“Can you talk to me about why being here is making you upset, sweetheart?”
“Um, yeah.” Seth worried the handle of the shopping bag. “I won’t say it’s dumb, even though it seems that way to me. I’m an adult. I understand the trauma part of what I go through. You’ve discussed those issues with me, and Dr. Clay brought them up as well. I can see how that won’t go away so easily. But this…” Seth stared at the floor as he shifted on his feet. He growled. “This is dumb. It wasn’t abuse. It was just me being a baby. I don’t know why I’m acting like this.”
Malcolm ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Seth. But I still don’t understand what you’re talking about. What’s dumb exactly?”
Seth raised his head but still wouldn’t face Malcolm. He gazed off to the side as if Malcolm might judge him harshly for what he was about to confess. “We never had any toys at Christmas, not really.” He let out a derisive snort as he shook his head. “See? Dumb. I’m twenty-three years old. Who cares?”
“It’s not dumb, sweetheart.” Malcolm inched closer to Seth, taking his hand but making sure the shopping bag hid them. He wanted to comfort Seth, but making him self-conscious would defeat his intent. “I imagine you went through a lot of sadness over that as a child. Those feelings, if never resolved, stick with you—even though you’re an adult now. That’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s completely understandable. Did you receive anything at Christmas? Or other occasions, like birthdays?”
Seth held on to Malcolm’s hand tighter. “We got things. Not much, but we’d still get presents. Primarily new clothes or shoes, but when we were younger, we got my father’s idea of toys. BB guns or tools. And I don’t mean those kid’s tool sets, you know, pretend stuff. No, he’d give us an actual wrench.”
Malcolm snorted a laugh before he could stop himself. “God, I’m sorry Seth. It’s not funny.”
The corner of Seth’s mouth quirked in a smile. “Yeah, it is. He was ridiculous.”
Malcolm cleared his throat then scrubbed his face with one hand to get a hold of himself. “Regardless of how ridiculous he is, your feelings are valid.”
Seth leaned against him, but just barely. The action seemed unconscious, but Malcolm took it to mean that he needed as much support from his Daddy as he could get.
“Thank you, Daddy. I think…” Seth furrowed his brow. “I think maybe that was when it began. You know, with him viewing me differently than my brothers. I was the one who would ask for stuffed animals or books or puzzles, while they were asking for the BB gun or a bow and arrow set.” Seth hitched a breath and he tipped his head back as if a sudden rush of emotion had hit him. “Gosh, this is crazy.”
He sniffed then faced Malcolm, a lone tear trailing down his cheek. “My mother had given me a teddy bear when I was really small. I can’t remember the occasion, maybe a birthday. It was my favorite possession and I carried it with me everywhere. The day…”
He hiccupped a sob then slapped a hand over his mouth, turning his back to the rest of the store. Malcolm placed a hand on Seth’s upper back, not caressing or patting, but remaining still in a gesture of support. Letting his boy know he was there, that he wasn’t alone.
Seth continued, “On the day my mother died, the very moment he came back from the hospital, he marched into my room and snatched the teddy bear out of my arms. I’d taken to cuddling with it a lot after my mother got sick.” Another tear fell. “I was so scared, especially after she went to the hospital. I loved her so much.”
Malcolm swallowed past the lump in his throat. He couldn’t fathom why people such as Seth’s father ever had children at all.
“I’m more sorry than I can express, baby. That was a horrific thing for him to do. I can’t imagine why he felt compelled to take the bear from you.”
Seth sighed. “I didn’t understand at the time either, of course. But now I’m sure it was related to him wanting to toughen me up, that having the bear wasn’t any different in his eyes than having a doll. Again, with me being the oldest, I had to set an example for my brothers. Boys don’t have stuffed animals. Boys don’t sleep with teddy bears.”
Malcolm wished he’d known about Seth’s childhood Christmas’ before he’d had the bright idea to go to a toy store. When he’d first brought up the holidays, Seth had only shown excitement, so he hadn’t thought to dig any deeper. Clearly, he’d been wrong. If he’d analyzed things better, he would’ve made a reasonable assumption that Christmas with Seth’s father hadn’t been peppermint drops and candy kisses.
“We don’t have to shop for these toys right now, and you don’t need to do it at all if you don’t want to. I can come back later on my own.”
Seth shook his head vehemently. “No. My first reaction when you told me about the toy drive was excitement. I thought, wow, I can pick out the toys I would’ve liked to have, and I can make sure another kid gets them.” The muscles in Seth’s jaw ticked. “My father can’t take anything away from me again. I won’t let him.”
Malcolm had to smile despite how much his chest hurt from Seth’s tale. “I’m incredibly proud of you right now, Seth. You’re so brave, have such a loving heart. Your father should be ashamed for not recognizing what a remarkable son he has.”
Seth’s eyes glimmered, his lip trembling as he finally held Malcolm’s gaze. “Had. I no longer consider him my father. I don’t accept anyone from that place as being my family anymore. That part of my life is over forever.”
“You’ll never be without love, sweetheart.” Malcolm brought Seth’s knuckles to his lips, kissing them before lowering their joined hands. “I’ll see to that.”
Seth’s features lightened and he regarded Malcolm with a wistful smile. “Thank you, Daddy.”
Malcolm squeezed his hand. “Are you ready to pick out some toys?”
“Yes, I’m ready. I really want to.”
“Okay then. Where should we start?”
Seth stepped out from behind the stack of shelves and glanced around the store. His gaze lighted on something and he pointed.
“There. The stuffed animal section.”
Malcolm pressed his hand to the small of Seth’s back. “Stuffed animals it is.”
Chapter Six
Malcolm clutched the steering wheel of his SUV in an iron grip as he drove to Nate’s office. Two detectives—one from Boise and one from Twin Falls—would be waiting there to get more information about Seth’s former church and the conversion camp he’d escaped from. He’d received a call the day before from Nate, advising him the officers wanted to speak with Seth and that they’d requested Malcolm’s contact info.
Malcolm still wasn’t keen on having Seth get involved, to maybe have to testify and face his father or any of the other church members. The thought of that alone almost gave him a panic attack. Seth’s reaction hadn’t been much better. Nate had cautioned Malcolm that the investigators would insist on Seth’s involvement and that his statement would be the best chance they had at stopping those monsters.
He knew Nate was right. That didn’t mean he had to like it.
However, he had insisted on two conditions. He didn’t want the detectives at the house—that was Seth’s sanctuary. And for the first interview, he would meet with them alone. Malcolm needed to get a feel for what they already knew and how much Seth would likely have to be involved. If necessary, he would arrange for Dr. Clay to be available to do a phone session. Nate had been kind enough to offer up the conference room at his firm for them to use.
Malcolm turned into the lot of Nate’s law practice. His office was located in a quieter area of Eugene, and not on a main thoroughfare. As soon as Malcolm shut off the engine, he texted Seth that he’d arrived. He’d promised to stay in regular contact all day, with updates whenever he had any.
Because the discovery that he’d have to speak against the church had left Seth quite rattled, before leaving the house Malcolm had left a list of specific tasks he expected to be completed befor
e he returned. Seth had to do one assignment in his online math block that counted toward his GED, launder all the towels and sheets and chop up the vegetables for the stir fry Malcolm would be making for dinner.
He waited for Seth to acknowledge his text, smiling when he received a message back right away. He wrote he was doing fine and couldn’t wait to have Malcolm’s stir fry. Malcolm could tell how brave his boy was trying to be.
After locking up his vehicle, Malcolm crossed the short distance of the lot to the front of the two-story building. Nate’s firm wasn’t large, but his friend had built up a solid practice over the years. He yanked open one of the heavy dark wood panels, then approached reception.
“Hi Mr. Nash. Nate said to tell you he’d be waiting for you in the conference room.”
“Hi Lucy.” He leaned closer and lowered his voice. “Are those detectives here yet?”
She smirked. “Yes. They showed up almost thirty minutes ago. I guess they flew in to PDX and weren’t sure how long it would take to drive down here.”
Malcolm surveyed the room but didn’t see anyone he thought might be the investigators. “Did they take off, or…?”
Lucy shook her head. “No. Nate’s been playing charming host. He led them straight to the conference room where he’s plying them with all the snacks and drinks he ordered from the deli this morning. He’s holding court right now.”
Malcolm chuckled. “Too bad he’s not plying them with booze. I guess I’ll go take them off his hands.”
She smiled. “You know where the conference room’s located, right?”
He nodded. “I’ve got it. Thanks.”
Malcolm made his way down a long hall at the right of the reception area that was located in the middle of the rectangular structure. A set of stairs with a landing halfway up and a single elevator were located directly behind Lucy’s large desk. When Malcolm reached the end of the hall where the conference room was located, he rapped his knuckles on the door before entering.
“Ah! There he is. The guest of honor.”
Nate jumped to his feet from where he’d been reclining at the far end of the conference table. Two men who’d been seated to his right also rose. The man closest to Nate appeared to be in his fifties. He had almost solid gray, closely cropped hair, and was of a medium build and height. His partner was on the shorter side with dark hair and eyes and was closer to Malcolm in age.
“Hello.” Malcolm wasn’t accustomed to being nervous. Nate’s suggestion they meet at his firm had been heartily welcomed by him. The familiar territory helped. “Sorry you had to wait.”
The gray-haired man spoke, gesturing for Malcolm to sit to Nate’s left as they all took their seats again. “Nate’s been keeping us entertained. And anyway, we were early.”
Malcolm darted his gaze to Nate, hoping he was projecting a silent thanks. He also hoped Nate planned on sticking around. He might not be prone to nerves, but he was so wound up on Seth’s behalf, he could use the support of his friend.
Malcolm gave them a tight smile and a nod. “Well, as I’m sure you realize, I’m Malcolm Nash, Seth’s partner.”
He took a deep breath, determined to remember the men were there to help, that they could be the ones who struck down Seth’s father and the church. They weren’t the enemy. However, if they pressured Seth and upset him, then he might need to reassess his opinion.
The gray-haired man nodded. “Nice to meet you. I’m Detective Garrett Smith, and this is my colleague from Twin Falls, Detective Arthur Lopez.”
They completed the social ritual of acknowledging each other and shaking hands. Malcolm pressed his lips together as he regarded them both. All he wanted at that point was to get on with it.
The two men shuffled through papers that were piled in a few open files. They pointed and commented, and Malcolm exchanged glances with Nate. He gave Malcolm a slight shrug. Malcolm knew Nate well enough to know his friend would’ve tried to pry as much info from the detectives as he could. It appeared he hadn’t had much luck.
Detective Lopez regarded him. “I take it you concluded that Seth wouldn’t be joining us today, after all. And what was the reason for that again?”
Malcolm crossed his arms and leaned back in the cushy office chair that matched the other nine that surrounded the long table. He’d made himself quite clear already, but he imagined the detectives were still trying to get a handle on the full picture. Perhaps they thought he was as oppressive as Seth’s father had been, that Seth had jumped from the frying pan into the fire, so to speak.
“As I explained over the phone, Seth has been through too much already. He may never heal from everything his father and the others did to him. To be honest, I was hoping he’d never have to be involved at all. Since Nate’s associate, Ms. Tina Klein, contacted your agency and passed on the tip, we thought perhaps that would be enough.”
Both detectives nodded. Detective Smith continued, “And we’re sympathetic to your concerns. However, we genuinely want to tear those bastards down, make sure they never hurt another kid again. Hell, we’re convinced there are adults being held there right now as well. Seth’s testimony would be vital to this investigation.”
Detective Lopez interjected, “We’ve received a handful of complaints about them over the years. Nothing concrete. Whenever we’d investigate the claims, the individuals who’d reached out either disappeared or suddenly changed their story. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find just cause to dig deeper or to serve search warrants at the education center.”
Malcolm arched his eyebrows. He believed they were all on the same side, but a couple comments Lopez had made concerned him. “Disappeared? What does that mean exactly?”
“I can’t attest to anything sinister. We were never able to discover anything alarming. From what we could tell, a couple of the students who we’d been asked to do a welfare check on had simply moved away.”
Malcolm wasn’t satisfied. “Has anyone to your knowledge ever asked for a welfare check on Seth?”
Lopez shook his head. “No. We’d never heard of him prior to Nate’s associate contacting our office. I took a drive over there and had a chat with the preacher who runs the church, ran Seth’s name past him to see if I could get a reaction. The guy hardly twitched. He gave me some vague story about Seth falling into some trouble then running off with what he referred to as ‘shady characters’.”
He glanced down at his notes. “Didn’t speak with the father. I decided to hold off on anymore prodding, hoped the preacher would accept my inquiry as no different than the other times we’d been out there. He’ll likely assume I was satisfied with his answer and the matter was dropped.”
Malcolm sighed. “I see. So, the guy made up some ridiculous story about Seth leaving the church because he was involved in something illegal. That would take the spotlight off them.”
Detective Smith leaned forward, folding his hands on the trouble. “Is the story ridiculous, Malcolm? What do you know about this kid, really know about him? Perhaps he did run off because he was in trouble. He made his way down here and found a nice, older man who would take care of him. Gave you some sob story so you’d take him in. Maybe he didn’t expect you’d carry things this far, get others involved.”
Malcolm gritted his teeth, his hands balling into fists.
Nate cleared his throat. “Uh, I’ve met Seth as well, spent a bit of time with him. He comes off as credible. I’ve seen absolutely no indication that he’s lying. He’s a wonderful young man.”
“That’s all right, Nate.” Malcolm could barely speak without growling. “Thank you, but I need to say I find this line of questioning very insulting. This is the exact reason I didn’t bring him with me today. He’s a traumatized young man. He doesn’t need anyone—especially those who profess to be helping him—to doubt the horror of what he went through. He has nightmares, panic attacks.” Malcolm snorted in disgust. “But I don’t need to justify his character or experiences to you.” Malcolm slapped his hands on the
table and shoved his chair back. “We’re done here.”
Both investigators gestured for him to stay seated, but he ignored them and rose. Detective Smith jumped to his feet.
“Please, Mr. Nash. Try to take into consideration where we’re coming from.”
“I don’t need to consider shit!”
Nate interjected, “Whoa, hey now. Let’s all take a breath.” Nate turned to him. “Malcolm, let’s get through this interview. If you decide you no longer wish for you and Seth to be involved, then so be it.”
Detective Smith regarded Nate. “You realize if we continue our investigation and discover solid evidence of abuse or unlawful confinement—make any arrests—that we can subpoena Seth for his testimony.”
Malcolm shook his head, his anger ready to push him over the edge. The only thing keeping him from performing his own unlawful actions was Seth. He didn’t want his boy believing he was a violent person after all he’d endured. In truth, Malcolm wasn’t an aggressive man. But he was extremely protective, would risk anything to keep Seth from being hurt.
Nate’s expression changed from jovial guy to cutthroat lawyer in a flash. “As their attorney, you’d have to go through me first. My client won’t be harassed.”
The detectives exchanged glances. Smith sighed. “I think we’ve gotten off-track here. Our intention isn’t to go after Seth. If crime’s have been committed by that church, and we both strongly believe there have, we need to consider all angles should this case go to trial. If the church has a halfway decent defense team, they’ll try to rip any accusers to shreds.”
Detective Lopez nodded. “I’m certain that’s the reason that every time we’ve gone out there and inquired about someone, we’ve received a similar story. The missing person got in trouble, got in with the wrong people and took off.”
For the Love of a Boy (Father Series Book 2) Page 6