by Marie Force
“We have info you’ll need,” Gordon says, “so how about we work together rather than engaging in a pissing match over who’s got the bigger dick?”
I want to scream at them to stop wasting time and just do something. Anything.
Markel begrudgingly agrees to coordinate with Gordon and his team, and before long, the office is overrun with cops. Then they’re all gone, and we’re left with nothing but prayers and hope that they’ll bring back Marlowe and Leah.
I can’t even think about what I’ll do if this goes bad.
I’m as stressed as I’ve been in a very long time. The last time I felt this wound up was the night Natalie’s past came to light after she was seen with me at the Golden Globes. Between waiting to hear something about Marlowe and Leah and receiving regular updates from my parents, who’re at the hospital with Ellie and Jasper, my head is about to explode.
At least Ellie is doing well, uncomfortable but making progress.
If only we knew something about how Marlowe and Leah are holding up.
I go looking for Natalie, who’s taken this situation hard. I know she loves them both, but pregnancy hormones were wreaking havoc on her before two of her closest friends went missing. She hasn’t slept or eaten since we discovered they were gone, and I’m worried about her and the baby.
I find her in my office, curled up on the sofa, and pause to make sure she’s not asleep before I approach her. When I see tears in her eyes, my heart breaks. I can’t bear to see her sad or upset, and right now, she’s both.
I sit with her and link my fingers with hers.
“Any news?”
“Nothing new. Markel said it would take some time to get all the players into place.”
“How about from the hospital?”
“Mom says Ellie is doing great and making progress.”
“At least that’s some good news. I can’t wait to find out what they’re having.”
“I know. How can they stand the suspense?” We debated finding out the sex of our baby. I was dying to know, and she wanted to wait. I drove her nuts with my speculating until she finally gave in and decided to find out that our baby is a girl. Can you imagine me with a little girl? She’ll make me her bitch the day she’s born and will run roughshod over me for the rest of my life. I can’t wait.
“No idea, but they’re about to find out.”
I wrap a strand of her long dark hair around my finger. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”
“I’m trying to be, but the waiting and the worrying is killing me. What’ll we do if something happens to them?”
“They’re going to be fine. This is Marlowe we’re talking about. She’s one of the smartest, toughest people I know, and Leah… She’ll have them wishing they never messed with her.”
Natalie starts to laugh, but her laughter quickly turns to sobs.
“Aww, baby, you know I can’t take it when you cry.”
“I’m s-sorry. I’m just so afraid for them.”
“I know. I am, too.”
I stretch out next to her and wrap my arms around her, wishing there was more I could do to comfort her. I worry about her incessantly since she became pregnant, even if I try to keep my worries hidden from her. She doesn’t need to know that I obsess over everything that could go wrong when the baby arrives. I waited my whole life to find her, and now that I have her in my life, the thought of living even one day without her is unfathomable. I’ve glommed on to delivery disaster stories online, to the point that I’ve had to force myself to stop reading them or go mad imagining the worst-case scenarios.
“What’re you thinking about?” she asks after a long period of silence.
“How much I love you.”
“You were thinking about that right when I asked?”
“I think about that all the time. I think about how lucky I am that Fluff attacked me in the park that day.”
“She didn’t attack you.”
“She bit me and drew blood. What would you call that?”
“She claimed you.”
That makes me laugh. “Right. Is that why she snarled and snapped at me for weeks after we first met?”
“She was testing you to make sure you were worthy of us.”
“That must’ve been what she was thinking when she bit me on the ass.”
Natalie rocks with silent laughter, which I much prefer to the tears.
I poke her side. “It’s not funny. She almost unmanned me.”
“It is funny, and she never came close to unmanning you.”
“She was in the neighborhood of my manhood.”
“Stop,” she says, laughing helplessly. “You’re such a baby.”
“Is she behaving for Leslie?” We have the nicest pet sitter who comes to stay with Fluff any time we have to be away. Fortunately, she was available to get over to the house when Marlowe and Leah went missing.
“My Fluff-o-Nutter is a perfect angel, as always.”
I snort with laughter that I attempt to cover with a cough, but my wife is wise to me.
Natalie looks up with fathomless green eyes that see me the way no one else ever has. “They’re going to be all right, aren’t they?”
“Absolutely. I have full faith that Marlowe is probably making them sorry they ever screwed with her.”
“If she isn’t, Leah certainly is.”
That makes us both laugh.
“For sure. They’re tough and smart, and they’re going to be fine. I know it.” God, please let them be fine. “Did you hear any more from the girls?” We’re looking forward to having her sisters with us this coming summer. Olivia is going to do some modeling work, while Candace interns in Ellie’s department at Quantum. Nat doesn’t know it yet, but the girls are also coming out for spring break to help us celebrate Natalie’s twenty-fifth birthday. I can’t wait to surprise her with everything I’ve got planned—and to keep surprising her for the rest of our lives.
“They’re counting the days until they can come to LA.”
“I can’t wait to have them with us.” I’ve cleared my acting schedule into the fall so I can spend the next few months with Nat, the baby and her sisters. In September, we begin production on Captivated, which will tell the story of how Natalie put her life back together after being attacked and raped as a teenager, and it’ll tell our story—hers and mine.
The baby picks that moment to deliver a swift kick that I feel against my belly. “Whoa. She’s wound up in there!”
“She’s kicking all the time lately. Dr. Breslow says that’s a good thing. We want her to be busy and active, even if she’s roughing me up.”
“What’re we going to name this little angel of ours?”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about that, and I think I finally have a name that I really love.”
“Lay it on me.”
“Cecilia Estelle.”
That she included my mom in the baby’s name brings tears to my eyes.
“I was thinking we could call her Cece for short.”
“Cecelia Estelle Godfrey. Cece. I like that. My mom will be thrilled.”
“I hope so.”
“I know so. She adores her daughter-in-law, almost as much as I do.”
“I feel guilty being so excited about the baby when Marlowe and Leah are going through such an awful ordeal.”
“They wouldn’t want you to be anything other than excited about the baby, no matter what.” I smooth a hand down the silky length of her hair. “Close your eyes for a few minutes and try to rest. I’m right here, and everything is going to be fine. I promise.”
She takes a deep breath and relaxes into my embrace.
As I hold her close to me, I can only hope that’s a promise I’ll be able to keep.
Chapter 20
I can’t find Addie. I realize I haven’t seen her since the cops left. “Where’s Addie?” I ask the others after I’ve checked my office and hers without success.
“I saw her heading for the restroom a while
ago,” Aileen replies.
I head for the ladies’ room we share with the company that leases space from us. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t be caught dead in there, but nothing about these circumstances is normal. I bust into the room and don’t see her.
I’m about to leave when I hear sniffling coming from the handicapped stall. I turn the lock on the main door and go find my love.
She’s sitting on the closed toilet with her head in her hands, her body shaking with sobs.
“Baby.”
Surprised by my sudden appearance, she looks up at me, her face red and ravaged. I move toward her and lift her right off the john and into my arms before taking a seat.
She resists me, which never happens. “Don’t.”
“Why not?”
“I just… I can’t.”
“What can’t you do?”
“I can’t talk about it.”
“Okay, then we won’t talk. I’ll just hold you for as long as you need me to.”
To my complete horror, that makes her cry harder.
She shakes her head and continues to fight me.
I just hold on tighter. “Addison, stop. Just stop. I’m right here, and I’m never letting you go.”
“Hayden.”
The helpless way she says my name does me in. “What, baby?”
“I can’t lose Marlowe. I won’t survive it.”
“You’re not going to lose her.”
“You don’t know that!”
“I believe it. Marlowe and Leah are scrappy. If anyone can get through this, they can.”
“I’m so scared. Aren’t you?”
“Yeah, of course I am, but I believe in them. And that guy Turk would be crazy to harm one of America’s biggest stars.”
“He was crazy to kidnap her in the first place. Does he honestly think he’s going to get away with that?”
I’m encouraged to hear her talking like her usual fearless self. “He won’t get away with it. We won’t let him.”
My assurances seem to console her. After a while, the tears dry up—thank fuck for that—and she settles somewhat.
“Hayden?”
“Hmm?”
“I want to have a baby.”
Her words are like an arrow that hits me square in the heart, stealing the breath from my lungs. “Like, right now?”
She laughs. “Maybe not right this minute, but soon. Would that be okay?”
“Whatever you want.”
“That’s a pretty broad statement.”
“If you’re wondering how much I love you…”
“I never wonder about that. I knew you loved me before you did, remember?”
“Are you ever going to let me forget that?”
“Never.”
“That’s fine.” I breathe in the fragrance that always clings to her hair and skin, the scent of the woman I love. “That means you have to stay with me forever so you can never let me forget what a jackass I was before you showed me the error of my ways.”
“You were a jackass. That’s for sure. And of course I’m staying with you forever. Where else would I go?”
“Nowhere.” I hug her tighter, so tightly I’m probably hurting her, but she doesn’t complain. She’s proven she can take whatever I’m dishing out. “You can’t go anywhere, because I can’t live without you.”
“Before all this happened with Marlowe and Leah, I was going to tell you that I think I’ve found our house on the coast with the big yard for parties. It has a pool, too.”
“What town?”
“It’s in Calabasas, a mile from Kris and Aileen’s place.”
“When can we see it?”
“We have an appointment tomorrow, but…”
What she doesn't say is that it depends on whether we’re successful in bringing Marlowe and Leah home. If we aren’t… I can’t think about that. I simply can’t.
“Let me see the house.” I need to keep her thinking about something positive while we wait to hear from the cops.
She pulls her phone from her pocket and calls up the listing before handing the phone to me.
I take one look and know this is the dream house she described to me when we were first together, when she was telling me about the life she envisioned for us, the life I wanted so badly but was afraid to claim for myself. My beautiful, sweet, determined Addison wasn’t having that. She claimed it for both of us, and thank goodness for that. I’ve never known the kind of happiness I’ve found with her. I didn’t even know it existed until she showed me the way.
“Do you like it?”
“I love it.” It’s huge—way bigger than we need—but if it’s what she wants, whatever. “I can see some epic parties in that yard.”
“See that window right there?”
“Uh-huh.”
“That’s where we’ll put the fifteen-foot Christmas tree.”
“And who’s going to haul a fifteen-foot Christmas tree into the house?”
“Duh. You are.”
“How did I know you were going to say that?”
“Don’t worry.” She pats my face like I’m a naughty child. “Flynn and the guys will help if it’s too much for you.”
I give her a filthy look. “I don’t need their help.”
She laughs, and my heart gives a happy jolt.
“You knew I’d say that, didn’t you, you little minx.”
“You’re a bit predictable when your manhood is questioned.”
“When do I ever give you reason to question my manhood?”
“Never.” She pats my face again. “Never ever.”
“You feel a little better?”
“Yeah. Thanks for coming to find me.”
“I’ll always come find you, so how about you make it easier on both of us and don’t run away from me? Come find me when you’re feeling down.”
“I will.”
“They’re going to be okay.”
“I really hope so.”
Waiting is hell. I’ve learned that lesson in excruciating detail every three months since I’ve been with Aileen and have had to wait for results from her cancer checkups. We were already mired in that hell before Marlowe and Leah went missing, and their disappearance sent my anxiety soaring. I go looking for Aileen, who’s on the phone in Addie’s office.
She’s facing away from me, so she doesn’t see me there.
“Are you sure?”
I die a thousand deaths in the pause that follows her question.
“Okay, I’ll make another appointment and see you then.”
Oh my God. Is the cancer back? I can’t hear that. I just can’t. She and her children—our children—have changed my life so completely. There’s no way I can bear to think about losing her after the joy she’s brought to my life. I didn’t even know what joy was until she showed me, and now…
I can’t.
I back out of Addie’s office and go into mine, closing the door. I wish I could leave and go to my place in town. It’s on the market, but hasn’t sold yet. I want to hide out, the way I used to before I had Aileen. I eye the closet in my office where I keep a change of clothes and my gym bag. It’s small, but it’ll do the trick. I step inside the dark, cramped space and close the door before sinking to the floor and wrapping my arms around my knees.
I feel like a coward for hiding out this way, but it’s been my coping mechanism since childhood, when I would hide from the men my mother brought home to have sex with so she could pay for her drug habit. I watched her be murdered by one of them from inside a closet. Despite that, I still find comfort in the dark, where nothing bad can happen. The darkness is my friend.
I’m there a long time, so long I’m nearly asleep when the door opens.
The blast of light is blinding after being in the dark.
“Kristian.”
The sound of her voice is like a balm on the wounds I carry with me. I long ago accepted they’ll never completely heal, but with her by my side, the pain is a
dull ache rather than the sharp agony it once was.
“What’re you doing in there?”
“I needed a break.”
She squeezes into the tight space and sits next to me. There’s just enough room for both of us. I’m instantly bolstered by the heat of her body against mine. That’s all it takes to make everything better. I’m continuously amazed that she can do that for me just by existing. She takes my hand and cradles it between both of hers, making me feel loved and protected the way only she can do. She loves me so much, so perfectly. How would I ever live without her after having had this?
“I know you’re so worried about Marlowe and Leah. We all are.”
“It’s a helpless feeling to know that people you love are in trouble and there’s nothing you can do to fix it.”
“That has to be so hard for you as the family ‘fixer,’ the one who makes things better for all of us.”
“It’s the worst.”
“I hate that you’re suffering.”
“I heard you on the phone in Addie’s office. Is it back?”
She gives me a puzzled look. “Is what back?”
How can she not know what I mean? “The cancer, Aileen. Is it back?”
“No,” she says on a long exhale. “Everything is normal.”
I was so certain that I almost can’t process that I was wrong. Gratitude and relief flood my system. My throat closes around a tight lump of emotion as tears fill my eyes. Thank God.
“I’m so sorry you thought that. What did you hear me say that made you think it was back?”
“You said, ‘Are you sure,’ and then you said you’d make another appointment.”
“Oh God, Kris. I’m so sorry you thought that. The bloodwork didn’t show cancer, but it did show that I’m pregnant.”
For a second, I’m too stunned to react. “You… you’re…”
Her face lights up with the incandescent joy that was the first thing I ever noticed about her at Flynn and Nat’s wedding. Even in the throes of cancer treatment, she was the most joyful person I’d ever met. “I’m pregnant. We’re going to have a baby.”
I was so prepared for disaster that it takes a minute for her words to fully register, and when they finally do, my heart swells to a size that has to be unhealthy. We weren’t sure she’d be able to have more children after her treatment, so we haven’t been careful about preventing pregnancy.