by Dawn Burton
Tay felt guilty for his part in this, “I know, and I feel it too. See if you can come out and let me know. And I just wanna run away back home to you, but then I’d be letting the guys, the fans, the record company down. It’s only six and a bit weeks, and then I’ll be back for the week. And then it’ll just be European festival dates and it’ll be easier to pop back or for you to come to me. Just six weeks left. We can do this.”
“Feels like forever,” she moaned. “I physically miss you, you twat.”
“Hey, why am I a twat?”
“Because it’s all your fault for making me fall in love with you.”
“Hmmm, yeah, great logic there!”
After they’d spoken, Annie went downstairs, made some dinner that she didn’t eat and sloped off to bed again, hoping she’d feel brighter in the morning.
◆◆◆
She woke the next morning, still feeling grotty and jetlagged or something. It wasn’t like she needed to run to the toilet and be sick, she just felt queasy. Every time she went to move, the nausea hit, forcing her to sit or lie as still as she could until it passed. She laughed to herself, maybe this was just practice for morning sickness.
Morning sickness.
Realisation dawned on her, making her shiver.
Fuck! What? No! She couldn’t be. Could she?
Her finger hovered on the button to call Tay. But, if she wasn’t and this was just still jetlag or a bug, she’d feel pretty stupid. Could she test yet? She quickly googled and found out yes, she could. As soon as she was able move without motion sickness, she got to her feet, got dressed and headed to the nearest chemist.
Twenty minutes later she was back in the bathroom. She hesitated, not sure if she was supposed to wait for Tay; was it fair for her to find out without him? But that would be weeks of waiting, and maybe she shouldn’t be taking the paracetamol if she was pregnant, and she probably needed folic acid or whatever it was into her.
She FaceTimed him, thinking they could do it that way but no answer. Shit. It was only 4.30am-ish. Too early. He must be in a deep sleep.
She opened the box. She’d just do it and then tell him. But no, that didn’t feel right. She took a photo of the test and sent to Tay, with a message saying, ‘I don’t know for definite, but I’m feeling a bit out of sorts, and I can’t shake this thought off…FaceTime me when you can, and we’ll find out together xxx’
She tried to keep herself busy, checking her phone every few minutes, but it was about two hours before he called back.
“Annie, what the hell? That gave me a heart attack. Are you ok? How are you feeling? How long have you thought this and what’s made you think it?!”
She walked back to the bathroom as she talked. “I felt sick this morning and it all just clicked. Why I’ve been so exhausted and had a headache and not eating and-”
“What? Why are you not eating? You never said that?” Tay furiously interrupted.
“I’ve just felt a bit sick at the thought of food. Just queasy, not actually being sick. Look, shall we do this? It might be nothing, but the more I think about it, the more I think I am. But I don’t know, and I could just totally be getting carried away with this.”
“Do it then! What do you have to do?”
“Just pee on this.” She pulled the cap off the stick and held it up. She sat on the toilet, resting her phone on the side as she did the business, then put the cap back on the stick, putting it down. “Now we just wait. Going to wash my hands.”
She dried off, then picked her phone up. “Ok, I’ll tilt the test towards the phone, and you can tell me what it says. It might not be ready yet.”
She carefully positioned the phone, then tilted the test, holding her breath.
“It’s upside down, Annie! Rotate it!” Tay shouted.
“Argh!” She turned it the right way up, and then Tay paused before yelling out, “Pregnant! Annie, you’re pregnant! 2-3 weeks, we did it! I love you!”
“What?!” Annie looked at the test, needing to see it for herself, the tears sliding down her face. Tay was crying too, and although she’d done her best to include him in this, in that moment she just wanted to be held by him.
“Oh, Tay,” she sobbed, collapsing down onto the floor. “I don’t think I can do this without you.”
“You can, sweetheart, you can. You’re stronger than you think. I’d give anything to be there with you right now, and I’m so frustrated I’m not, but we can do this. What do you need to do now? Do you need to see the doctor yet?”
“I don’t know, Tay, I don’t know.”
“Ok, well, that’s the first step I guess, finding that out. Do you want to tell anyone yet?”
“No, I need to get my head round this first. Is that ok?”
“Of course!”
Having to say goodbye and end that conversation was difficult for them both, and it tore Tay’s heart apart to see her so upset and to not be there. He arranged a delivery of flowers online and wracked his brain to see if there was any way he could get back.
They were finishing in Charlotte on Monday night and then they had a few days off until they flew to Jacksonville. Could he get a flight from Charlotte to home and then flight back to Jacksonville? He checked flights but seeing as he would need to stop at Charlotte to get to Jacksonville anyway, it would make sense for him to just come back to Charlotte.
It was a crazy plan. If she came down to London and they stayed in a hotel at the airport, he’d have about 14 hours with her. He’d spend longer travelling in total and his body would be wrecked. But it was better than nothing, and they both needed each other right now.
He booked the flights before common sense could talk him out of it, and emailed Annie the details, telling her to book a hotel at Heathrow. Four days to wait, then he’d see her again. Just four days to get through and a massive secret to keep.
He bounded out of his room, just as Con was coming out of his room. Con cocked his head, “Ok, what’s going on?”
“Nothing!” grinned Taylor.
“Tay, I know you inside out. You’re up to something!”
Tay outlined his crazy plan, omitting the reason for it all, and Con laughed at his mate. “You’re barmy. A complete madman, a love-drunk fool and I love it!”
They walked down to the hotel reception to meet the guys, and Tay told everyone his plans. Jez shook his head, saying he didn’t advise it, but it was up to him what he did with his time off. Tay bounced on his toes, grinning as Con stared at him. As they walked to the bus for rehearsals, Con grabbed his arm. “There’s something more, isn’t there? Are you getting married or something?”
“Nah, we can’t do that until later in the year, something to do with having to be at home for a week before we can give notice. But yeah, there’s another, really big reason why I need to see her right now. But it’s a secret at the moment.”
“Hmmm, I reckon I can probably guess and if so, congratulations dude, but I won’t say anything.”
They fist-bumped then caught up with the others.
◆◆◆
Annie sorted out the hotel excitedly, researched baby stuff, ringing the doctors to find out she wouldn’t have her first appointment for several weeks and finding out she should have been taking various pregnancy supplements. “Whoops, sorry baby,” she muttered, rushing back out to the chemist to stock up on what she needed.
She came back into the lobby and put her bag on the side, pouring herself a glass of water, then reaching to get her first tablet. Her head was pounding again. Will was behind her talking about something she couldn’t understand, when her head suddenly spun, and her legs gave way. She crashed to the floor as the world went black.
She came around to Will staring down worriedly at her. She was wet from her spilled water and he told her to stay still as she tried to get up. “There’s broken glass so just watch where you put your hands. Shit, Annie you really scared me, and what the fuck are these?” He held up the pregnancy tablets that had fallen o
ut of her bag as she fainted.
“Ah, yes. Erm, me and Tay found out this morning.” She burst into tears.
He helped her safely up and carried her to a sofa, lying her down. “You and Tay?” he asked confused. “He’s not here, is he?”
“No,” she wailed. “FaceTime. I’m so tired of trying to hold it all together, Will. I just wanna be with him. He’s flying back for literally a few hours on Wednesday and we’re going to meet in London, but then he’ll be flying back out again until the end of May, and I really need him right now.”
“Annie, you need to rest. You just fainted; I’m worried about you. Should we call the doctors?”
“I think it’s just because I’m not eating because I’m feeling sick. It seems too much hassle to cook proper food when I’m not eating it. I just want Tay.”
“Why are you here, Annie? Why don’t you just go out and be with your man?”
“I’d need to cancel a few charity things and give donations to the events in place of that. What about this place though?”
“We can cover it all. I’m more worried about you now. I can handle everything here. Is there anything stopping you going to Tay for a couple of weeks instead of him coming here for a few hours? But you need to promise me you’ll rest out there?”
“Yeah, I can just go from hotel to bus to hotel. God, Will, I think I’m gonna be sick!”
He helped her to the downstairs cloakroom, calling Hilly and asking him to pass him to Tay. He told Tay she’d fainted, and he’d found her pregnancy tablets, and now she felt sick again. “I think she really needs you, Tay. She’s not eating, and I’ll try and help her now I know, but it’s you she needs to be with. I’ve said I’ll cover everything here, so can she come out to you for a couple of weeks until she’s stronger?” Will suddenly heard a loud thump. “Shit! I think she’s collapsed again.”
He ran into the toilet while Tay shouted down the phone, trying to work out what was going on. He found her on the floor, “Shit. She’s fainted. She’s bleeding where she’s banged her head. I’m gonna call an ambulance, Tay. I’ll call you back.”
Tay was hyperventilating in the US; Con running over as they’d watched him grow more and more agitated on the phone to Will, calling out Annie’s name. He collapsed to his knees as he dropped the phone. Con grabbed him and he clung to him, shouting, “She’s collapsed, Con! She’s hit her head and she’s bleeding. Will’s calling an ambulance. I need to go home now; I need to go to her. She’s pregnant. What if something’s wrong and she’s losing the baby? I need to go, Con!”
“Ok, let’s get Tams onto flights while we wait to hear from Will, and we’ll make a decision then. Hilly, text Will Tay’s number. We’ll sort it out, Tay, just breathe and stay with me.” Con calmly took control, directing Tams and filling Jez in on the situation. Within the next hour, the flight home was lined up, venues ready to be cancelled if needed and a press release prepared.
Will sent a few texts to update Tay, but he was still waiting to be updated by a doctor. Finally Tay’s phone rang. He snatched it up. “Will? How is she?”
He listened as Will said she was fine, just low blood pressure and slight anaemia causing the fainting. She’d had the cut on her eyebrow glued shut, and they had her on a drip to get her fluids up. They were going to keep her in for observations that night and monitor her hGC levels to check her pregnancy hormones weren’t dropping. She was too early in her pregnancy to have a scan, but the signs were good and she just needed to recover from this, eat properly, rest, and look after herself for the next two weeks until she could come back for a viability scan at six weeks from the date of her last period. The doctor said she’d be fine to fly once she felt strong enough, but rest was essential. Will offered to fly out with Annie, but he’d need to return on the Friday.
Will put Annie on, and Tay was nearly crying talking to her. She reassured him she was fine, that he didn’t need to come back and she promised she’d rest over the weekend.
Tay said he’d book flights for her and Will for Tuesday, and then they could assess how she was on Monday to see if she was up to coming out to him. She sounded shattered and said she was going to have a sleep now, so he said goodbye to her, telling her he loved her.
He relayed the update to the band, Sasha giving him a big hug. He cancelled his flight and Tams booked them for Annie and Will, much to Hilly’s delight, leaving Heathrow on Tuesday morning and arriving in Charlotte that afternoon, finally feeling some of the tension leaving him but knowing he wouldn’t settle until she was with him.
Life continued over the weekend, Tay phoning Annie as often as he could, travelling, rehearsing, performing, sleeping and repeating, the structure keeping him going. Annie had been discharged on the Saturday and was back home with Will looking after her.
On Monday, Annie was adamant she was well enough to accompany Scott to court, getting taxis there and back, and she confirmed she was feeling up to flying, although Tay suspected she’d probably say that regardless, just to get to him. He organised a car to pick her and Will up, saying he’d see her the very next day.
Their flight wasn’t due in until just after 2pm, but from noon onwards, Tay was at the airport waiting for her, refusing to do an afternoon rehearsal so they’d done a reduced morning run through at the venue. Hilly was with him, chattering away about seeing Will, but he barely heard him. Finally, their flight landed, and Tay waited eagerly until suddenly she was there, in front of him, and at long last he could see her, touch her, and take care of her.
She was so pale, so tired, despite her big smile, that he was shocked. He felt caveman-like protective of his wife-to-be, the mother of his child, and he just wanted to scoop her into his arms, run back to the UK with her and never leave Watch House again. He thanked Will for coming over with her, then lifted her up, asking Hilly to bring her bags and carrying her over to their car, setting her into the middle seat and sitting beside her, his arm around as she nestled against him.
She briefly fell asleep as they travelled, finally feeling she could just let go and put her trust into Tay and stop having to cope on her own. She stirred, “Sorry, I can hardly keep my eyes open at the moment!”
“Don’t apologise, I’ve loved every minute of watching you. Reminded me of when we met in the pub and I was just looking at you without you realising.”
“Remind me, that was like months ago, wasn’t it?”
“Months? Yeah! Well, maybe five weeks ago!”
“Shit, was that all it was?”
“Hey, don’t swear, that’s our baby you’re growing in there. They don’t need to hear their mummy being all potty mouthed.”
“Fuck off, twat-face shithead, as I believe you commoners say. Is that ok?”
Tay tutted and shook his head in mock-disgust.
Will muttered, “Freaks.”
Annie smiled and nudged him affectionately. “Hey, thank you for looking after me, William. I’m not sure what I would have done without you. You’ve gone above and beyond what a friend should have to do. You are released from meal and cold drink preparation, and bucket providing duties for now.”
“Thank fuck, it’s been a nightmare.” He fanned himself dramatically.
“Love you.”
Tay added, “I love you too for looking after my girl. You have my eternal gratitude.”
“Gosh Hilly, get me to your room now, all this adoration is going to my head.”
“Which one?” grinned Annie, then grabbed Tay’s arm, exhaling slowly. “Is it much further?”
“No, literally the end of this road. You feeling sick?”
“Yeah, I can feel it starting. It’s usually the hour or so before food-time, but my body clock’s all over the place.”
Will dived into her bag, finding a cracker to give her and passing her an insulated flask of cold water. He reeled off some advice from the doctors, and said that small sips of iced water seemed to help, and if she ate something even if she didn’t really want it, it seemed to make
the feeling go a bit quicker than the full hour it could last. “Good luck, man. She’s not actually been sick yet, but I think the nausea is worse because she just feels like she’s gonna be sick but isn’t, so it never passes.”
They pulled up at the hotel and Tay helped Annie out of the car, picking her up as her legs wobbled and she grabbed at him. He strode to the lift, the concierge following with her bags, and stood waiting for it to come. She had her eyes closed and screwed up, whimpering as if every movement hurt.
They reached his room and he lay her gently on the bed, passing her the bin as a bucket, the concierge saying he would find something more suitable and come back. Tay drew the curtains a bit to dim the room and went out to the ice machine in the corridor for chipped ice. The guy returned with a plastic bowl, facecloths, mint, packets of ginger biscuits, and straws, saying that the ladies downstairs thought these may help. Tay tipped him and then at long last he was alone with Annie, and could stop worrying now he could see her and look after her as he was meant to do.
She alternated between crying and holding the bucket, then falling into slumber, before suddenly raising the bucket again. Tay got another bowl of ice chips and wet a facecloth in it, holding it against her skin which seemed to help. After about thirty minutes she raised her head, eyes still closed, “It’s starting to pass. Another ten minutes and I’ll be ravenous. Get ready.”
“For me or for food?”
“Ha! Sorry loverboy, most definitely food!” she smiled wanly, and it seemed the greatest achievement in the world for Tay after watching her these past forty-five minutes. Slowly the colour returned to her cheeks, and she managed to keep her eyes open.
“Hi!” smiled Tay, brushing her hair off her face.
“Hi. Sorry, this is the new me.”
“Don’t you dare apologise. I love the new you.”
“Can you get my toiletry bag out of my case? I’d like to attempt to shower and freshen up. I feel like I smell ill.”
Tay dug it out and helped her slowly sit up and walk into the bathroom, turning the shower on. He undressed her, ignoring her protests that she could do this bit, kissing her beautiful belly respectfully, then helping her in. He sat on the toilet lid, as they chatted.