by Eva Chase
And even if the material did protect her from accusations of treason, it wasn’t going to do anything to absolve her of the murder charge. We only had a few days left, and I hadn’t made much progress at all.
I couldn’t let the other barons win against her. It was that simple. I just… didn’t have any idea how I could ensure that we won yet, and that fact niggled at me more and more with each passing day.
I’d finally sat down on the sofa when Rory slipped into the room, just before nine. She smiled at me, so goddamn grateful for the little I’d managed to accomplish—grateful that I was here at all—and my stomach clenched up even as my heart skipped a beat.
“So, what have you got for me this time?” she asked in a casual tone that I suspected took some effort. She dropped onto the other end of the sofa.
I nudged the envelope toward her. “These files took a little more digging to uncover. Not because they’re top secret or anything, but because the authorities didn’t consider them to be of the same level of concern. But… I think you might find them even more concerning than what I’ve shown you before. They’re reports on incidents when the joymancers’ efforts to interfere with fearmancer activities didn’t result in any of us being harmed, but bystanders were.”
The envelope creased where Rory’s fingers tightened around it. “They hurt Naries?”
“Sometimes, if those people were in the way to getting at us. Looking over the reports, I’d say it was accidents or carelessness in the moment, not planned callousness, but still. The ones who stalk us think screwing us over is worth a little collateral damage.”
I could tell how much that thought disturbed her from her hesitation before she opened the envelope. The uneasy sense crept over me that I should leave her to do her reading in private, but she hadn’t given any sign she wanted to be alone. The least I could do was be here for her if she needed someone to talk with to process everything in those files.
As she looked over one report and then another, I returned my attention to my coffee. Her mouth pursed tighter with each page she read. After several, she set the sheets down and pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead.
“There’d be no reason for them to lie about or exaggerate those accounts, would there?” she said, her voice gone hollow. “The fearmancers writing the reports obviously didn’t care about what happened to the Naries either—they were just being thorough in noting everything that happened.”
“That would be what I’d assume.” I didn’t believe the blacksuits and other authorities who’d written up attacks where fearmancers had suffered would have exaggerated those accounts either, but I couldn’t say it wasn’t possible a few liberties had been taken here or there to emphasize a case. With the Naries… No, most of my fellow mages saw them on the same level as public property that’d been damaged.
“Some of those situations were so pointless.” Rory let out a rough breath. “If they’d just waited for another opportunity, they might have gotten a better one, and there wouldn’t have been any Naries around. What’s the point in trying to stop harmful fearmancer activities if you’re going to cause a bunch of harm yourself along the way? Those people who ended up in the hospital… That family whose store was destroyed…” She shook her head.
I grimaced in sympathy. “I know. I’m sure not all joymancers would be that single-minded, just like not every fearmancer is a total asshole, as I hope you’re convinced of by now. From what you’ve said about your adoptive parents, they were good people. I’d never try to convince you that their entire community is evil or something like that. But some of them have gotten so caught up in their campaign against us, I’m not sure they’re really thinking things through anymore. Kind of like how Malcolm got in his feud with you.”
Rory winced at that reminder. “Okay. That kind of single-mindedness can obviously happen on both sides.” She gazed down at the papers with a sort of hopeless expression that squeezed my heart. Maybe there really wouldn’t be much loyalty to the joymancers left in her by the time the judge might be poking around inside her head. In this moment, I was finding it hard to consider that a victory.
“Are there any mages who don’t go around wreaking havoc on regular people?” she asked. “Is that just what all kinds of magic do to you—make you power-hungry and arrogant?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “That seems to be how it works around here, anyway. I’m not sure if the mages in other cultures around the world approach the situation differently… We don’t have very close contact with other fearmancer communities outside of a few in western Europe.”
“I guess there are mages all over the world, huh?”
“As far as I know.” I rubbed my mouth and then let myself add, “That’s something I’ve always wanted to do—travel around and get to know the different communities, find out how they work, see if there are things we could learn from them.”
An eager light came into Rory’s eyes. “Why haven’t you?”
I made a sweeping gesture with my hand to indicate the responsibilities all around me. “I can’t afford to take my attention off the barony for that long. Maybe once I’m full baron and more established—once the older barons have retired and I don’t have to worry about them undermining me as much... Of course, there’ll still be my aunt to keep an eye on. Lord knows how long she’ll keep coveting the role.”
“I don’t suppose she’s had any criminal dealings we could sic the blacksuits on her for like we did with my grandparents?”
My lips twitched with a wry smile. “No, she’s too careful for that. Which I should probably be thankful for, because if she were bolder with her attempts at sabotage, I might not still be here.”
“I won’t argue against that.” Rory sighed and shoved the reports into their envelope, which she tucked inside her purse. Then she tipped her head back against the sofa. She frowned at the ceiling. “It seems like every time I turn around, there are fewer people I can count on.”
“You’ve got the scions,” I said. “Well, maybe not quite Malcolm yet, but Jude and Connar. And me. I’m not going anywhere.”
“As long as the barons don’t ramp up their scheming to try to crush you too.”
There was so much guilt in her strained words that my throat closed up. I eased closer to her on the sofa, my knee brushing hers with a faint warmth. “Not going to happen. I’ve got way too much practice at dodging those kinds of threats.”
She turned her head to face me, her brow knitting. Her hand slid across the cushion to find mine. An eager quiver shot over my skin at the feel of her fingers twining with my own. “But who’s going to look after you while you’re so busy looking after me?”
I couldn’t have said exactly what broke the dam inside me. Maybe it was the compassion glowing in that gorgeous face of hers, part of what had drawn me to her in the first place. Maybe it was the fact that she could still worry about what happened to me even when her entire future was on the line. Or maybe I’d simply been holding myself back so long my self-control had worn thin.
“I happen to be very good at multitasking,” I said, my voice dropping low of its own accord, and before I could think better of it, I’d brought my mouth to hers.
How many weeks had it been since I’d last had this pleasure? I’d forgotten what kind of heaven kissing Rory was. Especially when she kissed me back, with a soft little sound of encouragement that sent a jolt of lust straight to my groin. Her fingers teased into my hair, and her warm lips moved against mine, deepening the kiss. Just like that, I was lost in the taste of her, in the berry sweetness lingering in her mouth.
Her other hand clutched my shirt, tugging me closer. My breath stuttered with the press of her chest against mine. I gripped her waist, a thrill racing through me as the silky fabric shifted to offer a strip of bare skin.
In that instant, I wanted nothing more than to lay her back on the sofa and rediscover the blissful rush that came with the joining of our bodies. So what if the door to the lounge
wasn’t locked? Let the other guys stumble on us and see that she wanted me too.
My hand slid higher up her side, her fingers tightened in my hair, and a spark of warning finally penetrated the haze of my desire. I could fuck everything up if just one person stepped over that threshold and saw us—fuck it up not just for me but for her.
I yanked myself back, my nerves raw with the sudden loss of contact and my chest heaving. Rory stayed where she was, even more beautiful with that flush in her cheeks and the hungry glint in her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she started.
I cut the rest of her apology off with a shake of my head. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong. I shouldn’t have— I’m sorry.”
It wasn’t just for school policy, I reminded myself. I couldn’t have her. Not in the long run, not the way I already wanted her, not without losing the barony and throwing my little brother into the fray. It was easier if I never got involved with her this intimately in the first place.
That was the logic I’d been using from the moment I’d realized I wanted her. Suddenly it struck me as absurd. I was involved—Rory Bloodstone was tangled all through my mind and my heart, and I’d be lying to myself more than anyone if I denied it. Sure, it’d be painful letting her go later if I gave in to those feelings wholeheartedly now… but every time I stopped myself, every time I pulled away, was plenty painful too. What was I really sparing myself from?
None of that mattered right now, though. Rory needed a friend, someone to help her through the awful situation she was facing, not another lover. The rest of those thoughts… the rest I could sort through later.
I exhaled slowly and brought my attention back to the reason for this meeting. “Do you think you’ll want more of those reports?”
Rory looked down at her purse. She hesitated for a second before accepting the change of subject. The flush was already fading from her cheeks. “No, I think—I think this is enough to color my opinions in the right direction.”
“Is there anything else I can look into or try to dig up that would help?” The need shot through me, sharp and searing, to do something more than I’d managed so far. “Really, anything at all, even if you’re not sure I’d be able to. I do have more access to the professors and the administration in general…”
Rory’s face brightened abruptly. “There actually is something. Can you get your hands on a student’s class schedule for me? There’s someone I’m having a lot of trouble tracking down.”
Chapter Twenty
Rory
“I feel so stupid,” I said to Deborah as I flopped back on my bed. “I never even met any joymancers other than Mom and Dad, and I just assumed they were all peaceful and kind and, I don’t know, focused on joy.”
Deborah scurried along my arm to nestle her warm furry presence against my shoulder. You weren’t wrong. The Conclave’s main objective is to see us spread as much joy as we can.
“And to get in the way of the mages who are stirring up fear instead, by whatever means necessary, no matter who’s in the way.”
I don’t know much about the active hostilities between our people and the fearmancers, but I’m sure they always weighed the risks carefully—
“How can you be sure if you don’t know much about it?” I reined my temper in and sighed. I had to remember to keep my voice quiet when I was talking to her to make sure no one overheard. If I concentrated, I could make out the murmur of a few of my dormmates talking in the common room on the other side of my door.
“I’m sure they believe they’re doing the right thing,” I went on. “They probably have all sorts of justifications. I’m just starting to think they weigh the factors in the situation differently than I would. At least, when it comes to the ones that come up here basically hunting fearmancers, even though the fearmancers leave them alone.”
They don’t come after the fearmancers to protect themselves. It’s for the Naries’ sake.
“Then I don’t see why they’re so reckless about hurting the Naries who happen to be nearby.”
Maybe the joymancers who fought those battles told themselves it was on behalf of people without magic, the people the fearmancers exploited… but the records I’d seen made it hard to believe that. How much were they trying to make the world more joyful, and how much did they simply take joy in eliminating mages they disagreed with, no matter who else paid the price along the way?
I wasn’t going to say the fearmancers were better on average, but…
“How can I go to them to take down the school when I don’t know how they’ll handle that fight?” My throat tightened. “They might decide even the people who want the fearmancer community to be better, like Declan, are a threat. They might hurt the Nary students while they’re destroying everything here they can. I don’t want to cause some kind of slaughter.”
If you laid it out for them—if you explained things—they’d understand.
“Maybe. How much will they even listen to me, when I’m one of those fearmancers?” I grimaced. “They didn’t even trust me staying with my parents once I got old enough to come into my magic, when I’d never done anything wrong and they were suppressing my powers the whole time.”
Deborah didn’t seem to have any answer to that. She nuzzled my shoulder.
Whatever happens, I’ll stand up for you however I can. I know you’re more joymancer than fearmancer at heart.
That reassurance only made me queasy. I wasn’t so sure anymore that I wanted to be more like the joymancers. I wanted to be like my adoptive parents—but as people, not as mages. When it came to my magic, I wanted to be me.
A fearmancer could do good for the world. A fearmancer could care about other people. I had more than one example of that just among the scions.
The peal of my phone’s ringtone broke through my uneasy reverie. I rolled over to grab it out of my purse.
“Rory!” a cheerful voice said when I answered. “It’s Maggie. I’m glad I could catch you.”
It took me a second to recognize the voice and the name. Then my body tensed against the bedspread.
Maggie was Lillian Ravenguard’s assistant. I hadn’t heard from Lillian since our tense conversation on the green. I’d found her employee pleasant enough to talk with in the past, but now the brightness of Maggie’s voice, as if we were all such good friends, rubbed me completely the wrong way.
“Hi,” I said warily. “What are you calling about?”
Maggie’s tone became more subdued as if she’d noticed my hesitance. “Oh, it’s kind of silly.” She let out a brief self-deprecating laugh. “I was just wondering if Lillian had come by to see you in the last couple days.”
Wasn’t knowing Lillian’s schedule part of her job? The inquiry set my nerves even more on edge. “I haven’t seen her since Monday.”
“Ah. All right. Did she mention anything she was planning, maybe to do with your case, when you saw her then?”
“No, not really.” And if she’d worked any magic on me, the other scions hadn’t been able to detect it.
I wasn’t inclined to give Maggie the details of our conversation if she didn’t already know them anyway. I frowned at the phone. “Shouldn’t you be asking Lillian this stuff?”
Maybe my tone was a little more brusque than was necessary. Maggie paused for a moment before answering, and her voice came out with a slight edge to it beneath the brightness. “I would, but she hasn’t been in touch for a few days. I’m a little worried, considering her line of work, that’s all. I thought she might have said something to you.”
Lillian was probably off figuring out all the ways to ensure my murder charges stuck. “Well, she didn’t, so I can’t help you,” I said. “And actually, I’ve got to get to class.”
My jaw clenched as I tucked the phone away. Maggie was worried about Lillian and asking me for help, when I was the one just a few days away from losing the whole rest of my life? She had to have some idea what her employer was involved in even if she didn’t know
all the specifics. I didn’t like being rude, but if I’d offended her and she didn’t call again, I couldn’t say I minded.
I hadn’t been lying about having a class to get to soon, although it wasn’t my own. Thanks to Declan’s consultation of the student records, I happened to know that Cressida would be getting out of an Illusion seminar in just fifteen minutes.
“Wish me luck getting some answers,” I murmured to Deborah, who bobbed her head encouragingly.
I got to the classroom on the fifth floor of the tower several minutes early, but that was fine. For all I knew, Cressida might have tried to sneak out early. I waited, leaning against the wall outside, until the door swung open and the students filed out.
Cressida was in the middle of the pack. She was just opening her mouth and raising her hand in what looked like the start of a casting when I snagged the sleeve of her blouse. Her mouth snapped shut at the sight of me.
“Hi,” I said with a tight smile. “I think we need to talk.”
Her lips pressed into a flat line. “I don’t think we have anything to talk about,” she said stiffly as we headed down the stairs together.
“Well, why don’t I ask you a few questions, and we’ll find out whether that’s true. Consider it a request from one of your future barons.”
I didn’t expect that angle to necessarily work. As we left Nightwood Tower, I kept a casting on the tip of my tongue in case I needed to hold onto her magically. But Cressida apparently wanted to keep a certain appearance of dignity, because now that I’d found her, she made no moves to bolt for the hills.
“Where are we having this conversation?” she asked.
I wanted privacy, but I didn’t want to have to travel very far while counting on her compliance. After a moment’s deliberation, I headed toward the kennel. No one was hanging out on the field nearby, and Malcolm’s familiar was the only animal currently residing in the small building.