J.B. had discovered Mazie’s particular fantasy when it came to holiday sex, so he capitalized on it.
She had no complaints.
It was the happiest she had ever been.
Still, hovering in the back of her mind was the knowledge that she would have to leave eventually. The longer she stayed, the harder it would be to extricate herself from a relationship that was definitely lopsided when it came to the emotional component.
J.B. gave her his passion and his compassion, but his heart wasn’t up for grabs.
It hurt. Badly. She couldn’t lie to herself. She tried not to think about it, but deep down was a tiny stupid glimmer of hope that he would come around...that he would feel what she felt.
Because he never said the words, neither did she.
On December 22, she was so glad she had not.
It was an ordinary day, nothing to indicate that her bubble of perfect joy was about to pop.
On that morning, it was raining. J.B. kissed her goodbye as she left for work. She was wearing a black raincoat with a hood, so she thought it would be enough to keep her dry. When she got outside, though, she realized that the light showers had turned into a downpour. Not only that, she had forgotten to pick up her umbrella.
She was running late, but she scooted back inside to grab it.
As she did, she heard J.B. on the phone talking to someone. He must have been in the den, because his voice carried clearly to the foyer.
“I don’t think we have anything to worry about. I’ve got her eating out of my hand. It won’t be a problem.”
All the blood drained from her heart to the floor. Numbly, she grabbed the umbrella, backed out of the house and fled.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t far to her destination. She parked and gripped the steering wheel. Her mind was blank one minute and filled with pain and terror the next. Surely it couldn’t be true. Surely J.B. hadn’t moved her into his house and slept with her so she would give him a stupid building.
She had noticed him pulling back emotionally over the last few days. Though they had been as close as a man and woman could be from a physical standpoint, it was if J.B. had put up a mental wall between them.
She had assumed, had hoped actually, that it was because his feelings for her were changing. That maybe he was fighting the connection between them.
He had failed at commitment and marriage in the past and was too afraid to try again.
But what if his retreat was more sinister? What if he was getting ready to reject her again now that he had accomplished his goals?
Try as she might, she couldn’t think of another interpretation for his words. Especially because he had sounded happy and upbeat.
With his mom on the mend and Mazie no longer a problem, he was going to have a very merry Christmas.
Mazie couldn’t bear it. Why did no one she cared about stick around for the long haul?
What was wrong with her?
Seventeen
Somehow, she made it through the day.
Gina looked at her oddly several times, but they were too busy with customers for her to grill Mazie. With only two shopping days left after this one, the store was a madhouse.
Jewelry flew out the door like fake gold doubloons being tossed in a Mardi Gras parade. Fake doubloons. Like everything else in Mazie’s life at the moment. Her engagement, her blackhearted lover. Even her smile. Because inside, she was nothing but a child crying in the driveway when everything she loved best was being taken away from her.
At last, the interminable day was over. She had to figure out a way to extricate herself from J.B.’s house. First, though, she had to go by the hospital. Jane was doing much better, but she wasn’t entirely out of the woods.
Mazie knew J.B. was working late, so she wouldn’t have to see him. Please God, let that be so.
Both Alana and Leila were with their mother. Mr. Vaughan had been home napping during the afternoon but was due back soon.
The three women in the room greeted her warmly. Mazie hung her purse on a chair and cleaned her hands with hand sanitizer.
“How’s our patient today?” she asked.
Jane wagged a finger at her two daughters. “If these two will quit worrying, we’ll be fine.” But J.B.’s mother didn’t look healthy. If anything, she seemed frail and pale.
Alana spoke up, looking chagrined. “You’re not as well as you think, Mama.”
“Oh, pooh. I’m determined to be home for Christmas. You wait and see.”
Leila grimaced. Mazie sympathized. Jane wasn’t a bad patient, but she was strong willed.
Leila hugged Mazie unexpectedly. “You’ve been so great to our mother. She told us that you’re not actually engaged to my brother. So you’ve really gone above and beyond. Thank you, Mazie.”
Alana hugged her, too. “I was disappointed. I think he needs someone like you in his life, but the guy is stubborn as a rock.”
“Don’t I know it,” Mazie said lightly.
The lump in her throat was more of a boulder. Though the Vaughans didn’t realize it, this was Mazie’s goodbye visit. She had agreed to J.B.’s charade when she thought something real might grow out of it...when she had trusted him. Now, though, she had to leave him.
Without warning, the door swung open and J.B. strode into the room. He carried with him the crisp masculine scent that was like a drug to her. She put the width of the bed between them and barely acknowledged his presence.
It wasn’t so hard. He was chatting with his sisters and sitting on his mother’s bed to speak with her.
Suddenly, every alarm in the room began to beep. Jane’s eyes fluttered shut and her breathing was raspy. In an instant, three nurses ran into the room and surrounded the bed.
The three siblings clung to each other, ashen faced.
Mazie huddled in the corner, out of the way.
J.B. was wild-eyed as if he couldn’t believe what was happening. He looked for Mazie.
“Come where she can hear you,” he begged. “Tell her she has to hold on.”
Mazie didn’t know if he was asking for himself or his mother or both. But she would do whatever he asked, because she loved him desperately.
Before Mazie could move closer, Leila, tears streaming down her cheeks, patted her brother’s arm. “Stop, J.B. Quit pretending. It doesn’t matter now. Mom knows the engagement isn’t real.”
His jaw dropped. He stared at Mazie with hot eyes. “You told her?”
Humiliation burned her cheeks. “Well, I...”
His face was stony, his gaze both judge and jury. “We’ll talk about this later.”
A doctor joined the fray. “I’ll need all of you to step into the hall, please.” As a team of medical professionals swooped in, J.B. and his sisters and Mazie were kindly but firmly evicted.
J.B. took her arm and steered her a short distance away, far enough for the two of them to speak in private.
His expression was tight with fury. His grasp was firm enough to leave bruises. “Go home,” he said. “I have to concentrate on my family now. They are all that matters to me.”
The intimation was sharply painful. He blamed Mazie.
This wasn’t the time to exonerate herself. And besides. What was the point? It didn’t matter what J.B. thought of her. Their relationship—if you could call it that—was over. And this time the pain of his rejection was far more devastating than she could have imagined.
She stumbled her way to the parking lot and got into her car. Driving to J.B.’s house, dealing with the alarm, and unlocking the door took all the courage she had, even knowing that he was not going to interrupt her.
With shaking hands and a stomach curling with nausea, she packed up her clothing and personal items. Most of it was in the master bedroom. A few things in the guest room. There wasn’t a lot, really.
Her holiday affair hadn’t lasted all that long.
Back downstairs, she went into the den and plugged in the lights on the Christmas tree. The beautiful fir mocked her. The tears came then, hot and painful. She had gambled and lost.
J.B. hadn’t cared about her when she was sixteen, and he didn’t care about her now.
She was a means to an end.
When she was calm enough to drive, she headed for home. For the last week, Jonathan had been working like a madman, preparing to be gone, so he was keeping late hours. Her father was distracted with chores for his trip and would be leaving in the morning. He was the most animated she had seen him in months.
Mazie had dinner with her father and helped him pack afterward. As she was folding a pair of socks, she blurted out a question she had wanted to ask him for years but had never had the guts.
“Daddy?”
“Hmm?”
“Why do you never go see Mama? Why did you send her so very far away?”
He turned slowly, his face paling. He sat down hard on the side of the bed. “I wondered when one of you kids would finally ask me that.” His voice rasped with emotion.
“I don’t want to upset you, but I need to know.”
He shrugged, playing with a loose thread on one of his sweaters. “When your mother had her complete psychotic break, I took her to the best and most expensive doctors in the country. Your mother was the love of my life. When she came to me, she was young and charming and so full of animation. It was only after we married that I discovered her demons.”
“And nothing helped?”
“No. Not really.” His jaw worked. “We went through months and years of diagnosis and treatment. She seemed better for a time, but then her father killed her mother and took his own life. That was too much for her to handle.”
Dear God. “But you told us our grandparents died in a car accident.”
“I didn’t want to frighten you. And as for your mother...” He stared out the window, obviously seeing some painful scene from the past. “I couldn’t bear the thought of her taking her own life. When I found the facility in Vermont, it was reputed to be one of the best in the entire world. Your mother thrived there, though she no longer knew me or even that we were married.”
“I’m so sorry, Daddy.”
He shrugged. “We had eight or nine good years together. They had warned her not to have children, but she was adamant about wanting a family. I’ve always prayed that none of you would be affected. She continually sabotaged her birth control, and each time she got pregnant, she refused to take the medicines that controlled her mania. By the time you were ten, things had gotten very bad indeed.”
“I remember.”
“The tipping point was the day I found her playing with knives in the kitchen. She had cut her fingers badly. Swore it was a mistake. But I knew we were nearing the end. Not long after that, she woke up from a dream in the middle of the night and thought I was a burglar trying to strangle her in her sleep.”
He stopped and gasped for air, clearly still traumatized after all these years. Shaking his head, he gazed at Mazie bleakly. “I brought doctors here to the house. A dozen of them. They all said the same. The end of her mental competence was coming soon, and if it happened while she was alone with you kids, she might harm you.”
“So you sent her away.”
“I did. I missed her so badly I thought my heart would break in two. But I had to protect you and your brothers.”
Mazie went to him and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you for telling me.”
“I should have done it long before now, but it was so hard to face it...to talk about it.”
He was shaking. Mazie felt the lash of guilt for putting him through the retelling, though she was glad to know the truth. “You’re a good man. And a good father. I’m so happy you’re going with your friends on this trip.”
“I’m sorry I won’t be here for Christmas.”
“No worries,” she said blithely. “Gina has asked me to spend the day with her family.”
That part was true. He didn’t have to know that Mazie had declined the invitation.
She fell into bed that night, but slept only in snatches. Alana and Leila had taken turns answering Mazie’s texts. Jane Vaughan had a pulmonary embolism. It was serious...likely a complication from her surgery. But she was being treated with the appropriate medications and would be monitored closely.
Mazie begged both of J.B.’s sisters not to let him know that she was in contact with them.
There was to be no Christmas celebration at the Vaughan homeplace. If Jane stabilized, she might be allowed to leave the hospital for a few hours to celebrate with her family at J.B.’s house, since it was so close to the hospital.
On the twenty-third, Mazie worked all day and then drove her father and brother to the airport. Their flights were only an hour apart, and fortunately in the right order. Jonathan was able to make sure his father got safely on the plane to Fort Lauderdale where he would meet up with his college buddies. Soon after, Jonathan flew out to Arizona.
Hopefully, he would find some relief for the headaches that plagued him.
That night, Mazie walked the floors in the empty house. She felt like a ghost. A phantom. A woman who wasn’t actually real.
The pain had receded for the moment, leaving her pleasantly numb.
She slept on the sofa for five hours. Showered. Went in to work.
Christmas Eve was normally her favorite day of the year. This time, she suffered through it, watching the clock, waiting for the moment she could return home and pull the covers over her head.
Her acting skills were top-notch. When Gina asked once again about Christmas Day, Mazie declined with a smile on her face. Gina assumed—and Mazie didn’t correct her—that Mazie was spending the holiday with J.B.
There would be plenty of time later for the painful truth.
All That Glitters closed at four on the twenty-fourth. Mazie handed out beautifully wrapped gifts to all her staff, gave a brief emotional speech and sent everyone on their way.
With the inventory secured and the shop locked up and the alarm set, she headed for home. She had to get through the next thirty-six hours. After that, maybe she could find a way forward. Perhaps she would move to Savannah and open another branch of her popular jewelry shop. That would put her far enough away from J.B.’s orbit not to bump into him, but still close to her family.
Maybe Jonathan could hire someone to help out with their father. Mazie couldn’t stay in Charleston any longer. She had to change her life.
The long hours of Christmas Eve were a mockery of all her dreams. As a teenager, she had imagined she would be married by now. With a house of her own, children, a husband. Having a career had been important to her, but no more so than building a future with people she loved. Starting traditions. Sharing special moments.
She sat in front of the TV and watched bits and pieces of movie classics. Funny ones. Sad ones. Hopeful ones.
When that pastime lost its allure, she walked the beach in the dark. From the water’s edge, she could look into the windows of large rental houses. Families celebrating. Eating. Laughing.
Never had she felt so alone.
* * *
Christmas morning dawned sunny and mild as it so often did in Charleston. As soon as she woke up, all the awful memories came rushing back, not the least of which was the look on J.B.’s face when he exiled her from his mother’s hospital room. It had shriveled her soul.
She knew now what she had to do to bring closure to this painful episode of her life. Perhaps she had dreamed the solution in her sleep.
First she showered and dressed for the day. Lycra running pants and a long-sleeve tee would suffice. Then she visited the safe in her father’s office.
She riffled through a stack of
documents, selected the appropriate one and tucked it in a brown envelope. Next she Googled twenty-four-hour delivery services.
Soon, she would never have to see or speak to J.B. Vaughan ever again.
Eighteen
J.B. was in hell. And operating with a split personality. Thankfully, his mother had recovered to the point that her doctor was comfortable releasing her for a few hours on Christmas Day.
The family had strict instructions to rush her back if certain symptoms occurred.
But Jane Vaughan was glowing. Surrounded by her children and her husband, she was ecstatic to be celebrating the holiday in something other than a hospital gown.
Alana and Leila had thrown together a very creditable feast. Roast turkey with all the fixings. Grandmother Vaughan’s sweet potatoes. A few other side dishes, and—procured from a local bakery—a stunning red velvet cake.
Since J.B. didn’t own any china—only masculine earthenware dishes—the womenfolk had opted to break with tradition and use disposable plates to minimize cleanup. J.B.’s drop-in-thrice-a-week housekeeper had been given the week off between Christmas and New Year’s to spend with her family.
The meal was outstanding... J.B. felt deep relief and gratitude to see his mother doing so much better. His father was equally exuberant to have his bride back on her feet. Alana and Leila were in a celebratory mood, as well.
The only nagging thorn in J.B.’s soul was Mazie’s absence. He had started to call her a dozen times, but he was still so angry that she had revealed their secret to his mother without asking him. In the midst of all the drama, he had actually been convinced that Mazie’s mistake caused his mother’s relapse.
Later, he realized the truth. He had overreacted.
He owed Mazie an apology for that. But his righteous anger was justified. The secret about their fake engagement hadn’t been hers to reveal.
She had gone behind his back. That was why he was angry—right?
Or was he so devastated, because in the midst of everything that had happened, he had finally realized the complete truth. Not only was he heels over ass deep in love with Mazie, he might be willing to believe he had a second chance at forever.
Blame It On Christmas (Southern Secrets Series Book 1) Page 16