by Dawn Burton
“Woah, just stop right there. What I felt for Lizzie was a fleeting, momentary fling. It was never going to last, and I knew that. I went into it knowing we would get divorced fairly quickly, and I got her to sign a pre-nup because of that. It was just a bit of fun. I laughed the whole way through the five-minute ceremony because her name was Elizabeth Regina and it sounded like vagina. We had sex once after we were married and never again. Just once. Because then she overdosed and then we started fighting and then I found out Charlie gave her the drugs and then we went to Aspen and then it was just all over. There was nothing serious, nothing long-term about it. What I felt for her does not even register on the scale of what I feel for you. You are my life, my future, and when we’re not together, I am always taking one step closer to coming back to you. Wherever you are, that’s my destination. You are my home, Annie. A home I’ve never known before.”
She inhaled, taking in his words, taking in his body heat, taking in his smell, the sound of his heart beating against her ear. “I’m just sad I don’t get to be your first.”
“You are to me. You’re my first love, you’re the first thing I think of when I wake, and this is the first time I am wanting to pledge my entire life, my entire future to just one woman. The only woman for me. You. Nothing in the past has ever come even remotely close to this, so honestly, it’s not worth your time thinking about it. And I can’t tell you how much I hate myself for my one stupid moment of madness hurting you like this.”
She smiled sadly up at him, then gathered herself. “Nah, I’m just being a spoilt brat, not wanting to share my toys. You’re mine, and mine alone, so fuck off ghosts of the past! C’mon, come and buy me a big sparkly cocktail.”
They walked back to the main bar, holding hands, Tay exhaling and thanking his lucky stars yet again that this amazing woman was in his life.
Chapter Seventeen
The next morning was an early start before heading to Vegas, Annie feeling the nerves as they arrived, but Tay was extra-attentive and to be honest, she got so caught up in the slot machines in the casinos that Tay’s past was forgotten. He came to find her to ask if she wanted to come to rehearsals, but she grinned and said she’d stay and lose her dollars. Annie noticed a casino attendant watching them, talking on her phone, as they kissed goodbye and Tay walked off.
About ten minutes later, in her peripheral vision, Annie was aware that the attendant was talking to another woman and pointing towards her.
The woman came over to Annie. “Hi. Sorry to bother you, you’re with Taylor Anderson, aren’t you? I really need to talk to him but I’ve gotta go and get my kid in half an hour. Is he coming back?”
Annie assumed she was a fan. “No, they’ve gone for rehearsal. Are you coming tonight?”
The woman laughed bitterly. “No, I can barely afford the childcare I need in order to work. There’s not enough left over for nights out, not that they are my sort of music anyway.”
“Right,” Annie was a bit confused now. “So, you wanted to speak to Taylor but you’re not a fan? Maybe it’s best if you just contact the record company.”
“No, I tried that, and I never got any response, but I was never sure if the message got to him. I’ve got something to tell him. I saw he was playing here tonight so I asked all my girlfriends to keep an eye out and to call me if they saw him around today.”
“Well, do you to tell me the message or write it down? Otherwise I’m not sure what I can do to help. Did Taylor know you in the past?” Oh shit, what if the kid she mentioned is his, thought Annie.
The woman hesitated. “It’s personal.”
“Are you an ex-girlfriend? Is your child his?” Annie blurted out. Whoops! Oh well, now I’ll know, she thought.
“God, no. No, I’ve never met him. But…I knew someone from his past…has he mentioned… Oh god, I don’t know how much you know. I don’t want to cause trouble.”
“You knew who? I know he had lots of one-night stands when he was younger, I know about Charlie, I know about his ex wife, his ex band mate-”
“You know about Lizzie?” the woman interrupted.
“Yes. I know they married here in a whirlwind and it didn’t last and probably should never have happened, but it did. Is it Lizzie you know?”
“Knew. Yes. Look, can you record me and show Taylor? I’m gonna need to go and get Bebe soon.”
“Ok, let’s go over there.” They walked into a quiet area of the restaurant and sat down. Annie pulling her phone out and setting the video to record. “Ok, so you knew Lizzie in the past but not now, and you’ve got something you need to tell Taylor about her? Something you’ve kept quiet about for years?”
“Yes. Lizzie’s dead now. She died of an overdose, but we met a couple of months after their marriage ended, and she told me and a friend something that we’ve kept to ourselves. Like I say, I tried writing to him via the record company because I felt uncomfortable that I knew and he didn’t. But we didn’t hear anything back, and then my friend saw that video you did together where Taylor talked about his brother and how hard it was not knowing why he died, and him hoping Lizzie was happy now, so I assume my message never got through, and we knew we had to tell him about them.”
“About them?”
“Yeah, Lizzie and Charlie. They were sleeping together the whole time, behind Taylor’s back, before they got married and afterwards. It was all just a laugh to Lizzie, but it got too heavy for her to cope with.
“She’d had enough and wanted to tell Taylor after Christmas, but Charlie wouldn’t let her. He got quite verbally nasty towards her, although she gave as good as she got from what I understand. They were pretty toxic together, and Taylor got caught up in the damage. She went to LA for a shoot and she asked Taylor to visit her because she was going to get him away from Charlie and tell him, so it would all be out in the open and over. She wanted to own up, ask for a divorce, and just get away from both the Andersons.
“She knew marrying Taylor was a mistake. I don’t know if you know, or if he knows, but they never even had sex after getting married. She laughed when she told us, but apparently they were both so out of it after the ceremony, that they passed out, half-undressed, before anything happened. When Lizzie woke up, Taylor was still out of it, but she thought he might kick her out and stop her access to Charlie’s drugs, so she undressed him and told him they’d had sex. And then she took more drugs and overdosed. And then things unravelled after that, so they were never intimate again.”
Annie felt her heart soar. It shouldn’t matter, but it did, it really fucking did! He’d never had sex with Lizzie after they were married. It could have been annulled and the record wiped clean, as much as it was divorce.
“She said he was too good for her, but that didn’t stop her sleeping around. She even slept with someone else on the shoot. So anyway, Charlie went mad when he heard she’d asked Taylor to come out and said he’d never forgive her if she said anything, that she’d ruin his family, and they had a huge row. The next morning, she got a call from someone with the band to say Charlie’d committed suicide and Taylor wasn’t coming.
“It all got too much so she just ran away. She overdosed again and her family put her in rehab, which is where I met her, but it was obvious she was never going to stop using. She briefly got clean, and I helped her contact a lawyer for the divorce to try and help her move on, but a few weeks later, she went on a massive binge and never woke up.”
Annie sat quietly, shocked at hearing all this and her heart breaking for Taylor. “What a mess.”
“Yes. But you will make sure you show Taylor this, won’t you?”
“I promise I will. I don’t even know your name?”
“Sally-Anne.” She wrote her number down. “And if he wants to talk to me, I’m happy to go through it again, but I’ve told you everything I know, and as far as I’m concerned, I’ve played my part now. It’s down to you to pass this on. I’ve hated carrying this around, like I was a part of it, so now I’m d
one.”
Sally-Anne stood, and Annie stopped the recording. They said goodbye, then Annie sat back down, ringing Tay’s mobile, leaving him a message asking him to ring her straight back.
Half an hour later, he called. “Hey, sweetheart! You ok?”
“I know you need to practice, but can you come back here as soon as you can? I need to tell you something.”
“Annie, you’re worrying me, are you ok? Tell me what’s wrong?”
“I…I…god, I don’t even know where to start. But a woman tracked me down just now, looking for you, and she’s passed on some information about Lizzie, and it relates to Charlie. She told me the reason why she thinks Charlie committed suicide and why Lizzie ran off.”
“What the fuck? I don’t understand.”
“I know. Just come back as soon as you can, please.”
“I’m coming right now. I…I don’t get what’s going on, Annie?”
“I love you. Me and you are ok, but I’ve got some answers for you. It’s not going to be nice to hear, but it might help you understand what happened. I’ll wait for you in our room.”
Annie paced their room nervously for the next fifteen minutes, jumping when she heard the door fling open and Tay come running in. “What the fuck’s going on, Annie?” he cried, dragging his fingers through his hair.
“I’ve got a video to show you. It’s this woman’s story as she told me. Just watch it.”
“No!” he shouted. “Just tell me, Annie. Tell me why Charlie committed suicide?”
She looked at him in anguish. “There’s no easy way to say this. He…he was sleeping with Lizzie. They had a huge row because she was going to tell you everything, and then that night, he killed himself because he couldn’t face you knowing what he’d done.”
“What? Fuck. What? He slept with Lizzie? What, when? Just the once? A one-off mistake?”
“No, my love. All the time she was with you. Before you got married and afterwards, over Christmas. Lots of times,” she said gently, watching the horror descend over his face as the pieces dropped into place.
“Charlie? How could he do that to me? I knew she was sleeping around but not with Charlie?” He shook his head, but there was something else, a recognition that he was finally hearing the truth.
She led him to their sofa and held her phone out for them to watch as she played Sally-Anne’s video. Tay could barely speak, running his hands across his mouth, up to his hair and down again. As it finished, he just demanded “Again”.
As the second play finished, she grabbed one of his hands, “Talk to me, Tay. What are you thinking?”
“I…shit, Annie, how could Charlie do that to me? I know he was a twat, but sleeping with Lizzie? That’s just fucking low. No wonder he topped himself, the selfish fucker. He couldn’t even face what he’d done. I feel so fucking betrayed by him.
“I knew she was sleeping with someone else, she taunted me enough about that, but my own brother? She had zero fucking morals, but him? That fucking stings.” He suddenly jumped to his feet. “Fuck. Did they all know, Annie? Has everyone known and not had the balls to tell me? They must’ve known.”
He ran out the room, crashing into a rising Con who, along with the other guys, had been sitting outside, waiting to make sure their mate was ok after he literally ran out on them at rehearsal. He pushed Con up against the corridor wall, his arm across Con’s neck. “Did you know? Did you fucking know?” he shouted in his face.
“Know what? I don’t know what you’re on about?” Con shook his head in bewilderment.
“Charlie and Lizzie were fucking each other, the whole time she was with me. Did you know?”
“Charlie and Lizzie? No! No way! Oh fuck, oh shit, Tay, I’m so sorry, but no, no I didn’t know, of course I didn’t know. Oh mate!” Con caught Tay as his legs gave way, holding him up.
“Adie, Hilly? Please tell me you didn’t know?” begged Tay.
They both shook their heads. “No.”
“Hilly, you shared with him a couple of times on the stop-offs on that tour? Did you know?”
Hilly grabbed Tay’s arm, “No, I didn’t know, I promise. He…he...Charlie used to give me sleeping tablets every time we shared because he said I talked in my sleep and these would knock me out.” Hilly blushed, “Will’s the only other person I’ve shared a room with, and he said I didn’t make a sound. I’d be out for hours with those tablets he gave me. I’d have no way of knowing if he sneaked out, or oh my god, did he sneak her in?”
“How did you find this out?” asked Adie. “Are you sure it’s true?”
“Some woman Lizzie had confided in in rehab tracked Annie down, asking to speak to me.” Tay turned to Annie behind him. “Play it, sweetheart.”
“You sure?” she asked.
“Yes, no more fucking secrets.”
They piled into Tay and Annie’s room, crowding the sofa as Annie played the recording again. The looks of horror and gasps of disgust were enough to convince Tay that no-one knew. That made him feel better; at least they hadn’t betrayed him as well.
“What now?” asked Con. “Do you tell your folks, or just keep this to us, or what? What do you want to do with this?”
Tay sighed. “I don’t know. We’d just found a way to let go of the fucker; do I ruin that progress by telling the truth, or do I let the past go but then have to cover for the twat and risk hurting them if this ever gets out? What do you think, Annie?”
Annie rubbed his back, shaking her head. “It sucks either way. But Charlie doesn’t have to face your parents, or look them in the eye ever again. But you do. And I think it would hurt you far more to have to keep lying to them than to give them this truth. Charlie chose to make his mistakes and he’s paid the biggest price for them, but I don’t think it’s just up to you to be his judge; everyone should have the right to do that individually, and I don’t think it’s down to you to deny them that right. But I’ll support you, whatever you decide.”
Con nodded, “I agree with Annie. I think you need to go with what gives you peace inside, and I don’t think you’ll cope very well with the anxiety of lying to your parents every time Charlie’s name comes up.
“Look, sorry to talk business, but how are you feeling about tonight’s gig? Do you wanna cancel? We should get the word out if you do?”
Tay shook his head, looking at Annie, wanting to just be alone with her. “No, I’m not letting them twats ruin everyone else’s night. Annie, will you do Visible with us? I need something good to happen tonight. I need you.”
She kissed his bicep, “Yes, if that’s what you want, then that’s what shall happen.”
Tay nodded at Con. “Can you let the guys know we’re doing Visible? Same routine for it as last night? And can you all fuck off now; I badly need to feel something good, and pure, and true, and only m’lady’s beautiful body is gonna do.”
The lads hugged Tay as they left the room, then it was just the two of them. Annie walked over to shut the door, then fixing eye contact on Tay, proceeded to slowly remove every piece of clothing until she was naked, apart from her high heels. She stalked towards him, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him up off the sofa, then pushing him backwards until they reached the bed and he fell back onto the duvet.
She ripped the shirt open, not bothering with the buttons as they popped across the room, tugging at it impatiently until it was free of his limbs and she could throw it aside. She undid his belt and trousers, pulling at them to get them down off his hips, sliding to the floor as she removed them along with his trunks and his socks.
She knelt before him, running her hands up his legs, along his thighs, and then skirting around his balls and cock to flare out over his hips and back again. She freed his belt from his trousers and ran the leather end over his cock, flicking the end at his hips, his chest and biceps, leaving stinging little red kisses across his body.
He grunted and in one swift move, sat up, grabbed under her arms and twisted, pulling her up on
to the bed and straddling her, pinning her arms up over her head.
He took the belt from her hands and flicked the end along her body; her chest, the soft flesh of her breasts, the tight nub of her nipples, running the strap down over her ribs, then flicking it out to tap her hips. “Touch yourself,” he ordered, letting go of her hands.
She smirked and spread her legs as wide as she could, sinking her fingers straight up into her pussy, then smearing her juices all over her body, over and over. He narrowed his eyes as her body glistened with her wetness and her scent invaded his nostrils, overpowering his senses. He dipped his head, licking where she’d daubed herself, watching as her fingers slipped to her clit, gently circling. He continued to flick the belt as he watched, loving how she reacted to it. “Turn over,” he commanded, wanting to see the belt on her arse.
She flipped, raising herself onto her knees and sticking her arse up in front of him. He flicked the belt gently on her back, then down onto her arse, watching as the repeated smacks pinked her skin.
“I…I’ve never done this before, but harder, please Tay?” she whispered, not understanding why, but knowing she was enjoying the pleasure pain line he was walking. She could tell it was making her wet and she smiled as he swiped his finger along her slit, discovering for himself.
“You like this, Annie?” he asked.
“I…yes…I think I do,” she answered shyly. “Is this ok, have you...do you like…this?”
He murmured, running his hands over her reddened skin, then dragging his nails to bring her almost orgasmic pleasure. “It’s not anything I’ve really done before, but it’s making me really fucking hard! Are you sure you’re ok? Any time you want to stop, just say so and I will straight away. I love you, Annie.”
“I’m ok. I think I can take it harder, but just keep stopping and stroking me like this, please. I love you, Tay.”
He resumed smacking her arse and thighs with the belt, pausing to kiss and blow on the sensitive skin, before continuing, her moans getting louder and louder until they stopped, and she started squirming uncomfortably under him. “Enough?” he asked anxiously.