“I’m going to have a baby.” Bridget smiled at the empty bassinet next to her bed. Then her face pinched and her hand rubbed her lower back. “I need to pack my bag.”
“Got it.” Billy lifted the bag that he placed by the door.
She looked at him, and with a half-smile, she shook her head. “Of course.”
She went to her dresser and pulled out clean clothes and changed in the bathroom. He stood by the open door impatiently waiting for her to finish. He watched the clock, waiting for her to complain about another pain.
She casually walked out, taking her own sweet time. He was moments away from picking her up and carrying her to his truck. She needed a hospital. Now. She slid on a pair of flip-flops, the only shoes that fit her swollen feet. “Hold on. I need to make a phone call.”
“Bridget,” he warned.
Bridget lifted her brows in return. “Billy.” She mimicked his tone. “Just give me a minute.”
Flipping through a notebook near the phone, she found the number she was looking for. Nervously, she held the receiver in one hand. It took her a minute before she entered the phone number.
“Hi. Yes, is Phillip there?”
Phillip?
“Are you sure? Can you double check?”
The father.
It was the first time Billy heard his name.
“Fine. Then can you leave him a message for when he gets home from his date?” Her voice strained. He wasn’t sure if she was on the verge of crying until she turned to the side and realized she was pissed.
“Tell him…tell him to meet Bridget at Flagstaff Medical Center.”
“Yes, Shawn, it’s me, Bridget. B-R-I-D-G-E-T. He knows who I am.” She sighed with annoyance. If Billy had any idea where this kid lived, he would beat the shit out of him and his friends for giving her grief.
“Please, just tell him.”
“Thank you.”
Just as she hung up the phone, she moaned in pain.
Billy checked his watch and made a mental note of the time.
Once the pain subsided, she turned around and said, “I’m ready.”
Bridget held her baby girl with an ease of an experienced mother. Looking at her, you wouldn’t know she went through hours of labor and near the end cried that she couldn’t do it.
They made a beautiful picture. Billy had never seen anything as tender as the love in Bridget’s eyes for the sweet package in her arms. At that moment, he wished that they were his, that he was a part of this family. He wasn’t in love with Bridget by any means. He loved her, but she was very much too young. But he could envision himself with them. It was a strange feeling, and he wasn’t sure what to do with it.
When the doctor placed the baby on Bridget’s chest for the first time, Billy and Diane cried their eyes out while Bridget grinned and cooed at her bundle. Up to that point, Bridget kept the name a secret. When she caressed her daughter’s cheek and opened up the blanket and counted her fingers and toes, she said, “Hello, Katherine Bree Larson. It’s nice to meet you.”
Diane’s eyes shined as she asked about the name.
“Katherine for my mother and Bree…just my name shortened.” For a split second she frowned, before sighing and lifting her daughter so she could kiss her cheeks. “I love you, Katie,” Bridget whispered.
Billy melted. Right then and there. Bridget handed him her daughter swaddled in a pink blanket with a pink and white striped cap over her thick brown hair. She looked like a piece of candy all pink and sugary. He whispered his own words to her. Diane swears that it was impossible, but when he called Katie Sweets, she smiled at him. “It’s gas,” Diane repeated.
After Diane had left with Chuck and the rest of the crew from the diner, Billy was left alone with Bridget and Katie. Bridget sat on the hospital bed, eating food, or something resembling it while he had a moment alone with Katie. A protective instinct hit him in the chest. He whispered a promise to Katie, who had nodded off, that he would always be there for her and Bridget. And he would.
“Coffee. I need coffee.” After a busy day yesterday and being up all night, he was losing momentum. He could nap, but he was too afraid something would happen to the girls if he did. He knew it was irrational, and if asked, he’d blame it on the lack of sleep. “I’m going to head to the cafeteria. Do you want anything?” Bridget shook her head, barely taking her eyes off her daughter. “Is there someone you want me to call?” He noticed that the only people who showed up were the employees from the diner. No friends, no Dad, and no Phillip. She didn’t look at him when she shook her head no.
Nobody.
He didn’t understand it. Everyone who met her adored her. She should’ve at least had some friends at school who’d like to know. But as his brain scanned through the past five months, he realized, nobody came to see her, she never talked about friends, and never did anything with anyone outside of the diner. Once again, his protective side went on high alert. He’d always be there for her.
As the door closed behind him, he heard a man’s voice ask for Bridget’s room. He turned the corner to see a tall and broad, college-age kid standing next to the nurses’ station. He wore a baseball cap over shaggy hair, his face was scruffy, and his eyes—a distinctive light blue color—had dark circles under them. Wrinkled clothes hung from his form. They appeared to be too big for him, surprising consider his large size.
One of the nurses pointed in Billy’s direction and said, “Room two fifty-four.”
The kid replied with a mumbled, “Thanks,” and made two steps toward the room.
Billy stepped away and stood against the opposite wall, watching the kid, wondering what he was going to do.
The kid walked to the door and placed a hand on the door handle, but that was as far as he got. His hand jerked away and met his other behind his head. He leaned his forehead against the wall, mumbling something to himself. He pushed away from the wall and paced to the door twice before leaning against the wall again, taking in deep breathes.
Billy couldn’t watch anymore. This kid either needed to man up or leave.
He’s leaving.
Phillip pulled his ball cap low on his forehead and headed for the elevator. Billy couldn’t believe it. What kind of person did that? Impregnates a girl then abandons her? He wanted to rip the guy to shreds for what he did and was doing at that moment.
“Phillip,” he called out.
The kid’s head shot up, and he looked at Billy curiously. “Do I know you?” he asked.
“No. I’m a friend of Bridget’s.”
“How is she? How’s the…the baby?”
“Bridget’s doing great, and her daughter is perfect.”
“Daughter,” he repeated. Of course, he didn’t know she was having a girl. He would’ve had to actually talk to her to get that kind of news.
They stared at each other for a few tense moments.
“Don’t tell her I was here.” And just like that, Phillip turned away. Instead of taking the elevator, he shot through the door leading to the stairway.
“I wasn’t planning on it,” Billy said to nobody.
Before heading to the cafeteria, he made a stop at a pay phone. He pulled out the number he looked up weeks ago and dialed.
It rang several times before an answering machine picked up. “Hi, Mr. Larson, my name is Billy Hall. I’m a friend of your daughter’s. I thought you’d like to know that she gave birth this morning. She’s still at the hospital but should be released tomorrow. She’s in room two fifty-four.” Billy hung up and crossed his fingers that at least her dad would try to make contact.
Billy glanced at the baby girl snuggled in her car seat then over at the girl who had one hand resting on her daughter and the other lay at her side as her head leaned against the window. She looked lost in thought as he drove them to his house. Before he turned down his street, she sighed as she stared out the window. “He didn’t come.” Her voice broke, but no tears fell. If anyone had a right to break down, it was B
ridget. Her melancholy only lasted a few minutes, but once she glanced at her daughter, it was gone. Her smile broke out and she whispered, “Just me and you, kid.”
His heart broke a little more. He had to do something. Anything. She shouldn’t be alone.
“What are we doing here?” Bridget asked.
“I thought it would be better for you two to stay at my place for a few weeks before you head back to school. It’s quiet and nobody will bother you. If you stayed in the apartment, you’d have a line of people knocking on your door.
She smiled and nodded. “Thanks for always thinking of me—us. I don’t say it enough, but I appreciate it. I mean it.”
Billy blushed at her acknowledgment. “I’m here for you.”
After getting Katie settled in her bassinet, he and Bridget relaxed on his couch. Billy wanted to let her sleep, but he wanted to talk to her about something he thought about after their conversation in his truck.
“I have an idea. Before you say anything, hear me out,” he announced.
“Okay,” she said sleepily. She leaned into the corner of the couch; her eyes growing heavy.
“I think we should get married.”
She sat up straight and blinked as her mouth fell open. “Billy...are you crazy?”
“No, hear me out. I have a house that fits us. Katie could have her own room. You could too until—you know—you were ready or we shared a room. I can take care of both of you. I could adopt Katie, and then we could be a family.”
The whole time he spoke, she shook her head. “No.”
“No? You didn’t even think about it.”
“I don’t have to. You don’t love me.”
“I do. I mean not in the marriage way, but we could grow to love each other, and I could take care of you two.”
“I appreciate it; I really do, but I want to marry for love, not for a sense of responsibility.
“It really is a no?” Billy couldn’t explain why he was so hurt by her refusal. On one hand, he was sort of relieved, but on the other, he’d never asked a girl to marry him before. It kind of stung to hear a no.
“Yeah, it is. Plus, you have a girlfriend. Remember?”
Freja. He never called her back. In fact, he hadn’t even thought of her until Bridget mentioned her.
Bridget raised her brows as he realized the insanity of his idea. As she yawned and stretched, she thanked him for the offer. “I’m going to hit the hay.”
“Good night, Bridget.”
“Good night, Billy.” She gave him a sweet smile before heading off to bed.
Chapter Sixteen
August 11:00 AM
Bridget
“He kissed me.”
Bracing herself against the back door of the diner, her fingers grazed her lips. She could still feel the heat of his body and his warm lips against hers. Her heart rate hadn’t slowed down yet. All she could think about was running back upstairs to ask him what the kiss meant. “Was he just comforting me? Does he feel sorry for me? Or could he… NO! Don’t get your hopes up, Bridget. You’ll only be disappointed.” She glanced around, making sure nobody could hear her talking to herself.
Before leaving, Billy promised to distract Katie while Bridget met with Phillip. Her thoughts were so focused on Katie’s departure and the attention Billy had been giving her, she almost forgot Phillip was coming.
“I don’t want to do this,” Bridget groaned.
She swung open the back door, revealing a busy kitchen. They closed the diner after the breakfast rush to prep for Katie’s party. The usual smell of fried food was replaced with the scent of chocolate cake. Employees lined up along the counter, chatting and laughing while making sandwiches that would feed the guests.
Bridget slowly placed one foot in front of the other. Each step became more difficult than the last. It had been five years since she last saw Phillip, and that meeting had not gone well. They’d been talking a couple of times a week since May, but she was still dreading this moment.
She poked her head around the open office door to peek at the profile of the man she once loved. Phillip was studying the pictures of Katie’s life that lined Billy’s office walls. When they were young, he’d used his large size to intimidate. He was still large, but his dark frame glasses, worn jeans, and casual collared shirt gave the impression of being relaxed and approachable.
She thought she was past the hurt and the loss of what she wanted so badly as a lonely, grieving, sixteen-year-old. But watching him gaze at pictures depicting the significant life moments of a daughter he didn’t know was almost too much. Memories of their time together, the good and the bad, as well as all her disappointed hopes and dreams, bombarded her, just like they had the last time she saw him.
This time, though, she had to be stronger for Katie’s sake. As she watched, his eyes moved to the picture of her and Katie on the day she was born. His shoulders slumped, and he sucked in air, letting it out in a sigh. She didn’t have to wonder what he was thinking when she noticed tears stream down his cheek.
He’d apologized more than once, but it was seeing him so vulnerable that broke the last bit of the wall she’d built between them.
She stuffed her hands into her pockets and leaned against the doorframe. Stilling her nerves, she interrupted the silence, “That one was from her Senior Prom.”
Caught off guard, he bumped the picture and it crashed to the floor. “I’m sorry.” He picked it up and stared through the cracked glass at the photo of his daughter and her date.
She took a few steps into the room. “He was her second boyfriend. They had been going out for a few months before the Prom, but they broke up right before he left for college.”
His face softened when he asked, “Was she heartbroken?” Bridget’s heart softened a bit more at his fatherly concern.
“Yes.” Katie had cried for days and still had a thing for him, but Bridget didn’t tell Phillip that.
“What about her first boyfriend?”
Bridget held back a growl at the thought of that punk. “He’s lucky I let him live.” She didn’t expand.
Phillip’s fists tightened. He got the idea. “I wasn’t here.”
“Don’t blame yourself. I should have—”
“Nope. We’re not doing this. We both made mistakes. We have to move on from here and be the parents she needs. If she’ll allow me to. It’s obvious she and Billy are close, but I hope there’s room for me.”
“Yeah. He’s always been there for her.” For us.
Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Phillip stared down at his feet. “I’m jealous of their relationship, but, at the same time, grateful he was here for both of you.” Phillip had to clear his throat before finishing. “It should have been me.” The pain was evident. At that moment, she realized that maybe she had the easy part. Dealing with the guilt had to be ten times worse.
“I don’t know where I would be if it weren’t for him.” She spoke more to herself than to Phillip.
Phillip turned to face her, their eyes meeting for the first time. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Are you two—”
She didn’t let him finish. “Friends, just friends. He isn’t in love with me.” Or so she thought up until a few minutes ago when he had his lips on hers.
“Are you?” Phillip turned back to the wall of pictures. It was as if he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to know. He was the last person Bridget ever expected to share her feelings with, but there was no harm in him knowing.
Not wanting any of the employees who might pass by to hear, she stood next to him, facing the same wall and whispered, “So much it hurts.”
“I expected or maybe hoped to find you happily married with more kids. I still can’t believe it’s not your life.”
“Me either.” She had hoped too.
“You’re still young, Bri. You never know.”
Swallowing a sob, she fought to catch her breath. No one called her Bri except for him
. It was always a symbol of his affection for her. She no longer loved him, but the memories still lingered along with the hurt.
Phillip cleared his throat and turned to face her. “I have a million regrets, Bri. My biggest was abandoning you and Katie. It couldn’t have been easy for you.”
Bridget quickly covered her mouth, choking back the tears. All the hurt of the past eighteen years flooded back fresh and painful.
He placed an arm around her shoulders in a move to comfort her. Her body stiffened under his touch, but he never let go, and she leaned into his side. “I love Jenny and the kids, but every day they show me what I missed not being here for Katie…and even you. I’m not sure we would have made it if we had gotten married. There was too much baggage between us.”
She nodded her head. He was right. As much as they loved each other, they were too young and immature to handle marriage and family, at least as a couple. But it would have been nice to have a partner to parent Katie with.
He pointed to the pictures of their daughter. “But I should have been there for her. I should have fought harder. I look back at the first time I came to see you. I could tell that you were waiting for me to man up, and when I didn’t, your disappointment was apparent. It’s why it took me so long to come back. I’m so sorry.”
No longer able to hold back, she cried for the frightened sixteen-year-old girl she once was, for the loneliness of raising her daughter on her own. Tears streamed down her cheeks for all the late nights worrying about money and wondering if she was doing a terrible job as Katie’s only parent. Even with Billy and Diane, she often felt alone.
“I loved you, Bri. More than I realized, and I should have been there for you. Please forgive me.”
He pulled her into his arms. “Bri, please don’t cry.” Her body shook as the tears increased. He tightened his hold on her as she leaned her head against his chest, letting him comfort her. He was always good at that until…
They stood in the small office and held each other. She needed comfort, and he needed her forgiveness.
Until Now Page 12