by Emjay Soren
I cleared my throat. “Sorry, what sweetie?”
“I asked if you thought of adding anything to it.”
Oh duh… the tattoo. “No, just basic and simple.”
“Classic. It suits you.”
I smiled and walked away when the phone started ringing and Bobby stepped back behind the enormous desk. I passed Chad’s space and smiled before drawing my brows in silent assessment of the tatterfly on his table. Look at that, there is a girl for each day of the week, I wanted to say. Instead I just smirked to myself and walked over to Noah.
“Okay, spill it.” Noah said loudly. For a split second I thought I was busted for flirting with Chad. “What are we doing?”
I took a deep breath and felt the relief that he still doesn’t know. He might suspect, but I’m clear for now. All he cares about this instant is the secret behind my tat.
I reached in my purse and opened an envelope that contains the words I want across my ribs. Words that symbolize it all.
You were always so far away
I know that pain, so don't you run away
Like I used to do
The minute Noah reads the lyrics, I can see they’ve touched him deeply. They’re from an Alice in Chains song called ‘Brother’. After our move to Gig Harbor I saw the effects of the abuse in Noah, so I started singing it to him. Now I sang it whenever he was in a mood.
“Damn, sissy. You gut me sometimes.” He said in a soft voice.
I explained where I want the tat and Noah got to work on my piece. When he was about halfway through, he’s dialed into what he’s doing, and I know his focus is on my skin and the meaning behind it. Right now he thinks his little sister is sweet and awesome and special, so it’s the perfect time to ask, demand really, that he back off a little.
“Bubba?” I asked in my gentle, do-not-disturb voice using my childhood name for him.
“Hmm?”
“I’m coming to your next gig.”
I bit my lip and waited for his reaction; it’s like he hasn’t even heard me. But he paused slightly and I heard him take a deep breath when I asked, so I know he did. Right now though, he looks like there ain’t a care in his world.
I see Chad from the corner of my eye, his eyes are on me waiting for Noah’s response. Now he knows that I’m making my move. I can’t breathe with the look on his face.
When Noah speaks it doesn’t shock me one bit.
“No. You’re not.” His tone and the rigidness of his shoulders tell me I have lost the battle, but not the war.
The damn war hasn’t even started yet.
Noah seemed to be tuned out the rest of the session and I let him focus and think, hoping he would come around. He’d seemed shut off lately, and though he was like that a lot, he was never like that with me. Lately though, he was never around and when he was, he was either sleeping or being a complete jerk. It hurt that he acted like that, but in the end it was going to make it a lot easier to seduce me some Chad.
Chad
"Ah, dish duty." I say as I come in the back doors of The Joint looking for my girl. I see her startles and rub a hand over her ribs that Noah tattooed today. “How’s it feel?” I ask because it shouldn’t be near dish water right now and no matter how deep I am into her, I wont let her risk infection or destroy what I guarantee is a perfect tattoo.
“Fine, I was just worried if it was staying dry.”
“Dishes probably weren’t the best job tonight. Want me to look?” I had to play everything cool here because I was about to raise serious hell.
She shakes her head no and goes back to work and it pisses me off. I hate how much she works and by God I hope I am about to change that. “Let me guess you picked up the shift?”
She shrugs. "I wanted it. It’s slow tonight and it’s easy money."
The fucking pier is empty because of the rain and with six other employee’s here she could definitely close early. "Think you'll be out soon?"
My stomach dropped before a horde of butterflies started jumping and fluttering about in my She paused washing and I watched as she took a deep breath before looking at me. "Yeah. We’re waiting till eight. If we don’t get anything by then, we’ll close up shop."
I take my hat off to shake the water off it, to prove how dead it is on the pier tonight. "The pier is empty, not a soul in sight, same with Main."
"Good." She muttered and I knew she was tired by the way she relaxed knowing she was off soon. I wanted to help her get out too so I took off my jacket, grabbed the hose and rinsed as she washed. "You don’t need to help, Chad. That’s what nights off are for."
"Yeah, but if I help, you get out of here faster, then maybe we can hang out." Fuuuuuuuck me… I did it. I asked her.
She seemed to think about that for a fucking year, I swear to God.
"Hang out?" She finally asked and I knew it was a test. Old player in the same old ass game. I knew what she was getting at and I was gonna make it damn clear.
"Yeah, a date I guess, even though it’s short notice. No big deal if you don’t want to, I just thought maybe we could see what it was like to raise hell against your brother?" I wink at her and smile knowing she wants to. She wants me just as much. I’m her Romeo, and unlike the pussy from the story I would stick around. “You down?”
She licks her lips, nervous or excited didn’t matter, both were good signs. “What did you have in mind?"
"The band’s gonna hang out and drink some beers over at Shamus James cabin on Sammamish. Nothing too exciting, I know, but I figured if you were free...." I let the words hang in the air and watch her. This was where I had to go all in and give her what she doesn’t think I can.
“You said I had to separate you from the fangirls and tatterflie’s, so I figured this was the best way. I’ve never taken a date to a party… with the band… and all the other artists… and whatever.” I shrug my shoulders and wait. She wanted real, well there it is. That was the truth. I never bring a date to anything. Even my prom. I went solo and out with Chetney Brown. This was game changing and I prayed she knew that.
Finally, she looked at me and smiled.
"Sure, can I change first?"
Be cool you fuck, be cool.
"Yeah, I can pick you up in an hour?"
She bit her lip with a smile and nodded.
“I’ll text Noah and let him know that I’ll be there to get you guys by nine.” I have my phone out and text Noah.
Picking you and Carrie up at 9. She is my date tonight and you better suck it up. Shit just got real big brother.
“Where is your phone, Carrie?”
“In my purse. Why?” I grabbed her phone and started putting my number in her phone like I have wanted to forever. My phone started ringing as I hit send on my text to Carrie. I hit the answer button and held my phone to my side so he could hear.
“All in, Carrie. If we do this we’re both all in, agreed?” I said loud and clear with all seriousness in hopes Noah heard me.
“Yeah, of course.”
I hear a muffled ‘Fuck!’ from my phone and smile knowing Noah heard every word. I lean in feeling like I am the king of the world and kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear to check her phone and I will see her in an hour.
*
“Are you fucking high?” Noah roared through the phone.
“Dude, it is happening. Get over it.” I say as I hop in my truck and put him on my Bluetooth speaker while my windshield wipers get to work on the rain.
“Think the fire is still a go in this rain?” I ask, just because it feels good to fuck with him.
“You are not taking my sister to a fucking pussy party Chad.”
“I mean, it is really coming down out here.” I continue as he rages. Best to let him get it out.
He says silent for a few minutes uttering a curse here and there while he fights with himself over it. “You don’t know her man. You don’t know her favorite flower, or song… you know what we let you know. You cant take that and run. She i
s layered, Chad and not a whore!”
“Let me start off saying a loud, I fuckin know. I will learn as I go and never in a million years would I treat her-
“I know. I know you wouldn’t. She’s…fuck she is nowhere near ready for you, feel me?”
“I do.” I say and realize she is a virgin and as scary as that is, it is fucking awesome because that guy named after a car from last year didn’t get close.
“Good.”
“It will be okay Noah. It is just a date.”
“Chad Blake doesn’t fuckin’ date!” He yells and as understanding as I can be knowing he wants to protect her, he needs to understand where I am coming from too.
“And now he fuckin’ does. You are gonna accept this Noah. It’s happening. Dig real deep and remember who the fuck I am and if I would play her dirty, the real me?”
“Knowing it’s you is the problem.” He says without an ounce of cruelty and only fear.
“Well, sit back and watch then. Ill prove you wrong. You decide you want to get on board this moving train I’ll see ya at nine.” I say and end the call. I didn’t have time for this drama. I had flowers to find and a date to get ready for.
Chapter Five
Carrie
The storms that had moved through the area earlier in the evening had caused a widespread power outage. I figured the night would be a bust, but in no time at all the guys had a fire going and a few of the trucks had flipped on their lights as we all exited the cabin. The rain had stopped but the air was thick with humidity. The whole band had shown up and the rowdy boys from the tattoo shop were all there as well, in true form, with a woman on one arm and a beer in the other.
Shamus lived in the small cottage on the biggest lake outside of Gig Harbor. His dad was a wealthy crabber and his mom had died two years before from breast cancer. The cottage had become the secondary summer hangout for all the bad boys in our little town. Shamus spent as much time here as possible, away from the rest of his family, the result of a failed and empty parent child bond between he and his dad. Shame wanted music and Jerry wanted him to follow in the family business.
The shining point in Shame’s world was his girlfriend Cassa. They were inseparable and she was the only girl who was around on a regular basis to see all the shit that happened at these parties. She was a close friend of mine, but when summer came, we only saw each other when Shame was around. Cassa went to UW with me and Candy for photojournalism. You never saw her without a camera in her hand.
“Hey, Sass.” I said with a smile, using the nickname that Shame had given her when they first got together.
“Hey, Carrie. How’s the summer going so far?” Jesus, her, and Shame were practically undressing each other while she tried talking to me.
“Good.” I was uncomfortable watching them eye fuck each other.
“How did you talk Noah into letting you come?” She asked and eyeballed Shame. I could tell she was trying to be polite and carry on a conversation, but Shamus had other ideas.
“Chad just told him I was coming.”
Both Shamus and Cassa laughed and Shame swooped Cassa up and headed for the cabin, yelling “Good luck, fucker” over his shoulder to Chad, who just laughed.
Chad was the biggest and baddest of them all, with a reputation that I’m sure even married women still whispered about when their husbands weren’t paying attention. The fact that he’d asked me to join him tonight, as his date, was both terrifying and exciting. But I had a feeling his reputation was why Noah was having such a big issue with it.
I sat on the back of Chad’s truck with a cheap can of Pabst in one hand and Chad’s hand in my other. He’d taken my hand the instant we sat down on the tailgate of his Ford. I could feel the burn of the blush on my cheeks and the butterflies inside were on a full tilt spin, but I didn’t care. He had done all the first date stuff.
He’d brought me flowers from one of the many vendors along the 405. He had opened my door and helped me from the truck. He was a gentleman and attentive all night, even when Noah tried to make him feel like shit. The flowers he’d brought me were wild and beautiful and wrapped in newspaper, Noah informed him that my favorite flower wasn’t in the mix. When he opened my door and helped to lift me inside the cab, Noah told him to stop trying to feel me up. Chad took it and smiled, muttering a ‘fuck you’ in Noah’s direction.
He got me my beer and introduced me as his date. Not like a single person there didn’t know who I was. Noah said nothing to that, just rolled his eyes and reached around and groped Candy’s ass. Chad told Noah to get over himself before taking me by the hand and leading to his truck with our beers in hand. It was a total ‘no one puts Baby in a corner’ moment.
I could feel Noah’s death glare directed at Chad. I had batted my lashes and begged when I got home earlier. Before Chad had arrived I calmly and sweetly asked my big brother to be nice and understanding.
The fact that Chad wasn’t worried made me feel a bit calmer about the whole situation. I had been hoping that he had talked to Noah at some point and let him know that I would be joining the party tonight. He hadn’t and that was why there was so much tension when he had picked me up.
It probably didn’t help that with the way Noah was acting, Chad left him to drive himself instead of riding with us. Normally I would take Noah’s side, right or wrong. This time though, it was about me, and I was sick of his coddling me.
For now Noah was playing nice, but he’d said, and I quote, “My feelings are subject to change, per sibling rules, I-E, anytime I fucking feel like it.” End quote.
Ugh….brothers!
Chad and I fell into easy conversation. We talked about the band quite a bit. It turns out the adage about ‘assuming anything about someone makes an ass of u and me’ was ringing true. Chad was far from what I had initially assumed him to be. I should have known better than to judge him so quickly. I had once assumed that all dads were good, moms too.
Thinking of my mom, I remembered her smile and what her voice sounded like. Every time I allowed myself to think about her I would experience a series of flashes through my mind, terrible reminders that my mom is gone forever, had been gone for what seemed like forever. I used to wonder all the time if she knew the devil she married, or if she died thinking our dad was a good man. But she had been alive to see the bruises on Noah and know where they came from. Now life’s biggest question for me would forever be wondering if she was just as twisted as our dad was. I risk a glance at Noah and give him a smile that only he would understand. His brows immediately draw in, but I give my head a subtle shake to let him know I am fine.
I drew my attention back to Chad, who couldn’t have been farther from the assumption I had made of him. He was brilliant, loved science and history and I found myself in awe of him, shocked that, to me, he had quickly become more than just a pretty face.
He asked about my college life, in and out of the dorm. I told him I was an English major with dreams of becoming a writer. “What type of writing?” He asked leaning into my shoulder as if interested in every word I said. I was so totally eating it up.
“I am officially an aspiring author in the romance genre.”
“Romance, huh?” He asked with a sexy little smirk. “What on earth could Carrie Becket know about romance?”
The tone of his voice and the implication behind it both offended and turned me on.
“Probably more than you, based on the stories I hear from all your women.”
He gave me a light hearted chuckle. “Stories, Carrie, just stories.”
I give a disbelieving hmpf and roll my eyes. “It kills me that you think because Noah won’t allow me into the shows or to your parties, that I haven’t seen you guys in action.” Seriously, he was as bad as Noah thinking I was clueless.
“Oh, please enlighten me, Carrie, on what you saw when I was in said ‘action’.” He air quoted the word action, cocky ass!
“Oh, wow, where to begin? I have, on several occasions, b
een on the pier the last two summers, and even before college. I saw at least twenty different girls playing ‘what flavor are my tonsils’ with you. One even fought with you after making out with you. She started screaming and slapped you in the face.” I could see the recognition of the fight that happened last summer as if it had happened yesterday. There was a flicker of something else that crossed his face, too. Sadness? It was quickly gone as he smiled and laughed.
“I like women, Carrie, it’s normal. I’m single, healthy, happy and in a band. I have never felt ashamed of the reaction I get from women, yet you make me feel like a slimeball for kissing them.” He sounded insulted.
“Well, my intention wasn’t to make you feel like a slimeball, Chad. I have seen more redeemable qualities in you than bad ones. I just think that when you fly through women pieces of gum, spitting them out when the flavor is gone….well, that’s one of the few bad qualities you have.” Before he could respond I leaned in and cupped his face in my hands. “I don’t care about the other girls though, Chad. I just care to not be one of them.”
“You really don’t get it do you?” He asked with his cheeks still squeezed in my hands. Even with his face smooshed between my hands, he was still the most attractive guy I’d ever seen.
“What is there to get? That you’re ready, willing, and able for any woman who is willing to flash her gash for a shot with you? I get it, Chad, because Noah is the same way, but I am not one of those women. I like you, Chad and that terrifies me.”
He gave me a lopsided, boyish grin and I melted. His smile always had that effect on me, because when it comes down to it, I’m just a stupid girl.
“Carrie girl it terrifies me too, but that’s not what I meant.” Cupping my face in his hands, he leaned down and my heart stopped. “What I meant was that you are the opposite of those girls. They were fillers on cold nights, drunken flings, and some utterly amazing, awesome, empty sex. I don’t want empty anymore, Carrie. I want you.” Then he dropped a kiss to my forehead and pulled back, waiting for my response.