“No,” I said quickly not wanting him to feel strange about things. “It’s just a lot to process right now.”
Cooper nodded as he opened a drawer. “Alright. Look, let me drop you off at home, then I’ll get back here and close up on my own.”
I shook my head and sat down beside him. “I’m not leaving you alone. I’ll help you close up.”
“You sure?” he asked, tilting his head adorably at me.
I picked up the book where he recorded all the totals. “I’m sure.” I smiled softly. “We’ll leave together.”
A corner of his mouth lifted into a grin before he nodded.
When he started counting the money, I stared at his profile.
He still loved me.
Chapter Twenty-One
Ivy
As soon as he knocked, I knew it was Cooper. We both had the day off and I was ready to go out with him. I had no idea what he had planned, but he promised it would be a nice, relaxing day between friends.
Yeah, the friend who was in love with me.
Thinking about that night in his office made my heart hammer. Neither of us had brought it up again and Cooper had been true to his word when he said he would respect my request for us to be friends. He hadn’t made a move, he hadn’t said anything remotely romantic, but it was odd. I still felt as if he was waiting, wanting, and part of me was on edge too. Because I’d also been waiting and wanting.
The door opened.
I stopped and stared in amazement.
I’d seen Cooper every day for the past few weeks, but I’ve never gotten over how breathtaking he really was.
His blond hair had grown out a bit, but it looked good with those sparkling blue-green eyes. He was dressed casually once again in dark jeans and a t-shirt that showed off his muscles.
I instantly wanted to run my fingers over his body but stopped myself.
“I brought donuts and coffee,” he announced as he dazzled me with his smile. “Raspberry filled for you.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“Yes, I remembered.”
“My guilty pleasure.” I smiled as I took the bag. “Let’s go in. I’m about to get dressed.” I was still wrapped up in my robe and wore a twisted a towel on my head.
Once we made it to the kitchen, I pulled the towel off and my still damp locks, slightly curly now, fell down my back. I opened the bag and reached inside for a donut when I realized Cooper was staring at me. I raised a brow at him. “What?”
“Nothing,” he said, and quickly handed me a cup. “Coffee too.”
“Mmm, thank you. I can never have enough caffeine. Where are we going today?”
“Oh, uh fishing,” he said as he regained himself. “I figured you hadn’t been in a long time so we can go up to the cabin, fish, and then have dinner. I thought it would be nice to get away for a little while.” His lip quirked up into a grin as he added, “If you’re up for it after all of that New York City lifestyle bullshit.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re really trying to get under my skin with that one, huh?”
“Would it be me if I didn’t mercilessly tease you?”
I shook my head at him. Cooper reminded me so much of how he used to be when we were younger. I’d loved hanging out with him because he could make me laugh no matter what the situation involved. There weren’t many people who were capable of that. “I guess I better get dressed then,” I sighed as I licked icing off my fingertips.
“Or you could go naked. I’m sure the fish wouldn’t mind.”
“Coop,” I warned.
“I’m kidding! I’m kidding. Seriously though, go take your ass back there and get dressed so we can go. Hurry up, woman.”
I stuck out my tongue. How did he manage to make me feel so desirable and comfortable again? I could never be carefree with Brian.
I tossed my robe onto a chair, then tugged out a pair of shorts and a crimson tank top. Pulling my hair into a ponytail, I donned a baseball cap that would hopefully protect me from the sun. If I was still in New York, I would never have left the house without a full face of makeup, but I rolled on some chapstick and called it a day. It was freeing.
“Ready,” I called as I walked into the kitchen. “Do I need to bring anything?”
Cooper shook his head. “I told you I would take care of everything. Let’s hit the road.”
I followed him to his truck and settled into the passenger seat. Lately, it was starting to feel like it was my seat. It was probably a testament to how often I hung out with Cooper. I tried to rationalize and say it was better than sitting at home moping, but I genuinely loved being around him. He was upbeat, warm and ok… sexy as hell. Just seeing his face light up when he smiled was enough to make me melt.
The journey to the lake was quiet, but not uncomfortable. I remembered sitting around Brian when he was quiet and I was always tense wondering if I had somehow made him mad. Cooper’s silence was comforting and laid back just like the music playing on the radio. It brought up a deluge of warm memories from my childhood, just the kind I loved to think about.
“Here we go,” Cooper announced as I shook off my daydreams. “I haven’t been here in a while myself.”
“Wow, I forgot how small it is.” I smiled. “We used to drink beers up here.”
“Yep. I brought a few along with me just for old times’ sake.”
I grinned. “Okay, you really do know me.”
“I keep telling you I do.” He smiled as he reached over and pinched my cheek. “You just don’t listen, honey bear.”
That old nickname. It made me feel almost breathless with nostalgia. I quickly pretended to fight him off and rubbed my cheek.
He chuckled.
We pulled to a stop and he unloaded the supplies. I went into the cabin and looked around. Someone had definitely been here to clean it up. There was no dust, the dishes were all put away neatly, the fridge was empty, but in pristine condition, and the sheets all held that freshly laundered scent. “Are we staying the night?”
“I figured if we had a few too many beers, we could crash here. You can have the bed, and I’ll take the couch. Oh, and I have spare clothes in the dresser if you end up needing them.”
“You’re so well prepared. When we were younger, you always used to just shrug your shoulders and tell me to sleep like nature intended.”
He grinned. “Yeah, but if you slept naked, I wouldn’t get much sleep. I don’t really fancy ending up with blue balls.”
“Blue balls. You wouldn’t know what blue balls were if they slapped you with a cold fish,” I huffed. “Be honest. You have never been rejected in your life.”
He put food in the fridge before turning and telling me calmly, “You did.”
“Only after you rejected me,” I shot back.
He leaned on the counter. “You know,” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t actually come here to fight with you.”
I smiled at him. “You’re right. Let’s go catch us some food,” I said as I stepped over and patted his shoulder.
“I packed lunch. I figured we could clean our catch and cook it for dinner.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
We carried what we needed outside and settled into our chairs on the edge of the lake. The water rippled as the sun sparkled on the surface. The distant call of birds and nature surrounded us. Every muscle in my body relaxed and I couldn’t stop smiling at how wonderful my life had become.
“Beer?” Cooper asked.
“Oh, hell yes,” I purred. “This is the best I’ve felt since—since…” I furrowed my brow. Years. It was the best I had felt since before leaving Springston. I couldn’t believe I’d spent so many years completely miserable.
“Since when?” Cooper asked.
“Since I left,” I said slowly.
Cooper lips tugged downwards. “You know, you’ve done that a few times now. If I talk about New York, or mention anything about the past you get that look on your face like som
ething’s really bothering you. Did something happen?”
I glanced off to the side.
Cooper’s eyes burned into my skin.
I knew he wouldn’t give up, not this time. And I wanted to tell him. I hadn’t told a soul and it festered in my brain giving me nightmares unless I was around Cooper. “I didn’t exactly have the best time out there.” I stopped talking, cracked open a beer, and tilted it up. “It was horrible.”
“Why?” Cooper asked softly. “I thought you’d found everything you wanted out there. I met Linda, your old friend, and she told me you were happy as a lark, dream job and everything.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I was happy as a lark. I worked for an asshole that screamed at me more often than not, and humiliated me for fun. I never saw a major story because I was just the girl who made the best coffee he’d ever had. My apartment was a shoebox that consumed most of my salary. And my boyfriend?” I laughed dryly. “My boyfriend was a manipulative psychopath. He had a way of abusing me that was so borderline that I couldn’t actually get angry. It’s like someone giving you a banana with a needle in it. You think you’ve got a banana, but you bite into a needle. He was so good at it, I actually got used to his particular brand of abuse and ended up making excuses for him. Who the hell gets used to abuse you ask? I did.”
I realized I was ranting. I blinked away my tears and quickly brushed my cheeks before I drank down my beer like it was water. A warm, pleasant buzz spread over my body, as I sat the empty can aside.
“You never told me that.” Something tight and tense resonated in Cooper’s voice.
I had never heard him sound like that before. I turned to look at him in surprise.
His jaw was clenched tight.
“I never told anyone, Cooper. Brian started out as the perfect boyfriend, and then he turned into a lazy, controlling, manipulative, aggressive bastard. At first, it was just little things; comments about my looks, or my weight, criticizing me for the way I did something, calling and texting me a million times if I was even a few minutes late, but that night I left... it escalated.”
“Escalated to what?” Cooper asked, his voice barely a whisper.
I glanced over and realized his face was contorted with fury. He clenched his hand and the can dented, beer sloshed up and over the side. I realized that when Brian clenched his fist my body trembled when Cooper did it I felt no fear to myself. “We don’t have to talk about this.” I said, reaching over to touch his hand.
“No.” He shook his head and his hold relaxed a bit. “Tell me what happened. You shouldn’t have kept something like this to yourself for so long. No wonder you’ve been walking around like a fucking spooked cat.”
My heart warmed at how protective he was over me. That was all I’d wanted out of a relationship, someone who loved me and looked out for me. I kept my hand on his and motioned for another beer.
He handed it over and stayed quiet while I opened it and took a little drink. Once I was sure I could speak without my voice trembling, I continued, “That night, Brian had clearly been drinking and I just wanted to eat and get some sleep, but he wanted to—you know, have sex.” I drank more of the bitter beer. “But I didn’t want him anywhere near me. We argued and then he started choking me and wouldn’t stop. I was about to pass out and I swear I saw it in his eyes. He wanted to kill me. He would have killed me if he hadn’t made the mistake of thinking he could fuck me while he strangled me. I took my chance and kneed him in the balls and took off. He was screaming that if he couldn’t have me no one would. That he would find me. I didn’t look back. Everything I own is still in that apartment, but I’ll never go back to it. I’m just happy to be free.”
Cooper released a deep breath. “That fucking coward, asshole,” he hissed. “How dare he put his hands on you? He’s lucky he’s still there because I would have fucking killed him.” He blinked. “Fucking hell. That’s why you used to wear all those high collars for the first week you came to town.”
I stared at Cooper. Seeing him so angry surprised me. I knew he wouldn’t be okay with it, but I didn’t expect such a visceral reaction. I put my beer aside and stood up to wrap my arms around him.
Cooper calmed down in my arms and reached up to hold onto my wrists. “You shouldn’t have to be the one comforting me. You’re the one that went through it.”
“Yeah, but I’ve accepted it, or as much of it as I can stand. I’m okay now, so don’t worry about it. Okay?”
“If that bastard ever shows his face here, I’ll cave it in for him. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. I’ll never be okay with that.”
I closed my eyes and leaned against Cooper. He made me feel safe. I’d worried about Brian finding me since I’d come back home. Knowing that he would look out for me helped. “Don’t beat anyone up. I don’t want you going to jail because of me. I don’t think he’ll find me here, or at least I don’t think so. I never left a trail and I never told him about this place. Even in the early days of our relationship, I must have known something was wrong, but I held back telling him about everything that was most important to me.”
“Well, if he ever finds his way down here, I will make him sorry.”
“Don’t do that. I don’t want you to get in trouble because of me. All I ask is that you look out for me if you can. I like closing the bar down with you because at least, we leave together.”
“Then we’ll close it down together all the time.” Cooper held me tightly. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
The funny thing was that I believed him. It was hard for me to trust anyone, especially the men in my life, but I wanted to trust someone again. I wanted to trust Cooper. I wasn’t all the way sold, but it did give me some comfort. Maybe things were going to go right for me finally. Maybe?
In the end, we didn’t end up staying in the cabin. Cooper became strangely withdrawn over dinner and eventually, he blurted out that he was truly, truly sorry he had messed up my life.
I told him I was a big girl and it was my decision to end up in New York or even go out with Brian. Something had changed inside me.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ivy
I ducked into the back of the bar around noon and quickly got myself ready before I popped into the front.
“What’s with the face?” Cooper asked as I walked up to the counter.
“There’s no face.”
He narrowed his intoxicatingly mesmerizing eyes. “There is clearly a face. Is something wrong?”
I shrugged. Nothing was wrong so much as I couldn’t get things out of my head. The main thing being him. I had forced him to agree on us being just friends, nothing more, but I couldn’t stop wanting him. Especially, after he showed how much he cared for me at the lake. I told myself it was because no one had turned me on in so long. As a matter of fact, no one had turned me on since him… but it was more than that. “I’m fine, really.” I smiled and picked up my tray. “It’s a good day. Relax.”
Cooper nodded, but his eyes followed me throughout the bar, which only made a shiver of desire jog up my spine. Stop looking at me or I’m going to melt. My legs pressed together as I stopped to take an order, but I was so on edge with wanting him, I could feel myself getting wet.
Jesus, when was the last time that happened to me?
Never.
I forced myself to concentrate on my job. The more I worked, the less time I would have to stare at Cooper. Or at least that was the plan. It was much harder to execute when I came close to those strong arms or he pushed his fingers through his silky blond hair. When he smiled and it became a deep, powerful laugh… I shuddered with pent up lust.
This was going to become a problem.
Whenever I went up for drinks or carried out food, Cooper was never far from me. The scent of his cologne lingered in my nose until it drove me crazy. How was I supposed to work when he was everywhere? The man was a complete and utter distraction. How was a girl supposed to stay composed around all of that
?
I felt more than thankful when it was time to close up. Mel and Cindy took off as usual which left Cooper and me alone. I took my sweet time wiping down the tables and the bar until I couldn’t stall anymore. Then I trudged into the back office and took my seat where I picked up a pen ready to help record the numbers for the day.
“Look at that, you’re done avoiding me for the day,” Cooper commented with a grin.
“I wasn’t avoiding you!”
“Then why are your cheeks so rosy?”
A hand fluttered up to my cheek and I felt the heat in my skin. Damnit. I didn’t know I was showing it so obviously. My eyes locked on the sheet of paper in front of me as I pretended to be very interested in the numbers on the page. “I just had a lot on my mind,” I muttered.
“Like what?” he asked. I heard the hint of a grin in there. “You can’t avoid me forever. Were you thinking about me?”
I started to shut him down, but I heard the desire in his voice. He wanted me to be thinking about him. I didn’t want to destroy his feelings like that, especially if it was with a lie. I chewed my lip instead until the silence spread so long that I couldn’t deny his words. “Shut up,” I finally muttered.
Cooper tilted his head back and burst out laughing at my childish come back.
I tried to hide my grin, but his laughter was contagious, and before I could stop myself, I cracked up too.
Cooper reached over and brushed the locks that had escaped my ponytail out of my face. “Did you get that out of your system?”
“No, there’s a lot more childish nonsense where that came from, so watch out.”
“I’ve got big shoulders, so bring it on,” he drawled, his eyes twinkling.
Our chuckling died down and disappeared before I was pulled out of my chair and half-standing as our lips crashed together. Cooper’s kiss was strong and possessive and I pushed my body on to the desk. I could hear papers and stuff falling to the ground as he pulled me across until I was on his side and facing him, the desk under my butt. His fingers raked into my hair and scratched my scalp. I slipped my tongue out and Cooper ran with it. His tongue swiped mine before he sucked on it. My pussy twitched.
Let’s Start Over Page 10