by Sue MacKay
His parents had been the best mum and dad out there, loving him unconditionally, making him feel wanted, needed. He’d loved them back just as much, though naturally he’d pushed every button they’d had and some. He’d had a happy family life—until that fateful night when he’d been ten years old.
He’d been staying with his best friend down the road in Bloomsbury when the doorbell had rung. It had been so loud and shrill in the quiet evening that he’d felt a chill up his back. He’d never been able to explain why he’d known something wasn’t right and that it involved him. Uncle Robert had been standing on the doorstep, and the news had been grim.
His parents were dead, killed in a car accident, and from then on he was to live with his uncle and aunt and cousins. It was a lie because within three months he’d been sent to boarding school, and had only gone back to the house for those school holidays when he hadn’t gone to his friend’s home. Since that day he’d been searching for love like that that had been stolen from him, but he’d always been afraid that if he found it, it would once again be whipped away.
Yet he’d fallen for Christine and married her. In the beginning she’d been friendly, and keen to have two children, though he’d learned after the wedding that making love was only for ovulation days. Oh, and the fortune he’d inherited from his father was necessary to keep her happy, and the London house equally important. It hadn’t taken long to realise that the deep, abiding love his parents had had and which he’d been looking for wasn’t happening with Christine so he’d filed for divorce. Thanks to the pre-nup he still had most of his inheritance. Letting his father down on that aspect would’ve decimated him. But neither had he been miserly, making sure Christine didn’t go without.
Ping. ‘What floor do you want?’ a young woman asked.
‘Two, thanks.’ Better let her press the button. That way he might arrive where he needed to be.
Not where he wanted to be. Which was in a café with coffees on the table between him and Anastasia. If she even liked coffee. He’d better start calling her Stacey, in front of staff at least. That’d keep everyone else away from trying to guess what their relationship was about. It might also help him remain grounded and not rushing into something he might later regret.
To think he’d woken that morning fully expecting a normal, chaotic day in Theatre and on the ward, dealing with other people’s problems, and getting up to speed with the staff and this hospital and how different it was to work in London compared to Auckland, where everyone was more relaxed with each other, and he’d enjoyed getting to know his cousin from his mother’s side. It had been tempting to stay but the sense of unfinished business back in London had nagged.
Anastasia had also always popped into his head at those moments, and many others. Already there’d been days he’d regretted returning home, but responsibilities had called in the form of his uncle and aunt, and he wasn’t one to neglect duty. Even when it involved people who’d neglected him. So here he was, and he’d make the most of the situation.
His thoughts returned to Anastasia. Her ready smile and sparkling eyes, her deep, genuine laughter full of happiness. Her hourglass figure, and those dance moves.
His gut clenched, his heart flipped, and a sigh trickled over his lips. Should’ve stayed in Auckland. It would’ve been easier, safer, and a whole lot more boring now that he’d found Anastasia again.
CHAPTER TWO
STACEY HELPED JONATHON into a clean gown. ‘The porter will be here shortly to take you down to Theatre. Mr Kennedy has put you first on his list and is waiting for you.’
He’d prioritised Jonathon when she’d called with the lab results, said he’d already decided he was going to operate because something was seriously wrong, and he believed it was appendicitis. And he’d acknowledged Anastasia’s opinion. Yep. They did have an unexplainable link between them.
Just listening to that deep gravelly voice gave her the shivers in the nicest, warmest way possible, and reminded her of what lay ahead before she could even consider anything else. He was the father of her daughter. That would be a game changer. Whether he liked her or not. Whether he wanted to spend time with her, or never see her again other than on the ward.
Another thought stopped her in her tracks. What if he turned against her when she told him about Holly? Got nasty and said she was lying? All very well being able to prove his parenthood, but that didn’t mean he’d remain friendly. She might have to apply for a new position. She loved this job, was so proud of being head nurse, and changing jobs would hurt like hell.
So don’t even consider it. Stand your ground. You’ve done nothing wrong.
‘The doc doesn’t muck around, does he?’ her patient said.
‘It appears that way.’ Was Noah like that in all his endeavours, or just with patients requiring urgent care? How would he take her news? It’d knock him for sure. But how would he react? She doubted he’d procrastinate. He’d taken her into the centre of the dance floor the moment she’d said yes to dancing with him, and when she’d asked him to kiss her he hadn’t hesitated. A man who knew his own mind. Another point in his favour was that he hadn’t been pushy or demanding when they’d made love. He’d been considerate and gentle. Yes, and hot and wonderful. She flapped a hand in front of her face. ‘It’s warm in here.’
‘Can’t say I’m noticing,’ Jonathon commented.
‘That’s probably nerves. I’ll get you a blanket. Oh, hi, Jim. Jonathon, your porter’s here.’
Dashing to the storeroom, she got a blanket, and after wrapping Jonathon up snug she went to check on one of the women who’d been involved in the pile-up last night. ‘How’s she doing, Ada?’
The nurse looking after Patsy Miller was reading the cardiac monitor attached to her patient. ‘She nodded off after I administered some morphine. She has a history of arrhythmia and was operated on for a perforated bowel last night. Her obs are good, though I’m watching that heart monitor like a hawk.’
‘Good. Let me know if anything changes.’ She headed back to the hub to look at the notes on Mrs Miller. Noah was her surgeon, which meant he’d been working during the night, and didn’t look at all tired this morning. It also meant another reason for him to possibly visit the ward later. No avoiding him. I don’t want to. But there was the Holly issue. He had to be told sooner rather than later, or when he heard about Holly, he’d think she’d been holding out on him for her own reasons.
Damn it, she liked the man, or what little she knew of him. Liked? Okay, he’d been fun, caring, sexy as all be it, and prepared to stop what they’d started if she’d had a change of heart. He’d insisted on paying for a taxi for her, though he hadn’t won that one. She more than liked him, way more. She froze on the spot. What if he was married? Already had a family of his own? Why hadn’t she thought of that before? Because she’d hoped they might have more in common than one night. Not thinking about that until she’d seen him again.
Whatever the answers to her questions, he was Holly’s father, and didn’t know it. He had to be told. Next move—hers.
She’d do it ASAP. She needed to ask Noah to have that coffee he’d mentioned. Forget time to come to terms with him being back in her life. But though it was all very well knowing and believing in what was the right thing to do, it was a totally different prospect now the time was here to follow through. Keeping Holly a secret had never been on the agenda. Still wasn’t. Except she felt awkward about walking up to him and saying, ‘Hey, have I got news for you.’ So, ask him to meet after work.
‘Want a coffee?’ Jason leaned over the counter, interrupting her chain of thought.
Not with you, or anyone other than Noah. Deep breath. ‘Sure do. I’ll be along in a minute.’ Stacey glanced at her watch and was surprised to see nearly an hour had passed while she’d been doing the ‘paperwork’. Noah would’ve finished operating on Jonathon Black. Unless there was more to the man’s
pain than they’d believed.
The phone by her elbow rang. ‘Surgical ward, Stacey speaking.’
‘Anastasia. Sorry, Stacey, it’s Noah. I thought you’d like to know your summation of Black’s condition was correct, though it’d gone further and turned into peritonitis.’
Coming from him in that deep, gravelly voice, she liked it when he said ‘Anastasia’. He made it sound special, theirs from that wonderful night they’d shared. Except everyone would want to know why he did. She huffed out a breath. ‘You got it in time. Are there any side effects at the pancreatic site?’
‘We need to be vigilant over infection. I’ve prescribed stronger, intravenous antibiotics to start immediately.’
This was good. They were surgeon and nurse, discussing a patient, not two people catching up after a long time with only hot memories—and a child—between them.
Don’t forget where this has to go—Holly.
A quiver started up in her hands. ‘I’ll make sure everyone knows the situation.’
‘Anastasia, how do you feel about catching up with me away from here?’
Excited. Nervous. Scared. Happy. No, not happy with Holly in the middle of everything. But it had to be done. Ta-da, ta-da, went her heart. Why couldn’t her life run smoothly so she could shout, Yes, I’d love to, and by the way...
‘I’d love to.’
She had to, didn’t she? If nothing else, she had to suss him out as her daughter’s father. Forewarned was forearmed, or so they said. Just because she found him attractive and desirable, it didn’t mean he was perfect. Certainly didn’t endorse him as a parent, though even in the short time she’d spent with him she’d swear he’d be a good father. Maybe she was biased. After one night in his bed? Well, his kindness, gentle touches and readiness to follow her lead did say a lot about a man. But there was no delaying telling him the truth.
A low chuckle came through the phone, making her smile. ‘You haven’t changed a bit.’
Oh, yes, I have. Because of you, I got over Angus. Though I’m still wary of trusting a man with my heart again. Also, because of you, I’m a mum with the most adorable little girl imaginable.
‘Call me when you have a spare moment.’ The phone banged hard as she put it back on its holder.
Closing her eyes, she pictured Holly on the swing in the park yesterday, giggling as the hem of her pink, frilly skirt blew up under her chin. Holly, her darling girl. Noah had to love her. Had to. No option, or she didn’t know what she’d do. As long as he didn’t try to take Holly away from her. He wouldn’t. But compared to her family, he’d be well off. He was a medical specialist so might think he could provide a better life for their daughter. He’d have the battle of all battles if he tried that on. But she was getting ahead of herself.
He knew nothing about what had gone on in her life after they had parted that morning in his hotel room. She wanted to take her time learning more about his lifestyle and him, before exposing herself and Holly, but she didn’t have that right. She could only trust her gut instinct—Noah Kennedy would do the right thing by them all. Fingers crossed.
‘I gave up waiting.’ Jason plonked a full mug in front of her and pulled out the other seat at the counter.
‘Sorry, you know how it is. Mr Black’s had an appendectomy and will be back on the ward later this morning. We need to keep a close eye on him for developing infection at the original operation site, and make sure it’s not ramping up this latest problem.’
‘Poor guy. He’ll be sore for a while.’ Jason munched on a biscuit. ‘So what do you think of our new surgeon?’
My lips are sealed.
‘So far I like him.’ She spluttered into her coffee. ‘He seems to know what he’s doing,’ she said, trying for a smile but suspecting it came off as a grimace.
‘Guess that means he’ll be too busy for his ward round today.’
She shook her head. ‘No mention of it.’ She needed to know if Noah was going to turn up so as not to get taken by surprise and look out of her depth. Ward rounds were a piece of cake, all part of her duty, but Noah suddenly appearing in front of her was not. ‘How much have you had to do with him?’
Jason shrugged. ‘Much the same as with any of them. He’s an okay guy, though. Not arrogant and willingly shows concern for his patients. They all seem to think he’s the best.’
He’s the best.
That Stacey understood. Jason had described the man she’d met, without the patients. He had been the best for her when it came to dancing and making love. And sharing jokes and laughter. And changing her life. The phone rang again, and she left Jason to deal with the caller. Her work inbox was full of non-urgent messages that had to be dealt with sooner rather than later, because the inward flow never stopped and only caused her a headache if she ignored them. Staying on top of everything was the only way to work in this busy environment that she loved being a part of.
It’d been her ambition to become a nurse since she’d been a child and played with her grandmother’s nursing badge. Once she’d even dressed up in a white uniform and cap like Gran used to wear as matron and had gone off to the fancy-dress party at school, proud as punch to sport the treasured badge. That badge had become hers when Gran had died, and was still in her jewellery box, polished and shining.
‘Have you got a free moment, Anastasia?’
Her head jerked up and her gaze met Noah’s full on. ‘Yes, I have.’ A glance at the wall clock showed midday. Past lunchtime for her. Where had the morning gone? Out with those blasted emails, no doubt. Rising from her seat, she rubbed her lower back, which was aching from sitting so long hunched over the keyboard when she wasn’t talking to various nurses about their patients. ‘I hear Jonathon’s a lot more comfortable than he was first thing this morning.’
‘I’m pleased to hear it. Now, is there somewhere we can talk? I don’t have long with Theatre beckoning.’
‘Who do you want to see first?’
Noah looked down at her, his mouth doing that one-sided smile thing. ‘You.’
‘This isn’t a ward round?’ He was still watching her, and that smile was still happening. Her insides softened. He was gorgeous.
‘Not at all.’
Of course he only did those twice a week. ‘Oh.’
‘Don’t tell me you’re stumped for words. I don’t believe it.’ He grinned.
She couldn’t help laughing. He had a way of talking to her that made her feel good about herself. ‘You’d better.’
‘The staff kitchen? It’s close and time’s short.’
The poky room where they made coffee and ate sandwiches at a speed that gave them indigestion? Her heart dipped. Not much going to happen in there, especially if anyone else was there. There’d be no space to breathe in air. ‘Sure.’ She led the way, aware of Noah behind her every step.
Despite the tight knots in her neck and shoulders she felt good. Hope fought with the Holly knots in her stomach. If she and Noah could get along this easily after a very brief history then the future could be bright. Not for them as a couple or anything so deep and meaningful, but so they could share parenting. Actually, that made her nervous. She wasn’t ready to give up any of what she had with her daughter, while she wanted so much more with Holly’s father for herself.
He touched her shoulder lightly. ‘Where have you gone?’
She shivered. His touch sent sparks in all directions. Beware. This man saw too much for her liking. ‘I’m right here, ready to hear why Mr Kennedy wants to talk to me privately.’ And to talk about themselves, learn more about him, let him know where she came from in terms of family, and what Angus had done to her. Because she would tell him all that, and then he might understand why she’d been so willing to have fun that night they’d inadvertently made a baby. The night when she’d woken up from the apathy Angus had left her with, when her heart had come alive. Still
was if the thumping going on was anything to go by. Noah Kennedy did that to her as easily as he’d kissed her. Heat trickled into her cheeks as a wave of longing rolled through her.
‘Guess that’s my cue to get a wriggle on.’ He was watching her too closely, but at least his smile remained. ‘I can’t believe I’ve finally caught up with you. It’s wonderful.’
Again he’d got to her, softening the tension holding her tight. On again, off again. He was wonderful, and had her dreaming of them being together, close and personal. Nothing like her usual calm disposition.
Show him that and only that side of yourself.
‘We could dance around the room.’
Without hesitation, he reached for her, took her hand and one step. ‘I’m on if you are.’ His smile lightened his face, and lifted her spirits higher. ‘You’re just as I remember.’ He blinked.
Laughter bubbled up her throat as she pulled away. ‘That would so not be a good look if anyone walked in. They’re already wondering why I’m Anastasia to you.’ So was Stacey. It had been a bit awkward when Jason and Liz had commented. She hadn’t realised they’d been within hearing distance when she’d talked to Noah earlier, but she should’ve known. There were no secrets amongst staff on the wards. People were always popping up all over the show, doing their jobs and homing in on background conversations.
Noah nudged the door closed, shutting them into the airless space before tugging her close. ‘I once met this amazing Anastasia who loved to dance, among other things, and if I change her name to Stacey that night will fracture.’
She stumbled, ducked away from his hand when he reached to catch her. ‘You what?’ His memories were that good? This was nuts. They’d had a blast, sure, and she’d been hooked for life, but did he really feel it had been so good he didn’t want to forget it either?