I brought my hand to my mouth. “How could you have known that?”
He looked back at the sky. “I am sorry for the way I acted toward you. I don’t want to make any excuses. I just want to apologize to you for the way I treated you.” I just stared at him. He spoke again. “I’ll leave you to your sky. Just remember that we are all here to help you now. I will honor our agreement to be your guard, and I will make sure you can protect yourself.” He started to walk away.
“Alex?” I said.
He turned back to me. “Yeah?”
I blinked a couple times and changed my mind for what I wanted to say. “Never mind, goodnight.”
He looked at me. “Goodnight.” He went back into the dorm.
I stayed outside for a bit longer so I could breathe in the cool night’s air. It was exactly what I needed, I felt like my thoughts were clear, and I almost felt that Tommy was with me. I walked over to where the fire pit was and sat down, staring into the ashes. I sat there until morning when everyone started to wake up and move around.
➢25 Testing Limits
I walked back inside to the dorms and grabbed my clothes to change into.
“Nope,” said Fancy. “You won’t be using those for a while.” She handed me more military grade training clothes and I took them out of her hand.
“Great.”
She smiled and walked off. I put on the clothes and then looked over to the boots. I shook my head in protest and put my dirty brownish-gray converse on.
Gauge came walking by and looked down at my feet. “Here we go.” He smiled and looked off toward Alex. Alex turned and bent backward just a bit to look at my shoes. He shook his head and continued getting his gear together.
Alex and Striker were the first to leave the dorms, followed by Gauge and Fancy. I took a deep breath and walked out of the dorm. When I opened the door Alex was standing just past the door with his arms across his chest.
“What?” I asked.
He nodded, and I was covered in ice water. He stood there very calmly while I was freaking out because of the cold.
“What the hell was that for?” I stood dripping in ice cold water.
He looked away for a moment. “It’s time to test the limits. You are going to be pushed to your breaking point and back. This is to train your system for shock and then you need to continue. Let’s move out.”
Fancy jumped down from the roof of the warehouse. “I’m sorry.”
I looked at her. “Yeah.” I brushed my soaking wet hair out of my eyes. We all started running on a dirt trail.
Alex turned and ran backward while he spoke. “You must expand your lungs, be able to hold your breath longer.”
We came up to a manmade lake that had a dock; we walked to the end of the dock, and then Alex stopped and pulled out weights. “You will stay under until you can’t.” He bent down and tied the weights to my ankles.
I was shocked. “What if I can’t get back out?”
He shook the weights he had just tied and looked up at me. “Here.” He held out a little black box with a button on it. “Press here. It will send a digital signal to me.” I looked at him before I decided to reach for it. “I will get you out.” I still wasn’t sure about this, but everyone was there with me. I felt that I could trust them at least. As Alex stood and looked out at the lake. “Ready?”
“No.”
He smiled when I looked up at him. “Ready?” he asked once again.
I took a deep breath and stepped off the dock. As I fell into the water, I could hear the rest of them cheering, and then I was under the water.
I opened my eyes to look around and I couldn’t see anything. I gave into the water and floated for as long as I could. I started to feel pain in my lungs. I tried to swim upward out of panic. When I reached the end of the rope I dropped the button Alex gave me. It had been at least a minute when I tried to swim down and undo the weights. I couldn’t get to them. I let any air I had left out in hopes they would see it. I started to get lightheaded from the pain in my lungs. I couldn’t tell which way was up or down. I could hear a high-pitched beeping sound in the background, and then I felt the heat penetrate through my core. I could feel the water start to boil around me and then I felt myself being lifted through the water.
Time continued, as if I stepped out of my body again. I broke through the surface of the water only to find Alex dripping wet doing CPR compressions on my chest. I knew that I had literally left my body once I had passed out. I created my own walking dream through pain and panic. I swam fast to the dock and reached up to my body touching my hand as quickly as I could. I opened my eyes and coughed rolling over to my side.
I heard Fancy in the background. “She’s not ready.”
I sat up, still coughing. “No, I’m fine. Again.” I stood up to catch my breath.
Alex backed up a few steps. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
I turned to him. “No, I need to do it again.” This time around I had more confidence that I was going get through it, and honestly I had to; the button was at the bottom of the lake.
Alex made sure everything was secure. “Are you sure?” He looked me in the eye and put his hands on my shoulders waiting for me to look at him.
“I’m doing this.”
I turned, moving his hands from my shoulders as I jumped in. I started to sink immediately to the bottom. I released the air out of my lungs and fought through the pain, my body started to get stiff, and I could feel it tighten up from my head to my toes. My body heated up like before and my eyes jerked open, I still couldn’t see anything, but I felt the water boil like before. But then I felt someone try to grab me, but I wouldn’t go. The last breath of air left my lungs, and I could feel the water moving around me. Everything turned white in front of my face, I couldn’t feel any water touching my skin or moving around me anymore. I only felt the heat as it continued to boil hotter and hotter, releasing the water away from my body so that there was air and I could breathe. I inhaled and brought air back into my tired lungs. I could only feel the pain of my muscles and joints. My body tightened up, and I couldn’t move to get to the locks on the weights. I knew that time had passed. I just didn’t know how much. I saw the dark shadow of some kind of creature coming toward me, like the one from the forest, and then my body regained muscle control. I was able to reach down and unlock the weights, taking my last breath of air from the gap in the water that surrounded me. Then I swam to the surface and looked into the sunlight as I breached the water.
Everyone was watching me as I swam to the dock. Striker reached down, grabbed my hand and lifted me up out of the water and onto the dock. “You are amazing.”
I turned to him. “Yeah?”
He nodded his head yes. “There is so much that we can learn from you.” He bowed and when he looked back up he was smiling at me. I looked at all of them. They had all smiled and lowered their heads at me with respect. I didn’t know what it meant but I knew that I had truly become the savior whether I officially signed up for it or not.
“I think we’re done for today,” Alex said while he looked in the other direction.
“What do you mean?”
He turned around and put his hands on his head rubbing them back and forth through his hair. “It’s really good what we have found out about your abilities, but I don’t want to kill you by doing it. You need to be careful with these limits.”
I shook my head. “You were the one that wanted me to test my limits and make sure that I am ready for whatever is to come. Why back down now?” I walked toward him in a protest.
“I know what I had said, but I’m not willing to risk your life to test the limits. You are far too valuable to us.” He looked upset. I wasn’t sure what to say to him so we just stood there for a moment in silence.
I couldn’t leave it that way. “If I never find out what I am capable of, and I mean really capable of, I won’t be of any use to you as your so-called savior. So what do you want from me?�
�� I asked with the intention to carry on this argument.
He walked toward me with his hands palms up. “I don’t know. You just can’t take frivolous risks. It’s not just about you. It’s about all of us. We can’t lose you.” He walked off toward the lake and stayed there.
Fancy walked up to me and put her arm around my neck. “Don’t pay any attention to him. He’s just blowing off some steam.” She laughed a little until she realized I wasn’t. “Hey? He will be fine. Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” I turned and watched him standing with his head tilted back and his hands over his eyes. We caught up with Gauge and Striker while Alex stood at the edge of the dock for a moment longer. I almost wonder what really happened. What are these abilities that everyone wanted me to acquire and how was I going to be the one that saves everyone? I continued to walk away and then turned to see Alex still standing there at the end of the dock. This shadow creature was coming to me, and I need to figure out what it wants.
“Come on, slow poke!” Fancy tilted her head back and yelled out to him, and I turned quickly so that he wouldn’t know I was watching him. Gauge turned around and jogged back to us putting his arm around me as we walked back together. I had done something amazing, or, I should say, my abilities did something amazing. I couldn’t control them yet, but the more I have to push myself and these abilities that I inherited, the more I start to understand why I am being hunted. Whether it is by the Morrígan, Cas Corach, or any of the mac tires that now know I exist. I realize that this misfit group of warriors that had been through so many losses themselves was the closest thing that I now had to a family that cares about me—my unconditional family.
➢26 Family
Family. That was a novelty to me at that point. We started walking back toward the warehouse on the dirt road, Gauge with his arm around me until Fancy broke off and he followed her. He had grabbed her hand to hold in his when he took his arm away from my shoulder to concentrate on Fancy. Her fingers intertwined into his as he squeezed tightly and turned to give her a kiss on her cheek. It was sweet, and I could tell they loved each other. This made me miss Declan and Duncan; one of them I was supposed to be with, and I had no idea which one it was. But that’s not what mattered now, what mattered was this. I looked around at everyone as they had all passed me except Alex. I paused and was standing still in the middle of the dirt road as Alex came up behind me.
“It’s nice isn’t it?” He stopped and spoke to me as he watched them with me.
“What?” I asked him already knowing what he was looking at.
“Someone to care about you.” He had his arms crossed over his chest and he smiled when I looked at him.
“I think Matt might be the only person left that I have that with,” I said squinting into the sun.
He looked at me. “Matt, your brother’s friend?”
I looked up at him. “He was Tommy’s friend first. But we were always friends.” I took a deep breath out. “Matt has his own obligations, and I’m on my own.”
He uncrossed his arms from his chest. “No, you’re not. You’ve got us now.” He paused to get my full attention and then motioned with his head for us to get going. “Come on.” We walked back watching Striker walk ahead of everyone, Gauge and Fancy still hand in hand. They had their own personalities, but they fit so nicely together. They had no one else. They were family.
Striker went into the warehouse and immediately to the showers, I figured him for the clean freak. Fancy and Gauge pulled out clothes and sat talking about plans for later today. I sat on the edge of my bed and looked down at my hands with the palms up. My hands were different. I couldn’t tell how, but they were different.
Alex stayed in the open warehouse that we walked through to the dorms and I could hear weights clinking in a repetitive tone. “Hey.” Fancy got my attention.
“Yeah?” I answered back forcing myself to look away from my hands.
“You are pretty awesome.” She smiled as I chuckled.
“Yeah, okay.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m serious. If I almost died I wouldn’t have wanted to do it again. You are strong. And you are figuring out how to access your abilities.”
There was a pause as Striker came walking back into the dorms with a towel around his waist, and then a loud clink from the warehouse. I guess Fancy and I were both watching Striker walk through the room. Fancy let out a huge laugh when Striker walked past shaking his head. To be fair, he’s not bad to look at. I chuckled. “This is nice.” I said it out loud before I realized I had said it.
Fancy and Gauge looked over to me and Fancy spoke. “Yeah, it is.” She laughed. “Did you wanna shower next?”
I looked over to the showers; I was soaking wet and felt gross. “Umm, yep.” I got up and walked into the showers, starting the water and letting the steam build up for a moment. I still had a small scar on my head but it was basically healed. I lifted my shirt to look at where I got hit yesterday and there was nothing. At this point I was healing faster than I had ever healed myself, and I didn’t have a mate or family around.
I listened as they all talked about what they saw with me today. I didn’t know what they expect from me. I didn’t know how to be this savior that they need me to be. I was best at getting in the way and letting people I care about get hurt. I closed my eyes and shook my head. When I opened my eyes and looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes had a red hue as my vision changed to the same red that I see when emotionally heightened, and I could see that my hair was different. It had started to change color. The brownish auburn was almost gone, and now a deep auburn red tint appeared, making my hair look very dark. My mac tire had started to take over my physical traits as well as my psychological traits. If this continued I don’t think that I will even be able to recognize myself soon. I shook my head. I was disappointed that I wasn’t ever going to be someone that I would get to choose for myself.
I turned quickly to the shower and pulled off all my clothes, dropping them to the floor in a pile. It was hard to concentrate with them talking about me. Fancy sounded impressed and hopeful, Gauge agreed with Fancy, Striker talked about how much work I needed, and then there was Alex. I could hear him breathing, he was quiet and his heart jumped every time one of them said my name. It was almost like it hurt him to hear my name. What had Aodhan O’Dorcha done with Tommy’s soul? It changed Alex and now it’s hard to see him and not think about Tommy. And it hurts. That was it—all it took. My brother had been there for me and now he isn’t. I started crying in mourning, I slowly sat down in the shower with my knees curled up to my chest and I hugged onto my legs while I cried. It felt like hours but was really just seconds.
The shower curtain ripped open and Alex was standing there looking back and forth at me on the floor of the shower. I didn’t want to move. I was so overcome by the rage and sadness that I felt too exhausted to move. The water turned off and I felt his arms around my back and legs as he lifted me off the floor, and I reached around his neck with both of my arms. “I miss you.” My eyes were shut as he laid me into bed and pulled the blanket up around me.
I was almost asleep while I heard Fancy and Alex talking. “What happened?”
I heard a rustling. “I don’t know. We need some answers.”
I felt a pulling of the blanket when Fancy sat on the edge of the bed. “Will you sit here with her? I’m going to go call Aodhan.”
There was a slight movement on the bed. “Yes, of course.”
She stayed there the rest of the night while I slept restlessly with visions from my childhood, of me and Tommy all the way through just a couple of days ago. His death was in vain. He had a life to live. These flashes of memories were jolting me back and forth as they tightened the blanket around me to hold me down. I was hot and cold at the same time. I could feel myself falling through the ground as if it were pulled out from below my feet. I finally could feel myself start to calm as morning came. I opened my eyes and laid there for a moment looking aro
und. Fancy was at the foot of the bunk leaning up against the post completely asleep. Gauge was still asleep in the bunk next to me and Striker and Alex were nowhere to be seen. I sat up then reached for my bag pulling out a comfy T-shirt and pajama pants putting them on. I walked out of the dorms, and I could smell bacon coming from a room over to the right in the warehouse. I walked over to the door and opened it slowly to the kitchen. Maybe not your typical kitchen but it was homey.
“Hey, there she is,” Striker said as I walked through the door. “How’d you sleep?”
I looked around. “Okay, I guess.”
He was standing at a kitchen island at the stove and was holding a spatula in his hand while he picked up the bacon off the skillet and placed it on a plate. “Have a seat.” He looked over at a small table in the corner. I walked over and pulled out a chair to sit.
I looked at him. “Where’s Alex?”
He looked up from the skillet. “He will be back later.” Then he looked back down, placing some scrambled eggs on the plate.
It was quiet. “I don’t think he’s a big conversationalist,” I accidentally said out loud, chuckling.
“What?” He scoffed as he asked. He walked over and set down the plate in front of me and a mug with black coffee. “You know it’s not nice to not share with the rest of the class.”
I looked up at him and he nodded over toward the door where Fancy and Gauge were standing. Striker actually had a pretty good sense of humor. He needed to let it come out more often because he was so serious around them. I smiled at them as they walked in to get some breakfast.
Fancy came over to me and gave me a hug. “I’m so happy that you are okay. Are you okay?”
I nodded my head yes. “I think so, or at least I will be.”
She smiled at me. “You better. You’re part of the family.” I looked around at everyone and I felt it, happiness.
Crimson Secrets Page 26