Striker put his hands on my shoulders and turned me back to the cars. “Listen.” I had never seen my mother like that. She acted like a sociopath. She was completely indifferent to anything that she had done. I continued to watch my memories as my mother walked back to the car, Tommy and I were still crying, she looked in the visor mirror and fixed her hair and rubbed her finger over her lips. It looked like there was a small amount of blood that she wiped off. “That’s better.” She turned back to us as we started to quiet down. “What do you two want to eat for dinner?” She smiled at us.
Tommy put his hand in the air. “Macaroni and cheese.”
She smiled. “That sounds like a great idea. Let’s do mac and cheese.” Tommy was so excited as I stayed quiet and looked out the window at the white wolf while we drove away.
“Why a white wolf?” I asked them.
“It can manifest in many different ways. The white wolf is supposed to be a sign of light. It is good that your guide is fully white furred. It indicates many things. She has made peace with her sins, pureness of heart, and that she saw her death coming before she took her final breath.”
I shook my head. “How can this be a sign of good?”
They stood there. “She has truth for you,” Striker said in a confused whisper.
It started to rain while time passed. My memories were moving forward so fast. It was dark outside and my mother was in the kitchen while Tommy and I watched her cook dinner. My father walked through the front door, set his briefcase down by the couch, and set the umbrella behind the door. “Gosh, it’s raining a storm out there. The gods must be angry.”
I turned toward my mother when he said that.
She looked up in panic and laughed a worried sounding chuckle. “Yeah.”
He looked up at her. “How was your day?” She smiled as he came over to her and kissed her on the cheek.
“Pretty normal. I had to take the car into the shop. Someone keyed the driver’s side while I was in the store.”
He looked angry. “Just let me know how much it’s going to be.” He shook his head. “I don’t understand why this keeps happening.”
“I’m sorry, honey, I don’t know. I’ll start parking further away from the door. Maybe that will help,” she said with a smile.
I heard a bang from the table. “Mommy hurt the car.” I had smacked my hands on the table. I knew what happened, and I was trying to tell my father. “Yeah, when we came back out and I saw it, I hit my hand on the car.” She chuckled.
My father shook his head and walked over to us, giving me and Tommy kisses on the head. “I’m going to go shower, dinner almost ready?”
My mother smiled and nodded her head. “Yep.” He walked through the kitchen and up the stairs. I heard the water start, and then my mother walked over to me and Tommy. Her eyes glowed a slight red color as she spoke in a mesmerizing tone. “Memories have a way of vanishing.” She placed her hands over our faces. I took a step closer as I watched her remove my memories. It looked like they were pulled straight from our minds.
Lightning struck just outside the French doors of the kitchen. My focus was taken away from my mother, and I saw the white wolf standing in the rain just outside. I kept watching as the wolf bared her teeth and kept her eyes on my mother. I started to cry, the white wolf looked over at me. It was a weird moment. This white wolf could see me while I stood motionless, watching my own memories, and I saw her when I was little.
Alex nudged me forward. “Speak to her.”
I turned back to Alex. “What am I supposed to say?”
There was a flash of thunder and lightning so close to one another the storm had to be just overhead. The white wolf did not move when the lightning struck. My mother was spooked and jumped jerking her head to the doors. “Whew, that was close, Boogers.” She smiled and went back to plating the mac and cheese.
My father came walking down the stairs—his favorite gray T-shirt and maroon and black plaid pajama pants had a few water spots on them from his wet hair. He walked up to my mother and kissed her quick on the lips.
When he pulled away she looked at him a little surprised. “You feel better?”
He sat down at the table. “Yeah, I just needed to breathe, it was a long day at the office, Julius is trying to buy some property and the seller isn’t willing to see the bottom line and that his company is going under. It’s really the only way for him to walk away with any retirement.”
My mother didn’t look up at him as she spoke. “That’s enough about work.”
My father made a weird face and shook his head. It has always been this way. My mother never wanted to hear anything about work, but maybe it wasn’t about work, maybe it was about Julius. I was so captivated in all this new information that I hadn’t started to process any of it. As I thought hard about the conversations at the Callamore mansion I was having a hard time focusing on what was happening around me, everything started to blur, and I couldn’t tell what was real and what was fake.
The white wolf had grown and was now towering over me in a shadowing figure turning black and reaching for me with fingers that turned into a rope of shadows wrapping around my wrists. I began to breathe in deep. I couldn’t stop the panic in each breath. This was one of the most terrifying things that had happened. I didn’t know what she was going to do next. Alex and Striker tried to grab onto my other arm and pull me toward them, but I couldn’t feel their hands on me. This shadow creature that came so close to engulfing me had instantly turned into a light that was so bright I couldn’t see anything.
I heard Strikers voice loudly. “Shay!”
I was pulled back to Striker. I was inside the stone structure and Striker was on top of me with his palms on my chest. “Shay? Open your eyes.” I heard him so clearly.
I blinked twice to get my bearings. “What happened?”
Alex put his hand out to Striker’s shoulder and gently pushed him back. “You stopped breathing for a moment. Can you sit up?”
I thought for a second and nodded my head yes. I started to sit up and I felt how lightheaded I really was.
They looked at each other as Striker spoke to Alex. “We’re done. She can’t handle things like this yet.”
Alex agreed by shaking his head and then looked at me. “Will you be able to make it back to the Jeep?”
I looked at him. “I’m fine. Really.” I smiled. I’m pretty sure that every man alive now knows that the I’m fine actually means that I’m not, but I’m going to force myself through whatever the problem is because I’m going to prove that I can be strong. Why do women have to prove so much to men? Can’t a woman be strong, vulnerable, successful, determined, and irrational? I smiled softly to myself. I stood and forced myself out of the entrance to the stone structure. I stood just outside of the stone structure and let the daylight pour down on me. I opened my eyes and tried to take a step, my knee collapsed beneath my weight, Striker grabbed onto me and picked me up carrying me back to the Jeep. “I’m fine. I can walk myself.”
He didn’t look at me when he spoke. “I know. This just makes it quicker.” He smiled again. He set me down into the passenger side front seat of the Jeep. This was the first time that I had gotten to sit in the front seat. I must really look like crap. I scoffed.
“What?” Alex got into the Jeep behind me and looked at me as he got in.
I turned back to him. “Nothing. I was just thinking about the white wolf.”
He shook his head. “I honestly don’t know what to tell you. I’ve never seen the secret attack the memory’s owner before.”
I looked at him. “So are you telling me that there is something else for me to be worrying about?”
Striker came and hopped into the driver’s seat. “I don’t know. Normally you will learn something from your first memory walk in the passage-tomb.”
“I did,” I whispered, so quietly that they didn’t hear me.
I sat back in the seat and was silent thinking about what he had sa
id as Striker started to drive back to the warehouse. I finally got up the courage to ask. “I thought sweat lodges were mainly in Native American traditions?” I looked at Striker as he kept driving.
He looked over at me. “Yes and no. Sweat lodges, passage-tombs, they have been called many things with the same principal use for centuries by many cultures, but for Irish immigrants it is mainly for joint pain—especially for us, every joint will hurt. Passage-tombs have been used to relieve the pain and soreness.” He smiled again.
“Oh.” I watched as he stopped the Jeep right by the warehouse and he jumped out and came over to my side of the Jeep. He started to hold his hand out for me. “I swear to God if you try to help me out of this Jeep I will knee you in the balls. I am not weak or helpless.” He closed his hand together and took a step back. “Thank you.” I got out and walked through the workout area.
“Hey, Shay, make sure you drink a lot of water today.” I looked back at Striker.
“Yep, got it.” I walked into the kitchen and grabbed water out of the fridge. Striker and Alex walked in behind me. “Where are Gauge and Fancy?”
Alex spoke up first. “They must still be in the Eastern territory.”
I turned to him quick. “Isn’t that the territory that Edness Callamore is the Finich in?”
Alex nodded his head. “Yep.”
I looked at Striker and then back at Alex. “Was that the territory that Brandon was from?”
He nodded his head again. “Yep.”
I looked back at Striker and then to Alex. “You knew he was from my territory and you didn’t tell me? I didn’t—”
Striker cut me off. “You didn’t think that everything revolved around you, did you?”
My jaw dropped. “No, I…I just didn’t think—”
Alex spoke again. “There are hundreds of mac tires in the world. Our region happens to be pretty small in numbers. The hunters have maliciously attacked us for generations. Our species keeps disappearing and there hasn’t been anything that we can do about it. Until now. This is why you are so important. You will be the one to develop those abilities that can eliminate this threat.”
He spoke with such passion. I had never heard him like this. “Okay.”
Alex nodded his head. “Okay?”
I really didn’t know what else to say. “What do you want from me?”
Alex shook his head. “I don’t know.” Alex acted like he didn’t know what he wanted to say to me. I had too much to think about—what I had just seen in my own memory. I don’t remember any of it. It was hard to believe that my mother killed Eva Callamore and that Tommy and I had been there when she did it. Who else knows? I looked up at Striker that had been staring at me for a moment. He took a drink of his water. “It’s a lot to take in. I understand. But do not shut us out. We are here to talk through what happened.”
I looked at him. “I think it was pretty straight forward. Don’t you?”
He paused. “When your mother spoke of her son, was that Tommy she was speaking about? Did she know so long ago that he would be sacrificed?”
I looked back at him in a little anger. “I don’t think so. It sounded like I had another brother.” I walked out of the kitchen and passed by Alex watching me as our eyes met and did not leave each other’s line of sight until I had walked completely through the warehouse and out the door. I didn’t make it far. I opened the door and leaned up to the outer wall of the warehouse and just dropped to the ground. How will I ever find this brother that everyone had hidden from me? And why does he need to be hidden? My mother. I wonder if Julius and my mother had a child. That could be the only explanation. The door opened and Alex came out looking around. “Did you need something?” I spoke from the ground. He was spooked when I spoke.
“I just wanted to talk.” He sat down beside me. “I know that this was a lot of information for you to digest all at once.”
I looked at him. “I think I have another brother who is also Julius Callamore’s son, my mother murdered the mother of the two people I love the most in this world, and I have a white wolf that started to attack me in my own memories. So yeah, let’s talk.”
He smiled. “Well, to start out, everyone here cares about you. As for another brother. I don’t know. It’s possible I guess. The one person that would know and would tell you is Aodhan O’Dorcha. You should ask him about it. Your mother may just be inherently evil, and, yes, it looks like she murdered Eva Callamore. But that white wolf was trying to show you more and you were so overwhelmed by all the new memories that you couldn’t process it. That was your memory bringing you back to reality.” He smiled again.
“I think I need to talk to Aodhan O’Dorcha.”
He stood and reached his hand down for me. “Come on. We will try to get word to him. Let’s go back inside. I think Striker is making fully loaded burgers tonight.”
I smiled and reached for his hand. “Okay.” He let me open the door to the warehouse and he walked behind me back inside. Now I had even more to process. What was this white wolf trying to tell me?
➢28 Runaway
I woke the next day with a weird feeling. There wasn’t anything physically wrong with me, but I could feel something was different. I shrugged it off and continued with the day. We got into a routine and I followed along with everyone as if I had been there the whole time. It went like this for a few days as I learned more about Jiu-jitsu and the fighting technique. I had even started rolling with Fancy. I started building my strength. I could feel muscle build up in my arms and legs and my core was more solid. We worked hard and I could see a difference with the way that everyone was treating me. Alex kept his distance as we went through the physical training. He never looked at me for longer than he had to, he never talked more than he had to, and he never let himself get close.
Striker was working with me to meditate and try to relieve tension and stress from my decisions. I was having a hard time trying to make a decision that would affect so many lives, and I didn’t really know everything that was going on in the mac tire world. I felt like everything was getting better, but I was worried that when I used the sweat lodge again that I would learn more that I didn’t want to know. It almost kept me up at night, but lately I had been so focused on everything that my mother had hidden from me that I didn’t have time to worry about anything else.
That night we sat in the kitchen for dinner. Fancy, Gauge, and I sat at the table while Alex and Striker stood at the island. I was tired and I knew I needed sleep. “Hey, do you guys mind if I go get some sleep?”
Everyone looked over at me. Alex was surprised that I had asked. “If you need to.”
I looked at everyone. “I’m not feeling great.”
Everyone seemed okay with it except for Alex. I got up and walked out to the dorms quietly. After I put pajamas on, I lay down and was almost instantly asleep. It was the strangest feeling. I could feel myself being pulled in two different directions. One here with my new family and one back home that held my heart.
***
I was running. I didn’t know if I was asleep or awake. But I was running through the forest, but this time I knew this forest I was running through. I came up to the river that I had jumped across on more than one occasion. I kept running and came up to the edge of the forest where the Callamore mansion stood; it was different this time. The sky was gray and cloudy in an eerie way. I stepped into the clearing with my bare feet and continued walking toward the front door. I opened the door and stepped in. It was quiet. There were no servants, and Julius wasn’t in his study as I passed by it. Edness Callamore was sitting in a leather chair as I walked into the library. The door closed where she made a motion that she heard me and I continued to quietly walk in.
“My dear, now is not the time for pleasantries. She paused and when she paused I spoke. “Why am I here? What is this place?” She turned to me. “You are in my home. This is your subconscious and a form of your abilities in the aisling ag siùl. I have brought you
here for one reason. I needed to speak with you privately.” I walked over to a chair never letting her out of my sight and had a seat across from her. “My dear, I will get to the point. We were lied to. The Morrígan has Declan and Duncan. They have been gone for days now. She became angry when we let you leave, and she showed us her true self.” I was in a panic. Declan and Duncan were both in her hands. I don’t know what I would do without either of them.
“What is the plan to get them back?”
She shook her head. “My dear, there is no plan. She will kill them both if you do not surrender yourself to her.”
My eyes widened. “So you want me to sacrifice myself so that you have Declan and Duncan back? Then her plan has worked. She couldn’t use my parents or Tommy so she went after the only people left in this world that I would never forgive myself if anything happened to them.” I thought for a moment and became worried about Matt. “Is Matt all right?” She looked at me strangely. “Of course, Matthew is Angelica’s mate, he was ordered away with her just hours before the attack.”
That was good I guess. “Where are they?” She looked at me and responded with anger; I couldn’t figure out if it was for the fact that I wanted to know about her granddaughter’s mate or because I was asking more questions about Matt than Declan and Duncan.
“It’s better if you do not know.” We sat in silence for a moment as she gathered herself. “Shay, I need you to do what is right.”
I shook my head. “What is right? Really? How about this. You tell me how I can defeat her.”
Edness Callamore gently shook her head. “My dear, the Morrígan is a goddess. There is no way to defeat her.”
I stood. “No way?”
Edness Callamore watched as I paced back and forth in front of the chair. “No, my dear, the only person that could come close to knowing anything about the Morrígan is a sorcerer by the name of—”
Crimson Secrets Page 29