No.
Life without them was unthinkable.
She sat in front of him, expectantly waiting for him to answer, but he wasn’t sure if he could. Yes, she and Katie were the reason he never married, but not in the way she thinks.
With a tremor in her voice, she called out to him. “Billy…”
He swiped his thumb under her eyes, wiping away tears that clung to her lower lashes. “Why are you crying?” he whispered.
“I’m afraid of what you’ll say.”
He let out a pained laugh. Nothing about the situation was funny, but he had no idea how to react or what to do. Talking to her suddenly felt like a bad idea. He shouldn’t mess with what they have. “Let’s talk about something else.”
“What? No! Please talk to me. You’re my best friend. You can tell me the truth.”
He held her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. “I’m not sure you’re going to want to know.”
“Why? Oh, God. We held you back from a life you wanted.” A sob broke free, and all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms. “I’m so sorry, Billy. All I ever wanted for you was to be happy. If that means selling the diner and moving on, I’ll understand.”
“Bridget…”
Scooting closer to him, she pulled his hands off her face and held onto them. “I love you, Billy, but if you need me to leave, I will. You’re not responsible for Katie and me.”
It pained him to see her cry. What he was going to say may hurt her. Hurt them. He closed his eyes for a moment trying to organize his thoughts.
“Everything I did for you and Katie was because I wanted to. I love you both so much. You are so entwined in my life that I don’t have one without you.” The sadness didn’t leave her eyes, if anything, she looked more anguished. He placed a hand on her cheek. “Hey, I like it that way.” She didn’t look convinced. The only way she’d believe him was to spell it out for her. “Bridget.” He lifted her head with his finger until her eyes reached his. “I love you. I’m in love with you.”
She sucked in a breath and shook her head. “Do you love me because of me or because you want to be Katie’s dad?”
Exasperated by her ridiculous question, he released a groan. “How can you ask that?”
“You’ve always showed love for her. Even I’m jealous of your relationship with each other. It’s wonderful, and I’d never want to change that but…”
“Bridget, I want you to listen closely and not say another word until I’m finished talking. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get it all out otherwise.”
She placed her clammy hands in his and said, “Okay.”
“Bridget, I love you. I fell in love with you. Katie is a bonus. My love for Katie is stronger because of my love for you. The first night I met you, I could see how strong you were, how you’d do anything for that little baby inside you. You changed my life that day.
“You have no idea how much you mean to me. I love everything about you.” Tears streamed down her cheeks, spilling onto her neck and chest. Little wet spots appeared on her dress, but she never pulled her hands away.
“I love that you make breakfast in your cute sleep shorts and tank top and try to sneak extra bacon when you think Katie and I aren’t looking. I love how you clap your hands and tilt your head back when you laugh really hard. I love how you get cuddly after just one alcoholic drink.”
With the last sentence, his voice was drowned out by her sobs. She let go of his hand to wipe away her tears. He handed her a tissue but didn’t stop talking. He had too much to say.
“I loved you from the moment I saw you bring Katie into this world.” She stiffened again, but he didn’t let her interrupt him. “Loving Katie has been a privilege, but it was my way of loving you. When we met, you were so young, and I’m sure you thought I only thought of you as a child. But I saw the most courageous person I’ve ever met. You never once questioned whether you’d be there for Katie. It must’ve been hard, but watching you, gave me strength. I was directionless until you came into my life, and you showed me what I’d been searching for. Home. You are my home, Bridget.”
He took another deep breath. Once he started, he couldn’t stop. His heart was open, and it was too late to turn back.
“It took a few years, but I fell in love with you, not because of Katie, but because of you. You’re amazing, beautiful inside and out, and a wonderful mother. My day doesn’t start until I see your gorgeous smile. Every image of my future has you in it by my side. I want to kiss you, hold you, and make love to you. I want you living in this house with me. I want to turn one of the bedrooms into a nursery, and I want Katie to come here to visit. I want to support you as you achieve your dreams. I want to take care of you, and I want you to take care of me. Be my partner in life. You. You are who I love. Only you, Bridget. It’s always been you.”
Taking a ragged breath, he shook his head in disbelief. He said it. Relief and a warm sense of peace washed over him until he realized she still hadn’t said anything. She kept blinking her eyes and wiping her nose, but not a word had been uttered.
He cleared his throat. “You asked for it,” he said with a forced smile.
Chapter Forty-One
May 2014
Bridget
“Stop it,” Billy growled. “I told you it would be boring and to bring something to do until they start calling names.”
She leaned back in her seat, chuckling to herself. He had warned her, but she didn’t remember her graduation ceremony lasting this long.
She slid her hand underneath his arm and pointed a finger and said, “Four across is diamondback.”
In a huff, he shoved the puzzle book into her hands, placed his arm across the back of her seat and leaned into her. “Let’s see how you like it.” She muffled a laugh with her hand.
“I can’t take you anywhere,” he said with a smile.
As she worked the puzzle, he relaxed next to her and lazily ran his fingers up and down her arm, whispering answers in her ear. Diane and Chuck sat on the other side of her, both hiding their yawns behind their fists.
Diane leaned in. “It seems like it was only yesterday that you were up there getting your diploma.”
Bridget smiled at the memory. She and Katie wouldn’t be here now if it weren’t for the people who were with them today.
Once the students rose to get in line to receive their diplomas, Billy took the book and stuffed it into the pocket of his suit.
Her leg bounced with nervous energy. It had started that morning when thinking about Katie and how things were going to change.
Every step Katie took closer to the stage, the worse it got. She looked around at the audience and saw the faces of happy parents and loved ones. As much as she didn’t want to think about it, Katie was missing someone important in her life. She tried to push the thought out of her head. She reminded herself that he replaced them, but the niggling in the back of her mind told her that it wasn’t true.
Once Katie’s name was called, all four of them stood up and cheered, Billy being the loudest.
Bridget hopped up and down, trying to see her daughter in the sea of green graduation gowns. The moment Bridget saw Katie, they ran into each other’s arms. “I’m so proud of you.” She kissed Katie’s smiling cheek.
“Thanks, Mom.” Katie let go of her to hug Billy, Diane, and Chuck.
After taking tons of pictures with Katie and her friends, they had an early dinner to celebrate. Katie ditched them right afterward to party with her friends. Diane and Chuck weren’t too far behind, leaving her and Billy alone.
He walked her to her door and waited for her to unlock it. “Ice cream sundaes and a movie?” he asked.
She gave him a smile and a hug. “Actually, there’s something I need to do. Rain check?”
“Of course. Tomorrow. All three of us?”
“It’s a date.” She smiled and whispered, “Goodnight.”
Once alone, she went to her bedroom and rummaged through her und
erwear drawer for the envelope she had hidden. She opened it and pulled out the card. On the back, it read, “Please call,” with several numbers listed.
Her fingers shook as she entered the first number. It had taken almost two minutes before she pressed dial.
Her heartbeat quickened every moment she waited. Then finally, “Hello?”
She took a deep breath and said, “Phillip? It’s Bridget.”
Chapter Forty-Two
August 10:00 PM
Bridget
Breathless and stunned silent would be the only way to describe her.
She tried to blink the tears away, but they kept coming. She stared into his eyes as she soaked in every single wonderful word he said to her. She never imagined someone would love her the way he did. His words were a dream come true. Her heart beat wildly in her chest.
He loves me as much as I love him.
Her eyes focused on her hands. Her brain had yet to fully grasp what transpired between them. She shook her head in disbelief. He loved her? How did she not know? Then it hit her. Regret flowed from her head to her toes. They could have had been together all these years if she’d said something sooner. They would’ve been married and been a family. Katie would’ve had a dad.
She leaned forward and covered her face with her hands. “Oh. My. God.”
So many wasted years. However much time they had together now would never be enough.
She had heard him before she saw him stand and pace the floor. She expected him to be smiling, instead he looked as if he was going to be sick. He stopped in front of her for a moment and looked at her expectantly, but she didn’t know why. He didn’t say a word, just stared.
It finally hit her, she hadn’t responded to him. He obviously mistook her reaction for something else. She reached for him, but he cut her off.
“I’ll take you home.” He picked up her shoes and handed them to her.
Before he could turn away, she took hold of his hand and forced him to face her. But he wouldn’t look at her, his eyes focused on their hands.
“I must be a mess,” she said as she wiped the tears and snot from her face.
His eyes met hers. “You’re the most beautiful mess I’ve ever seen.”
She laughed, blowing snot out of her nose at the same time.
Lovely.
He was going to have to love her with a snotty nose and raccoon eyes.
She pushed him onto the couch. He went willingly, but the smile he wore only minutes ago had been replaced with a frown and a deep crevice between his eyes. He leaned his head back and covered his face with his hands. “I ruined everything, didn’t I?”
She took a deep breath and did what she dreamed of doing for years. She placed one knee on one side and straddled his lap.
That got his attention.
His hands grasped her hips. “What are you doing?”
With a smile on her face, she leaned into him and kissed him. It started out sweet and tender but soon turned passionate, almost frantic. She breathed him in as she tried to get closer. He let go of her hips to push her dress up, sliding his hands up her thighs until he reached her butt. His touch left a warm trail that ignited something deep inside her. Moving the fabric out of the way allowed her to move closer.
She waited years to taste his lips and mouth and wondered what they’d feel like against hers. Every bit of love, affection, desire she had for him was in that kiss.
The kiss gradually changed once again to a slow, languid exploration until they were breathless. A hand slid up her back until it reached her neck. He slowly lifted her and laid her on the couch, easing himself between her thighs. He raised himself on his forearms, allowing them to catch their breath.
Everything in her body told her not to stop, but she needed to say something. “Please, never regret what you said. I want all of that with you! All of it! Marriage, kids, everything. I’m so in love with you.” She smiled. “I’m going to marry you, Billy Hall.”
He leaned his forehead against hers. “I love you, I love you, I love you. Now, for the love of all that’s holy, kiss me again!”
They spent hours kissing, touching, and even talking. They shared everything their hearts had been holding in. When they came back up for air, her dress was untied and open along with his shirt.
“Bridget, I need to make love to you.”
Her lips and tongue made a trail from his mouth to his chest, where she kissed his SWEETS tattoo. “I can’t tell you how badly I want you.”
A rough laugh escaped his lips. “You? I’m not going to pressure you. If you need more—” She pressed a finger to his lips to shush him.
“Billy? I’ve had eighteen years to work up to this. That’s long enough.”
“Oh thank God.” His lips were back on hers, making the same trail she left on him, but his didn’t end where hers had.
He lifted her up until she stood on shaky legs. She was relieved to see him just as unsteady. Their hands reached for each other as they walked to his bedroom. When they reached his door, he blocked it and looked into her eyes.
“Stay.”
No words could escape her lips, not when there was so much emotion lodged in the back of her throat.
“Stay forever.”
Epilogue
November 29,2014
Billy sat at the end of the couch with Bridget cuddled next to him. His reading glasses perched on the end of his nose, Billy held the new book he purchased in one hand while his other hand caressed Bridget’s stomach. She was a long way from showing according to his book, but his hand was a magnet to the spot where his child was growing.
“Did you know that at seven weeks our little guy is a size of a chickpea?”
Bridget lifted herself up and stared at him and then at the book. She must not have noticed the book until that moment. “Oh no! Not again,” she groaned.
“What?” His innocent tone conflicted with his cheesy grin. He had a pretty good idea of who threw the last ‘Pregnancy Bible’ into the garbage eighteen years ago. He found it while taking out the diner trash. Whoever did it—Bridget—covered it in scraps of food, making it impossible to salvage.
Getting pregnant so soon was a surprise. A pleasant surprise. Bridget had wanted to wait until after they were married, so when they found out that they were expecting last week, she had a minor freak out. As happy as they were, old abandonment fears crept up for Bridget. Every moment since she held the positive pregnancy test in her hand, Billy found a way to show her he would always be there.
“I swear…” she began and trailed off, leaving the threat unspoken.
Billy pulled off his glasses and stared at his beautiful bride. “Please, Bridget. I missed the early days of your pregnancy with Katie. I just want to participate in this as much as I can.”
Bridget’s frustrated glare melted into understanding. She leaned into Billy and gave him the sweetest kiss. “I love you, my husband.”
“I love you, my wife,” he said between kisses. They had been married for two and a half wonderful days.
Billy and Bridget waited for Katie’s Thanksgiving break to get married. Delaying fourteen weeks was a slow torture. Even after Billy instigated Bridget’s move into his house—their house—the day after Katie left home, nothing settled him like the words “I do.” She was his now. And he was hers.
“I notice that you keep calling the baby ‘little guy’? What if she’s a girl?”
“He’s a boy. I can feel it.”
Bridget stared at him with one lifted brow. “We’ll see,” she said before settling back into her spot.
He winked at his gorgeous bride, who smiled back. When she relaxed again, his hand went back to its holding place.
Billy couldn’t believe this was his life. Being married to Bridget, the baby, and Katie calling him dad was more than he thought he’d ever have. But he cherished every moment of it, soaked it in and gave thanks daily.
THE END
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Acknowledgments
Love Machine. Thank you for encouraging me to do this writing thing. You’re the best husband I’ve ever had. I love you and so grateful that you’re my man.
My kidlets. Maddog, Spotted Eyes, Bunny Girl and Bub, thank you for sharing me with the characters in my head. I love you x’s Chuck Norris.
Cathe. Thank you for being my favorite sister and therapist. You know exactly what to say when I’m ready to throw myself off the cliff. Love you!
Beth. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without your love and influence. Thank you for always being there for me even when I never physically see you. I love you!
Carrie. Thanks for being my bestie and...everything. Just everything. I wouldn’t have gotten to the point of publishing if it wasn’t for you. Thank you for the late night texts ;-) Thanks for talking about my characters like they’re real people because they totally are. Thanks for the cover and synopsis and, and, and… Seriously, I feel bad for anyone who doesn’t have a Carrie. I love your guts!
Liz Aguilar. Thank you for asking the good questions, letting me bounce ideas off of you, and for your sense of humor.
Nichole Strauss. Thank you for keeping me on my toes. You’ve taught me so much.
About the Author
When I’m not writing, I’m wrangling other people’s children, riding on the back of my husband’s motorcycle or hanging out with my four kids. I love my family, reading, writing, napping and sunshine. Not always in that order.
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