Let’s Start Over

by Laurent, River

  My jaw tightened as I walked by her. I felt her eyes as they stared at my back. It wasn’t like I could blame her. I was the one who screwed her over all those years ago. Now it was just payback time.

  By the time I glanced up, she was back to work. Every time she came up to the bar, she gathered her drinks and disappeared with her lips pressed together. I wanted to make it better. No, I had to make it better. Ivy had walked through my door and I felt shit I hadn’t felt in ages. I wanted her and I don’t give up on what I want.

  “See you, guys!” Mel called as she raced for the door after we’d closed up and counted all the cash.

  “Bye Mel,” I called as I grabbed my keys.

  Ivy waved, then she became as quiet as she’d been with me all night. We walked out together and her eyes traced up and down the street before her shoulders dropped and she looked a little less tense. Was that a little piece of precaution she learned from the big city?

  The key clicked in the lock and she jumped.

  “Hey, do you want me to walk you home?” I asked. “It’s almost one and I’d feel better if I knew you made it home safely.”

  “No, thank you. I’ll be able to get home fine.”

  “Really, I don’t want you walking out here at night. There aren’t nearly enough lights in this part of town.”

  “Cooper, no offense, but I’d rather make it on my own. Thanks for the offer, but I’m just not ready to be your friend yet. Goodnight.”

  I watched as she walked off and frowned. There was nothing I could do if she didn’t want me to look out for her, but it still worried me. I had to figure out a way to fix things and quickly.

  I let Ivy go once. There was no way in hell I would do it again. I sat in the car and watched her go down the road, when she was about to turn the corner I started the truck and drove to the corner. I waited until she was about to get out of my sight and followed her again. In this way, I kept her in my sight until she walked through the entrance of her apartment building.

  I was so subtle, she never knew I was there with her the whole time.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Ivy

  It kept happening. I crawled into bed and jumped out of it after a horrific nightmare with tears running down my cheeks. After that, I slept badly and woke up tired. I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom and poked at the bags that had developed under my eyes.

  Sighing, I opened the medicine cabinet and took out a compact of concealer. I went to work on the dark circles that made me look exhausted and tried to hide them as best I could. The last thing I needed was anyone commenting on my appearance. I didn’t want anyone to know my nightmares had gotten so bad.

  It had been a week since I’d started working at Red Royal. The tips got better the more the regulars got to know me and I was making enough to sustain myself. The only problem was that I couldn’t get Brian and that murderous expression on his face out of my head. I kept expecting him to show up and finish the job he started.

  All I could see in my head was how much of a high it had given him to watch the life start to go out of my eyes.

  Even though I was dead exhausted when I got home, I still struggled to sleep. I would lay there for hours, staring at the ceiling, afraid of every little noise. Even though I told myself a thousand times there was no way he could track me down, my body was sure he was coming back to get me, and I hated that feeling.

  My alarm went off on my phone and I scrambled out of the bathroom. Snagging my jacket and I headed for the bar. As I walked, I thought about Cooper.

  The last private conversation we’d had played over and over in my head. Had he really changed? Cooper insisted that he had, but I wasn’t completely sure. I did see some changes, like how responsibly he managed the bar and how dedicated he was to his work. Also, he didn’t flirt with any of the woman who’d tried to get his attention the way he used to do when we were still in school. And some of the women offering themselves to him were really good looking too.

  “Hey Jo, we’re a little slow right now,” Cooper said as I came out dressed in my apron with my hair pulled up and out of the way. “But that’s not going to last long.”

  “Fridays,” I mumbled as I tucked my book into a pocket. “I’m looking forward to it really.” At least working would take my mind off of things. The less I thought about Brian, the nightmares, or the way Cooper glanced at me when he thought I wasn’t looking, the better. I needed to focus.

  “Are you feeling all right? If you’re sick, you don’t have to stick around,” Cooper frowned. “You look exhausted.”

  Leave it to him to notice how tired I am even after I tried to cover it up. Cooper seemed to be one of the few people in my life who could read me like a book. He’d always been that way.

  “I’m fine,” I said as I tightened my apron strings and nodded. “I just didn’t sleep too well last night, but it’ll be okay.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” I sighed. “You don’t have to worry. I won’t drop a tray of chicken wings in anyone’s lap.”

  “I’m not worried about that, Jo,” he said gently. “I’m just making sure you’ll be all right. You know how crazy it can get.”

  “I know. I really don’t think it will be that big of a deal. I can handle it.”

  “Ok. Suit yourself.”

  Even though he said it, I got the feeling that he would keep a close eye on me all night. He really did act as if he’d changed. The old Cooper was only worried about himself, but the new one seemed to care about everyone. His customers, his employees… me.

  If he was anyone else and if I hadn’t been so hurt by him already, I would have adored him. My eyes kept getting drawn to him as he worked and laughed behind the bar. The way his eyes lit up made my stomach flutter. Everyone around him was enthralled and I’d never realized how much they clung to his every word.

  Especially, women.

  God, the way they drooled over Cooper! As if he was a delicious meal and they’d been starving hyenas. It was almost entertaining the way they tripped all over each other just to grab his attention for a fraction of a second. Because that was all he gave them. A smile, a drink, a polite word, then he was back to work and chatting with all of them, not singling any one person out.

  My gaze couldn’t be torn away from him. When I was busy, I threw myself into work, but as soon as it quieted down a bit, and people went back to singing to the karaoke machine and sipping their drinks, my eyes went back to him.

  Why couldn’t I look away?

  Cooper’s arms looked irresistible contained inside the blood red tee he wore. He pushed his hair back with careless fingers every time it fell into his face and I watched every woman’s eyes follow that small movement. They were as enamored as I was, but there was one difference.

  He looked back at me.

  Every so often, our eyes met and he seemed to see right into my soul. Or his lips would lift in that sensuous way and my body heated up all over again.

  I was worried about letting him in again, even as a friend. I’d be damned if I allowed myself to repeat the same mistake all over again.

  “Jo, can I get a drink or what?”

  I rolled my eyes before I turned to the man at the table.

  He’d sat with his friends and as far as I could tell, he was a regular. He was okay to start with, but once he had a few drinks in him, he’d become a pain in the ass. “I’m Ivy,” I said as I pulled the pen out I kept tucked behind my ear. “What can I get for you?”

  “Cooper calls you Jo all the time.”

  I blinked at him. “What?”

  “Cooper. He always calls you Jo. I’ve heard him yell it through the bar like a hundred times tonight.”

  I tried my best not to narrow my eyes at him. “And he’s the only one that calls me that. What can I get for you to drink?”

  “The usual, baby,” he drawled.

  I turned to walk away and his hand grabbed my ass. My body froze. This was exactly how Brian
used to grab me. My mind went blank. I couldn’t move. No matter how much I told my feet to go I felt trapped, suffocated.

  Cooper’s eyes suddenly locked onto mine and he was over to the table in a few long, purposeful strides. “Get the fuck outta here, Randall,” Cooper snapped as he slammed his hand on the table.

  “What the hell for?” he demanded, looking perplexed.

  Cooper’s face was dark with fury. “What did you say to her?”

  “I ain’t said shit to her.”

  “Jo?” Cooper asked as he touched my arm. “What did he say?”

  “He grabbed my ass,” I whispered. Suddenly, I felt stupid. It was a stupid thing that I should have been able to handle on my own. Instead, I had exaggerated it out of all proportion and now everyone stared at us.

  “Get the fuck out. I’m not going to tell you again. If you and your friends don’t get up and leave, you’re going to have a fist in your face, and then I’ll call the cops. Out! Now!”

  Randall clicked his tongue. “Fucking, trouble-making, city bitch,” he muttered.

  Cooper cocked his fist, but I grabbed his arm. I didn’t want him to get in trouble over me. I should have been stronger. Something that stupid shouldn’t have messed with my head at all. If not for the memory of Brian, I would have handled it in a completely different way.

  Randall took off with his friends while Cooper wrapped an arm around my shoulders. He tugged me against his body and we stayed that way until they were completely gone. Cooper led me into the back and turned me to face him. “You’re shaking. Sit down,” he said, pointing to a chair.

  I sank into it and didn’t fight him on it.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Ivy

  Cooper walked away and came back with a cold glass of water in his hand. He handed it over to me.

  I sucked it down until there was nothing left. I shuddered. As if not getting enough sleep wasn’t bad already.

  “Better?” Cooper asked as he took the empty glass.

  “Yeah. Thanks.” I bit my lip. “I’m sorry I caused a scene and you lost a customer because of me.”

  “Hey, it’s not your fault. I should be saying sorry about that asshole. I’ve never had any issues out of him.”

  “Until I came along,” I finished bitterly. “It seems like I attract bastards wherever I go. That’s my superpower.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “You have no idea, but that’s the truth. I’ve accepted it.” I shrugged as I wiped my palms off on my apron to get rid of the water. “Anyway, I should get back to work. I’m sure it’s getting packed out there.”

  “If you need to take a minute, then take it.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “You keep saying that, but it’s bullshit. Now, sit down, take a minute, and collect yourself. Stop pretending everything is okay and let yourself calm down before you go back out there.”

  I blinked at him. Did he just snap at me? But it apparently worked because it jerked me out of trance like state. I nodded and Cooper’s shoulders relaxed. He smiled and I saw the relief in his expression.

  “Stay here until you’re ready to come back out and get back to work. I’ll cover you for now.”

  “Thanks.” I smiled softly. “It actually means a lot that you’re doing this.”

  Cooper waved a hand. “No problem.”

  I watched as he disappeared back out into the bar. The noise from it flooded the back for a minute before the door closed and I was cut off from the world once more. I felt positive that he saw me as more than his employee, but the fact that he respected my boundaries. It made me want to forgive him a little bit more.

  My body relaxed bit by bit while I sat on the chair. Thoughts of Brian were forced out. I hated how my body responded by freezing up when I got scared. It shook me to my core. What if someone really wanted to hurt me and I froze up like that?

  Once I was closer to normal again, I adjusted my hair and clothes, then took a deep breath before my palm pushed against the cool wood. I went back out into the bar with my head held high. A few eyes followed me, and I was surprised when people began to comment about how glad they were that Cooper kicked him out.

  After that, I threw myself into my shift. Cooper watched me the whole time, but I almost didn’t mind. I knew he was looking out for me and wanted to make sure I had no more problems. Thankfully, the people at Red Royal were sweet and they treated me well.

  In an hour, the place picked up once more. The exhaustion from constant lack of sleep took hold and I started to forget orders and mix up tables. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep anything straight.

  I growled as I stared at the pad. “What the fuck did I even write?” My frustration grew with each new order, but I knew I had to keep it together.

  “Ivy, can you collect the glasses from table twelve? I think everywhere else is full and people are waiting.” Mel nodded toward the people standing at the entrance.

  “Yeah, I’ve got it.” I hoofed it over to table twelve and wiped it down before I loaded up my tray. Once I balanced the empty glasses, I turned toward the bar and tripped over my own feet. The glasses crashed to the floor and I groaned.

  Again? Fucking seriously!

  I called myself every name in the book in my head as I moved to my knees and quickly collected the shards. They stacked onto the tray one after the other. I reached for another and yelped. I yanked my hand back against my chest and stared at it. “Shit,” I breathed. “That’s just great.”

  “Jo?” Cooper yanked my hand out and frowned. “Shit, that’s pretty bad. Come here.” He pulled me to my feet.

  I didn’t fight him. My palm throbbed from where the glass had cut through my skin. Blood dripped and trailed us as we shuffled into the back and he stuffed me into his office. I glanced at the clock. It was almost closing time. Another hour and we’d be shutting down, but I couldn’t even make it that far. I felt like such a fool. Any other boss would have fired me by now. I was nothing but trouble.

  “Damn woman,” he growled as he wiped down my palm with antiseptic wipes. “I’m gonna have to start charging you for all the broken glass.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. I don’t know what came over me, but my bottom lip trembled. Then the tears started. They rolled down my cheeks as I sniffled and sucked in shaky breaths until my body hurt.

  “Hey, I didn’t mean it. I’m really just worried about you.”

  “I’m okay,” I sobbed. “I’m fine. I’m just—I’m so tired.”

  “I know,” he soothed. “I know you are. I can see that.”

  Cooper’s fingers brushed over my cheek. I leaned into his palm, calloused with hard, honest work. A far cry from Brian’s soft white hands. He wiped my tears away and then his hand was gone as he dug into the first aid kit. A pressure wrap was applied before he wrapped it with vet tape and made sure it was secure. “How’s that? I know it’s a bit tight, but once the bleeding slows, you can take it off and we can replace it with something else.”

  “It’s okay,” I said as I wiped my eyes. “Thank you.”

  “You know you can tell me if something’s going on, Jo. You don’t have to carry everything all by yourself. It’ll eat you alive.”

  “I don’t want to keep you. There’s a full bar of people waiting out there for you,” I croaked.

  “Fuck them,” he growled.

  I sank against him and buried my face in his chest, then. It was such a relief to hear the strong steady beat of his heart against my cheek again. Cooper’s arm wrapped around my back and he rubbed it gently while I cried. I wasn’t quite ready to tell him about my life, about Brian. I did love the way he held me however, the way he comforted me as I wept until I’d cried myself completely out.

  “Feel better?” he asked as he snatched up a couple of tissues and gave them to me.

  I sniffed. “Yeah. I guess I do. I haven’t cried in a long time like that.”

  “Maybe that’s what you needed then?” Cooper brus
hed fallen locks off my cheeks and tucked them behind my ears.

  The warmth of his fingers against my skin soothed me. I sighed softly before he leaned forward.

  “Whatever has you so worried, you can stop right now. I’m here for you, okay? I’ll protect you,” he said quietly. “I’d do anything for you.”

  My heart melted at his words. And then his lips captured mine. I didn’t freeze. I didn’t hesitate like I did with other men. It was like coming home. I moaned against his mouth and pressed forward more as my body sought his out. I ran my fingers over his cheeks and he cradled the back of my head in his strong hand. His mouth plundered mine as if he had been waiting for this moment for years and he just could not get enough.

  Our bodies pressed against each other and my lips grew numb from kissing him so hard. We came up for air and sanity returned to me once more. I blinked, the haze leaving my mind as I quickly jumped to my feet and stepped away from him.

  What the hell was I thinking? Kissing him, letting him off the hook for what he’d done to me all those years ago? I couldn’t fall for it all over again. “I have to go.”

  “Wait, Jo.”

  “I’ll see you for my next shift,” I called over my shoulder as I dashed from the office.

  I couldn’t believe I’d kissed him like that. What the fuck was I thinking? I ran out of the bar. I needed to get home and figure out what the hell was happening to me.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Cooper

  The bar felt empty and lifeless without her. Maybe it was just because I missed her face. She was always smiling when she was dealing with customers, or I would pick out her laugh from all the other laughs in the room. Hers was that special.

  “Quit staring at the tables. She ain’t gonna magically pop up and smile at you,” Mel said as she leaned against the bar and smoked a cigarette.

  “Didn’t I tell you not to smoke in here?”