NEITHER BLACK NOR WHITE
IRON DOGZ MC BOOK 6
RENÉ VAN DALEN
NEITHER BLACK NOR WHITE
Iron Dogz MC Book 6
Copyright © 2021 René Van Dalen
ISBN 978-0-620-91348-5
Cover Design Danielle Burrows Art
facebook.com/danielleburrowsart/
Cover Copyright 2021 Danielle Burrows Art
Cover Photographs Unsplash
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U S Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading and electronic sharing of any part of this book without permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author's intellectual property. Thank you for your support of the author's rights.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are a product of the author's imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or persons living or dead is coincidental.
Warning: This book contains graphic language, violence, abuse and sexual content. Intended for mature audiences, 18 years and older.
DEDICATION
As always, for my three.
13 1 13
You do not complete me.
You do not make me whole.
Our two does not become the one.
We were not born to be together.
You are not my life.
You are not my Sun.
You are not my Moon at night.
You are not my reason,
My life-blood,
Nor my right.
You are not. You do not.
But you may well be
The chink that burst the dam.
You do not
By
Philip Ardagh
AUTHOR’S NOTE
As with my previous books I want to warn you, my reader, that this book has triggers for sensitive readers. It contains graphic language, sex, violence and abuse.
Please, be aware of the above triggers before you continue.
I’ve translated most words as the books unfold, but some might have slipped through. Please check the glossary at the back of the book if you find one of those slippery little words.
This book is the start of a time of upheaval and change for the Iron Dogz.
Come and enjoy a walk on the dark side with me.
CONTENTS
DEDICATION
AUTHOR’S NOTE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
CHAPTER THIRTY
CHAPTER THIRTY ONE
CHAPTER THIRTY TWO
CHAPTER THIRTY THREE
CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR
CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE
CHAPTER THIRTY SIX
CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN
CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT
COMING UP NEXT
OTHER BOOKS BY RENÉ VAN DALEN
IRON DOGZ MC
PLAYLIST
GLOSSARY
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
CONNECT WITH RENÉ VAN DALEN
CHAPTER ONE
Kid
Kid slung his leg over the seat of his bike, sat down and pulled his gloves on, but he did it slow. Wasting time fiddling with his gloves. He knew he had to get going, but what he was about to do sat like a heavy weight in his gut. Sitting on his bike in front of the clubhouse he went through it one more time, step by step by fucking step.
Confront his mother.
Get answers to his questions.
Confronting your mother about the crap she had pulled your entire life would be a total mind fuck for most people. For him it was the same. He was thirty eight years old and his mother had been treating him like shit for most of those years. It only changed when she realised she was alone after Flash was voted out bad, and was made to disappear shortly after. Only then did she start treating him like her son. She suddenly became the caring mother he never had while growing up.
She never questioned Flash’s disappearance, just settled back into the club as if she had never left. Going as far as resuming her friendship with Suzy and Beryl. Everyone welcomed her back with open arms, believing that Flash had been the reason for her behaviour and withdrawal from the club.
Kid had enjoyed the change but had gradually come to the realisation that they were being played. He was being played.
It had started with what seemed to be innocuous questions about DC and Hawk and their relationship. Things like, when were they going to get married? And did Kid think they would ever have children?
One day while once again rambling on and on about the new old ladies in the club she pulled a sad face and said that Jane would have made Hawk the best old lady. If only Hawk had given her the chance to prove it to him and the club, but he never did.
Kid had to bite the inside of his cheek not to explode in rage. That was the day he knew for certain she had come back to the club for Jane. All her life everything she had done had been for her precious Jane. Now wasn’t any different.
For days now she had been nagging him about the whereabouts of her little princess because she hadn’t called to check in as usual. And just yesterday she had had the balls to demand that he ask the club to look for the bitch because she was worried.
Kid snorted. No need to go looking, the bitch was on an extended vacation. In the Crow’s Playpen.
Right now he needed answers to the questions he had rolling around his head. And he was determined to get those answers.
As he reached for his helmet two men sat down on their bikes a couple down from his. Boots and Spook (Ghost).
“Where do you bastards think you’re going?” He gave them a nasty look which had no effect on either of them.
“No one rides alone, brother. We’re just following orders.” Spook gave him a grin and a shrug.
Closing his eyes and shaking his head with a resigned sigh he settled his helmet on his head and tightened the strap. Pulling his fancy new Iron Dogz MC buff up over his nose he slipped on his dark glasses. He didn’t have to look at his brothers to know they were ready to ride as he started his bike.
He was actually glad he had company on the ride home.
Home. Not really, actually not at all.
His flat was a place to crash when he had to get away from the constant noise at the clubhouse. It wasn’t fancy or anything. Two bedrooms, a bathroom and an open plan lounge, dining room and kitchen. It was very basic. At least it had a garage for his bike. He didn’t give a shit that his bakkie (ldv/truck) was exposed to the harsh elements.
The bakkie was an old rust bucket he had bought with money he had saved as a teen and while he was a prospect. It had been one of the first things he had bought himself. His fucked up parents had refused to buy him a bike or a car when he got his licence, but they were quick to buy Jane a brand new
car when she turned eighteen.
His first bike had been a scrapyard find that Bounty and Bulldog had bought and had been his sixteenth birthday present from them. With their help and the help of Hawk and Ice he had rebuilt it. Their generosity was the reason why he had a bike when he started prospecting. That bike was now parked under a tarpaulin at the club. He would never get rid of it. It had sentimental value and if he ever had a son it would be his. Or fuck, maybe even a daughter, who knows. Not that he had a reason to believe he would ever have children. He didn’t even want an old lady.
For a while now he had been thinking about getting a new bakkie but he was on his bike almost all the time so it had seemed like a waste of money. And a new vehicle needed to be undercover to protect it from the harsh sun. He wasn’t moving just to get an extra garage, that was fucking madness.
Lost in his head he only realised he was almost home when he turned into the street his block was on. He had completed the journey virtually on auto pilot. He scanned his tag at the gate and rode through once it opened, nodding at the security guards on duty as they passed them, and rode to the parking area in front of his block.
He stayed sitting on his bike when his brothers parked next to him. Dragging the buff down he pulled his dark glasses off and hooked the arm into the neck of his tee before he looked at them.
“I need you to wait out here. Got shit to sort with my mother and I don’t fucking need an audience.” He ordered sharply.
“Okay, Boss. I’ll wait out here for you.” Spook said easily as he settled himself sideways on his bike, crossed his legs at the ankle and pulled out his phone.
But not Boots.
“I’m walking up with you, Boss. We don’t know if there’s anyone in there with her.” Boots held up a hand when Kid tried to protest. “I have my orders, Kid. Please man, I have to stay with you. Hawk was pretty insistent about it.”
“Fuck. I don’t need more shit right now.” Kid sighed in annoyance. “You’ll wait for me outside the front door. I’m not going to be long. In and out if I have anything to say about it.”
“Okay, brother. I’ve got your back.” Boots said as he followed.
Kid ran up the stairs to his unit and had his keys out and shoved into the lock, then checked over his shoulder. Boots had made himself comfortable against the wall shielding the front door from the elements. His position gave him an unobstructed view of the parking area, the stairs and the flat.
“Leave the door open, brother.” Boots said softly as Kid opened the door.
Kid gave him a dark look and a disgusted snort but left the door open.
“Okay, mommy.” He threw back over his shoulder and grinned at Boots’ grunt of distaste.
Esther, or Essie as everyone called her, was sitting in the one wingback chair he had in his small lounge with the inevitable cup of tea. She always drank tea. Her eyes came to him and he shoved his keys into his pocket before taking a seat on the couch. He had a clear view of the passage to the bedrooms and bathroom and the open front door.
“You’re home early.” She said with a soft smile. “Did you find Jane? Is that why you’re home so early? Oh, I hope you have good news for me.” She gushed as she put her tea cup and saucer down on the side table next to the chair. Then she slowly put her hands together under her chin as if she was praying.
It had him gritting his teeth before he relaxed.
“No. That’s not why I’m home early.” Kid settled into the couch and stared into his mothers’ watery blue eyes. “I actually have a couple of questions I need you to answer for me.”
She looked confused but quickly nodded in agreement, obviously thinking it was about Jane.
Drawing in a breath he started.
“When we were growing up it was quite obvious you and Flash didn’t love me. He abused me and you allowed him to do it. I remember going to you crying for help and you turned me away, telling me it was my fault that he abused me. I was a little boy at the time.”
All colour fled from her face and he watched as her body curled in as if to try and hide. Her hands were no longer under her chin.
“I need to know why you did that. Why didn’t you protect me from him?”
Shaking her head he watched emotionlessly as tears dripped out of her eyes and on to her tightly clasped hands in her lap.
“I can’t. I can’t tell you. It still hurts...and you...you won’t...understand.” She cried pitifully.
Kid snorted derisively. “I’ve been through hell and back with the two of you. Tell me right now or you’ll never hear from Jane again.”
Not that she was going to hear from the bitch anyway.
Her head jerked up and she stared at him in stunned shock.
“Why would you do this to me? I apologised for being a bad mother. You said...you said you forgave me. Why are you doing this?”
“Why am I doing this? Because I want answers. You knew what Jane was doing to everyone in the club and you went along with it. You’re as guilty of treason as she is. If you don’t talk to me I can make arrangements to have you taken back to the club where you will be forced to talk to Hawk. You do not want me to do that.”
She didn’t need to know she would be going back there anyway. He watched with narrowed eyes as she sobbed into her hands. Was it a ploy to get him to feel sorry for her? A part of him, a very small part, was sorry but not sorry enough to stop questioning her.
“Answer my questions, Esther.” He couldn’t call her mum like he used to, not anymore. She didn’t deserve the honour. “Why did Flash hate me so much and why did you allow him to abuse me?”
Sitting up she brushed a hand over her eyes and sniffed. “I married Flash because I fell for him and was pregnant with you. He promised he would take care of us and he did. He was a good father to you until you started to look like...like...” She broke off and started sobbing again.
It felt as if mal miere (mad ants) were running around in his gut as he stared at the sobbing woman.
“Who did I start to look like?”
Her answer started out as a whisper but her voice became louder as she continued.
“Like your father. You started looking like your father. We dated and after he broke up with me I...I started going with Flash. Flash knew we had dated. The day before we got married he told me that Camden had been killed in a shoot-out with another club. When I married Flash I truly believed the baby was his, I swear I did.”
Shock had Kid frozen in his seat until a hand clasped his shoulder. Boots had come inside at some stage of the talk and now stood behind him. His hand on Kid’s shoulder silently gave him his support.
“You’re saying Flash Warne isn’t my biological father. Is that correct?”
“Yes.” She whispered as she hid her face in her hands.
Kid blew out the breath he had been holding and shook his head. He had a fuckload of questions but right now he needed an answer to the most important one. His biological father’s name.
“So, my biological father was involved in club business and that got him killed. Who was he? I need his full name and his road name. Which club did he ride with?”
Again the old bitch in the chair cringed and started shaking her head.
“You better answer my questions, Esther. Remember, you need me to find Jane.” Kid didn’t care if he was pushing her too hard. He had to know who his father was. He had to know.
“He...he...he wasn’t with the Dogz. He...he rode with another club and...and there were rumours that he was Flash’s half-brother. I’m not sure if the story I was told is true or not. The women at his club told me Camden’s mother, Kelly, was raped at a bike rally when she was sixteen. Kelly was the baby sister of the club’s VP, and his club put a hit out on Flash’s dad for the rape. He went into hiding, leaving Flash and his mother behind.”
“We need to know which club that was, Esther.” Boots rasped, his voice deep and furious.
Esther shook with fear and her eyes flickered between the two
of them.
“He...he...rode with the...the Sinners Sons.”
“Fuck.” Kid and Boots said at almost the same time.
It sounded too much like a fantastical fairy tale and Kid wasn’t sure if he believed her. They needed Ziggy to look into her allegations as soon as possible. If he had real family out there he wanted to know about them.
“I’m still waiting for you to give me his name, Esther. You said his name was Camden. Was that his surname? You owe me this much. Tell me who he was.”
“His...his surname is or was Knight and even though he was still only a prospect he already had a road name. It was War, Camden ‘War’ Knight.”
Kid stared at her in stunned silence, unable to say a word.
“Holy shit, brother, the Sinners National Prez is Fox Knight and Jinx is his son, they have to be your family.” Boots sounded as stunned as Kid felt.
But he needed more. So much more. So he pushed for more.
“I need to clarify it for myself, are you saying Flash killed his half-brother then married you? Is that correct?” Kid forced his voice to sound natural when all he wanted to do was put his hands around her fucking scrawny neck and squeeze the life out of her.
Her eyes widened and she shook her head violently from side to side. “No! He wouldn’t have done that. Flash knew Cam and I had dated and that he broke up with me because I had been seeing Flash as well. Flash loved me. He said so! He went looking for Cam to tell him he had claimed me as his old lady and that we were getting married. He couldn’t find him, the clubs weren’t friendly those days and all he was able to find out was that War had been shot in a shoot-out and no one was talking.”
Jesus, fuck, how could one old woman be so fucking stupid? Kid shook his head but then forced himself to concentrate on the information he needed from her.
“So, War disappeared and you married Flash. I was born and then you had Jane. Did you ever try to find War or did you believe Flash’s bullshit story?”
Esther shook her head and watched him with those disbelieving watery blue eyes. “No, I didn’t try to find him, why would I? I thought he was dead! Back then fatal shoot-outs happened all the time.”
Stupid. So damned stupid.
Neither Black Nor White (Iron Dogz MC, #6) Page 1