by Karen Cogan
She arrived at church with a sense of anticipation. Did Jonathon mean what he said? Would he really come? The sound of voices in the hall told her the class was arriving. June Cravens boomed above the others, speaking to George Taylor, who was almost deaf. Rachel loved the patience and humor of these older folk. Most had been in the church for years and could have taught the class from the knowledge they had accumulated. Instead, they appreciated her youth and enthusiasm, planning lessons and pot luck luncheons. She preferred this group to the singles class she had attended.
They filled the room, chatting as they waited for Annie to begin playing the hymns. They sang with unabashed fervor. Rachel glanced at her watch and fought the twinge of disappointment that Jonathon had not come. What had she expected? She had tried in vain while in high school to get him involved in the church youth group. Why expect that he would come now?
Annie finished the last hymn and Rachel began reading the class announcements. As she finished, she looked up to see Jonathon peer cautiously into the room. Their eyes met and some of the apprehension left his face. He stepped inside and slipped into a back row chair. White -haired heads turned curiously to see the young man. She grinned at the stir he caused and the look on his face. It was obvious he had expected a younger group.
After finishing the announcements, Rachael threw herself into the moving story of Jesus' struggle at Gethsemane. The study would culminate with the resurrection on Easter Sunday.
When class was over, she collected her notes while Jonathon made his way toward her. "Sorry I was late. I had to find Ricky's class and then ask for directions here."
She smiled warmly. "I'm thrilled you came. I'm a little surprised, too."
He was surprised by how right it felt to walk through the church doors. He said, "I wanted to see what's been drawing you all these years."
She longed to make him understand the depth of comfort she had derived from her faith. With all her heart she desired for him to experience it, too. Yet, she sensed she must move slowly. For today, it was enough that he had come. So she asked simply, "Are you staying for church?"
"Only if I can sit by a beautiful and eloquent woman."
"There were several in this class, but they've left. I'm afraid you're stuck with me." She grinned impishly.
"You'll do nicely." He slipped his arm around her waist as they walked through the now empty room. At the doorway, he released her. "Don't want to cause a scandal."
"It's too late. After your appearance this morning, the whole church will be talking about me," she teased.
They picked up Ricky at his room and admired the craft he held proudly. "Did you like Sunday school?" Rachel asked.
He nodded enthusiastically. "It was fun. I'm glad I could go. I was sick last night after Grandma gave me some yucky medicine. I was okay this morning."
She glanced quickly at Jonathon for an explanation. He rubbed Ricky's hair and said, "Nina thought he was upset because we went out. I think it was something he ate. He was fine this morning."
The music was starting as they made their way down the aisle. Though she tried to concentrate on the hymns, she couldn't get her mind off what Ricky had said.
After the service, they walked together toward their cars. Before he climbed in, she knelt down beside Ricky.
"Did you feel sick before your grandmother gave you the medicine?"
"No."
"You were fine before she gave you the medicine and then you felt sick?"
He nodded.
She faced Jonathon. "Why would she do such a thing?"
He wore a puzzled frown. "Do what?"
"Give a child something to deliberately make him sick!"
He sighed. "She probably gave him some bismuth after he told her his stomach was upset. Unfortunately, it was already too late." He grimaced as he held the door for Ricky to hop
inside.
"Ricky said he felt fine before the medicine. Did you ask what she gave him?"
His frown deepened. "No. Of course not. Like I told you, she thought he made himself sick from getting upset when we went out."
Struck by a revelation, she said, "Don't you see? She wants you to believe that seeing me is making Ricky sick. She wants us to feel guilty and she'll do anything to make it work, even making him sick."
He shook his head. "Now wait a minute. She may be bitter about Eva, but she wouldn't do that to Ricky."
"I don't know how you can be so sure."
"I've told you what a help she's been. She came over early this morning to start a baked chicken for lunch. I was going to ask you to join us."
She shook her head. "Not unless you take this more seriously. I don't think she should be taking care of Ricky."
"I can't believe you're being this way after listening to a sermon about forgiveness. I know she hasn't been nice to you, but she's a grieving old woman."
"It's not about forgiveness. It's about using Ricky as a pawn." Suddenly she remembered the note.
"She mailed me a letter. I left it in my other purse. She said I should stop seeing you or she would have to do things she didn't want to do. What was really bizarre was that she signed it from Eva."
His disapproving frown turned to open mouthed surprise. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"I wonder what things she meant."
"I don't know. Probably giving Ricky something like ipecac to make him sick."
He shook his head. "I still can't believe it. I'll keep an eye on her when I get back in town."
"You mean you're going away this week and leaving him with her?"
"I don't really have a choice. It's my job. Anyway, she's his grandmother. She wouldn't do anything really bad for him."
For a moment, Jonathon felt a stab of uncertainty. He dispelled it with the thought that Nina had cared for Ricky since he was a baby.
She clenched her hands in impotent frustration. "You can't put your job before Ricky's safety."
"He'll be fine until I get back. It sounds like she only wants to get back at you. Since we won't be going out this week everything should be fine."
She shook her head disapprovingly.
In response, he said, "It'll be okay. You'll see."
He rubbed her cheek gently. "Are you sure you won't come for lunch? Maybe it would help if you and Nina got to know each other better."
She wavered. She wanted to spend time with him before he left and she wanted to watch over Ricky. Perhaps she could learn something from the way Nina treated Ricky at home. Yet, what good would it do? She couldn't stay there while Jonathon was gone. More importantly, she couldn't take the chance that her visit might upset Nina.
She shook her head. If she couldn't help, she wouldn't come at all.
He shrugged. "I'll miss you this week."
She tried to smile. "I'll miss you, too. Thanks for coming to church. I hope you'll come again."
He nodded. "I think I will."
After wishing him a good trip, she headed for her car.
She tried not to worry about Ricky as she began a new week. Yet she found, more often than not, his small face etched itself in her mind. When it was time for his tutoring session, she was relieved by his exuberant entrance. "I'm getting my cast off tomorrow. Then, Dad's taking me out on his boat next Monday to celebrate. I'm going to learn to water ski. He's going to ask you to come along. Will you? Please?"
She knelt down to him. "I don't know. I'll have to see if I can. I promise I'll try."
Nina's voice cut in abruptly. "Miss Ashworth is your tutor, not your playmate. I'm sure she has lots to do besides boating."
Rachel stared into the cold eyes. Without comme
nting, she took Ricky's hand and led him to the cubicle. Seating herself beside him, she asked, "How have you been?"
"Okay."
"Have you missed your daddy?"
He nodded. "I have to stay in my room after supper and be quiet. I don't like to stay in my room so much."
"Why do you have to stay in your room?"
"If I come out, I make noise and give Grandma a headache."
"Oh. What do you do in your room?"
"I play on the computer. Dad got me lots of games."
She felt her exasperation rise. Would Jonathon ever understand? A computer and all the games in the world were no substitute for a father.
Helpless to interfere, she turned her attention to the papers Mrs. Jeffries sent for Rachel to check his progress. It was a relief to have someone co-operate with her efforts.
"This is great. You made mostly B's last week. I'm proud of you."
Ricky grinned in response and pointed to a sticker on his shirt. "I got this for good work."
"You've been working hard. Are you ready to work some more? Maybe you can earn a sticker from me."
They worked steadily to learn compound words. When they finished, she let him pick out a sticker for his effort. He bounced from the cubicle, slowing to compose himself as he reached the door to the reception area. Rachael let him go out alone. Nina didn’t want to see her and she seemed to take it out on Ricky.
After they left the building Rachael found Terri in her cubicle, completing her paperwork. She glanced up at Rachel's appearance.
"Got a minute?" Rachel asked.
"Sure."
"Could you cover for me next Monday if I decide to go boating?"
"Boating?"
"Yes. Jonathon's taking Ricky out on their boat and I'm invited to come along. Nina would love for me to decline, but Ricky wants me to come and I'm not going to let her chase me off." Her lips closed in a determined line.
"That's the spirit. Speaking of time off, I rescheduled my Friday night appointments. I'm going to work them in on Sunday afternoon."
"Let me guess. You want to clean your apartment.
Terri grinned. "Right."
"Tell Eric "hi".
....
Rachael didn't hear from Jonathon until Saturday night.
"What a week," he said. "We worked almost around the clock.
I'm exhausted. Even so, I wish I had gotten in sooner. I would love to have asked you out."
"That's okay. I have lots of paperwork to do tonight. How's Ricky?"
"He's fine. He tells me he remembered to invite you to go boating. Are we on for Monday?"
"I'm all set. I asked Terri to cover what I couldn't re-schedule. She only has a couple to work in."
"Good. I'm glad you're coming."
"Me, too. But I have to warn you. I haven't skied in years."
"It's like riding a bike. You'll pick it back up."
She signed. "I hope you're right."
"By the way, I'd like to thank you for the way you've helped Ricky. He brought home a report card yesterday with all A's and B's. You deserve the credit."
She was proud of what she was able to accomplish with Ricky. It was a feeling she had often lacked as a classroom teacher. Back then, she had struggled with too many students and too many different needs.
"I've been able to give him individual attention and that does help. However, a lot of credit goes to his teacher.”
“I don’t know. I’m impressed with you,” Jonathon insisted.
She laughed. "You won't be after you see me ski."
"Leave that for me to decide."
On Sunday, she awoke with the hope that Jonathon would decide to return to her class. Not just for his sake, but for Ricky's also. It was important he begin to receive a religious education.
The fragrant scent of jasmine and honeysuckle drifted into the car as she drove through a neighborhood of modest, well kept, homes. Many of the yards were ablaze with purple rosebuds, other yards sported pink puffs of mimosa. What would it be like to have a yard again? To dig in the dirt and watch your bulbs spring to life each year? She thought of the small garden outside Jonathon's courtyard, tended by a professional service. What would she plant there if it were her garden? Flowers. She would take out the shrubs and plant azalea, pansies and tulips. She laughed at her thoughts. If she were to marry Jonathon, what made her think he would want her to change his yard?
She reached the church and hurried to her classroom. Having dawdled over a second cup of coffee, she was running late. She reached the room, just as Annie began the music.
She scanned the heads as she scurried to her seat. Jonathon was seated where he had sat the week before. He glanced up with a smile as their eyes met.
She continued her lesson about Jesus' treatment at the hands of the Sanhedrin and the struggles of his disciples to accept and understand what was happening. When she finished, she hurried over to Jonathon. "I'm glad you came back."
"You got me hooked. Now I have to hear the rest of the story."
"There's more. After this, we're studying the Acts of the Apostles."
"Guess I better stick around."
Happiness bubbled inside her. She was back with the man she had always loved and he was seeking what had always been missing in his life---fellowship with God. She was thrilled God was allowing her to be a part.
They picked up Ricky and settled into a pew. Sitting beside the two of them, she felt she had the family she had always wanted. There wasn't a doubt in her mind she could love Ricky as she would her own son. She already did.
When the service ended, they walked together to the parking lot. "How about lunch?" Jonathon asked.
Her eyebrows raised in automatic alert.
Jonathon smiled. "Just the three of us. We'll grab some hamburgers."
"Yeah. Yeah!" Ricky was jumping up and down.
Since he’d not mentioned Nina, she said, "I'd love to."
"Great. We'll meet you there." Jonathon nodded towards the hamburger stand.
As they stood in line to order, he said, "I do a lot of eating out. You know what I miss the most? It's those fudge brownies you used to make when we were in high school."
She smiled. "I've still got the recipe. I'll make some for the picnic tomorrow."
After lunch, they sat near the playground to watch Ricky play on the equipment. "Tell Terri "thanks" when you see her," Jonathon said.
She raised her eyebrows. "Oh. What for?"
"She recommended my firm to her boyfriend's company and they decided to use our services. They have overseas holdings and I've been put in charge of drawing up some needed documents."
She paused, drink in mid-air. "I haven't seen as much of Terri lately. She's been having lunch with Eric a lot. I guess she forgot to tell me about the referral. I'm not sure whether to thank her or glue her files together. Won't this extra work just mak
e you busier?"
He shrugged. "A little. If it hadn't been that, it would have been something else. At least, this way, the senior partners are impressed that I was recommended. They like the associates to bring in business."
She twirled her straw. Without looking up, she asked, "How much work will it take to get the position you want with this firm?"
"Probably no more than I'm already doing."
Sounding hurt, he added, "I thought you'd be pleased that Terri recommended me."
"I am. Still, I hope you won't get any busier."
Covering her hand with his, he said, "I won't. Special projects take a little more time, though."
"I know, but don't forget how much Ricky needs you right now."
"I won't. I could be at the country club playing golf and dining on a steak sandwich. Here I am, spending the day with Ricky. I'm doing pretty well, huh?"
He felt the familiar tug of loyalty between job and home.
She smiled. "You're doing great."
He dislodged Ricky from the play land with an offer to play miniature golf. "How about coming along?" he asked
She shook her head. "I'm terrible at golf. Besides, I think this should be a father and son game."
"Are you sure?” Turning to Ricky, he asked, “You don’t mind if Miss Ashworth comes, do you?”
Ricky shook his head. "Nope."
"You two go ahead. I promised to make some brownies for tomorrow. I want to do it this afternoon."
Jonathon studied her with approval. "I'll look forward to tasting them. I'll come by to get you about nine, okay?"
"Okay."
After stealing a quick kiss as Ricky climbed into the car, he drove away. She watched, hoping with all her heart the time she and Jonathon spent together would bring them close. They would need every scattered moment they could steal to make up for all they had missed during the last ten years.
The next morning, she woke to bright sunlight streaming through the blinds. She stretched lazily and glanced at the clock. It was only eight o'clock. She had nothing to do during the next hour except eat breakfast and get dressed. After that, an entire lovely day stretched before her.
She rose and slipped into a swim suit which she covered with white shorts and a striped cotton blouse. She pulled her hair back into a sleek ponytail and curled her bangs. Adding a pair of daisy earrings and a light touch of make-up, she was ready for the day.
She poured a cup of coffee and opened her kitchen blinds to let sunlight spill across the table. As she sipped almond-flavored coffee, she wondered if Ricky and Jonathon had enjoyed a good afternoon. She was sure they had. It was great to see Jonathon spending time with his son.
At nine o'clock the doorbell rang. Grabbing her purse and the pan of brownies, she hurried to the door. She patted her purse. "I put some sunscreen in here so no one gets burned."
"Good. I'm glad you thought of it." There was a hint of worry in his eyes. She knew without asking that something was wrong. Before she could ask, he said, "I had to call Nina last night to tell her she didn't need to watch Ricky today. When I told her we were going on the boat, she wanted to come along. I couldn't tell her "no". Not with all the things she does for us like cooking and helping around the house."
Rachel's happiness faded like the sun that slipped behind a cloud, casting a shadow across the open doorway. Her high spirits evaporated.
Before she could respond, he said, "I know you two don't get along. I hope you'll put up with her just for today. Ricky is looking forward to having you come and so am I. It will ruin our day if you back out now."
She sighed. She disliked the thought of spending a day with Nina. Yet she’d already rescheduled her tutoring sessions. What would she do if she didn't go? Hang around the apartment and feel miserable? No. She might as well go and not let Nina ruin her day. She had been praying for a chance to touch Nina with Christian love. Maybe this was it.
When they reached the car, she noticed Ricky and his grandmother seated in the backseat. She smiled brightly as she slipped inside. "I haven't been water skiing in years. I hope I remember how."
"Dad's going to teach me now that I have my cast off."
Ricky examined his arm.
"If you're not careful you'll break it again," Nina predicted with a glower.
Jonathon slipped inside in time to hear her remark. "Nobody's going to break anything. I'm too good a teacher."
Towing the boat behind them, they sped toward the interstate and were soon on their way to the lake. Nina was quiet on the way there, speaking only to reprimand Ricky when his childish chatter got too noisy. After awhile, Rachel suggested they play the alphabet game, which thrilled Ricky when he was the first to find each letter and beat his tutor.
When they crossed the causeway, they began to see rivulets of water alongside the highway. They parked at the beach and took in a view of the ocean. Though she’d been there many times, the view always took away her breath.
Nina and Ricky walked along the shore while Rachel helped Jonathon unlatch the boat and launch it down the ramp. "Okay, so far with Nina?" he asked. His eyes were solicitous.
Smiling, she replied, "Fine, so far."
The boat had two seats in front and a deck with more seating in the back. After they put on life jackets, Jonathon said, "Since I'm going to have to drive, we'll let Rachel ski first. You watch her, Ricky, and see what to do."
She grimaced. "Poor kid. You expect him to learn this from me?"
"You'll do fine." He handed her the skis.
She took her position, clutching the rope while she waited for Jonathon to pull her away from shore. Starting slowly, she enjoyed the gentle breeze as the shore fell away and she was towed into the water. As they picked up speed, she was filled with exhilaration. It was like old times.
She fell once, but quickly recovered the skill she had once taken for granted. When it was Ricky's turn, she coached him from shore while Jonathon towed him into the water. After several tries, he managed to stay up. Excited by his efforts, they spent most of the morning teaching him to ski.
As the sun aligned itself overhead, Jonathon docked at the marina. "I'm hungry. How about lunch? There are some picnic tables and a restroom over there." He pointed to covered concrete tables which nestled near a small building.
"That sounds great," Rachel admitted. "I could use some lunch."
Nina emerged from the front of the boat and walked Ricky towards the bathrooms. As Jonathon strode to the car to get the picnic basket, Rachel slipped onto the boat, retrieved her shorts and shirt and slipped them on. Her swimsuit, dried from the air and sun, felt warm under her clothes.
They sat together, eating sandwiches and chips, and sipping soft drinks. Becoming more animated, Nina talked of trips to the beach when she was a child. She had been raised in a small town on the Gulf coast and had spent her childhood swimming and collecting sea shells.
Pausing she appraised Rachel. "You ski very well, dear. My Eva was never one for sports. She was so small and frail. Such a tiny thing. Yet, she had many other talents. She could play the piano beautifully. Do you remember, Jonathon?"
An uncomfortable silence fell on the group. Jonathon forced a smile. "I remember."
"I insisted she take lessons. Then I had to insist she practice. Children don't know what's best for them. You have to be firm. That's what works best." She fixed Rachel with a challenging smile.
Rachel nodded amicably. "Yes. I have many students who need encouragement to do their best. At first, they do it for my approval, and then, they learn to enjoy a sense of accomplishment."
Breaking the confrontation, Jonathon announced, "I don't know about you all, but I'm ready for brownies."
"M
e, too." Ricky reached to uncover the pan, upsetting his soda. Before they could right it, a small amount spilled into Nina's lap.
His eyes grew large. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He scooted away from her to the edge of the bench.
She dabbed with the napkins which were hurriedly presented and said, "I'll slip into the restroom and dampen these a bit. I don't want to be sticky."
She stopped beside Ricky and gave him a hug. "It's okay. You know Grandma doesn't get upset over things like this."
He watched her disappear toward the restroom. "I'm glad she wasn't mad."
Rachel noticed the stiffness of his slender shoulders.
As they served the brownies, she wondered if Nina's reaction would have been so gentle had she not had an audience. Despite Jonathon's assurance that she was the perfect grandma, she still didn't trust her with Ricky.
They spent the rest of the afternoon drifting lazily about the lake. Rachel joined Jonathon in the front while Nina sat with Ricky on the deck. When they had toured the lake and admired the home sites on the hills, Jonathon asked, "Do you want to ski anymore?"
She shook her head. "It was fun but I can already tell I'm going to be sore." She rubbed her calf muscle. "I better not make it any worse."
"If you do it often, you won't get sore each time."
"That sounds like an invitation to come again."
"It is.
"Can I ski again now?" Ricky asked.
Jonathon winked at her. "What do you think? Should we let him?"
She smiled at Ricky. "I think we should."
Despite Nina's warnings of doom, he managed to stay in his skis and was having fun when they quit a half-hour later. On the way home, Jonathon announced, "Ricky and I are going out for pizza. Would anyone else like to come along?"
Nina declined."I don't think I'd better. The brownies were so rich they gave me indigestion. What did you put in them, dear?"
Fighting the urge to prickle at the criticism, Rachel replied mildly, "Oh, the usual. Cocoa, sugar, butter..."
"They were rich and wonderful. Just the way I remember them," Jonathon said.
She gave him a grateful smile. "Thank you."
"If you two want to go out I'd be happy to watch Ricky. He's probably had enough excitement for one day and he could keep me company."
Ricky set up an immediate howl. "No. No. I don't want to stay with Grandma. I want to go for pizza."
Speaking calmly, Jonathon replied, "I've already said you're coming. We'll drop your grandmother off if she doesn't want to go."
Nina placed her arm around Ricky's shoulders. "It's okay, honey. I understand why you're upset. It's hard to share your daddy after losing your mother. I'm glad you miss her.”
Rachel glanced quickly to see Jonathon raise his brows in surprise. After a moment of recovery, he said, "No one's trying to make Ricky forget his mother. Still, she’s gone, Nina. Hating Rachel won't bring her back."
"I like Miss Ashworth," Ricky piped.
She turned to see Nina give him a withering look. "I don't hate Rachel. I simply think it's too soon to ask Ricky to adjust to a strange woman moving into his life."
"Ricky doesn't seem to have the problem," Jonathon replied tersely.
There was silence for a moment before Nina replied, "Fine, but if he gets sick tomorrow from being drug around all day and night, don't blame it on me."
The words sent a chill down Rachel's back. Squinting, she said tersely, "I would blame you. The last time you were angry with Jonathon and me, you gave Ricky something to make him sick. How could you do such a thing to a child?"
Nina's face turned red. Her eyes flashed."I did no such thing."
"Is that the threat you implied in this note?" She fished in her purse and withdrew the letter of warning.
Nina snatched the letter and perused it quickly. "I've never seen this before. You wrote it yourself to make me look bad. It was cruel to sign it from my daughter."
Her voice broke into a sob.
Ignoring her tears, Rachel said, "I didn't write it. You did. Then, you sent it as a warning. What will you have to do that you don't like? Make Ricky sick?"
"Tell them, Ricky. I didn't make you sick, did I?"
The child's dark, frightened eyes fled from face to face.
"Did I, Ricky?" Her voice was commanding.
"No," he whispered.
"Okay. This is out of hand," Jonathon broke in. "I don't know about the note, but there must be some explanation. Did you write it, Nina?"
"Of course not. It's completely morbid. And very cruel." She began to cry again.
"Well, then, let's forget it for now and talk about something else."
Jonathon's head ached dully from the discomfort of feeling caught in the middle. Surely things could not be as bad as Rachel suggested. Yet, what was the explanation?
Since no one felt like talking, they spent the remainder of the trip watching the scenery pass. After they dropped Nina at her small house, Ricky brightened. "Can we get pizza now? I'm hungry."
"Sure. We can get pizza." Jonathon cast a sideways glance at Rachel. "Would you come with us, please?"
She nodded distractedly, wanting a chance to speak to him privately. Sometime that evening, she intended to get it.
While they ate, Ricky animatedly described his feelings when he began to ski. "It was like flying. I was going so fast. And when I fell down, I went "splash" in the water."
He waved his arm to illustrate his fall. "When can we go again?"
"I don't know. I'll be out of town next weekend,” Jonathon said. “Maybe the weekend after that."
He turned to Rachel. "Next time, I'll teach you to drive the boat and we can take turns skiing."
"Ah hah. Now I see your real intent. You need me so that you can ski." For Ricky's sake she subdued her temptation to object to his announcement that he was going out of town. He was gone too much to know what kind of care Nina took of Ricky.
He fixed her with a tender look. "I need you for more than driving my boat."
Touched by his response, she ran her hand along his face.
Ricky chatted happily on the way home. When they reached her apartment, he sat in the backseat playing with a game while Jonathon walked Rachel to her door. Now was her chance to show him the note.
"It does look like her handwriting and it is bizarre. Still, I think she's just a lonely old woman who misses her daughter. I'm sorry she spoiled the ride home."
She met his dark eyes squarely. "I wish you weren't going out of town. I don't think you should be leaving Ricky with her. Can't you find someone else to watch him?"
He sighed. "Ricky's all she has left. It would kill her to have him ripped away. And on what evidence? One goofy note and the far chance that she may have given him something to upset his stomach?”
"You sound like a lawyer."
"I am." Smiling, he brushed a loose strand of hair from her cheek. "I think you're worrying too much."
"Maybe. But what if I'm not. Can't you find someone else to watch him, just for awhile?"
"Who? You?"
"I have to work."
"So do I. I don't have time to look for sitters. It'll be okay, you'll see." He kissed her lightly on the lips.
"I hope so," she whispered as he turned to walk back to his car. For Ricky's sake, she wanted to believe everything was okay. Yet, in her heart, she did not.
CHAPTER SEVEN