by Amy Ruttan
It was shocking what war could do to change a person. The jovial, confident and arrogant man she had known was gone.
Aran was thinner, and instead of the short, buzzed and clean military hair he’d had on their wedding day his dark brown hair was longer, and there were a few grays mixed in there. A scar ran down the side of his face—faint, but still somewhat fresh. The cleft in his chin was hidden by a short-cropped beard and his bearing was not so ramrod-straight as it had once been. He seemed to bear his weight on his left and favored the right leg.
It threw off warning bells. If he couldn’t physically handle working on her team he’d be useless to her. Still, Aran was handsome as ever—like on the first day she’d met him. In spite of herself, her heart skipped a beat...
“Dr. Cloutier, you will work with Dr. Atkinson on post-operatives.”
Ruby groaned and looked through the throng of residents. Figured that she would get the new guy. The son of the president of the board of directors. She’d heard he was cocky and privileged.
And then she saw him.
He was the most handsome man she’d ever seen. And when those blue eyes settled on her, her pulse kicked up a notch. She had to control herself. She wasn’t going to fall for his charms.
“Hi, Dr. Cloutier. I’m Dr. Atkinson.” He held out his hand.
She crossed her arms and looked him up and down, but she said nothing. Just grabbed the charts she’d been assigned and walked past him. She didn’t have time for any of the kind of games he had to play.
“Okay, then. You’re a bit of a hard nut to crack,” he said, keeping up with her pace.
She rolled her eyes and handed him a pile of charts. “Here are your cases.”
“Thanks,” he muttered, and then stood in front of her. “Look, I think the key to a good medical partnership is to at least be friends. We can be civil to each other, can’t we?”
Ruby felt guilty for being so cold to him. She was so used to pushing people away. “I suppose... I’m sorry.”
He smiled brightly at her. “There—that’s better.”
She narrowed her eyes and shook her head. “Just do your job and do it well, then we won’t have a problem.”
“Aran, glad you could finally make it.”
Jessica got up and went to embrace her son. He hugged her back, but Ruby could tell that it was grudgingly. In fact, it looked as if her touch caused him pain.
Jessica moved away. “Have a seat, Aran. I was just talking to Ruby about you joining her trauma team.”
Ruby watched as he limped to the chair beside her and took a seat. He winced slightly as he sat, but didn’t look at her. He was obviously annoyed she hadn’t gone down to San Diego, despite what he’d told her. Still, it was the discomfort he was in that worried her. Military man or not, if he was this stiff, in this much pain, he couldn’t be on her trauma team. He wouldn’t be able to keep up.
“I’m sorry, Jessica,” Ruby said.
“For what?” Jessica asked, surprised.
“Aran, you’re an excellent surgeon, and your military training would be an asset, but clearly you’re not healed enough to be on my team.”
She glanced over at Aran and saw he was finally looking at her. His expression was that of a broken man who had seen too much violence. She felt bad, she truly did, but he had to be able to handle tough situations. Extreme weather...rough conditions... And she wasn’t certain that he could. She hated hurting him like this, but he just wouldn’t be able to handle it.
“I can move fine, Ruby. I was just on a very long flight from San Diego to Juneau, then a flight to Anchorage and a cab ride here. Once I start moving I’ll be able to perform my duties adequately,” Aran said stiffly.
“Ruby, the board of directors wants Aran on your team. It would be in your best interests—”
“I’m sorry, Jessica.” Ruby stood up. “He needs to be in better physical condition. I’m sorry.”
Ruby couldn’t look at Aran as she left the office. And she didn’t get very far before she felt a hand slip around her arm and turn her around. It was Aran and she was surprised.
“Is this fast enough for you?” he asked.
She could see the anger in his eyes. She shook out of his grasp. “So I misjudged your physical endurance...”
“Yes, I’m stiff. Yes, I’m still recovering from my injury. But I can keep up with the work on the trauma team. I can help your team if you just give me a chance.” He scrubbed his hand over his face and his expression softened. “Besides, you owe me this. You owe me a favor, remember?”
* * *
Aran held his breath as he looked down into the dark black eyes of his wife and now potentially his boss. When he’d been injured and honorably discharged, he’d been surprised when his mother had showed up in San Diego. She’d never left Alaska—not even when her marriage to his father had been at stake. His mother loved the north.
He’d been glad she’d come, but he’d been disappointed that Ruby hadn’t shown. Even though he’d told her she didn’t need to come, he’d thought they were friends as well as fake spouses.
He’d always cared for Ruby. Always had a soft spot for her, always desired her. But she’d never been interested. So he’d befriended her. The only woman he’d ever befriended who hadn’t turned into a short-lived romance.
Ruby was different from other women he knew. She always had a wall up. So when she hadn’t shown up he’d hidden his disappointment. Ruby reminded him of his mother. Always bound to the north and her work. That kind of woman was a kind that he didn’t want to get attached to. Yet, he had married Ruby anyway.
He was crazy.
So he hadn’t expected his mother to come down to San Diego. And he definitely hadn’t expected his mother to offer him a job.
When his mother had offered him a chance to work on an elite trauma team—like working on the front line, but without enemy fire—he’d felt a faint glimmer of hope again. It had crushed him completely when he’d been injured and unable to go back to the front line, and working in a military hospital was something he didn’t want to do. He liked to be out in the field, saving lives.
Of course when he’d heard that the leader of this team of trauma surgeons, paramedics and nurses was none other than his fake wife, he’d almost thought about backing down. He knew Ruby wouldn’t like it.
He didn’t know much about her, because she never let anyone in, but he admired her tenacity—which was why he’d proposed to her. He’d wanted her to make her dream become a reality and he’d valued their work friendship.
It hadn’t hurt, either, that Aran had always thought she was one of the most beautiful women he had ever laid eyes on, and for one brief moment in that time just after they were married—just before he shipped out—he’d wished that he could get to know her better. Wished he had more time to bring down those walls of hers.
He had been hoping that their years apart would have changed the attraction he felt for her. Only they hadn’t. She was just as beautiful and feisty as ever. With those dark eyes that seemed to pierce right through his soul, her pink full lips, and the black hair that was really a rich dark brown and shot through with hues of auburn.
But she was unobtainable to him, and he knew that a relationship with a woman so connected to her work and to the north would never work out for him.
Now he was really wishing he had said no to the offer of working up here in Anchorage. He should head back to San Diego.
You made your bed. Now lie in it.
Ruby shook out of his grasp. “Fine. I will give you a chance. But if you can’t keep up then I’m sorry but I can’t use you on my team.”
Aran nodded. “Fair enough.”
“Are you going to keep up with physiotherapy?” she asked.
“Yes. I’m about to head there now, and then on to Human Resources.”
“I’ll walk with you and explain a bit about what I’m doing.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
Ruby walked slowly. He appreciated that she was trying to be nice, but it was actually harder on his leg than walking quickly.
“We can speed it up, you know.”
“What?” she asked.
“It’s actually better for stretching out the muscles if we move a bit faster.”
“Sorry.” A blush tinged her warm tawny-colored cheeks.
“It’s okay. I’ve been adamant about getting back into fighting form. I didn’t want to lounge away in a hospital bed for long.”
She nodded. “Do you mind if I ask exactly how it happened? I was told it was an IED, but nothing else. They didn’t give me any more details.”
Yes, I do mind.
Only he didn’t say that out loud. He hated talking about it—but he didn’t have to talk about everything that had happened the night he was injured. He just had to talk about his leg wound. She didn’t need to know the rest and he wouldn’t tell her. That was his business and he wasn’t going to let it interfere with his work here. He was going to make damn sure of that.
“No, I don’t mind. I was transporting some wounded soldiers to a field hospital and there was an IED explosion.”
Cold sweat broke across his brow and he hoped she wouldn’t notice. He had thought he was over the initial trauma of talking about it, after he’d recounted what had happened countless times to his superiors and his counsellors during his recovery, but telling Ruby changed the game, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it.
He hoped that she wouldn’t pry further. He really didn’t want to talk about it, and just thinking about the incident was making him a bit dizzy.
“I’m sorry,” Ruby said, and didn’t ask anything further. “Well, keep up with the physiotherapy.”
Aran nodded curtly. “I will.”
“I don’t know what your mother has told you about the team I’ve put together...” She trailed off.
“I remember your ideas for it from back when you were first talking about it.”
The blush crept into her cheeks again. “You do?” she asked in amazement.
“I thought it was a good idea—which is why I offered to marry you so you could stay here. I still think it’s a good idea. You’ve done a great job.”
“Thanks,” she said.
He nodded curtly and looked away. He couldn’t let himself get sucked into her life. She was off-limits. Every relationship was off-limits. He didn’t have it in him to pursue one. Not until he got his life back on track.
“Look, I know that it’s physically taxing. You’ve said as much. But I won’t hold you back. I have a lot of expertise working in some of the roughest conditions and working with minimal resources to save lives. I would like to continue that work. It’s my passion.”
A smile tugged on the corner of her lips and made his pulse race. He liked it when she smiled. Since he’d met her all those years ago he hadn’t seen her smile genuinely once. Her smiles on their wedding day had been forced and for show.
This smile—it was genuine. It was as if she understood him.
“It’s mine as well.” She cleared her throat and looked away, the smile disappearing. She stopped, pointing at a door that led to another hall. “Physiotherapy is down the hall. Third door on the left.”
Aran nodded. “Thank you.”
“Sure.” She turned to leave.
“Ruby, maybe...” He couldn’t believe what he was about to say. “Can I take you to dinner tonight?”
CHAPTER TWO
“WHAT?” RUBY COULDN’T believe what she was hearing.
“I asked if I could take you, my wife, out to dinner?” His blue eyes were twinkling and he was smiling at her.
“Dinner?” she asked, a bit dumbfounded.
“You know—where people share a meal? We have had dinner together before, if you recall.”
“I hardly call a sandwich in the cafeteria after doing a round when we were residents a meal.”
“Well, then, it’s time to rectify that, don’t you think?”
“Do you think that’s wise?” she asked, stunned.
“You are my wife,” he teased.
She took a step closer and lowered her voice. “In name only. We’re friends, but...really that’s all.”
“Yeah, but you haven’t gained your citizenship yet, have you? Also, since you haven’t mentioned divorce...”
Ruby bit her lip. He was right. She had been granted a temporary stay in the country while Aran served, but soon they would have to be interviewed about their marriage before she could obtain citizenship. And then they would have to wait some more time before she could divorce him without it looking suspicious.
Once she got her citizenship she could go back to Canada and visit her relatives.
Do you really want to?
She tried not to think about going back. When she went back to her community it was great to see her mother and her brothers, but it always reminded her of her father’s death. How they hadn’t been able to get him the help he needed in time. He had died of such a simple thing. If he had been in a city, or had had quick access to a hospital, he would have lived.
She missed her home. She missed the summers spent on the McKenzie, or boating and swimming on Great Slave Lake. She missed flying her brother up to Great Bear Lake to fish and watching muskox across the tundra.
But Ruby didn’t want to go back until she was able to fulfill her dream. Completely. Everyone in the north—Alaska, Yukon, Northwest Territories and Nunavut—needed resources. More lives could be saved. And in order to do that she needed dual citizenship.
Aran had done her a huge favor. The least she could do was have dinner with him, she decided.
Big mistake.
All those old feelings she’d had for him—the ones that she’d thought locked away—came rushing back. He was still as charming as ever. Which was why he had been somewhat of a playboy when they were residents. She hadn’t been immune to him. She’d just kept him at a distance to protect herself.
Having dinner with him now wasn’t exactly keeping her distance from him, but... “Okay. Sure. I suppose we could,” she agreed grudgingly.
“Great. I’ll see you about six?”
She nodded. “I’ll meet you at the front entrance. Right now I have to check on a patient, and then I’m headed home to sleep.”
Aran nodded and then opened the door, disappearing down the hall toward Physiotherapy. Ruby breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed her temples, trying to will the stress headache that was building up to dissipate.
She didn’t like to date.
She didn’t want to settle down with anyone.
In her job, her life was on the line. She was put in perilous situations. That was no way to raise a family.
Aran was making her question her plans in a way she didn’t like. She had been attracted to him once but she’d hoped over their years apart those feelings would change.
They hadn’t.
And going out to dinner with him would probably be a big mistake.
She was not looking forward to it.
Not even a little?
There was a part of her, deep down, that was. Her job was the most important thing but, whether she liked to admit it or not, she was lonely. It was just a dinner out. What harm could that do?
* * *
Ruby looked at her watch. It was a quarter past six and still there was no sign of Aran. It was frustrating. She liked to be punctual. She liked things done a certain way. Aran was late.
So that hadn’t changed. Aran had always used to run late for rounds.
She glanced at her watch again.
“A watched pot never boils.” That was what her grandmother always said. Her grandmother al
so always said that Ruby was in a rush to do everything all at once and do it right away. Maybe she was right, but Ruby had learned that you didn’t get very far in life just by sitting around or running late.
It was a bad habit of hers to watch the clock, but watching the clock was important when it came to surgery and saving lives.
A minute could mean life or death. It had been a matter of minutes that had cost her father his life. The delay of the Air Ambulance by that one minute had meant her father didn’t have a chance, so Ruby was slightly obsessed with timing.
It didn’t do her any good when she was waiting for other people, though. Like now, waiting on Aran to arrive...
“Sorry I’m late,” Aran said from behind her, causing her to jump because she hadn’t been expecting him to sneak up behind her. He cocked an eyebrow. “You’re a bit jumpy?”
“I didn’t see you coming.” She took a deep breath and tried to calm her racing heart. “Where did you come from, anyways?”
“My cab was late. I had to go back to my hotel room and change.”
“Your hotel room? Aren’t you staying with your mother?”
“No,” Aran said quickly. “I’ve learned that my mother and me should not live together. I haven’t lived with her since I was about eight.”
“You had your own place at eight years old?” Ruby teased.
“No.” He chuckled. “My parents divorced and I lived with my father. My mother would come down to see me, and when I came up to Anchorage to see her my dad would usually stay in town so that I could stay with him.”
“Wow!”
Ruby knew Jessica was divorced, but she’d assumed Aran had stayed with her. And then she remembered Aran had told her he was from San Diego when he was doing his residency, and said how much he loved Southern California.
They’d been friendly with each other, but she was realizing now she really didn’t know much about him—and that worried her.
Why had she ever agreed to this sham of a marriage? She shouldn’t have, but Aran had been so persuasive. So insistent.
“You okay?” Aran asked.