by Jackie Lau
She couldn’t stop herself from opening it.
He’d signed them up for the cake class she’d wanted to take in Waterloo.
Some people saw her as the flighty youngest child, but since they’d met again as adults, he’d seemed to appreciate everything about her. It wasn’t as if he only liked one part of her or wanted her to be someone other than who she was.
But though she had some rather tender feelings for Sebastian, they were all about friendship and sex. They weren’t romantic.
That’s a lie.
No, it wasn’t. She’d been a little worried before about her teeny-tiny feelings of romance, but Sebastian had been about to say he loved her, and she’d recoiled. She definitely didn’t love him. That wasn’t what she was looking for right now.
Even if she was, going out with him was a terrible idea. Look at what had happened today! His parents had barged their way into his house. What if she’d been eating a donut off his cock? It was fortunate they’d only caught her wearing a revealing dress.
His parents were probably going to have a fight with her parents now.
She wasn’t up for this drama. Not for a man she liked but was nowhere close to loving.
“I can’t do this,” she said to Sebastian, handing back the envelope. “I can’t cause problems between you and your parents.”
“Don’t worry about them. I’ll handle it.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t feel that way about you. I’m so sorry.” Tears came to her eyes. He was her friend; she felt badly for not being able to give him what he wanted.
But she couldn’t.
He raked a hand through his hair. “I understand. I suppose it’s best that we stop seeing each other now. Just take this before you go.” He handed her a box, emblazoned with the logo for Glazed, and she couldn’t help the unhinged laugh that came to her lips.
“You bought donuts. For...?”
“No, not for that. Though if you really wanted...” The corner of his mouth kicked up. “I got them to make you laugh, and because you said you like this donut shop.”
Oh, God.
No, this was all wrong.
She hurried to the door and laced up her impractical boots as quickly as she could.
* * *
Sebastian ate the salad by himself. He ate the mussels by himself.
He opened the bottle of wine and drank a large glass before he could even think about what he was doing.
He didn’t bother lighting the candles.
He’d told Amber how he felt, and it had been a disaster.
Even if his parents hadn’t come at such an awkward time, she said she didn’t have those feelings for him.
It wasn’t meant to be.
She’d told him she wasn’t interested in a relationship, but he’d thought—from the way she kissed him, the way she looked at him—that it had all meant something.
Apparently, he’d been wrong.
He poured himself another glass of wine and sank onto the couch.
Chapter 12
Amber felt like crap.
Maybe it had something to do with the four donuts she’d eaten in the past twenty-four hours. They’d been delicious, of course: red velvet, carrot cake, crème brûlée, and London fog. She’d never told Sebastian that red velvet was her favorite, but somehow, he’d known to get one.
She hadn’t had a good night’s sleep, either. Two hours, tops. She’d kept wishing she was lying in bed next to Sebastian. She felt so terribly that she’d broken his heart.
She wished only the best for him.
Amber probably also felt shitty because she’d gotten a dozen texts and calls from her family in the past twenty-four hours, though aside from talking to Ah Ma last night, she hadn’t answered any of them.
What had his parents told hers?
Your wayward daughter is corrupting our precious son!
Sebastian’s parents had arrived in Ashton Corners from Hong Kong when Sebastian was a baby. Upon hearing that there was a new Chinese family in the next town over, Ah Ma had wanted to visit, and she’d convinced Amber’s parents to go with her. Their baby sons had been only three months apart, and they’d become friends. Amber’s family had been a bridge, of sorts, between Sebastian’s family and their new Canadian small-town life, helping them adjust.
Their families had known each other for decades. And now...
She didn’t feel up to dealing with her family yet. Instead, she was having a night out with her friends.
Amber was now tipsy on beer, in addition to being exhausted and high on sugar. She’d also had four cups of coffee earlier, in an attempt to wake herself up. It hadn’t worked and probably put her body even more out of whack.
“Anyway,” she said, after another gulp of beer, “when his mother basically said I was an underachieving slut, Sebastian was furious.”
“Good,” Gloria said. “He should have been furious.”
“Once they were gone, he told me that I was perfect and he’d fallen in love with me. He had a romantic dinner all planned out.” Her voice wavered. “He also signed us up for a cake class.”
Roxanne and Gloria looked at each other.
“Why would he do that?” Roxanne asked.
“I told him that I want to take one. I watch baking shows all the time.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.” Amber paused. “I also crochet little animals as a hobby, but I felt embarrassed telling you two about those things, because you’re so talented and I’m...” She gestured vaguely with her hands.
“I knew about the cross-stitching,” Gloria said.
“Because I made you an intricate floral piece that said ‘Fuck that shit.’”
“Yeah, and I said you should sell them.”
“I don’t want to turn everything I do into a business, though.”
Gloria nodded. “I’m sorry, I didn’t get that. But you are talented.”
“You didn’t tell us about baking, but you told Sebastian,” Roxanne pointed out.
“I told him a lot of things.”
Gloria and Roxanne exchanged looks again. Why did they keep doing that?
“Are you sure you’re not in love with him?” Gloria asked. “I haven’t seen you this upset in a long time. Like, you and Darren were together for quite a while, and I don’t think you were this bothered when you found out he was cheating.”
“And all Sebastian has done is treat you well,” Roxanne said.
“Yeah, I fall for the losers. I’m broken. I can’t fall for the guy who’s actually good to me.” Amber frowned at her coaster.
“And has a big dick and knows how to use it,” Gloria said.
Amber snorted.
“I think you’ve fallen for him,” Roxanne said. “You’re just in denial. I’m not sure why. Maybe because of his parents.”
“Yesterday was bad enough. I don’t want to have to deal with that over and over again. I showed up in an I-want-to-have-sex-tonight dress.”
“Think of it this way: you’ve already reached rock bottom. There’s nowhere to go but up. How could it get any worse?”
“If they walked in on me giving him a blowjob and eating a donut off his dick.”
“Huh,” Gloria said. “Your imagination really is something.”
“It’s that old sex advice from Cosmo, right?” Roxanne said.
“Yeah, Sebastian and I were laughing about it the other day. You can see how much worse the situation could get.”
“With basic precautions—such as locking the door—it seems unlikely something like that would happen. He’s willing to take his parents to task for how they acted. Maybe try trusting that he can handle it and will always stick up for you.”
“Seems a pity to let this one go when you like him so much,” Gloria said. “I agree with Roxanne. You’re in deep denial.”
“I’m not.” Amber knew that wouldn’t convince them, though.
Gloria leaned forward. “So tell me. Exactly how bi
g is it?”
Amber’s face heated, and then she chuckled at the earnestness in her friend’s face. “I’m not telling. That’s my secret.”
“Fine, fine. Be no fun.”
“I’m fun!”
“Yeah, your boyfriend—”
“Sebastian isn’t my boyfriend!”
“—is right. You’re perfect just the way you are.”
Perhaps it was the lack of sleep or the sheer quantity of sugar, caffeine, and booze that had passed through her veins, but Amber hiccupped and shed a few tears.
“You two are great,” she said.
“We’re also right,” Gloria said, giving her a hug. “You’ll see. Now I’m curious—do you have any pictures of your crochet animals?”
* * *
Amber hadn’t planned to go to Sunday dinner at her parents’ house that week. But Ah Ma had threatened to drink two piña coladas or drop dead—her threats kept changing—if Amber didn’t show up, and she felt guilty. She put on the Hamlet scarf that Ah Yeh had given her and headed out the door.
There were more people at Sunday dinner than usual. Greg, Nick, and their girlfriends had made the drive from Toronto, and everyone was at the door when Amber arrived, twenty minutes late.
“You don’t all need to look at me like that,” Amber said after taking off her shoes. “I’m perfectly fine.”
“I hear you and Sebastian aren’t together anymore,” Zach said.
“I ended things. It’s for the best. I don’t feel that way about him.”
“Are you sure?” Mom asked.
Her family doubted her, just like her friends.
“Do you want me to fight Cecilia and Randall?” Ah Ma lifted up her leg and kicked the air. She lost her balance, and Nick and Greg managed to catch her just in time. “I have mad fighting skills!”
“Sure you do,” Dad said.
“You think I am a weak old woman, but I will show you. Hi-yah!” She punched the air with her left fist, then the right.
“Okay, that’s enough. You’ll hurt yourself.”
“Then they will have my death on their conscience. Good! They deserve it. Amber, they said you were not good enough for Sebastian. Wah, they don’t know what they are talking about. You are the best girl!”
“Thanks, Ah Ma,” Amber said.
“Let me get this straight,” Mom said. “You had a sexual relationship with Sebastian, and he wanted it to be romantic, too, but you said no?”
Ugh, Amber wasn’t in the mood to hear her mother say “sexual relationship.”
“Something like that,” she mumbled.
“There’s nothing wrong with that. As long as you’re enjoying yourself and being treated well, you do what you like.” Mom paused. “You haven’t had many boyfriends. Is this the sort of thing you do often?”
“I’ve had many boyfriends, actually,” Amber said. “I just haven’t told you about most of them. I thought you’d be mad about a few of them, and some didn’t last long. I was hoping to avoid your interference in my life. In fact, I’ve had so many crappy boyfriends that I decided to take a break from dating for a while.”
“And then you ran into Sebastian?”
“Yeah.”
“Where?”
“At the grocery store.” Amber would most certainly not say more than that.
“See? I knew it. The grocery store.”
“Could we please not talk about this anymore?”
Dad put his hand on her shoulder. “We want you to know that Cecilia and Randall are wrong. You’re definitely good enough for Sebastian. The question is whether he’s good enough for you—and that has nothing to do with him being a doctor.”
“He definitely is,” Amber whispered.
“You know,” Zach said, “I like the idea of you two together.”
“Me, too,” Mom said. “But it’s your choice, of course. We won’t interfere.”
Amber looked around at her family. “You’re serious? You won’t interfere in my life anymore?”
“Ah, now you are getting carried away,” Ah Ma said. “I cannot promise that.”
“But I’ve been thinking,” Mom said. “After Zach went so far as to get a fake girlfriend to avoid our matchmaking, and you clearly don’t feel comfortable telling us a lot of things...maybe we got a little too involved at times. Besides, relationships aren’t for everyone—your aunt Cheryl has been happily single for decades. We shouldn’t force it on you. I trust you to make the right decision.”
“I’ve made lots of bad decisions,” Amber said.
“And you haven’t let that get you down.” Mom held out her arms, and Amber embraced her. “We’re proud of you, honey, and don’t listen to anyone who treats you like you’re inferior.”
Amber sniffed, a little uncomfortable with the compliments. “I knew Cecilia didn’t like me, after the condom incident when I was seventeen.”
“We talked about it back then. I told her that you were being safe and I taught you well. She didn’t agree, but I had no idea she continued to hold that against you. Until yesterday.”
“There was a big fight!” Ah Ma said. “They came over and there was so much yelling. Rosemary even slammed the door on them.”
“I didn’t mean to cause problems in your friendship,” Amber said.
“Don’t be sorry about that,” Dad said. “They were horrible to you.” He gave her a hug.
“I want a hug, too,” Ah Ma crashed into the two of them and wrapped her arms around Amber from behind.
Ah Yeh had been silent, and remained so, but he hugged her next, followed by Zach.
Amber released a deep breath. She was lucky to have her family, even if they drove her nuts at times.
Just then, a loud sound pierced her ears.
“Why is the fire alarm going off?” Ah Ma asked.
“It’s probably you,” Dad said. “This happens almost every time you cook.”
“But I haven’t touched the kitchen today! I tried, but everyone told me to stay out.”
“Oh, shit,” Mom said. “I forgot something.”
“See? It wasn’t my fault!”
Ah Ma and Ah Yeh followed Mom into the kitchen, and Dad removed the battery from the smoke detector.
Zach stayed behind in the front hall with Amber.
“Sebastian is a good guy,” Zach said.
“I know,” Amber said miserably.
“I never thought I’d fall in love with Jo, and then...well, things changed. Just saying.”
Amber was overwhelmed right now. This weekend had been a roller coaster, and she was looking forward to going back to work tomorrow and getting away from it all.
The night at Sebastian’s seemed so long ago, but it had only been two days.
And she was starting to wonder...
“I don’t know,” Amber said. “I’m happy for you, by the way. That your ridiculous fake-relationship plan turned into something real.” She thought of Nick and Lily, as well as Greg and Tasha, and a wave of yearning rushed through her.
She might be the Queen of Bad Boyfriends, but she did want to have that one day. She hadn’t given up hope; she’d just put it on hold.
Was it possible Sebastian was the guy for her?
Had she really found love in the family planning section of the grocery store pharmacy?
* * *
Sebastian had hoped to spend most of the weekend with Amber.
Instead, he spent much of the time going over stuff for work, as well as shopping for things to make his house look more like a home. But what his place could really use was an inappropriate cross-stitch near the front entrance. His parents wouldn’t approve, but...
Sebastian liked his life; however, he wondered what would have happened if his parents had never pushed him in any particular direction when it came to his career. If there had been no expectations whatsoever.
Yes, there were things he didn’t tell his mom and dad—and he’d refused to move into the house next door—but overall, his life
was close to what they wanted for him. Even his long-term relationships had been with women his parents generally approved of.
And then he’d started sleeping with Amber Wong.
He didn’t regret anything he’d done or said to them. He would never tolerate such treatment of the woman he loved. He had zero doubts about his feelings for Amber, and for once, he’d done something without a shred of consideration for his parents’ expectations.
Amber was entirely his choice. Sure, it had crossed his mind that his parents might be pleased because she was the daughter of their friends, but that hadn’t really factored in. Plus, he’d dreaded their meddling.
But he’d been wrong about what his parents would say.
And Amber didn’t want him.
He sighed heavily as he sat down at his kitchen table and picked up the envelope with the information for the cake class.
He’d been looking forward to doing that with her, dammit. Everything was fun as long as she was there.
He put on his winter clothes and walked to the grocery store, where he picked up a few things for the week, though he didn’t need much, as his parents had brought quite a bit of food on Friday.
Then he ventured to the pharmacy section. There was a small selection of greeting cards, and all the Valentine’s Day cards were fifty percent off, since the day in question had passed.
He bought one.
He also bought some discounted Valentine’s chocolate, remembering all the Christmas chocolate that Amber had had in her basket that day in January.
Sebastian managed a wry smile at that memory.
After returning home and putting away his groceries, he jumped in his car and headed to his parents’ house. He’d promised he’d come over for dinner today, and he wasn’t particularly looking forward to it.
* * *
“I won’t let you speak to Amber like that ever again,” Sebastian said.
“Is she your girlfriend now?” his mother asked.
They were sitting around the kitchen table in his childhood home: Sebastian, his mother, and his father.
“No,” Sebastian said, “but if you see her again, you better not act like that.”
“We had a fight with Rosemary and Stuart,” Mom said.