by Jackie Lau
But.
He was in Ashton Corners visiting his parents. He could not do this right now.
He was about to type out a quick reply when someone said, “Sebastian?”
Sebastian glanced up. There was a middle-aged man coming toward him, and he was the last person on earth Sebastian wanted to see.
“Hello,” Stuart said.
I’m fucking your daughter.
Of course, Sebastian didn’t actually say that—thankfully, he had better control of his mouth—but stood there speechless.
Sebastian had called his man “Uncle Stuart” when he was younger, but the “uncle” part had been dropped over the years.
Suddenly, the fact that he was sleeping with Amber seemed incredibly wrong, even if they were consenting adults who had a good time together.
Your daughter wants to sext me right now.
“Hi,” Sebastian managed instead. “Good to see you.”
Stuart chuckled. “You certainly don’t sound happy to see me.”
Oh, no.
“Uh, just running some errands for my parents, trying to get back in time for lunch!” Sebastian was rattled and his voice sounded weird to his ears.
He talked to Stuart for a minute before hurrying down Main Street.
When he returned to his parents’ house, he changed the lightbulb in the hall light fixture. Both his mom and dad found it necessary to supervise, much to his annoyance.
Then he sent Amber a text. Sorry, I can’t. Maybe tonight.
He was sitting at the kitchen table while his mother finished cooking lunch when she said, “Who is this friend?”
“What are you talking about?” Sebastian asked, tensing. She hadn’t seen him texting Amber, had she?
“You know. The friend you were having bubble tea with when I called on Wednesday.”
Ah. Sebastian would have to make something up, and making shit up on the spot was not one of his strengths. But his mother wanted details, so he’d give her details.
“His name is Shane,” Sebastian said. “A friend from med school. He, uh, lives in Toronto—that’s where he’s from—but he was in Waterloo for the day and wanted to meet up.”
“What is he doing now?” Mom asked. “Residency? Or is he finished?”
“He’s doing his residency in internal medicine.”
“Is he married?”
What was with this inquisition?
“Yes,” Sebastian decided.
“Did you go to his wedding?”
“No.”
“Why not? If you are good enough friends to meet for bubble tea a few years after you have finished med school, why weren’t you good enough friends to go to his wedding?
“He got married before med school. Before I met him.”
“He must have been very young,” Mom said.
“Twenty-three.”
“Too young. But you are thirty and have no girlfriend!”
An image of Amber in her vest popped into Sebastian’s head again, but he pushed it aside. She wasn’t his girlfriend.
“I just got out of a relationship,” he said.
“You wasted so many years on Lucinda.”
“Wasted” was a bit strong. Though at least they were talking about something real now, rather than Sebastian’s imaginary friend named Shane.
This was not what he’d expected adulthood to be like.
“Now you should be in high demand,” his mother said. “You are a doctor. You are handsome. Maybe I should start looking for someone for you.”
Sebastian sighed. He didn’t need his mother involved in his dating life.
Wasn’t running into Stuart right after Amber had tried to sext him bad enough?
“Please don’t do that, Mom,” he said.
“Stuart and Rosemary set their children up with dates for Thanksgiving,” Dad said. “Diana went as Zach’s date.”
“I’m guessing that didn’t turn out well or I’d have heard about it before.”
Mom lifted the lid on the rice cooker. “Zach did not tell you about this?”
Sebastian felt a stab of guilt at the mention of his friend.
Yes, he really did need to call Zach sometime. He had no social life at present, aside from visiting his parents and having bubble tea with his imaginary friend Shane.
And seeing Amber, of course.
* * *
“I want one of those,” Ah Ma pointed at a cocktail on the waiter’s tray.
“I think it’s a piña colada,” Amber said.
“What is in that? Is there alcohol?”
“Yes. Rum, plus pineapple juice and coconut cream, I believe.”
“It looks so cute, with the little umbrella and pineapple slice. Today I am going to be wild and fun like my granddaughter.”
Amber’s father was working today, and she was having a “girls’ day” in London with her mother and grandmother. Ah Ma had seen this on a TV show and decided it needed to happen.
Before driving to London, Amber had attempted to sext Sebastian, thinking that might relieve some of her stress, but unfortunately, he’d been busy.
And now, here she was.
They were at a new restaurant in downtown London, Ontario, and afterward they’d go shopping at Masonville.
“You should have one with me,” Ah Ma said to Amber.
“Okay. But just one. I’m driving.”
“You, too,” Ah Ma said to her daughter-in-law.
Mom shook her head. “No alcohol for me right now.”
“Wah, is this the price?” Ah Ma stabbed her finger at the drinks menu. “So expensive.”
“It’s fine,” Mom said. “It’s our special day out. And you are only having one drink, because one drink for you is the equivalent of four drinks for someone else.”
Ah Ma shook the lunch menu. “I don’t understand this. It is supposed to be in English, but I am not so sure? What is chimichurri? What is tartare? This is too complicated. And why are there chocolates in the mac and cheese?”
Amber looked at the description of the mac and cheese and immediately understood her grandmother’s confusion. “They aren’t talking about chocolate truffles. Truffles are a fancy fungus.”
“Fancy fungus! In mac and cheese? What do you mean?” Ah Ma shook her head. “White-person restaurants are weird. I am ordering just for me, right? Not for sharing?”
For decades, Ah Ma and Ah Yeh had run Wong’s Wok, a Chinese-Canadian restaurant in Mosquito Bay. They’d been so busy working at the restaurant that they hadn’t gotten a chance to eat out very often. Besides, there wasn’t much selection in Mosquito Bay. When they were in London, Ah Ma usually wanted to go to a Chinese restaurant, but occasionally she could be persuaded to try other things.
However, she ended up complaining most of the time.
Mom sighed. “Maybe this was a mistake. I should have picked something else, but I wanted to give this place a try.”
The server came around to take their drink orders, and it was another ten minutes before they decided on their food. Amber ordered the truffle mac and cheese, which came with a spinach salad. Her mother ordered the calamari. Ah Ma chose the lamb burger with sweet potato fries.
Their drinks arrived soon after, and Ah Ma looked at hers with delight.
“Ah, it is so big! And there is the umbrella.” Ah Ma took a sip. “It is a little sweet, but still tasty. Amber, take a picture of me enjoying my tropical vacation!”
Dutifully, Amber snapped a picture with her phone.
When the food arrived, Ah Ma didn’t even complain about the portion size, which was a definite sign that she had drunk a lot.
Amber had a bite of her salad, then tried the mac and cheese. It was rich and creamy, and she closed her eyes and sighed in bliss.
“It looks like it is delicious,” Ah Ma said. “Let me try.” She reached over with her fork to grab a bite of Amber’s mac and cheese. “Amazing! This is nothing like what comes from the box. I guess fancy fungus is good after all. Rosema
ry, I am trying some of yours, too.” She helped herself to a piece of calamari. “Not as good as the truffle mac and cheese, but still delicious. Can I have some of your drink, too, Amber?”
“You have exactly the same drink as me,” Amber pointed out.
“But yours has a blue umbrella! Mine is pink.”
“The color of the umbrella doesn’t change the taste of the drink.”
“Let me test. It will be like a science experiment.” Ah Ma grabbed Amber’s drink and had a sip. “I think yours is not as sweet as mine.”
Mom laughed. “I think you should eat your own food and drink. But I’m glad you like it.” She turned to Amber. “How’s work going?”
“Pretty good.”
“How are Gloria and Roxanne?”
“They’re good.”
“You know, you can add a little variety to your answers.”
“Sorry,” Amber said, “I was distracted...”
Her grandmother was triumphantly holding three fries up above her head.
“I am a sweet potato queen!” Ah Ma burped. She had another sweet potato fry, then picked up her burger. She took a big bite of it, and some of the condiments came out the other side. “Such a good burger.”
The people at the next table were staring at them.
“So,” Mom said to Amber, “Greg, Nick, and Zach all have girlfriends. Are you going to bring a date to Chinese New Year, too?”
“No date,” Amber said, “and don’t you dare set me up with anyone.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t dare.”
“Except you did. At Thanksgiving. With one of my exes.”
Mom managed an infuriating smile. “Okay, we did. But I promise, I will not set you up with anyone for Chinese New Year. Maybe we could buy you some nice going-out clothes today, though. Something to really get a guy’s attention.”
“It’s not hard to get a guy’s attention. The difficulty is getting a decent man’s attention. The dating market is harsh, trust me. I’m off dating at the moment.”
“You might meet someone when you least expect it. Like at the grocery store.”
Amber choked on her mac and cheese. Her grandma stumbled up from her chair and slapped Amber—with surprising strength—on the back, but unfortunately Ah Ma then tripped on the table leg, and Mom barely got a hold of her before she knocked over one of the piña coladas.
Though Amber was most certainly not dating Sebastian, he was a decent guy, and she’d run into him—for the first time in years—in the grocery store. They’d discussed condoms, not apple varieties or cuts of beef, which was likely what Mom had in mind.
At the horrifying thought of Mom learning the Magnum condom story, Amber took a gulp of her piña colada and almost choked again.
“Went down the wrong pipe,” she said. “I’m fine.”
“Is there something you’re not telling me, Amber?” Mom asked. “Did you, in fact, meet someone at the grocery store?”
“Amber has a mystery man,” Ah Ma said gleefully. “Who is he? I will find out.”
“No mystery man,” Amber said.
But apparently she wasn’t convincing enough.
“Does he have big muscles?” Ah Ma flexed her arm before biting into the pineapple garnish on her drink.
“What’s his name?” Mom asked. “What does he do for a living?”
“I want to be young again!” Ah Ma said. “Having lots of love affairs. Amber, you should enjoy yourself now. Are you using Tinder? How do these things work? We will get you sexy clothes at the mall today for your mystery man. You will be a hot piece of ass.”
“Don’t tell my daughter she’s a hot piece of ass,” Mom said, then started laughing. “You’re definitely drunk.”
Oh, God. Why was Amber’s family even more embarrassing now than when she was a teenager?
Why were they doing this in public?
“We will get you a sexy skirt,” Ah Ma said. “Or skort.”
Amber just shook her head and looked at her plate. She was losing her appetite.
Her mother and drunk grandmother talked about Amber’s love life while they finished their food. The waiter came over and asked if they wanted anything for dessert.
“I will have that,” Ah Ma pointed at the table next to them. A woman was drinking a fancy coffee beverage, topped with whipped cream and a cherry.
“I think it has booze,” Mom said, “and the last thing you need is more booze.”
“We could make booze-free coffee garnished with whipped cream,” the waiter said.
“Excellent.” Mom smiled at him. “We’ll each have one.”
“Don’t forget the cherries!” Ah Ma said. She grabbed the little umbrellas off the empty cocktail glasses and stuffed them in her purse before the waiter cleared the table.
“Why are you taking the garnish?” Amber asked.
“They are cute! Maybe I will put one in my water glass tonight.”
“You know you can buy packages of those. I bet Ah Yeh can find them on Amazon.”
“Wah, waste of money when there are two right here. Plus, I want to remember this wonderful girls’ day out. These will be a memento. For when I called you a hot piece of ass!”
“I think the coffee will sober her up,” Mom whispered to Amber.
“Maybe,” Amber said. “But you are perfectly sober and still threatening to get me clothes to help me pick up guys.”
The coffee sobered up Ah Ma a little, but she seemed particularly sensitive to the caffeine and started talking a mile a minute. She also had to go to the washroom every ten minutes and kept trying to dance, for mysterious reasons.
Thus, the group shopping trip did not go as planned. It ended after thirty minutes, which was for the best, as Mom’s and Ah Ma’s taste in clothes had almost no overlap with her Amber’s. Also, Ah Ma had insisted they go into a lingerie shop, and Amber had needed to explain how thongs worked.
Not how she’d expected to spend the afternoon.
Once her mother and grandmother were on their way back to Mosquito Bay, Amber did a little shopping on her own. She ended up buying a vest rather similar to the one she’d been wearing when she had bubble tea with Sebastian. Just because it was on sale.
Oh, and Sebastian would like it. Whenever she thought about wearing it for him, it brought a stupid grin to her face. Maybe she could wear it with nothing underneath.
Lingerie was a relationship thing to Amber, but a vest was not lingerie.
After leaving the mall, she figured she might as well make another stop while she was in London. She went to Glazed, a gourmet donut shop, and enjoyed a red velvet donut—her favorite—as she recovered from seeing her family.
As she licked the cream cheese frosting off her fingers, she thought of Sebastian again. Imagined licking frosting off his long pianist’s fingers. Wondered if he’d be free to sext later.
That evening, after a few drinks at The Tempest with her friends, Amber went home, changed into her pajamas, and took her phone to bed with her.
Hey, she texted Sebastian.
She waited. And waited.
Amber organized the top drawer of her night table—the one with the sex toys and condoms—and still her phone didn’t buzz.
She picked up her phone to check that she hadn’t set it to silent.
No, she hadn’t.
She tried not to feel disappointed.
She was about to get up to brush her teeth when her phone finally vibrated.
Sorry about earlier, he texted. I was in Ashton Corners, and a few seconds after I got your text, I ran into your dad.
Oh, dear. That sounded as painfully uncomfortable as her day.
I was out with my mom and grandmother. Mom suggested I might meet someone when I least expect it. Like at the grocery store. Ah Ma got drunk on a single piña colada and said she wanted me to look like a hot piece of ass.
You want me to help you forget about it all? he asked.
Please.
I have a question for you first.
Want to come over tomorrow night? I’ll cook dinner.
Sounds like a date, she replied.
It’s not. You took me out for bubble tea and fried chicken, so I can make a meal for you, right? How’s 7?
Works for me. Amber’s hand drifted over her body, from her breasts to her thighs. Sonata. She waited for his reply, her heart thumping too fast.
Where are you? he asked.
In bed. Wearing pajamas.
I want you to lick your finger...
Oh, hell, yes. She’d been waiting for this all day.
She did as he asked and got comfortable under the covers, ready for more.
Chapter 7
Sebastian was nervous.
He shouldn’t be nervous. This wasn’t a date.
Which had made it difficult to figure out what to cook. Pasta seemed romantic, as did mussels. Fried rice wasn’t romantic, but it didn’t seem fancy enough
What was it that made pasta more romantic than fried rice? Hmm.
He had a nice chicken dish that he’d made for dates in the past, but he didn’t like the idea of making something he’d cooked for a date before, even if this was, decisively, not a date. Also, it was a little fussy. This meal should be simple, something that didn’t scream, I spent all day in the kitchen for you! But also not something that said, I just tossed any old thing into the frying pan.
In the end, he’d decided on a lentil-sausage soup. But what if she didn’t like soup?
Once, he would have thought that impossible, but his ex hadn’t liked soup of any kind, and it had driven him mad. They hadn’t been able to go out for ramen or pho.
Perhaps he should have asked Amber what she preferred.
He remembered from their childhood that she hated broccoli, but that could have changed. Though to be safe, he hadn’t made anything with broccoli.
The doorbell rang, and he padded down the hallway to answer it.
* * *
Amber looked around after taking off her boots. Sebastian lived in a small house that was a short drive from her apartment. It was clear he hadn’t lived here long. Not because there were piles of boxes, but because it was a bit sparse. Like it needed some homey touches. Perhaps she could make him a cross-stitch that said, Welcome to my den of pleasure.