by Carrie Carr
Lorrie scowled and brushed her hand through her hair to straighten it. She started up the stairs, not bothering to answer Kyle.
"Aunt Jeannie, where's Hunter?" asked Melanie. Hunter Laurence Crews, her cousin, was eleven months old and Melanie was totally enamored with him.
"He's at the church daycare. I was afraid of bringing him today, with all the commotion." Jeannie returned Mel's hug. "Let's go see if
Gramma has anything good to drink. I think I saw some grape juice in her refrigerator." "Yum, grape juice!" "Good luck," Jeannie mouthed to Amanda and followed Melanie into the kitchen.
With the gait of a doomed woman, Amanda walked up the stairs. She found Lorrie in the nearest guest room, which had been completely emptied of furniture except for a queen-sized mattress and box springs.
Lorrie stood at the window and stared at the cars below. "Why are they taking Gramma's furniture?"
Amanda sat on the bed. "She's decided to give the house to Jeannie and Rodney, and buy a smaller place for herself. Since she doesn't need the extra furniture, Gramma has decided to donate it to the high school band for their rummage sale."
"But why does she want to move? I like visiting her here."
Amanda patted the spot beside her. She put her arm on Lorrie's shoulders once she sat down. "I don't think she feels she can take care of the house all by herself. And you can still visit, since your Aunt Jeannie and Uncle Rodney will be here."
"Not really," Lorrie mumbled.
"What's that, honey?"
Lorrie stood and moved away from Amanda. "They're not my aunt and uncle. You're my aunt! And Rodney's my--" Her face scrunched up as her mind worked. "Step-dad. We're studying genealogy in class this week. Do you know how hard it is to figure everything out?"
"I know it's a little more complicated than only having a mother and father, like a lot of kids in school. But we've discussed this. A lot."
"Taylor's dad was a baseball star in college. She has a lot of pictures of him playing ball. And Jessie's dad was in the Army, and she brought his uniform shirt to show." Tears formed in Lorrie's eyes. "I don't have anything from my dad! I don't know that much about him, and I don't have any memories of him. It's not fair!"
Amanda got up and stepped toward her. "I know it's not, honey. Believe me, if we could change things, we would." Just seeing Lorrie's tears caused Amanda's eyes to well up. "Your father was a wonderful man that we all loved very much. We've shown you pictures and told you about him."
"But I don't know him, M--" Lorrie stopped. "I don't know if he had a deep voice or an accent, or what his favorite color was. Or if he liked the things that I like." Her hands clenched and she slammed her fists on her thighs. "This sucks!"
"Sweetie, it's all right." Amanda tried to embrace Lorrie, only to be pushed away. "I'm sure Jeannie has some things that you could show at school. We could ask her."
Lorrie swung her arms and kicked at the air, totally out of control. "Why don't I have a dad? Damn it!"
Having stood outside listening as long as she could, Lex hurried in and wrapped her arms around Lorrie. "Calm down, sweetheart."
"No! I won't!" Lorrie struggled to break free. She continued to kick, some of her shots landing against Lex's legs. She was openly crying, her words coming between huge sobs. "You...can't...make...me."
Lex refused to let go, holding on tighter. "It's going to be okay."
"Noooo!" Lorrie collapsed to the floor, bringing Lex down with her. Amanda dropped beside them and held on as well. "Every...thing is...chang...ging," Lorrie sobbed. "P...pl...please," she begged. "M...make it stop."
Amanda looked over Lorrie's head, to see a similar sadness in her wife's eyes. "We'll get through this together. I promise you." Her words were directed toward their daughter, but her eyes never left Lex's.
After Lorrie stopped crying, she wiped her eyes with the handkerchief Lex handed her. She looked into the sad eyes of the woman whom she had adored forever. "I'm sorry about what I said at the ice cream place."
"I know, sweetheart." Lex touched her cheek. "Did someone give you a hard time at school? About your family?"
Lorrie nodded.
Amanda rubbed her back. "Who was it? I'd like to have a talk with them."
"Just some of the kids. Mrs. Moore took care of it."
Lorrie sat cross-legged between them and rested her chin on her upraised hand. "I want to know more about my dad." She lowered her voice. "And my real mom."
At the pained look on Lex's face, Amanda touched her wife's back. "Honey, you're always welcome to learn about the rest of your family."
"I am?"
"Of--" Lex had to clear her throat. "Of course." She pasted a grin on her face. "We've got a very unusual family, but a good one."
Lorrie looked up. "But, you're not related to me, right? Not really my mom." She seemed very sad about the prospect.
"Excuse me for saying this," Amanda growled, "but that's bullshit."
Lex was startled by the venom in her wife's voice. "Amanda."
Amanda put her hand under Lorrie's chin and forced the girl to look into her eyes. "To begin with, when we adopted you, we both signed enough paperwork and legal forms to fill this room. That means that as far as the law is concerned we are your parents. Period."
She gentled her tone. "And we're your parents by choice, Lorraine Marie Walters. And we're not going anywhere."
Shaking her head, Lorrie said, "You can't promise that. Things happen and people die."
Lex finally found her voice. "That's true. But while we're here, we'll always love you." She put an arm around Lorrie and hugged her close. "And that's a promise we can keep."
Chapter Eighteen
THE CHILDREN HAD been in bed for hours, yet Lex couldn't bring herself to go back upstairs. She had tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Although they had resolved Lorrie's issues before bedtime, Lex couldn't get the scene from the ice cream shop out of her head. She sat at her desk, and stared at the card game on the computer screen. Lorrie's angry words kept echoing through her mind.
"You're not my real mother!"
Disgusted by the path her thoughts continued to take, she closed the program and stared at the picture on the desktop. It was one of her favorites. Amanda was on a hay bale in front of the corral, holding Eddie. Standing on the fence behind her were Lorrie and Melanie. All smiled big for the camera. The portrait had been a birthday present from her family, and Lex treasured it. But Lorrie's words continued to haunt her.
"You're not my real mother!"
"Damn it!" Lex shut down the computer. Her eyes burned and her heart ached. She rubbed her face as if to wipe the words from her mind.
Light footsteps alerted her and she looked up to see her wife standing at the door.
"It's late."
"Yeah, I know." Lex stood and moved around the desk. "Did I do something to wake you?"
Amanda held out her hand. "I missed you when I rolled over."
"Sorry. I couldn't sleep." Lex took her hand and kissed it. "I was trying to keep from disturbing you."
"Honey," Amanda led her into the living room. "Don't you know by now that when you're upset, it disturbs me?"
She tugged Lex toward the couch and pushed her to sit. She settled beside her and rested her head against Lex's shoulder as their hands stayed linked.
"Lorrie's going to be fine. And I'm going to have a talk with her teacher tomorrow at lunch." Amanda looked into Lex's face. "When are you going to tell me what she said today? All I know is that you were so upset you dropped the girls off, instead of coming into Gramma's."
Lex put her arm around her and kissed the top of Amanda's head. "It's not important now. Lorrie's all settled, that's what matters."
Amanda tugged on Lex's hair. "No, what matters is you." She shifted until they were nose to nose. "And, as much as I love our daughter, she said something that upset you."
Her hand touched Lex's clenched jaw. "Please."
In a soft, pained voice, Lex told
Amanda what happened at the ice cream shop. When she was finished, she released a heavy breath. "Poor kid. She was so freaked out."
"Poor kid? My God, Lex. I would have been tempted to smack her for yelling like that."
"Yeah. But we've never raised a hand to one of our kids, and I wasn't about to start in a damned ice cream parlor." Lex rubbed her face. "Good God, I'm beat. Let's go to bed."
She got up and pulled Amanda up with her, embracing her. "Thanks for coming downstairs, sweetheart. I'd have probably brooded in the office all night."
Amanda patted her on the stomach as they left the living room. "Like I would have let you."
SATURDAY MORNING, ONCE everyone was fed breakfast, Amanda took Lorrie into town. They were going to meet Jeannie at Anna Leigh's, since that's where most of Jeannie's things from her first marriage were stored.
Lorrie was silent until they reached the city limits. "Momma hates me."
Amanda fought the urge to slam on the brakes. Instead, she pulled into the nearest parking lot. She took a moment to get her emotions under control before she shifted in her seat to give Lorrie her full attention. "You know that's not true."
"She's not here, is she?" Lorrie crossed her arms and stared through the windshield. "At least she's related to Eddie. He's probably her favorite."
Although she wanted to grab Lorrie by the shoulders and shake some sense into her, Amanda kept her hands on the steering wheel. "Do you think she loves me?"
Lorrie's head snapped around. "Of course. She says it all the time."
"And what did she say to you this morning, before we left the house?"
Caught in the trap, Lorrie lowered her face and stared at her knees. She mumbled something unintelligible.
"What was that?"
"She said to have a good time, and that she loved me."
Amanda took one of her daughter's hands. "Have you ever heard her say something she didn't mean?"
Lorrie shook her head, but refused to look at her.
"I learned a long time ago that whenever I asked your Momma a question, I'd get an honest answer. Even if it wasn't the answer I wanted."
Amanda leaned closer and softened her voice. "If you want to watch her panic, take her clothes shopping and ask her opinion on a hideous outfit. She'll stumble all over herself trying not to hurt your feelings."
Unable to help it, Lorrie laughed. She soon sobered when she considered the conversation. "Why didn't she come with us, then?"
Why, indeed? Amanda remembered asking Lex that very question before they headed downstairs for the day. Her wife, who had a thoughtful streak that not many knew about, had a very good reason. Lex told her that while she would love to be there for support, she believed that it would be extremely hard for Jeannie, and wanted to give them the time and space needed. "She knew it's going to be difficult for your Aunt Jeannie, and thought that the less people that were there, the better."
"Oh." Lorrie turned her head when she heard the pain in her mother's voice. "It's going to be hard for you too, isn't it?"
Amanda didn't bother to hide the tears in her eyes. "In a way, yes. Your father was my best friend and I loved him."
"You did? How come you didn't get married, then?"
When Amanda laughed, Lorrie blushed.
"Oh. "˜Cause you're gay, right?"
"Right. And because, the minute I introduced him to Jeannie, he was hopelessly in love with her. Why, I don't know," Amanda joked.
She squeezed Lorrie's hand. "Are we good?"
Lorrie nodded. "Yep. We don't have to do this, if it's going to make you and Aunt Jeannie cry. You've always been good about answering my questions about my dad. I guess with all that stuff we're learning at school, it made me want to know more."
"We'll be okay, sweetie. But thank you. We should have done this years ago. Just wait until you see the wedding pictures. Momma laughed for days after seeing my hair back then."
REBECCA CAME OUT of the barn with her saddle, blanket and bridle and almost dropped them all when she saw two new horses on the other side of the corral. She slowed her pace toward the corral, where Patches, Duchess and Morgan watched her with interest.
"Who're your new friends?"
She placed the saddle and blanket on a lower rung of the corral before climbing inside. Shelby hadn't told her of any new boarders at lunchtime.
"Hey, guys." She kept the bridle draped on one shoulder. "Where did y'all come from? Hmm?"
The nearest horse snorted at her and looked at her with distrust. Its reddish-brown coat was tangled with dirt and twigs, and its matching tail and mane were matted with burrs. Its ribs showed through the scruffy winter coat and it stomped one foot when Rebecca got too close.
"Easy," she whispered. She peeked beneath the animal and could see that the mare had recently nursed. "Where's your baby?"
She kept her distance as she studied the other horse. Its muddy coat may have once been white, but for now it was in as bad of shape as its companion. Also a mare, it trotted a wide circle behind the other.
Rebecca moved closer. She knew she was safe as long as she was not on their side of the fence. Patches followed behind while her other two horses stood near the water trough and watched. Before she could get much closer, she heard Shelby on the front porch.
"Rebecca, don't even think about it!" Shelby jogged down the steps. The closer she got to the corral and fence, the slower she moved. "Where did they come from?"
"I thought you could tell me. They look half-starved, Shelby."
Shelby joined her in the corral. "Yeah. I don't recognize the brand on them, either." The marks on their hips were partially obscured by their coats, but a general outline could still be seen. It appeared to be a capital letter T, resting on its side, enclosed in a circle. "Circle Lazy T, I think. I wonder if Lex has ever seen it?"
"Do you think she'd recognize the horses? I mean, she knows just about everyone around Somerville, doesn't she?"
"Maybe." Shelby held out her hand for Rebecca. "Let's go back to the house and give her a call."
Rebecca put her bridle in the outstretched hand and laughed at the look she received. "Shouldn't we feed them, or something? They look pitiful."
"Maybe a little, until we can have a vet check "˜em out. I'd hate to make one of them sick, or worse."
LEX FASTENED EDDIE'S diaper and slid his tiny jeans up his legs. "Okay, buddy. Let's see if we can keep you clean at least until dinner time."
"Momma, no." Eddie kicked as Lex put socks and shoes on his feet. "No!"
"Yes," Lex argued lightly. She swung him off the table and set him feet first on the floor. "Maybe you'll think twice before smearing grape jam in your hair."
Eddie stomped and giggled. "Ha." He grabbed her jeans at the knee and tugged. "Up."
"I just put you down." Lex walked carefully to the bathroom and washed her hands. "We need to start working on potty training with you."
When he heard the word potty, Eddie went to the toilet and tried to open the lid. The safety latch foiled his attempt and he slapped at it and screeched. "No!"
Lex dried her hands and laughed. "I think you're gonna have to start a little smaller, kiddo." She tapped him lightly on the head. "Do you want to go see what Melanie is up to?"
"Meemee?" Eddie turned and giggled. "Go!"
"That's what I thought." Lex held out her hand for him. When his little fist tightened around her index finger, a lump settled in her throat. It didn't matter which child she was with, the pure trust they gave her swelled her heart with pride. She never thought she'd feel this, the love of a child or the warmth of a loving home. But now that she had it, she'd fight to the death to keep it.
They walked down the hall and stopped by Melanie's partially open door. Eddie started to push inside, but Lex stopped him.
"Hold your horses. Gotta knock knock first." Lex made a fist and tapped the door frame.
Eddie laughed and mimicked her, beating on the wall. "Meemee!"
"Come in," Mel
anie sang.
Eddie looked up at Lex.
"Well, go on."
"Naw naw." Eddie shoved the door open. "Meemee, naw naw."
Melanie looked up from the doll house she was playing with on the floor. "Good boy, Eddie. You knock knocked." She held out a male doll. "Wanna play with me?"
"Pway." Eddie took the doll and sat beside his sister.
Lex's cell phone buzzed from her hip. She leaned against the door and watched the kids play.
"Walters. Oh, hey, Shelby." She frowned as Shelby told her about the two horses that showed up at their place. "Lazy Circle T? No, there's not anything even close to that around here. What? Uh, yeah, I guess I could. Y'all mind if I bring Mel and Eddie?" Lex laughed. "Great. I'll see you in a bit."
She clipped her phone onto her belt. "Hey, kids. Want to go see Ms. Shelby and Ms. Rebecca?"
JEANNIE TURNED THE page of the photo album and laughed. "Oh, my God. I'd totally forgotten about this." She tapped the picture lightly. "Amanda?"
"Oh." From Jeannie's left, Amanda giggled and shook her head. "Lorrie, this is your Dad and your Momma attempting to hang Christmas lights on Gramma's house."
Lorrie, who sat to the right of Jeannie, leaned closer to the album. "Why is she holding his legs like that?"
"Because they thought it would be easier to hang the lights from above, instead of having to move the ladder. They took turns reaching over the edge of the house while the other held their legs to keep them from falling off the roof."
"That's dumb."
Amanda snorted. "Funny, that's the same thing Grandpa told them, right before your Momma sneezed and let go of your Dad."
Lorrie's eyes went wide. "Did he fall?"
"Not exactly," Amanda explained. "When he started to slide down toward the edge, Momma fell forward to catch his feet, stumbled and dove off the roof."
"No way!"
Jeannie ran her finger across the photo. "Luckily, she fell into the very tall hedges by the living room windows."
Lorrie cocked her head and squinted at Jeannie. "There aren't any hedges there."
"Not anymore," Amanda added with a giggle. "Although she was very happy that Momma didn't hurt herself, Gramma was ready to kill both of them for ruining her hedges."