by Carrie Carr
Lex put on her jacket and took Lorrie's from its hook. "Don't act like I'm throwing you in front of a firing squad, Lorrie. I just thought you'd like to get out of the house for a little while."
"Yeah, sure." Lorrie handed Eddie to Amanda. She slipped her jacket on and zipped it. "Bye." With her head down, she left the house before Lex.
Amanda whispered to her wife, so that she wouldn't be overheard. "Good luck."
Lex shook her head. "Thanks a lot. Next time, you get to do the heart-to-heart."
Amanda grinned and waved Eddie's hand at her. "Bye, Momma. Have fun."
Grumbling under her breath, Lex stepped onto the porch and closed the door behind her. "Smartass."
She watched Lorrie kick snow along the walk to the gate. The temperature was supposed to stay above freezing in the coming days, for which Lex was grateful. The snow was already melting on the roads, but the fields were still a mess and she didn't envy Roy's task of feeding the herd. She moved quickly to catch up. "Hold on."
Lorrie opened the gate. "Where's Freckles?"
"Probably with your sister at Martha's. They both enjoy the goodies there."
"I guess so." Lorrie moved ahead. She was in such a hurry to get away from Lex, she didn't notice an icy patch and started to fall.
Lex caught her by the back of her jacket and kept her upright. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Red-faced, Lorrie straightened her coat and went into the barn. Once inside, she stopped at the stall of her horse, Mine. "Hey."
The mare nickered and stretched her nose across the top of the stall, receiving the expected scratch. She butted Lorrie's hand, bringing a smile to the girl's face.
Lex removed her jacket and dropped it on a bale of hay. "I think she's missed you."
Lorrie turned and bit off a smart aleck remark. "Yeah, school's been kinda tough, lately."
"A lot of things have, haven't they?" Lex stood beside Lorrie. She placed a cautious hand on Lorrie's arm, silently relieved when it wasn't brushed away. "You know you can always come to us when you have a problem, right?"
"Yeah."
Lex cleared her throat. "About earlier. Up in your room." She blew out a heavy breath. "Do you understand why I got upset?"
Lorrie shrugged. "I guess."
"Lorrie, look at me." Once she had her daughter's full attention, Lex moved her hand away. "What you said about the funeral was very disrespectful. If you don't want to go because it upsets you, fine. But not wanting to go because you think you'll be bored..." Lex stopped in order to get her anger under control. "That's not only rude, it's bullshit."
"But, I didn't mean--"
"No!" Lex lowered her voice. "Don't try that with me. Take responsibility for what you said."
Lorrie stepped away from the stall. With her hands in the pockets of her jacket, she looked like a frightened little girl, not the surly youth she had been earlier. "All right. I didn't really mean it. I'm sorry, Momma. I'll go."
Her face fell and her lower lip trembled. "I don't know why I said that. Do you hate me?"
Lex moved quickly, and soon held Lorrie in her arms. "No, sweetheart. I could never hate you. I may be upset at times, but only with your behavior. Never with you."
THE SMALL KITCHEN at Martha and Charlie's cottage was a beehive of activity. Charlie individually wrapped breakfast burritos in parchment as Martha supervised the filling being prepared by their granddaughter.
Martha praised the girl. "Perfect, Melanie. You're going to be a wonderful cook."
"I'm really good." Melanie accidentally dropped a spoonful of the egg and bacon mixture on the floor. "Oops."
She giggled when Freckles immediately lapped up the mess. "Good dog."
Charlie laughed at his wife's expression. "Sure beats using a broom, doesn't it?"
"Don't encourage them." Martha gestured toward the sheet cake carrier that her husband had filled with the food. "Do you think that will be enough?"
"Honey, we're not feeding the entire state. Just any folks that stop by Anna Leigh's."
Melanie stopped what she was doing. "We're going to Gramma's? Is she having a party?"
Martha took the bowl from her and placed it in the sink. "No, sweetie. It's not a party. But a lot of folks will probably stop by to see her today."
"Oh." Melanie hopped off the chair she had been standing on. "Because Grandpa died?"
"That's right." After she ran water into the bowl, Martha started washing the dishes in the sink as Melanie peeped around her.
"How come you don't have a dishwasher like we do? Mommy says it works better than Momma." Melanie dropped her serving spoon into the water.
Martha laughed. "Because Pawpaw and I don't dirty up enough dishes to make it worthwhile."
Melanie frowned as she noticed all the pots and bowls by the sink. "This is more than we have when Mommy makes breakfast."
"I'm betting she doesn't make as much as we did this morning, does she?" Martha handed a wet bowl to Charlie, who dried it with a dishtowel.
"No. But Momma can make a mess. Last week, she was busy with Eddie and my oatmeal bubbled over and got all in the microwave. We was trying to let Mommy sleep late "˜cause she had a tummy ache." Melanie got a case of the giggles, remembering the mess. "But she heard Momma's cussin' and came downstairs anyhow."
Charlie almost dropped the bowl he was drying as he laughed. "Was your momma in trouble?"
"Uh huh. They was so busy talkin' about the mess that they didn't see Eddie smear his applesauce in his hair. It stuck straight up and looked like boogers."
"Good lord." Martha laughed so hard she had to hold onto the counter to keep from falling.
Chapter Five
"ARE YOU SURE you don't mind?" Amanda asked, for the third time in as many minutes.
Helen rested Eddie on her hip and kissed his cheek. "Are you kidding? I love any excuse to play with this guy."
He giggled as she gave him butterfly kisses. "Isn't that right?"
"Go!"
"Okay, okay." Amanda allowed Lex to help her into her coat. "I don't blame the kids for wanting to stay home." She turned and smiled at her wife. "Thanks."
"Anytime." Lex draped her own coat on her arm. "I guess I'll have to pay Shelby and Roy double for spending the day with the girls. Although why Mel has decided she wants to become a cowgirl is beyond me. Last week, she was going to be a princess."
"Why can't she be both?" Helen laughed at the look on Lex's face. "Oh, come on, Lex. She could be a rodeo queen."
"Lord, help me." Lex turned to Amanda. "We should pick up Charlie and Martha and head on into town, sweetheart."
Amanda opened the back door. "Thanks again, Helen. We'll call you if we're going to be too late."
"Don't worry about a thing, hon. You just take care of yourself, and your grandmother." She squeezed Amanda's arm. "And let me know if you need anything else."
Unable to answer due to the lump that had grown in her throat, Amanda could only nod before she headed down the steps. Lex watched her until she got into the passenger's side of the Expedition, then turned to Helen. "We really do appreciate your help."
She kissed Eddie's fingers as they came close to her face. "Be good for Aunt Helen."
"Good." Eddie waved his fingers and giggled.
"Why don't I believe you?" Lex asked as she tickled his belly. "His newest thing is trying to ride poor Freckles like a horse, which is why she's hiding upstairs. Anyway, give me a call on my cell if you need anything."
"We'll be fine. Give my best to Mrs. Cauble. I can't even begin to imagine what she's going through."
"I will, thanks."
WITH THE ROADS relatively clear, it didn't take long to make the trip into Somerville. The silence inside the large SUV was oppressive. Lex took her eyes from the road long enough to glance at her wife, who had a slight frown on her face. "Dollar for your thoughts?"
Amanda blinked and shook her head. She stared into her lap at the tissue she had shredded. "Not worth it."
/> "Of course they are." Lex checked the rear-view mirror, satisfied that Martha and Charlie were busy with their own conversation. She held out her hand until Amanda grasped it. "As the mother of my children and the head of our household, you're worth everything to me."
She brought their hands up and kissed Amanda's knuckles. "And as the love of my life, your worth is beyond value."
The small laugh she received caused her to smile.
"Head of the house, huh?"
"Yep." Pleased with herself, Lex returned her attention to the road, but kept her hold on Amanda's hand.
Amanda looked at the strong hand that held hers. It was covered in a sprinkling of scars, attesting to the hard work that Lex had done her entire life. But to Amanda, beauty laid in those nicks that dotted the tan surface. She rubbed her thumb across the back of Lex's hand. "You're something else, you know that?"
"So I've been told." Lex glanced in the mirror as Martha let out an unladylike snort. "No comments from the back."
"I wouldn't dream of it." Martha pointed her finger. "Don't you be giving me that look, Lexie."
"What look?"
Martha leaned forward and lightly thumped the back of her head. "You know exactly what look."
"Ow!"
Charlie wisely kept silent, except for the light snicker that escaped. When his wife glared at him, he shrugged and turned to look out the window.
There was little traffic on the streets as they drove through Somerville, as most people were enjoying sleeping in after the holiday. Lex parked behind Anna Leigh's Cadillac and turned off the engine. She released her grip on the steering wheel and flexed her fingers.
Charlie and Martha gathered their things and got out. They clung to one another as they navigated the cleared walk toward the house.
Lex made it around the SUV and stood at Amanda's door. Her wife hadn't moved, so she opened the door. "Amanda?"
Amanda shook her head and continued to stare directly ahead.
"Sweetheart." Lex removed her gloves and touched Amanda's arm. "We need to get inside."
Amanda jerked her arm away and hugged herself. "I can't."
At a loss, Lex stood by silently. She tucked her gloves into the pocket of her slacks. "All right. Would you like me to take you home?"
"I don't know." Amanda lowered her face and covered it with her hands.
"Lexie? Are y'all coming?" Martha asked from the front porch.
Not taking her eyes from Amanda, Lex waved. "Go on without us."
She didn't know if they heard her, and didn't care. All of her thoughts were on the woman inside the SUV. She gentled her voice. "Amanda."
When she didn't get an answer, she carefully closed the door and returned to the other side. She pulled out her gloves and tossed them on the dash. She watched her wife for a clue as to what to say.
Amanda turned when Lex sat inside and closed the door. "I'm sorry."
"Hey." Lex held out her hand and relaxed when Amanda gripped it. "Talk to me, sweetheart."
Holding their linked hands to her chest, Amanda closed her eyes. "I don't think I can go in there."
"All right. What would you like to do?"
Amanda raised her head and looked at her. "Just like that?"
"Yep."
They were quiet for a minute, until Amanda sighed. "I love Gramma."
Lex gave a small nod, but kept silent.
"But I don't think I can go into that house. It seems empty and sad, and I don't know if I can face that." She lowered her head again. "Or her."
Lex glared at the console between them before making her decision. She was soon out of the vehicle and around to Amanda's side, opening the door. She released her wife's seat belt and pulled her gently into her arms. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."
She lightly stroked her hair and continued to murmur simple words of love.
Amanda cried harder as she clung to Lex. The knowledge that she'd never see her grandfather again hit her all at once, pushing through the careful barriers she had constructed to make it through the previous day.
It took a while, but Amanda was finally able to get herself under control. She took the handkerchief Lex gave her and wiped her face. "Thanks."
Lex brushed her fingertips along Amanda's cheek. "Wish I could do more."
"You are." Amanda cleared her throat and kissed Lex's chin. "I think I can go in, now."
"Are you sure? Because I'll do whatever you want, take you wherever you want to go."
Amanda smiled and patted her on the chest. "I'll be okay. But I wouldn't complain if you stayed close today."
"You got it."
Lex held the door open for her and kept a firm grip on her hand.
BY NOON, AMANDA wanted to find a place to hide. The good intentions of the people of Somerville were making her nerves raw. She had tried to protect her grandmother from the onslaught by having Lex take her upstairs, only to be cornered in the kitchen by a bevy of women from the Ladies Auxiliary.
"Amanda, dear. We think it's wonderful, how you're here for Anna Leigh," one of the women prattled in a loud whisper. The seventy-eight year old's horribly dyed, coal-black hair looked comical against her pale, wrinkled face. "I was just telling Nena this morning how lucky Anna was, having such a good family."
The well-meaning women landed on Amanda's last nerve. "Thank you, Mrs. Russell. If you'll excuse me, I need to--"
"Maude said that you're pregnant again. Is that true?" Mrs. Russell asked.
"What? No!" Amanda couldn't understand where they got their ideas. "Do I look pregnant?"
She bit her tongue to keep from going off on them. "I need to go check on my grandmother, ladies. Excuse me. Thank you all for coming."
Amanda pushed by them.
As she rushed from the kitchen, she muttered, "Snow and ice on the roads, and yet they still come in droves." She was so intent on her escape that she almost bowled down her sister.
"Hey, watch out." Jeannie stopped Amanda in the hall. "Where are you headed in such a hurry?"
"Anywhere but in there. Nosy old biddies."
Jeannie made a face and tried not to laugh. "Ouch. Cornered you, did they?"
"Yeah." Amanda brushed her hair away from her eyes. "Do you think we'd get into too much trouble if we just started kicking people out?"
"It's tempting, isn't it?" Jeannie locked arms with her sister and turned away from the kitchen. "Have you seen Gramma?"
Amanda led her toward the stairs. "I asked Lex to take her upstairs about fifteen minutes ago. Let's go check on her."
"Good idea."
As they ascended the steps, Jeannie spoke. "When I saw you coming out of the kitchen alone, I wondered what could separate you two. You looked joined at the hip this morning."
Before her sister could say anything, she hurriedly continued. "That's not a bad thing, Mandy. I'm glad you have her to watch out for you."
"Thanks."
Jeannie sighed. "You're really lucky, you know. We hadn't been here half an hour, before Rodney took off to the clinic."
They stopped at the top of the landing. "It's so much quieter up here," she added.
"Yeah." Amanda took a deep breath and released it slowly. She turned to her sister. "Do I look pregnant to you?"
"What?"
Amanda shook her head. "Never mind."
"No, wait." Jeannie grabbed her arm. "What are you talking about? You aren't, are you?"
"Of course not! Good grief, do I look insane to you?"
Jeannie laughed. "No kidding. But seriously, why did you ask me that?"
"One of the women in the kitchen said something, that's all."
"Oh. Well, no. You don't look pregnant." Jeannie pulled at Amanda's blouse, which fit snugly against her slender form. "Where would you put a baby, anyway? In your shoe?"
Down the hall, Lex stepped out of one of the rooms and closed the door behind her. "What are y'all doing?"
The sisters looked at one another and then back to Lex. Jeannie was the first t
o find her voice. "We were just talking about you knocking up Mandy, again."
Lex stumbled as she walked toward them. She braced her hand against the wall and leaned into it. "Excuse me?"
When her wife hurried to her aid, Lex straightened and put her arm around Amanda's shoulder. "Is there something you forgot to tell me?"
"No, my sister is just being her usual, bratty self." Amanda lightly patted Lex's stomach. "How's Gramma?"
"Finally resting. I was able to talk her into taking one of the sedatives her doctor prescribed."
Jeannie joined them. "How did you manage to do that? Daddy fought with her for hours about it."
"I just asked her if she thought getting some rest would be a good idea."
Amanda shook her head. "That's it?"
"Well, I may have mentioned how stressed you were, and that if she were upstairs resting, I could probably talk you into doing the same."
"Very sneaky." Jeannie turned to Amanda. "Why don't y'all relax in the back guest room, and I'll get Martha and Lois help me clear this place out. These people are just sitting around gossiping, anyway."
Lex cleared her throat. "How "˜bout it, sweetheart? Wanna stretch out with me for a bit?"
"That sounds great." Amanda tugged on Lex's belt loop and led her down the hall.
THE RANCH HOUSE was quiet that evening, as the tired family went to bed earlier than usual. The girls picked up on their parent's melancholy and were quiet throughout dinner. Once they were excused, they went upstairs and spent the rest of the evening in their rooms.
Not long after midnight, a high-pitched wail startled Lex out of a sound sleep. She quickly sat up and glanced at Amanda, who rolled and opened her eyes. "Did you hear--"
"Momma!" Melanie ran into their bedroom and darted onto the bed. She climbed into Lex's arms. "Lorrie screamed and scared me!"
Amanda quickly flipped the covers away and stood. "I'll go check on her."
"See? Lorrie's gonna be fine." Lex held the frightened little girl close and kissed the side of her head.
"Can I stay in here with you? Please?"
Lex turned and placed Melanie in the middle of the bed and covered her. "Yep."