by Cala Riley
Is this how it’s supposed to feel?
It feels good to have this intimacy.
“You look stunning tonight, Tinsley. I wanted to say that back there, but your brother was shooting me daggers. I wanted to feed you before my death.”
I burst out laughing. “Thank you. You look pretty good yourself. Reed won’t actually kill you. He’s all bark, no bite.”
“That’s not what I hear,” Xavier mumbles to himself.
Before I can ask him what he means, he speaks up. “Either way, I’m the luckiest guy to have you on my arm tonight.”
“If you keep complimenting me like this, my head won’t fit through the car door.” I blush.
“You deserve all the sweet words and actions to back them up. I meant what I said to Reed. You’re one of a kind.” He brings my hand up to his lips, kissing it.
I let the feeling wash through my body, sending shivers down my spine.
“Shit, are you cold? Let me turn on the heat.” He immediately pulls his hand from mine, turning the heat on low.
I’m way too embarrassed to tell him it was him that caused the shivers, instead putting up with the heat filling the car.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
He reaches back over, taking my hand again. “Anything for you, Tinsley.”
After a moment of silence, I start to fidget. “Can you… maybe, turn some music on?” I ask.
“Of course. Sorry.” He presses a button on the steering wheel.
Music immediately fills the car at a loud volume—some screaming metal music, making me want to cover my ears.
He chuckles at the look that must be on my face before turning the music down. “Not a fan of metal?” he muses.
I cringe. “It’s loud, and I can’t hear what they’re saying. I much prefer something I can sing along to.”
He smiles warmly at me. “I’d love to hear you sing. Put your music on.”
“No, it’s okay. Really, this is fine.”
“No way. You said you like to sing. What do you prefer?” He switches stations. After a moment, he leaves it on a top forty station.
As much as I try, I can’t help but start whispering the words to the song on the radio.
I glance over to find his knowing grin. “How did I know you were a top forty girl?”
I roll my eyes, singing louder now. By the time we pull up to the restaurant, my nerves have fled as I sing loudly, adding dance moves into the mix. Xavier sings along when he knows the words.
Once again, he meets me on my side of the car, opening the door to help me out. Taking my hand in his, he leads me to the restaurant. As we walk in, we’re instantly seated. Xavier lets me slide into the booth before him. I look at the table. It has a flattop burner on it.
“Are we cooking our own food?”
Xavier’s cheeks turn a little pink, but he looks confident as he puts his arm on the back of the booth behind me. “They’ll bring out course after course. It’s fondue style, so we will make it all here at the table. I probably should have asked if it was okay, but I thought it sounded like a good first date.”
I can’t help but smile. “It’s perfect. It sounds awesome. I didn’t even know this was a thing. Usually we end up at Noble or Momma’s House.”
“I’m glad you like it.”
The waitress comes by, and we place our drink order with her. When she comes back with our drinks, we place our meal order.
“So….” I trail off.
“So….”
“You're a metal guy.”
“And you're a top forty girl,” he teases.
“Next you’ll tell me your favorite color is black,” I tease back.
Xavier fake gasps. “How did you know!” he says, making me giggle. “For real though, my favorite color is blue.”
“Such a typical boy.” I smirk. “Mine’s green.”
“Green’s a good color but, honestly, not one I would have chosen for you.” He takes a drink. “Okay, now for a serious question. Rom-com or action movie?”
Our waitress silently drops off the food and leaves us to do our thing. Conversation comes easy throughout each course.
“Action all the way.”
“Girl after my own heart.”
I can’t help but blush. “What are your plans after graduation?”
“I have some options. College, obviously, but it’s a matter of which. I’ve been looking at going to school in Texas.”
“You said your family owns an oil business there, right?”
He nods. “We do. It would make sense to go there, immerse myself in that world. I’m expected to take over the business someday. Why not start working my way up now?”
“That’s very true.”
“What about you? What are your plans after graduation?”
“I’ll go to school. I’m sure my dad has some plan for me outside of that. He’s set on me getting my MRS degree.”
Xavier smirks. “I don’t think you’ll have any problem with that, sweetheart.” He tilts his head to the side. “Is that what you want though?”
I hold my response while the waitress drops off our dessert. “I honestly haven’t thought about what I would do if it’s just up to me. I’m more worried about keeping the peace between my dad and brothers right now than I am about what's next.” I shrug.
“It’s your life, Tinsley. Don’t let them make decisions about your life without you.”
“You’re right.”
“Can you repeat that?” Xavier smirks.
I roll my eyes and toss a marshmallow at him. He catches it and dips it into the chocolate fondue while I dip a piece of pineapple.
“So good,” I moan.
Xavier’s eyes go dark, and his eyes are trained on my lips. “You’re beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“You have a little chocolate right here.” He leans in and wipes the chocolate off the corner of my lips with his thumb.
“Thank you again,” I say while staring at his lips.
“When I kiss you, and I will, it will not be in a restaurant,” he says gruffly.
“Okay.” I know he doesn’t miss the breathlessness in my voice.
Xavier leans back and sets his napkin onto the table. “How about we get out of here?”
“Sounds good.”
Xavier slides out of the booth and tosses cash onto the table before holding his hand out for mine. I place mine in his, and we leave the restaurant.
He walks me to the passenger side of his car and opens the door. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready for tonight to end.” He picks up a piece of my hair and twirls it around his finger.
“I’m not either.”
“Well, what would you like to do?”
I bite my lip and think. “Well, it’s a Friday night.” I hesitate. “We could go to Rocky’s house. Honestly, it’s probably the only place Reed will let you take me, especially party wise.”
“Why’s that?”
I forget that he doesn’t know my family. He doesn’t know how protective my brothers are or that my family life is a fucked-up mess.
With him, I’m not Baby Yates or Tin Tin, a child never allowed to grow up.
With him, I’m Tinsley.
I give him a small smile. “Rocky and Reed are friends. Rocky will keep an eye on me, so Reed will let me go.”
“Yeah? I’m game if you are.”
“Let’s go.” I slide into the passenger seat, and Xavier shuts the door. I pull up my messages and send one.
Me: We’re going to Rocky’s
Sage: Are you sure that’s a good idea?
Xavier slides into his seat and starts the car.
Me: I am.
Sage: Clearly the date’s going well. Reed just texted Rocky and told him to keep an eye on you. Don’t do anything too crazy.
I don’t bother responding to her message and pull up Google Maps instead. “Okay, this is where we’re going.”
I show Xavi
er my phone.
“Easy enough. Here, let me put the address in my navigation system, that way you can save your battery.”
Xavier gets us on the road, and I sing to the song on the radio about how a guy will never find another girl like me. Xavier chuckles.
“What’s so funny?”
“How on point this song is? You’re definitely one of a kind, Tinsley Yates.”
“Thank you.”
I sing the rest of the way to Rocky’s.
“This place is busy.”
“It is.” I unbuckle my seat belt as Xavier shuts the car off and undoes his.
“Don’t get out.” Xavier jumps out of the car and rounds the hood to open my door.
“Thank you.” I slide my hand into his. He shuts the car door and moves to hold my hand more firmly.
“Ready?”
I nod, and we head inside.
It’s crowded, and I look around and see some familiar faces.
“Looks like we could get a drink over there.” Xavier points to the left of me.
I nod and let him take the lead, weaving us through the people.
“What would you like to drink?” He lets go of my hand and pulls me into him, resting his hand on my hip.
“Water will be fine.”
Xavier gets the attention of the bartender and orders us both waters. Looking around, I spot an empty bench on the porch. I tap Xavier’s chest and get his attention before pointing towards the bench, and he nods. I move out of his grasp and go claim the bench. After a minute, Xavier joins me.
“Nice find, Tinsley.” He hands me my water.
“Thank you.” I take a drink. “Do you dance?”
“I will if I have a pretty girl to spin around.”
“Well damn, I guess I’m out of luck.”
Xavier pulls me into him. “Nah, if anything, I think you're in luck.”
✽✽✽
Finley
I’m playing pool with Nate and two other guys. I line up the cue ball with the solid yellow and make the shot. It goes in, and I move around the table to line up with the solid green. Right as I draw back, Nate asks, “Hey, isn’t that the youngest Yates?”
I miss the shot and look up, my gaze immediately finding her. She’s cuddled up with some guy I’ve never seen before. “I’m out.” I toss my stick on the table and move her way.
“What the fuck, Fin!” Nate yells behind me. I flip him the bird over my shoulder.
“What are you doing here?”
Her shocked look meets mine.
“Me? What are you doing here? I thought you were busy pulling your disappearing act.”
I grab her arm, pulling her away, but golden boy steps in, trying to push me off her. I drop her arm, pushing at him instead.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” I fume.
“Stop it.” Tinsley pushes her way between us.
I don’t miss the fact that she puts her back to him as if she’s protecting him from me. She should be. I’m going to murder this kid.
“Do you know this guy?” golden boy asks.
“Xavier, this is Finley. He’s friends with my brothers. Finley, this is my date, Xavier.”
“Let’s go. I’m taking you home.” I grab her arm again, but she pulls away.
“Absolutely not.”
“Tinsley, I’m barely holding my shit together. You will come with me.”
She turns and whispers something to the boy before turning and leading me around the house. Once out of earshot, she turns, stopping me in my tracks.
“I will be going nowhere with you.” She folds her arms across her chest, pressing her tits up with the move.
What the hell is she wearing?
I’m momentarily distracted before her words settle in.
“You don’t want to come with me? Fine. I’ll call Keaton or Reed.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’ll call them myself. They know I’m out with Xavier. They even know I’m here. Maybe if you came around more often, you would know that I have their approval to date Xavier.”
I grind my teeth. Has it really been that long? When was the last time I talked to Keaton or Reed?
I run my fingers through my hair. “I’d feel better if I could take you home. Please.”
She shakes her head while letting out a humorless laugh. “Look at you. Big bad Finley ready to haul me out of here. Newsflash. I’m not a fucking child. I can take care of myself. I’m sorry if that bothers you, but honestly, I don’t give a flying fuck anymore. You’ve made your feelings very fucking clear.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“That you can’t stop me from dating just because you’re too much of a fucking pussy to claim me yourself. This isn’t a situation where if you can’t have me nobody can. You need to get your shit together and stop avoiding the family before you lose them too.”
She doesn’t wait for my response. Walking around me, she goes back to the guy she came with. I wait a couple of moments before I follow behind, stopping just out of sight. My eyes follow her all the way back over to Xavier. He welcomes her under his arm as he continues to talk to some guys.
She looks comfortable cuddled up to him, her smile lighting up her face. She looks happy.
“You good, bro?” Nate appears from out of nowhere.
“Of course. I’m over this party. Let’s go get high.”
Leading the way, he walks me further away from the house to a cluster of trees. He looks around twice before he puts a joint in his mouth, lighting it. He puffs on it a couple of times before handing it to me, his eyes still roaming.
“You scared to get caught, bro?” I tease before taking a hit.
He laughs. “Rocky would kick my ass if he caught me smoking. We aren’t supposed to sample the product and all that.”
Handing it back, I nod in acknowledgement. “Family. I get it.”
Rocky only cares about one thing in his life. Nate. His younger brother. While he may be friendly with others and do favors for those he may like enough, like me, he wouldn’t put any of his own skin on the line for us. For Nate, he would. Because of that, Nate is held to a higher standard.
That pressure? It can be crushing.
We stand silent, both lost in our own worlds, passing the joint back and forth. As the mellowness seeps into my bones, I stare into the darkness.
Out of nowhere, Nate speaks. “I see the way you stare at the Yates girl. You got a thing for her.”
It wasn’t a question, so I don’t answer him.
“The demons inside haunt us. Control us. We put on a facade to hide the darkest, cruelest parts of us, but every once in a while, they show through our eyes. She’s beautiful. Innocent. You’re sheltering her.”
“It’s fucked up. I need to let her go because I will extinguish that light inside her. Yet, I can’t stand the thought of another motherfucker laying one finger on her.”
I see him nod from my peripheral. “That’s the struggle, man. Either we grab what we want and damn them to hell with us, or we let them go and watch them live from the outside. It’s a no-win situation.”
I let his words sink in. “What would you do?”
“Me?” He smirks. “I’ve never been one to deny myself something I want. To hell with the consequences.” He pats my shoulder. “You do what’s best for you, man.”
He hands the rest of the joint over before walking back to the house.
I wish I was more like him. Then maybe I could get out of my head and go after the only thing I want.
Looking towards the house, I shake my head.
I’m not Nate though. If Reed and Keaton let her out with this guy, I have to respect that they know what they’re doing. That they no longer need me to watch out for her.
That she no longer needs me.
✽✽✽
Chapter Four
October
Tinsley
It’s been a month since Xavier and I started dating. Well, I guess what we
’re doing is dating. I like him, but I’m not sure I like him like that. We have some things in common, but we’re more different than I originally thought.
I mean, he hates sweets. Who hates sweets? He eats vegetables as a snack. Oh, and he avoids coffee. I can’t even function without a cup in the morning.
Even with all of that, I’m still giving him a chance. He’s nice to me, and we get along. It doesn’t hurt that he’s gorgeous. Or the fact that by dating him, my dad is finally proud of me for something—even if it’s just finally choosing the right boy.
“Hey, getting ready for Samhain?” Sage asks from the doorway of my closet.
I turn to look at her. “No, I’m not going.”
“Why not?”
“I’d rather not. I’m going over to Xavier’s instead.” I turn back around and grab a kimono off its hanger and slip it on.
“I just assumed you would go this year since you were so excited to go last year.”
“Yeah, well, I had built it up in my head, and it wasn’t as good as I expected it to be,” I say lightly as I pass her and walk towards my bed.
“I could see that. It’s barbaric anyways if you ask me, but to each their own.”
“Don’t lie. You loved it when you went with Reed.”
Sage smirks. “It was... educational, that's for sure.”
I cringe. “I don’t want to know.” I sit down on the edge of my bed and slip my shoes on.
Sage laughs. “So you're going to Xavier’s?”
“I am. We’re going to watch movies and hand out candy.”
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with him. I take it it’s going well?”
“It is. He treats me like a queen.” I sigh.
“That's a good thing.”
“It is. It really is.”
“But he’s not Finley,” Sage probes.
“He’s not, but that's a good thing.” I stand and grab my purse off my bed. “And I'm off.”
“Well, have fun!”
“You too. Love you!” I yelled over my shoulder as I bound down the stairs.
Tonight will be a good night.
The drive over to his house is short as I let myself get lost in the music like I always do. Something about music has always calmed my soul. It speaks to me.
I still remember the first time I fell in love with music. I’d like to say it was all on my own, but it wasn’t. I mean, I liked music well enough.