by Soniah Kamal
Alys seemed the only one run a bit ragged by having to attend daily dinners, but it was nice to see Raghav and Annie. Darsee was tolerable enough given that, thankfully, they hardly interacted.
One morning, Alys found herself being joined on the jogging track in the park by Raghav.
‘Hello, hello,’ Raghav said warmly.
‘Hello!’ Alys said, very pleasantly surprised.
‘I checked out the climbing gym,’ Raghav said. ‘Thanks for the recommendation. Are you still walking? Join you?’
‘Of course. So nice to see you.’
‘I also had to pick up some gear in town. I’m leaving tomorrow, earlier than scheduled. Big expedition going to K2, and my sherpa advises we should join.’
Alys made a sad face.
‘But let’s do keep in touch,’ Raghav said. ‘And if you come to India, my home is your home.’
‘Thank you,’ Alys said. ‘Likewise, if you ever come to my hometown, Dilipabad, my home is your home.’
‘Dilipabad.’ Raghav squinted. ‘Sounds familiar.’
‘Trust me,’ Alys laughed, ‘if you’d come to Dilipabad, you’d know. It’s a tiny town.’
‘I did visit one small town, where my mother was born before partition. Last year, my mother passed away—’
‘My condolences.’
‘Thank you, and she wanted me to spread some of her ashes in her childhood home here.’
‘So this trip is no ordinary visit for you, then,’ Alys said.
‘Not at all. Valentine was instrumental in my getting a visa to come here as well as helping me locate my mother’s childhood house. I am so grateful to him. My boyfriend couldn’t make it. He’s a photographer. He would have loved it here. Hold on! I know where I’ve heard of Dilipabad. I believe Darsee was there recently, for a wedding. Are you aware of any recent weddings that took place there?’
‘Please,’ Alys said as nonchalantly as she could, ‘this is Pakistan. The home of the marriage-industrial complex. Always a wedding taking place everywhere. Weddings are our nation’s bread and butter and foundation and flag.’
‘I believe Valentine recently saved a friend of ours, Bungles, from making a bad marriage or some such in Dilipabad.’
‘Saved?’ Alys stumbled. ‘What do you mean “saved”?’
‘I think Bungles really liked some girl there, but Valentine didn’t think it a good match.’
‘Who’s Darsee to decide that? How do you know him and trust him so much?’
‘Valentine and I were at university together in the US for our undergrad degrees. He was serious back then too, the sort of person who feels compelled to tell someone to turn off a running water tap because waste-not-want-not. That’s how he met Bungles. Bungles was a year junior and in our dorm. Bungles was brushing his teeth one morning and he’d left the water running, and Valentine descended upon him in the name of environmental enlightenment.’
Raghav grinned. ‘I only met Bungles twice before I graduated – both times at a club, where Valentine was keeping a strict eye on him. Bungles is a decent but fun-loving guy and, if I recall correctly, Darsee steered him away from many a Miss Trouble back at university. Obviously he continues at it – hence the Dilipabad wedding rescue. Apparently the girl’s mother is a mega-gold-digger and kept flinging her daughter at Bungles, while the daughter herself showed zero interest. Valentine told me he was able to convince Bungles of her disinterest with concrete examples, until even Bungles could no longer deny that she’d probably even smiled at him only because her mother forced her to.’
‘Perhaps Darsee is interested in him for his sister?’
‘No way! Val thinks women should be independent and know their minds before they get married. If Darsee has his way, Jujeena will be a double PhD, have solved world hunger, fixed the environment, brought wars to an end, and found the cure for at least three diseases before he recommends she marry.’
‘How nice for Jujeena.’
‘The fact is, Valentine is a good and sincere man and has been a great friend to Bungles and me.’
A few steps on, Alys pled a sudden migraine. She assured Raghav she’d be fine and headed back to Sherry’s as fast as she could. She was shaking when she got to her bedroom. By dinnertime, her head was pounding. Sherry gave her three painkillers, a strong cup of chai, and a plate of stomach-settling khichiri with home-made yoghurt.
Alys did not eat. She stared at the plain ceiling and plotted Darsee’s downfall. She abhorred him. He was singlehandedly responsible for Jena’s misery. She would never forgive him, no matter how much he begged, were he ever to do so, which she prayed to God that by some miracle he would.
That evening Alys insisted she be excused from dining at Beena dey Bagh’s. Kaleen, seeing how drained she looked, decided it was just as well that she stay behind. If she was coming down with something, he did not want her around Annie’s immune system. When everyone left, Alys went to the living room, wrapped herself in a quilt, and switched on one of her favourite films, The Terminator. She tucked into a plate of her soul-settling comfort food – yellow lentils and white rice topped with cucumbers – and hoped that the machine-versus-man film would at least soothe her for the duration of its running time. Oh, how she despised Darsee. If she ever saw him again she’d—
‘Alys baji,’ the maid, Ama Iqbal, poked her head into the living room. ‘There’s a man to see you. Shall I bring him in?’
‘A man?’ Alys said.
‘He came here once before. Ate all the shami kebabs.’
Alys nodded. Raghav. How sweet of him to come see if she was all right and to say goodbye before he left in the morning for K2. At least he wouldn’t care that she was in her tatty pyjamas and had oiled her hair. Perhaps she should tell him the whole tale and trust that he might tell Bungles the truth about Jena’s feelings.
The door opened. Alys’s smile disappeared.
‘Hello,’ Darsee said.
‘Is everyone all right?’ Alys said. ‘Isn’t there a dinner at your aunt’s place?’
‘All fine. No need to panic.’ Darsee glanced at the plate of half-eaten dal chawal. ‘I came to see how you were doing.’
‘How I’m doing?’
‘Sherry said you’ve had a bad headache since this morning. Raghav said he and you had jogged together and it was humid. Could it be heat stroke? Is that oil in your hair?’
‘Yes, it is. I was not expecting the Crown Prince of Pakistan to visit.’
‘I was worried.’ Darsee sat down. ‘You’re watching Terminator. Is this your first time?’
‘No,’ Alys said rudely.
‘This is one of the only films with an even better sequel. Have you seen it?’
‘Listen,’ Alys said, ‘where does your aunt think you are?’
‘Picking up emergency mountain stuff for Raghav. He leaves tomorrow morning.’
Darsee rose. Then he sat back down. Then he rose again. He cleared his throat.
‘What?’ Alys said, as he looked down at her. ‘What’s wrong with you?’
‘Will you marry me?’
Alys stared at him.
‘I love you.’
This was so preposterous, Alys let out a hearty laugh.
‘My admission is a joke to you?’
‘Is this a prank?’ Alys looked around. ‘Is there a hidden camera somewhere?’
‘Don’t be absurd.’ Darsee crossed the room. ‘I’ve tried to get you out of my head. I’ve tried so hard. I think about you all the time. Of how I want your opinion on this book and that film and this work of art and that play. I respect your opinions.’
‘You respect my opinions.’
‘Will you, Alys? Marry me? It’s not the wisest of matches,’ Darsee said dolefully. ‘In fact, it’s a disadvantageous match for me in all respects – well, except that you’re smart, fun, and have a quirky personal style, which I like. And you are not a gold-digger. This is the biggest plus of all.’
‘It is, is it?’ Alys said.
‘Beena Aunty will take some convincing, of course, but I’m sure I’ll be able to win her over. Annie will help me too. I’m hoping that, once we’re married, you’ll agree with me that we need not meet your family with any regularity.’
Alys had been in a daze this whole time. Now she stood up. Did Darsee think she’d agree to marry him? No doubt he’d been brought up to believe that he was a prince and all the girls everywhere were eager to be his princess and locked away in his castle.
‘Aren’t you engaged to Annie?’ Alys flushed. She had not meant to ask this.
‘Beena Khala would like that – consolidate property and the British School Group and all that – but Annie and I have grown up like siblings. It’s gross. Anyway, Beena Khala’s upset these days because Annie is refusing to break up with her Nigerian boyfriend. They began dating before she got sick. I like him. But why are you asking about Annie when I’ve asked you to marry me?’
‘Marry you!’ Alys said, even as she took in everything he’d told her. ‘Here’s to bursting your bubble – I don’t know what gave you the impression that I would marry you. I would never marry you under any circumstances. You are unmarriageable.’
‘I see.’ Darsee folded his arms. ‘I see. And why would you never marry me under any circumstances? Why am I unmarriageable? Do I stink or something?’
‘Yes,’ Alys said. ‘You do stink. Of hubris. You are a pompous ass.’
Darsee swallowed.
‘You insult my family, tell me to seldom meet them, and then expect me to kneel in gratitude for the chance at being your wife? You think a way to a woman’s heart is by calling her family coarse and crude?’
‘I didn’t use those terms, you did.’ Darsee scowled. ‘But they certainly are champions of what is called ultee seeday harkatein, bizarre behaviour. You and I are both truth-tellers, and the truth is your family behaves disgracefully in public.’
‘You are uncouth,’ Alys said, ‘and unfeeling to expect me to not see my family. And if that’s not bad enough, my sister Jena is in deep depression because of your interference between her and Bungles. That’s why she left Dilipabad for Lahore. She was so upset she had to take time off from work to recover. She really liked Bungles and I know he really liked her, but you ruined it for them.’
Darsee reddened. ‘She certainly didn’t act as if she liked him.’
‘How stupid are you? My sister’s reputation has taken a beating because of Bungles. She was even a gossip item in that stupid Social Lights column “What Will People Say – Log Kya Kahenge”. Had Jena dared to openly encourage him, have you any idea what people would be saying about her then? Don’t you know how people in this country talk? Show interest in a man and be called a slut. Don’t show interest in a man and be called a tease or a prude or, as you’d say, disinterested. What’s a girl to do?’
‘It seemed to me that your mother was far more interested in Bungles than your sister was.’
‘Just come out and say it,’ Alys said. ‘You believe my mother is a gold-digger. If we women decide to marry according to standards, then we are gold-diggers, but when you weigh us in matters of looks and chasteness, then you’re just being smart. I can’t stand these double standards.’
‘Look,’ Darsee said, ‘it’s terrible your sister is depressed, but based on what I saw, I was protecting my friend. Wouldn’t you have protected your sister if it were the other way around? Have you any idea how many girls, how many women, throw themselves at Bungles all day long? At me?’
‘It’s not exactly you they’re throwing themselves at,’ Alys said, ‘so don’t unduly flatter yourself.’
‘Oh, I know,’ Darsee said grimly. ‘I was disillusioned ages ago. It’s not me. It’s my money, my family name, or both. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find someone who likes you for who you are? Marries you for yourself and not your assets?’
‘Poor little rich boy Valentine Darsee. Such a hard life. Valued for what he has to offer rather than who he is. Welcome to a woman’s world, where we are valued for tits, ass, womb, sometimes earning capacity, but above all else being servile brainless twits. Have you any idea what it feels like to want to be liked for your brains and instead be coveted for your body?’
‘I like you for your brains.’
‘I don’t like you for anything,’ Alys said. ‘I’ve refused your benevolent offer of marriage. Why are you still here?’
‘So you’ve made up your mind.’
‘My God! You have more hubris than a Disney prince. I don’t like you. At all. We have nothing in common. Nothing.’
Darsee looked Alys up and down. ‘Yes we do. We like reading and we have growing up abroad in common. We both grew up multicultural kids. We know no one person represents a group or a country in things good or bad. We know how to plant roots where there are none. We know that friends can be made anywhere and everywhere, regardless of race or religion. We know how to uproot. We know how to move on from memories, or at least not let memories bury us. Most of all, neither of us is a hypocrite, Alys. Neither of us would call an ugly baby cute.’
‘Even if we did have all this in common, I would never marry you,’ Alys said. ‘And you are a hypocrite. Or have you forgotten Jeorgeullah Wickaam?’
‘Wickaam again!’
‘Wickaam forever! You cheated your cousin out of an inheritance so that you could get it all for yourself. My father’s elder brother did the same, and it damaged my family. Don’t you think for a second that a betrayal of this type is something that I can ever forget or forgive. If you aren’t a decent person, then your money and lineage mean nothing to me. Loyalty means everything to me, and you, Valentine Darsee, are not loyal to family or friends. You may have fooled the whole world into thinking otherwise, but you’ll never fool me.’
‘I see.’ Darsee nodded. ‘You’ve spent time with me and with Wickaam, and your conclusion is that he is a saint and I am a materialistic disloyal villain. A good thing, then, that you have rejected me. Saves me from being with a person who has such a low opinion of me. I’m so sorry to have wasted your time, as well as my own. Goodbye, then, and best wishes.’
After Darsee left, Alys did not move for a long while. She stared at the TV screen without hearing a word. The film credits rolled and the film turned off and the DVD self-ejected and she sat there still. Valentine Darsee said he loved her. That he valued her opinions. Valentine Darsee proposed to her despite all his objections towards her family.
He proposed.
She refused.
Alys heard honking at the gate. The party was back from dinner. Sherry would take one look at her and know something had happened. Alys did not want to discuss anything with anyone, not yet. She rushed to her bedroom, got into bed, turned off the lights, pulled the covers over her head, and fell into a deep and restful sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Alys woke the next morning and instantly recalled Darsee’s proposal. She took a deep breath and decided that there was no need to tell anyone. Her mother would faint at her having turned down an offer of this magnitude. Sherry would tell her that she’d made a bad decision. Even Jena, she suspected, would scold her for having been too quick to refuse. But Alys was more than satisfied with her decision. The next order of business was to go about her day exactly as she would any other day, and what was so shocking now would in time turn ordinary.
Alys slipped on running clothes and left the house for the park. Not bad, Alys, she thought to herself as she embarked on her first lap. You must be doing something right for two proposals in one year, all the way from Kaleen to Darsee.
Suddenly Darsee appeared before her on the path, holding out a letter.
‘I didn’t want this delivered at Kaleen’s house, in case anyone else opened it, so I waited here, hoping you’d show up. Please read this and then, as I said last night, goodbye and best wishes.’
Alys took it and watched Darsee disappear out of sight. She made her way to the nearest bench and slit open the sealed envelope
.
Alys,
You made two accusations against me and I deserve a chance to explain. The first is about your sister. I’ve known Bungles for a long time, and he’s always falling ‘in love’. This time I did sense gravity in his feelings, but I honestly did not see those feelings reciprocated by Jena. I understand that in our society women play it safe until they get a proposal; however, there is a difference between showing restraint and showing indifference. I was beyond convinced your sister was showing indifference.
And then, your family. Look, you can’t deny that your mother and Lady display no propriety. Even if a guy acted in private the way Lady does in public, I’d call him out. Lady and Qitty quarrel in public like they’re hired entertainment. Your sister Mari is Muslim fire and brimstone, and your father seems unable, or unwilling, to discipline anyone. Then there is the matter of your maternal ancestry. Alys, you must see that no true friend would recommend marrying into your family regardless of whether the girl showed great interest, which Jena did not.
I accept one wrongdoing. I did know Jena was in Lahore. I’m sorry I lied to you. I am not a liar. Bungles had no idea, because his sisters and I didn’t tell him.
The second accusation concerns my cousin Jeorgeullah Wickaam. Wickaam gives everyone the sob story he gave you. My father and both his parents did pass away in the Ojhri arms-depot explosion; that much of Wickaam’s story is true. We were all traumatised.
Wickaam became extremely clingy. No one blamed him given his circumstances. He needed love and stability. He could not sleep alone, so he and I shared a bedroom. When my mother, sister, and I moved to England, he came with us.
After a string of unsuccessful relationships, my mother remarried and we moved to Bangkok. It was Wickaam who decided to stay back with his father’s family. As it turned out, he’d befriended an older woman; so began his philandering. When Wickaam’s father’s family found out about his ‘affairs’, they didn’t know how to handle it. My mother had divorced by then and so, after three years in Bangkok, we’d returned to Lahore, and my mother requested that Wickaam be sent back to us.