hundred thousand dollars to spend, Casey. Maybe you can take Will’s clothes sense up a notch.”
“That money’s Will’s too. He can decide what to do with it,” Casey said.
Will muttered, “Then it’s the ranch’s money and it’s not going for clothes.” Having a cash cushion going into winter would be awesome.
Casey looked past them. “Can it, guys.” He raised his voice. “Can I help you?”