…
Mari stayed next to Cam as they entered through the gates of Dunardry after dark. She’d learned so much that day. Not only how to defend herself, but how to let go of the fear that weighed her down.
Cameron had been careful to explain that she was not invincible just because she carried a wee dirk on her waist. But if she was prepared, she’d have a chance to protect herself if the opportunity arose. She understood what he was saying. No one was safe against an enemy. Not even a war chief with a large sword and a broad back. She shook that thought away to concentrate on the other thing she’d learned.
That she was able to move on to a physical relationship with her husband without being haunted by what happened. She’d not waste a moment thinking of them again. Not when she had a hearty husband to hold her.
The way he touched her was so different from any other man, she couldn’t mistake him for an attacker. There was nothing similar that called up the terror of that night, or her horrible marriage. He claimed her, but only because she allowed it. Those other men were nothing but brutes. Not worth a thought. She’d not let them take anything from her. Especially not her peace of mind.
When she and Cam got back to the castle, everyone was bustling around and chattering despite the late hour. Something important had happened.
It was then that Mari heard a loud scream and realized the important thing was still happening.
“Kenna!” she shouted and shot off toward the stairs, followed closely by Cam.
She found Lachlan pacing outside their room, his face pale and his hair mussed from tugging it. The little dog, Brutus, kept up at his side despite his short legs.
“I thought it would be easier this time,” he said, his expression stricken. “I know what to expect—the screaming and yelling. But it’s surely no easier this time than it was with the twins.” His eyes went wide and he stopped in his tracks. “Dear God. What if it’s twins again?”
“Let’s get ye some whisky,” Cam suggested as he rested an arm on Lachlan’s shoulder.
“Nay. I can’t leave. I must stay in case she needs me.”
“I’ll go check on her and let you know how she fares,” Mari offered, and slid through the door into the chaos.
Kenna’s hair was damp, and sweat ran down her face as she sucked in quick breaths.
“Mari, thank God.” Kenna winced but reached for her to come closer.
Mari took her hand and gasped from the intensity with which her younger sister squeezed her fingers. She decided not to complain since it seemed petty in light of what Kenna was enduring.
Had Mari really thought she wanted this? Pain had been such a constant part of her life for so long—something to be avoided. But this was different. This was pain and joy mixed in a way that gave Kenna the strength of a warrior.
“You’re doing so well,” Mari assured, though her face must have betrayed her concern because Kenna gave a strained bark of laughter.
“How many women have you seen birth a babe, sister?”
“Admittedly none, but I have to say you’re doing it wonderfully because that’s how you do everything.”
Another laugh.
At least Mari was keeping her sister entertained in her time of what was clearly excruciating pain. Mari couldn’t believe her sister was even capable of laughter.
But then Mari remembered the sheer insanity that took over a person when pain reached that unbearable state. When one became lost to it and couldn’t care or focus on anything.
Kenna screamed through another pain, then slumped against the bed. “Poor Lachlan. I know he hates to hear my cries, but it’s beyond me to hold them in.”
“He looked rather pale when I arrived,” Mari admitted. She thought of what Cam had told her about being at his side. How it made them both stronger. “I wonder that it wouldn’t be better for him to be in here with you offering his strength. Surely he would feel relieved to know what is happening. From out there, he’s sure to think the worst.”
Kenna blew out a sound of agreement. “The man is banished for some reason that makes no sense to me. I surely didn’t get this way on my own. Why should I have to bear it by myself?”
Mari stood and went to the door. She wasn’t able to help her sister with her pain, but she could do something about this nonsense at least.
As soon as she opened the chamber door, four men spun to face her expectantly.
“Is the babe here? I didn’t hear crying. What’s wrong?” It seemed Lachlan’s legs wouldn’t hold him.
“No. The child hasn’t been born yet, but you have bigger hands than I do, and you can allow Kenna to squeeze them without damage. Come in.”
Lachlan blinked twice in surprise before rushing into the room.
“What are you doing?” Abagail scolded. “You can’t allow a man in the birthing room.”
“He’s not a man, he’s the father. Besides, it’s his room. It’s his wife. It’s his child. Why can’t he be here? He’s seen men mangled on the battlefield. This can’t be nearly as bad as that.”
Lachlan gave her a grave stare. “It’s far worse, I assure you.”
Mari swallowed and nodded. She understood. It was different because this was the person he loved above all others, and Kenna was in a dangerous position while he could do nothing to assist except hold her hand.
“Still,” Mari pressed on. “I believe your place is here beside your wife, to encourage her. It has to be better than waiting out there.”
“Kenna, do you want me to go?” he asked, because the decision was hers.
She shook her head, her wet hair curling up at her temple. “Stay, please.”
“Of course. I just wish I could do something,” he said, kissing her head. “I’m in awe of you, wife.”
Mari went to get a fresh cloth and gave it to Lachlan, instructing him to use it to wipe Kenna’s brow.
Kenna spared a small smile and then groaned with pain. Lachlan’s face went even paler—if that were possible. Perhaps that was the true reason men weren’t permitted into the birthing room. For all their physical fortitude, muscles didn’t make them strong enough for such things as birthing babes.
Mari pushed him onto a stool facing the head of the bed and Kenna, so he wouldn’t see what was happening below. Mari had gotten a peek of that and didn’t think she’d ever recover. No good would come of shocking Lachlan. He was distraught enough.
His hand surrounded Kenna’s, only her white knuckles were visible between his strong fingers. He whispered encouragements as Kenna panted through the next pain.
“Do ye hate me?” he asked Kenna when it had subsided.
She shook her head. “Not as much anymore— Oh!”
Another pain came on quickly, and Abagail—still frowning at having a man in her domain—nodded. “It’s time.”
Kenna let her head fall back and nodded as if understanding the vague instructions from the healer. This time she pushed, and Lachlan moved to her side, supporting her and talking her through it with soft words only for her. Mari felt a twinge of jealousy at the intimacy of the moment.
When she looked down to see a dark head protruding, the moment of jealousy subsided.
“Again,” Abagail demanded.
Mari lost track of time, and the number of times Kenna pushed, but eventually the child—another boy—was free from his mother and wailing up a storm.
Abagail wiped him briefly and wrapped the babe in a linen as if she’d done such a thing hundreds of times. Then she dropped the child in Mari’s arms while she attended to Kenna.
“Hello, nephew. What a weighty lad you are,” Mari cooed while carefully taking him to his waiting parents. “A big, beautiful boy.”
Kenna nodded that Lachlan should take him. Mari saw him brush a large hand over both cheeks before reaching out to take his son. He smiled and laughed
and cried a bit more as he looked at him.
“He’s a strapping lad, love. You did so well.” He brought the child close. “This is your mother. You’ve worn her out, so go easy on your fussing.”
The babe stopped crying as if obeying his father’s command.
Lachlan glanced over at Abagail. “’Tis just the one, aye?”
“Look at the size of him! Surely there’s no more room,” Kenna said with an indulgent smile. “He needs a name.”
“Aye. A big boy will likely be a big man someday. Like Cam, I hope he also has a big heart. What do you say to naming him Cameron?”
Kenna smiled and nodded. “Yes, that is a fine name. Don’t you think so, sister?”
“Yes. It’s lovely, indeed.” Happiness filled her heart, but a small shadow cast darkness across the moment. This new child was yet another tie to this place.
Someone else she’d have to leave if—when—danger followed her to her new home.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Just because the father is no longer out here doesn’t mean they can just forget about us,” Bryce complained as Cam made another path across the stones. He could almost feel the floor wearing away beneath his feet. Even the dog had given up and lay in the corner fast asleep.
“Aye,” Cam agreed, knowing the parents were busy with more important things than informing the men left out in the corridor what was going on.
Just then the door opened, and Mari stepped out carrying a bundle. Her eyes were wet with tears, but a smile stretched her beautiful face. “All is well. It’s a boy. Cameron Lachlan MacKinlay.”
She gazed down at the child adoringly as Cam came closer to see him.
“Cameron? They named the babe after me?” He couldn’t describe the pride and surprise at this news.
“Yes. You see, he’s rather large.” She shifted the babe’s weight and held him out so Cam could hold him. The child was large, but in his arms the bairn felt tiny.
He laughed. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, wee Cameron.” The babe made a sound, not an unhappy one at first, but soon the lad was voicing his displeasure in a loud cry.
“Let’s get you back to your mother and father.” Mari took the babe and slipped back into the room. She was back a few moments later, and they shared a smile.
Cam reached for her. “What ye did for Lach was appreciated. How did he fare?”
“Very well. No swooning. Though for a moment it was a near thing.”
“Let’s get you something to eat before you swoon,” he said, leading her toward the stairs.
“I don’t even know what time it is.”
“Late afternoon,” he answered, just as her stomach growled. She hadn’t eaten since the day before. “Once you’re fed, we’ll lie down for a bit. You must be exhausted.”
She nodded. “I am tired. The excitement kept me from realizing it. But now…” She yawned.
He understood. Being in battle was similar. The rush of action kept him from realizing how tired his body was. Once the danger abated, though, fatigue set in.
His fearless warrior had stood by her sister all night, and now it was his turn to care for her.
“You did well. Now you need your rest.”
They had a quick meal of bannocks and ale, then he led her upstairs, steadying her on the steps when she stumbled. He helped her disrobe and did the same before tucking them both into bed for a few hours of much-needed sleep.
“It was an amazing thing to be part of,” she said quietly.
“I find it terrifying,” he said, causing her to laugh. The smile fell from his lips as he looked past that initial feeling. It was true he didn’t want to be the one waiting outside the door listening to Mari scream as she brought their child into the world.
But it was the thought of their child that made the fear seem almost acceptable.
He’d never considered wanting children. In fact, he’d made it his goal not to become a father. It wasn’t fair. He’d grown up without his parents, and he didn’t want to leave a child without a father. Still, a selfish part of him wanted to hold his own babe in his arms and rock him or her to sleep. A hefty lad, or an angel of a lass who looked like her mother.
“But I do hope our union is blessed with a child,” he confessed, unable to keep the thought to himself. He wanted to see her expression and hoped she would want it as much as he, even though they’d not spoken of children before.
She turned to face him, and his heart dropped. She twisted her fingers nervously in the blanket. Of course she’d be worried.
After witnessing the birth of wee Cameron, it was no wonder she’d not want to consider such a thing right now. Especially not with a man of his size, who was more likely to sire large bairns.
When she finally spoke, he realized she had a different fear.
“You don’t worry having a family would make things more difficult if Ridley returns?”
“I’m not worried about Ridley. He’ll never take ye from me.” He pulled her into his arms to comfort her. Or possibly himself.
She nodded unconvincingly against his shoulder and closed her eyes.
It was clear she didn’t believe him. The thought that Ridley might come to MacKinlay lands demanding she be returned for trial was a distinct possibility, but he’d not let her face execution in a city he’d never been to by people that weren’t their kin.
She hadn’t voiced her fears in some time. He should have known she’d not forgotten or dismissed the danger lurking from her past. But it had been far easier to be happy and ignore it for as long as they could.
“We have time. It’s not something we need to decide today,” he said.
He’d promised to keep her safe, and he would die upholding that vow. But waiting around for the English to come back was a mistake. He needed to do something now to protect her.
He would speak to Lach about finding a way to clear her name. Cam knew the laws would not be in her favor, but surely there was someone smarter than he who could find a way. Then they would be free to look forward to a future, possibly with children of their own.
Cam drifted off, thinking of such things, and woke still thinking about them.
It was dark. Letting Mari sleep, he slipped out of her warm embrace and dressed. In the hall he found Lach in a chair holding a sleeping twin in each arm. He’d heard the new babe crying and assumed Lach had brought the boys down so they wouldn’t be disturbed by their new brother.
“Can I unburden half your load?” Cam offered, and Lach passed over one of the lads. “Roddy?”
Lach nodded. “You’re getting better at telling them apart.”
“It’s more difficult when they’re asleep.”
“Aye. When they’re awake, their personalities tell you which is which. But in sleep their features even out, and I canna see how they think about things.”
Cam nodded in agreement and studied the sleeping boy on his lap. “Roddy is a bit thinner for he runs around more than his brother, who is more cautious.”
Lach smiled. “Aye.”
“Thank you for the honor of naming the new child after me.”
Lachlan placed a kiss on Douglas’s head. “I hope he grows to be a strong man like you, with a good heart.” He let out a sigh and rested his head back on the chair. “A man who can help me puzzle out how to salvage an alliance with the McCurdy now that I have no chief able to marry his daughter.”
“You haven’t given up on the alliance?”
“Nay. Having another son makes me even more determined. Our clan is growing. I need to find ways to provide for them. Access to the sea opens up a variety of ways to earn a better living.”
“I hate to earn your ire again, but I’ll remind you, you had no chief willing to marry the McCurdy lass in the first place, so as I see it, you’re no worse off today than you were before.”
/> “And you think I would have allowed ye to shirk your duty had you shown up that day with your cart full of rocks? Penance paid, all forgotten and forgiven? Nay.”
“Can we not find another warrior to marry the lass?” Cam suggested.
Lach looked at him and tilted his head. “You know who would be next in line. Do you think he’d be more willing than you were?”
Lachlan spoke of their other cousin, Bryce. They both knew he would do far more than dig up rocks to get out of marrying again. Years ago he’d been wed, then he and his Maggie had a daughter. But both lasses had died of illness when Bryce was away on a raid. Bryce had lost his heart and since then had refused to wed again. He rarely spoke of bedding another lass, and Cam had never seen him with anyone. It was something he didn’t speak of. Ever.
Once again, Cam was reminded of what he had to lose.
“I’ll make sure the men are ready. Whenever you give the word, we’ll take their clan by force and you’ll have your access to the sea.”
“We have time,” Lach said, resisting the need for war as always.
Cam knew well enough the laird wasn’t a coward. He’d gone off to fight for the French for years. Lach’s blade had certainly drawn more blood than Cam’s. But he didn’t want to take the clan from the McCurdy laird, despite the man running it into the dirt with lack of food and funds.
“Why do you not consider it?” Cam asked.
Lach looked up and blinked. “I have considered it. Many times. It’s simply too great a risk.” He brushed a lock of hair from his son’s forehead and smiled sadly.
Cam frowned. It wasn’t an issue of respect, but of caution.
“You may be war chief,” Lach said, seeing his reaction, “but you’re not the only one in danger of not returning if an attempt to bring down the McCurdy fails. When I was in France, I didn’t think too often of my death, but I find that now I want to be here to see these boys grow into good men. I want to love my wife until her hair turns white. I want those things more than fulfilling my father’s legacy. And I have to think if my da was here, he would want them more as well.”
Her Accidental Highlander Husband (MacKinlay Clan) Page 15