by Karen Cogan
A few days after Ricky began medication, his teacher called. Rachel answered the phone, and was pleased to hear her say, "I wanted to tell you what a difference the medication has made. Ricky's settled down and usually finishes his work. It did him a world of good."
Rachel smiled. She had noticed an improvement.
"Still, I’m worried," Mrs. Jeffries continued. "He came in this morning acting like his old self, didn't pay attention, and couldn’t stay in his seat. I called his grandmother and she said she had taken him off the medication because she didn't believe in drugging children. I tried to reason with her but she said I didn't like Ricky and accused me of telling him he was stupid. I've had my frustrations with him, but I've never called him stupid."
Her tone was adamant. Rachel found her regard for Mrs. Jeffries increasing. "I know you didn't. I think his grandmother can't accept the fact that he has this problem.”
“I'd speak with his dad, but he's out of town right now. He won't be back until the weekend. Ricky is supposed to come in this afternoon for tutoring. I'll talk to his grandmother then."
"Thanks. I hope you can make her understand how much the medicine helps him."
"I'll try."
She hung up to deal with her own frustration. Why was Ricky's grandmother so difficult? She obviously loved him or she wouldn't spend her time taking care of him.
Rachel sighed. Whatever the problem, she was stuck trying to reason with her this afternoon. It was just like Jonathon to be out of town when she needed him.
She checked her appointment book. Ricky was due to come in a half-hour. Pulling all of her mental resources together, she whispered a quick prayer and prepared to face Nina.
The door opened and Terri walked in. Rachel raised her eyebrows in a show of mock disapproval. "You missed Jazzercise this morning."
In answer, Terri held out a shopping bag. "I'm sorry. I promise to exercise on Friday. I had to buy a dress this morning. Eric's taking me to meet his parents at a restaurant tonight. I'm so nervous. I hope I won't show it."
Rachel studied her friend’s worried frown and smiled. "You'll be fine. Just be your bubbly self and they won't be able to resist your charm."
"I hope you're right." She strode to the back office to stow her bag.
Rachel turned her mind back to her work. A few minutes later, Nina's familiar sedan pulled up.
She took a deep breath. Here goes.
Nina's face was an unreadable mask as she glanced at Rachel and asked, "Are we late?"
"No. You're right on time. Please sit down. I'm going to start Ricky on some work. Then I'll be back and we can talk."
She took Ricky to the cubicle and set his work on the small table. "Work on this. Circle the pictures that start with each letter."
After doing the first together, she explained, "I'm going to talk to your grandmother. I'll be back in a few minutes."
She left the little boy working on his paper and went to face Nina. Before she could sit down, he came bouncing out. "I did this one. See?"
"That's good, but I want you to do them all." She took him back to the cubicle. "Stay here until you finish."
She scurried back to Nina and launched right in. "I got a call from Ricky's teacher a little while ago. She's concerned about his ability to learn when he's not on medication."
"Why did she call you?"
"She couldn't reach Jonathon and she said you wouldn't listen to her. I guess I was the only other number she had."
"I don't think much of teachers who can't do their jobs without drugging the children."
"Not all children need medication. However, Ricky does. Without it, he has a hard time sitting still long enough to learn anything."
"There's nothing wrong with him. I taught him the alphabet when he was two years old."
"There's nothing wrong with his intelligence. He's a very bright child. If you co-operate with giving his medicine he should do very well in school."
"His mother wouldn't approve."
"Yet, his father does. If I have to, I'll find a way to get a hold of him through his office."
Nina's eyes narrowed into annoyed slits. "There's no need of that. I'll give the medication, yet if anything goes wrong, I'll hold you to blame."
"Nothing will go wrong." She patted Nina lightly on the hand as she stood and said, "I better get back to Ricky.”
She found him peering around the cubicle to watch Terri's student. The older child tried to ignore his curious face while struggling with a row of math problems.
Rachel took him by the shoulders and led him back to his table. "Did you finish your work?"
He didn't answer. He was busy rocking his chair back and forth.
"You only did three. Let's work on the rest together."
As they worked through the worksheet, she consoled herself with the knowledge that he would be back on his medication when he came for his next session. No wonder Mrs. Jeffries noticed such a difference.
Though the session was unproductive, she felt a sense of accomplishment as she sent him home. She had convinced Nina to continue his prescription, and that was important.
Later that evening, as she curled on the couch to watch television, the phone rang.
"I couldn't resist giving you a call. I know it's late but I thought you'd still be up."
Her heart skipped a beat when she recognized Jonathon's voice. "I'm up. I wouldn't mind if you woke me, though. Did you just get up?"
"I've been working all night and I kept thinking about you. It looks like I'll be here another week. I can hardly wait to see you again."
His words warmed her heart. "I miss you, too."
"Is everything going okay?"
She thought about her conversation with Nina and wondered if she should tell him. Since Nina had agreed to resume Ricky's medication, she decided there would be nothing to gain by mentioning it. "Everything's fine. I saw Ricky today. He misses you, too."
"I promised him a trip to the zoo when I get back. Could I convince you to come along?"
An image of the three of them played in her mind, a family like she’d always wanted. "It wouldn't take much convincing."
"Good. I'll see you when I return.”
She settled back on the couch and pulled the afghan around her, feeling warm and content from the physical comfort of the blanket and the mental comfort of Jonathon's call.
The next two days were busy. Just as they were closing on Friday, the phone rang. Terri answered and announced.
"It's that strange old woman."
Rachel knew without asking that it had to be Nina. She took the phone and answered pleasantly. "This is Rachel."
"I told you something bad would happen. I told you Ricky shouldn't be on that medicine. He's been getting dizzy. Tonight he fell and broke his arm. We just got back from the hospital. Maybe now you'll listen."
Rachel's mind churned as accusatory words sunk in. "I've never heard of a child having this reaction. Did you tell Dr. Lewis Ricky was having dizzy spells?"
"Dr. who?"
"Dr. Lewis, the psychiatrist. Maybe the dose needs to be adjusted."
"You never learn, do you? I'm not calling any psychiatrist and I'm not bringing Ricky to you any more. You're probably in with that doctor. You probably get a kick-back from sending perfectly normal children to her."
"That's not true. Dr. Lewis is highly reputable and so am I."
"Humph."
"I do feel terrible he broke his arm. May I talk to him?"
"He's resting. I just wanted you to know why you wouldn't be seeing him next week, that's all."
"Please, you've got to call Dr. Lewis
." The decisive click on the other end left her in tears.
"What's wrong?" Terri asked.
"It's Ricky. Apparently his medication made him dizzy. He fell and broke his arm. You go on home. I'm going to put in a call to Dr. Lewis."
The answering service took a message. Rachel tried to concentrate on paper work while she waited for the doctor to call back. After fifteen minutes the phone rang.
"Rachel, this is Janet. What's wrong?"
She explained the situation to the puzzled psychiatrist. "I can't imagine why the medication caused him to be dizzy. We need to run some tests to evaluate what's wrong. I'll call the grandmother and see if I can change her mind."
Rachel doubted it would do any good, but knew it was the best they could do. She hung up with a feeling of impotence. She was worried about Ricky and wished she could see him. If only Jonathon were home. Why was he always gone?
On Saturday afternoon, she took a call from Janet Lewis."I didn't have much luck with the grandma. She insists the medication made him sick. We'll have to wait until Mr. Parker gets home and talk to him."
Rachel hated the idea of waiting to solve this puzzle. Yet, what choice did they have? It seemed all she did with Jonathon was wait.
Before school started on Monday, she called Ricky's teacher. "Mrs. Jeffries, did you notice Ricky having any dizzy spells in school?"
"No. Why?"
"He's broken his arm and his grandmother blames his fall on the medication. She said it made him dizzy."
"The only thing I noticed was that he settled down and did his work."
"Don't be surprised if he's a little hyper today. She took him off his medicine and is refusing to talk to his doctor. His dad will be back at the end of the week. Maybe we can get it straightened out then.”
"I hope so. For Ricky's sake."
"So do I."
She had a sudden thought. "Could I come by during lunch and talk to Ricky?"
"I don't see why not."
"Okay, thanks."
If Nina wouldn't let Ricky come to her, she would go to him. After Jazzercise, she changed out of her work-out clothes and headed for his school. She found him in the cafeteria blowing the paper off his straw.
"Hi, Ricky."
He turned to face her. "May I sit down?"
He nodded as she wedged herself into the bench beside him. "How are you doing?"
"I broke my arm." He held the cast out for her inspection. Several names were written in childish print along the length of the cast.
"I heard. I'm sorry. Does it still hurt?"
"No. It hurt when they moved it though."
"You mean the doctor and nurses?"
He nodded.
"How did you fall?"
He fell silent, looking into his plate of untouched food. She watched him closely. "Were you dizzy? Did the medicine make you feel sick?"
He continued to stare.
"Ricky?"
"I fell down the stairs," he mumbled.
"Did you feel sick before you fell, like everything in the room was going around and around?
"No. I just fell."
"Why did you fall?"
"I don't know. I guess I tripped."
"Have you felt sick since you started taking the medicine Dr. Lewis gave you?"
"No."
"And you haven't fallen before?"
"No." He looked so sad that she reached over and gave him a quick hug.
"It's okay. Everybody falls sometimes. I'm going to go now so you can finish your lunch."
When she reached the office, she called Nina. As she waited impatiently for her to answer, hard words formed in her throat. This woman had tried to undermine his treatment at every turn. And now this.
After several rings, she heard Nina's voice on the other end, sounding slightly groggy.
"This is Rachel Ashworth. I need to talk to you."
"I just woke up. I was so upset about Ricky, I didn't sleep last night. I dozed off after I got him to school."
"I just talked to him. He told me he hasn't been dizzy. All children fall and sometimes they break their arms, but I can't believe you used this accident to try and get him off his medication. You must put him back on right now, or take him to see Dr. Lewis if you're still worried."
"You talked to Ricky without my permission?"
"I didn't need your permission."
"So, you're saying I lied." Her speech was slow.
"I don't care whether you lied or not. Just put him back on his medicine."
"I'm feeling sick. I have to go."
She hung up, leaving Rachel to stew about the outcome of her call. She tried to shake free of concern, reminding herself that he wasn't her child or her responsibility. Yet she couldn't get him out of her mind.
She closed her eyes and whispered, "Lord, help me turn this child over to you. Please help me find a way to help him."
Not until Wednesday afternoon did she know she had won the confrontation. Though Nina had vowed not to bring him again, there she was, dropping him off at the door. Instead of waiting in the wicker chair as usual, she took off in her sedan, leaving him to come in alone. She might not be happy, but no matter, at least she brought him.
Rachel greeted him. "I'm glad to see you. How's your arm?"
Instead of answering about his broken arm, he surprised her by holding out his other arm, rolling up his shirt to reveal an angry red mark across his forearm. "I burned it on Grandma's curling iron."
"Oh, Ricky, I bet that hurt!"
"I was bad. I'm always bad." His soulful brown eyes fixed on her as though awaiting her confirmation.
"You're not bad. You must not think that. You do need to leave dangerous things alone. I bet you won't touch the curling iron again, will you?" She smiled as the waif of a boy shook his head.
"I'll be good, too."
"You're already good. Now let's get to work."
When they finished, she noticed Nina waiting outside. On a whim, she decided to walk Ricky to the car. "He did well today."
Nina face, carved of stone, did not change expression as he climbed in. "He would do better if left to me, but my wishes aren't being considered."
Rachel felt a pang of pity for the old woman. "Everyone appreciates how hard you work to take care of Ricky. Remember, though, we want what's best for him, too."
Without a reply, Nina backed the car and drove away. Rachel went inside to await her next student. She wished she could appease Nina. She wanted to get along with her, to work together to help Ricky. However, the woman didn't make it easy.
On Saturday night, Jonathon called. It seemed like months since she had heard his voice. Yet, when he spoke, the time that passed between them melted away as though he had been with her all week.
"I guess you saw your son's arm?"
"Yes. I signed his cast. I guess it was bound to happen sometime. I broke my arm twice as a kid."
"I hope you gave him some sympathy. He's having a hard time with his self-esteem lately. He tells me he thinks he's bad. He needs you to reassure him."
He was quiet a moment. She hoped he was considering her words. His assurance would mean a lot to his son. "I may be partly to blame. I get impatient with him when he won't settle down. I need to praise him more often."
"That would help."
"I'll start making amends. I'm taking him to the zoo tomorrow afternoon. I recall asking a certain young lady to accompany us. Are you available?"
"I am."
"We could pick you up about one."
"That would be fine. Did I tell you I don’t do reptiles?”
Rachael shivered at the thought of snakes slithering over branches in their cages.
She sensed his smile as he replied, “I think we can work around it.”
She woke up the next morning to see that even the weather cooperated with Jonathon's plans. Sunshine lit the sky. It was going to be a perfect March Sunday.
She stretched and smelled the scent of coffee and bacon wafting in from her neighbor's apartment. Padding barefoot to the kitchen, she felt invigorated and vibrantly alive.
After church, she would see Jonathon. She could hardly wait.
When the service ended, she hurried back home to change into jeans. She brushed her hair into a glistening auburn wave, setting down her brush at the sound of the doorbell. The smell of honeysuckle from the vine outside drifted in as she opened the door to Jonathon's warm smile. His eyes lingered hungrily on her face. "I've missed you."
She smiled in return. "I've missed you, too."
Leaning down, he kissed her lightly on the lips. "You're all I thought about while I was away. It was a terrible distraction."
"Good." She slipped playfully past him to lock the door. "Are you sure Ricky doesn't mind if I come?"
"He's excited about it. He likes you, you know."
"He's a nice little boy. I worry about him. Nina doesn't understand how important it is for him to stay on medication."
She glanced at Jonathon and met a guarded expression.
"Let's not worry about anything today. I want us to have a good time." His tone held a boyish appeal that touched her heart.
"Then we'll have a good time."
Ricky waited in the backseat of the car. He greeted her enthusiastically "We might see a hyena." His eyes were round with excitement. "They look sort of like a dog. I might get a dog."
Jonathon slid behind the wheel and said, "He wants a dog."
"I know."
When they got to the zoo, Ricky could hardly contain his excitement. He bounced out of the car and forged ahead toward the gate. In two long strides Jonathon caught up and put a hand on his son's shoulder. "Whoa, buddy. This is a big place and we stay together."
"Hasn't he ever been to the zoo?"
"No. Eva didn't spend much time taking him places and a zoo wouldn't hold any interest for Nina."
She felt a stir of sympathy for the child. What had his life been like before he came to Jonathon? Eva had been an absent and disturbed mother. And his grandmother? She still hadn't figured Nina out.
They reached the simulated jungle. Head level with the glass, Ricky stared into the grass at the massive African lion.
"He's big," Ricky said.
He certainly is," Rachel agreed.
When they moved to the rhinoceros, Ricky paused in awe. "Wow, look at him. I bet nobody tries to hurt him. I wish I had a horn like that. Nobody would hurt me."
Jonathon put his arm around his son. "Nobody's going to hurt you. You're safe with me, pal."
They followed Ricky around the zoo until his lagging steps betrayed his fatigue. Jonathan bought them each a bag of popcorn to eat on the way to the car.
"Did you have a good time?" Rachel asked.
Ricky nodded. "I want to come here every week. Probably I can't, though."
He frowned. "Dad's out of town a lot."
"I know." She looked at Jonathon, who deftly avoided her eyes.
It tore him inside to realize she disapproved of the time he spent away from home. How could he make her understand he wouldn’t be the successful man he’d strived to become without being a slave to his job? Would she like him as well if he was down and out, working odd jobs to make ends meet?
On the drive back, Ricky's head drooped to his chest. Rachael glanced back and said, "He had a good time."
Though Jonathon was pleased Ricky enjoyed the outing, he was more concerned whether Rachel had enjoyed their company. "Did you?"
"Yes I did."
"I hope it doesn't have to end. I'd like to take you to dinner and a movie tonight if you're free."
"What about Ricky?"
"Nina's already said she could stay tonight and feed him supper."
"In that case, I'd love to."
He smiled. "Being with you makes me feel like the years have dropped away. I feel like a kid again, free and ready for fun. Life hasn't been much fun the last few years."
"I know. I haven't put much value on fun lately either. I've been preoccupied with my job. It's taken a lot out of us to make a go of our own business. I hadn't realized how much I missed a day at the zoo."
He smiled. "Neither did I. Or how hungry it could make me. If it's okay with you, let's take Ricky home and go straight for a burger."
She nodded, glad he’d suggested burgers. "That's fine with me." Her jeans and T-shirt were good enough for fast food and a movie. It would be relaxing to go somewhere she didn't have to dress up.
She decided to voice what was on her mind. "I hope Nina doesn't mind watching Ricky tonight. Doesn't she have any life of her own? I know she loves him, yet it must be hard to be on constant call."
Jonathon looked at her thoughtfully as he pulled up to the townhouse. "She doesn't seem to want anything else in her life. She was always centered on Eva and then Ricky. I guess it's all she needs."
Parking at the curb, he called to Ricky, "We're home, Sport. Time to wake up."
Rachel smiled at Ricky's lack of response. "He's really tired. I think we wore him out."
"We did, but I don't think he's ever had more fun."
Jonathon opened the car door. "You can wait here if you like. I'm going to carry him inside."
Ricky stirred as he felt his father's arms slide securely beneath him. He opened his dark eyes and looked around. Concern filled his face.
"We're going to a movie. I'm going to leave you here for a nice dinner with Nina," Jonathon explained.
Ricky's small mouth screwed in protest. "I don't want to stay here. I want to go with you."
Scooping him off the seat, Jonathon said, "You've spent all afternoon with us. Don't you think Nina would like some company now?"
"No. I don't want to stay here. I don't want to. I want to go with you!"
Setting him on the ground, Jonathon stared in consternation at his child. "Ricky, listen. You can't go with us. You'll have a good time with Nina."
"No! No!" Ricky's attempt to reach the car was thwarted as his father lifted him and carried him toward the house.
Rachel watched Nina appear in the doorway and reach for the crying child. As Jonathon placed him inside the door, Nina took him by the shoulders and turned him towards her for a hug.
Unable to hear the conversation, Rachel noticed Nina’s expression harden as she glared at Rachel. After a moment, Jonathon turned away and Nina closed the door.
Rachel watched in concern as he approached the car. "Is he okay? Maybe you should stay home tonight."
He shook his head. "I don't think that would be a good idea. I don't want to spoil him, make him think that throwing a fit gets him his own way."
"He seemed really upset."
Jonathon hesitated, considering her words. Concern creased his brow. Then he shook it off. "No. He's just tired and hungry. He'll be okay."
He reached under the seat and pulled out a section of newspaper. "I happen to have the movie listings here. Pick out something you'd like to see."
They sat in the car and studied the movies. Rachael pointed to a listing. "I've heard this is good. It starts at six-forty five."
"That's fine with me. Anything you want to see is fine with me."
He nuzzled his face into her hair. "Your hair smells good, like
strawberries."
"Scented shampoos are fun. I also have apple and cherry."
"I'll look forward to those, too." He put his finger under her chin and gently lifted her face. He looked into her eyes, and then down to her lips which unconsciously parted. He bent and she felt the soft touch of his mouth.
After a long moment he released her and whispered, "Being with you is like coming home. I feel comfortable and secure. You're also the most exciting woman I've ever met. How do you manage all those things at once?"
She ran her hand along the five o’clock shadow on his face. Looking into his eyes she replied, "I feel the same way.”
It's like everything has been on hold until you came back into my life."
He kissed each eyebrow and the bridge of her nose. "I'm glad I found you. I'm never going to lose you again.
“Unless, I starve you to death. How about that hamburger?"
He nodded and started the car. "That sounds good, too. All that walking made me hungry, too."
As she watched his capable hands, she felt more happiness bubbling inside her than she felt she could contain. If only they could be like this forever, as alone and unencumbered by responsibilities as they were tonight. Tomorrow, they would go back to their working worlds. Tonight, she wanted to forget everything except the look in his eyes as he kissed her.
They parked and ordered curb-side burgers and sodas.
"So, tell me what you do for fun when you're not working or doing aerobics with Terri," he said.
She knew him well enough, even after all these years, to translate the question into, "Are there other men in your life?"
"Since I work long hours, there's not a lot of time left over. I needlepoint and read, teach an adult Sunday school class, sometimes go to movies with friends."
She grinned at him.
"What are you teaching now?"
"I'm teaching a study leading up to Easter."
"Sounds interesting."
She was pleased by his interest. "Why don't you come sometime? You came with me once years ago. Remember?"
"I remember. I felt out of place. It was only the second time I'd ever been in a church. The other time was for my grandfather's funeral."
"Well, I may not be the most exciting teacher, but I promise it will be better than a funeral."
"I’ll try and make it if I'm in town next weekend, just to see what it's like."
She found it more likely he wanted to discover if she had any male devotees. Amused, she wondered if he knew most of her class was over fifty years old, would he still be willing to come? No matter. She was willing to settle for whatever got him to church.
They got to the movie and snuggled as closely together as the neighboring teen-agers. The smell of popcorn brought back memories of past dates. By far, the most memorable ones were with the man who sat beside her now.
.