“My father should be coming back later this afternoon. He said the burials were hard for the rest of the region. Victor Gahlonaghan took the news harder than expected.” Declan explained.
I felt bad for Victor for a moment, but quickly remembered he was intending on holding me hostage until the Morrígan could do the same to me. Then I felt bad that I was the only one of the six of the Morrígan’s descendants to survive. I looked up at them trying to hold back my emotions.
“You okay?” Declan asked when I looked past him. I could see Striker walking through and he motioned for me to come with him. I didn’t answer Declan; I didn’t want to. I eased my way through my wall of guards and walked towards Striker.
“Wanna run?” He smiled at me and held his hand out for me.
I caught up to him, enthusiastically nodded and grabbed his hand. “Yes.” I said with relief.
“Shay? Wait.” Declan pleaded to get me to stop.
But I just wanted to run; the feeling of my bare feet on the cold frozen ground for those few steps in between my transition was the feeling of complete happiness. It was something that never could be taken away.
We walked out the front doors and Striker started to take off his shoes. “You can follow me.” He said smugly.
“Bet you can’t keep up with me.” I said back.
I looked down and started to remove my shoes and then saw him take off before me. I knew that he was going to try to win. I wanted to transition, it had been too long since last time. But I waited until I could get my feet onto the snow, only to have the snow just about melt in every direction around my skin. I knew that I had been hotter than normal lately, but this was a different kind of hot. I decided not to pay attention to it though; I just wanted to run.
I ran and then starting to feel the transition happen as I continued forward. I could feel the joints and muscles change around my bones and it stopped me. I was only at the edge of the woods when I stopped there, unable to fully transition and locked into a painful moment. I reached out then dropped my hand to the ground, “Strik—” I tried to call out for him. I remember a sharp pinch in my hip and neck and then there was black as I gasped for air.
***
“You cannot survive with two mates.” A female voice whispered in the air around my ears. My eyes opened to my mother standing over me. “Your heart will not take the pain of loving two.” I looked away from her. I was fuming at the sight of her and I wanted her to feel what I had been feeling. “These two boys aren’t worth your time.” She turned back to me within just a few inches of my face, and grabbing my chin and squeezing to assert authority over me. She pulled me closer, my neck was burning with pain of being stretched beyond its length. I was starting to get light-headed and needed to get away from her.
“You are not my mother.” I gritted softly through my tight jaw while I looked at her seeing a glint of something out of the corner of my eye. She loosened her grip on me and I cleared my throat and breathed deep.
“You will die.” She pulled her arm from behind her and I saw the blade of the Gael Fearg sword in her hand. Her image changed into the man that I feared—Cas Corach. He plunged the Gael Fearg sword into my chest and I tried to grab onto the cross-guard of the sword to pull it away. He dug it deeper into me and I felt the tip of the blade pierce through the skin of my back. I fell to the ground, blood covering my hands and now coming from my mouth and nose. I felt my eyes roll back into my head and my entire body hit the ground in one drop. I laid there with one breath left to breathe.
***
I opened my eyes to Striker standing over me at the edge of the woods. “Shay? What happened? You were right behind me.” He had knelt beside me.
I tried to sit up, but my muscles hurt so badly. Every inch of me felt heavy and strained so that I couldn’t move with normal ease. I was cold; in fact, I felt like I was freezing and trembling with fear.
“Nothing. I’m okay.” I gritted through chattering teeth.
He looked at me knowingly, I knew he could tell I was lying. I felt like I needed to reassure him that I was all right, “No, I promise I’m fine.” He continued to question me with his examining eyes.
“Fine.” He helped me stand and we walked. He seemed to be genuinely worried about me. It had to be Striker, right? Or was I dreaming again? Would he attack me too?
From that moment on the sky looked like it started to get darker—grayer. My world was changing in front of me and I couldn’t do anything to stop what was happening. Was this what Julius Callamore had warned me about? Was it time for me to pick one of them? I heard a stick snap and turned my head quickly around. There was no one there. I was questioning everything and everyone. I just thought on top of everything else it seemed like I was going crazy.
He turned back around and looked at me, cocking his head slightly to the side and said, “let’s just walk.” He knew I wasn’t ready to return to the mansion and I had played off the “I’m fine”, as far as I was aware.
I shook my head and he started walking into the woods. I turned and looked back at the Callamore’s mansion and there was a hollowed gray tint that cast the exterior like a scene from my nightmare. I saw Declan outside the Callamore’s mansion standing and just watching us. I turned around to look at Striker. Could I still be in a nightmare and unable to wake up? What if I don’t know what is real anymore? I questioned myself if it was actually him, I looked him in the eyes before I could start walking. Then I took just two steps closer to him never breaking eye contact.
“How do I know that it is really you?” I asked.
He looked at me with surprise. I had never seen that from him, he always had his composure and rarely showed any signs of emotions in himself. That was one thing which I knew about him that made this seem more real.
“What happened?” He questioned, never breaking eye contact from me.
“Are you real or is this a reality that I have dreamt up?” I continued to look at him and could feel tears starting to form in my eyes. He took a step towards me, his arms out, then reaching around me he pulled me closer.
“I. Am. Sorry.” He spoke clearly, a distinct pause between each word.
I rested my head on his chest. I don’t picture myself as a weak person that is overly emotional. But for some reason, feeling him close—the comfort, I knew he was real and that I was safe. I sighed in relief.
“Let’s take that walk. I find that I get a certain satisfaction from fresh air.” He said releasing me but kept his hands tightly on my shoulders, “Okay?”
I nodded my head and we started to walk out into the woods. The conversation was quiet for the most part. Striker talked about the Callamore property and the surrounding area. It was your typical awkward how’s the weather conversation. He avoided the one topic that he wanted to actually talk to me about until he couldn’t any longer. Even with Striker’s Zen-like temperament her was still anxious and on guard.
I knew he had found his peace after a horror story of a childhood and now he tries to help those that need to find their own salvation.
“What have your nightmares been about?” He asked with certainty, like he knew there was something truly happening that was out of my control.
I didn’t hesitate to tell him. Striker had always made me feel comfortable. I knew I could trust him not to go tell Alex. “It’s been different each time. There is always someone I trust and then Cas Corach appears out of nowhere and he thrusts the Gael Fearg sword into me. It ends one way or another and I wake in a panic, but it hurts each time I’m run through with that sword. And I can’t fight it. My body won’t let me.”
Striker looked down at me, “You know the Gael Fearg sword has had no known survivors. It is possible what you are experiencing is only the manifestation of the powers of that sword.”
Manifestations? Those were intense manifestations. Sweating and pain. Hell would have been easier to crawl through. With all the new supernatural things that have been brought into my world in the l
ast few months I figure adding a mystical sword that can manifest hallucinations to its victims is just one more thing. “So how would I get it to stop?” He shook his head not knowing an answer. “Okay, what if it isn’t a manifestation of the sword?” I asked.
He looked at me, “Then we have something we will have to work out.” He paused, “but we will work it out.” He smiled at me with his characteristic half smile. I’m still not sure if he does it to hide who he really is or maybe he is self conscience about his teeth. This small quirk was the reason I could tell it was real, he was my friend, and not an illusion that would kill me.
“Okay.” The word came out in a whisper. I hadn’t even realized I had let it come out until after it had.
He had walked me out almost to the river where just a several nights ago I was faced by my fears and this sword that is haunting my dreams. I stopped in my tracks, “Why did you bring me here?” I aggressively snapped.
He looked around from side to side, “This is just a place. It isn’t something that can hurt you or is something that you should fear. Close your eyes.”
I looked at him like he was crazy, “Seriously?”
He scoffed, “Seriously.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
I looked around almost seeing the ghosts as they reenacted the battle.
“Come on. I am right here.” He said as he held out his hand for mine. I closed my eyes. “Okay, listen very carefully.” I was completely silent and listened.
“I don’t hear anything.” I said sarcastically opening my eyes only to roll them.
“Exactly. Now listen to nature all around us.” He spoke in a clam collected way. I was annoyed and in awe he was able to calm himself when there were all these things going on around him.
Everything I was now hearing was simply nature; the river was barely making a sound from under the ice and snow, the wind was slight and blew just east of us, and the trees had no leaves left on them so the branches tapped against each other. It was really quite nice to hear just about nothing. I opened my eyes and everything that I had seen in gray tones had brightened; I felt a weight lifted off my chest and I took a deep breath in. Striker had figured out a way to center my irrational thoughts and ground me to reality.
“There isn’t anything I can do to change what has already happened, but you are stronger than we realized and now you are proven to have the strength and heart of a true savior. You are meant for greatness whether you think you are or not.” He said, looking me in the eyes and making sure I understood.
Sometimes he speaks with more knowledge in the current experiences than he wants us to figure out. I would not choose to know his past. All I know is he is the one with the true darkness.
I turned to look at him, “Thank you.” I took another deep breath in, and looked back at the river where I had been hung from a tree to be slaughtered.
“It won’t change your past.” He spoke in a grunt of past pain.
“What won’t?” I questioned his words.
“Reliving the pain will not change the past, it will only keep you from living your future.” He sighed and turned to walk away. I thought that there was more he wanted to say, but I would never make him talk about what pains him. I know whatever it is he has gone through has changed him into the man he is. He is willing to do all of this for someone he had only met about a month ago. He is a warrior—he fights and stands by those that he now calls family. I took another deep breath in. The cold air was making me feel better just by breathing it.
“Are you ready to go back?” He looked down at me.
“I think so.” I sighed out.
I knew by going back into the mansion it would be hard to breathe and even harder to trust those that had betrayed me so recently. He turned and started to walk back to the mansion, I looked back at the river and felt as if Cas Corach had just tore through my skin and waited for death. That pain brought me back to reality as I breathed in with a staggered breath and I hurried to catch up with Striker.
“Will it ever get easier?” I asked him knowing the answer.
“No. One day it will just become part of your day and then you won’t be saddened by it when you think about the events. It will only be a distant memory and a thought of what would they be like now.” The tone held fatherly sorrow. His voice made me sad. I knew he had been through something unbearable and he was letting me get closer to the answer. This made me appreciate Striker even more. He always knew what I was talking about even if it didn’t include all the information. Sometimes I think of him as if he were an old man speaking Chinese proverbs, maybe some inspirational Hallmark card, but he just has had more experience in his life than most.
I kept walking back to the mansion behind him never really catching up with him as we walked silently. I looked up at the side of the Callamore’s mansion when we reached the edge of the woods. At that point Striker had waited for me to walk back together. The mansion still had its grayed tint and an eerie look like in my nightmares. I stopped when we got just a couple steps out of the woods.
“It’s not going to change.” Striker spoke definitively to reassure me.
“I get it.” I quipped sarcastically.
We walked back close by each other and as I looked up again I saw Declan still on the stone patio with his arms crossed over his chest watching us walk back.
“He doesn’t look happy.” Striker said.
I was pretty sure he was enjoying that Declan looked unhappy but I wasn’t going to say anything. Striker sped up and just about jumped up the steps in a jog and smiled at Declan, then put his hand on Declan’s shoulder and said, “She’s all yours now.” And he passed him walking in through the door.
I looked up at Declan’s aggressive expression. “What the hell is going on?” He demanded of me.
I cocked my head and looked back at him with aggravation. I also decided I would not be answering him. Instead, I walked past him and followed Striker into the mansion leaving Declan standing alone on the stone patio.
Striker had gone into check on Fancy. And that’s where I wanted to be. I followed him down into the infirmary as he opened the door I saw Gauge sleeping in a chair in the corner of the room. He must have been up all night. Fancy had woken at some point but was silent to not wake Gauge up. She waved when we walked in.
“Shhh, I can’t bear to wake him.” She smiled and motioned for us to come in.
I reached around her to give her a hug and asked, “How are you feeling?”
She shook her head up and down ever so slightly. “Good. Striker fixed me up really well and Nate has been super nice. He also has really amazing pain killers.” We both laughed just a bit.
“I still can’t believe that you guys came for me. I am so thankful for all of you.” I sat on the edge of the bed and kept my arm around Fancy. I heard a rustling in the chair, “and you, Gauge.” I turned to him making sure that everyone else knew he was up.
“Can’t surprise any mac tire. Frickin’ heightened hearing.” He said with a laugh.
“What?” I chuckled. It was nice to have that moment to pull me away from everything else going on with me.
“Hey, where’s Nomad?” Gauge questioned standing up and walking over to us picking up Fancy’s hand and bending down to give her a kiss. They are so very cute together. It made me want to vomit and feel jealous all at the same time.
“Last we saw him, he was exchanging pleasantries with Duncan.” I figured that was the best way to say it. I heard a shuffling in the hall just outside the room, “and he will be exchanging pleasantries with us in three two one…” I pointed at the door.
“Haha… very funny Shay.” He looked over at Fancy. “How are you feeling? Will you be good to travel soon?” He said always so serious.
“Are you wanting to leave?” I questioned him.
“Yes. You are not safe here. The Farm has more protection and people know less of the whereabouts. Remember Aodhan had placed a protective enchantment over the Farm’s prop
erty. We need to get you out of here. No one knows when or where the Morrígan will attack next.” Alex said confidently to reassure everyone that he is right.
“No! You can’t leave.” Duncan voiced from the doorway.
“We have to leave. She isn’t safe here.” Striker commanded.
It was unusual that he spoke in the way that he did. I knew that they wanted to get out as quickly as possible, even if the Callamore’s were trying to make us comfortable. Alex and Striker moved in front of me to guard me from Duncan walking forward.
“Stop. Both of you. If Striker and Nomad believe that it’s not safe here, then it’s not. We will leave when Fancy can travel.” I made sure that I spoke with a tone of elegance and order to my voice. It was also weird calling Alex “Nomad”. I felt my heart speed up, it could have been from Duncan, but I knew that there was a real possibility that Declan wasn’t far behind. I pushed Alex and Striker out of my way, “We are not meant to stay here. The trust that I once had is no longer there. I need to get back to The Farm and to continue with my training. The fight isn’t yet over.” I looked straight into Duncan’s eyes.
“What about graduation? You have wanted that since I met you. And I can’t take not being by your side. I made the challenge and it has to be upheld. I will stay by your side.” He managed to get close enough to me to reach for my hands.
His words hit me. I wanted to graduate. It was my biggest goal. It was an achievable goal. Or at least I had thought it was. Now, I’m not so sure. I turned to Striker with a worried look, “Shay will stay with us and we will leave when Fancy can travel and that is the end of this.”
I didn’t know what to tell everyone, it was bad enough that I was having these nightmares and having trouble distinguishing reality from hallucinations. But now there is a possibility I can’t transition into my mac tire form. I walked out of the infirmary. There wasn’t anything left for me to say. “Don’t follow me.” I said waving them all away. I turned the corner and within just a couple of steps Declan grabbed my arm pulling me close and putting his hand over my mouth.
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