Lovette was shocked, sad and happy all at the same time. Iris had made it clear that she never wanted children and always had a strong focus on her career. On the other hand, that meant that Lovette would never be an aunt. Joseph was an only child, so she wouldn’t even have and nieces or nephews on his side of the family.
“Lovette, please say something. I’m freaking out here!” yelled Iris. An elderly couple had just walked near the car and heard the shouting. The old man grabbed his wife’s hand and the both of them attempted to run towards their car as fast as they could.
“Okay, calm down. You done scared granny and paw paw over there. Listen, everything is going to be fine. You don’t even know if you’re pregnant yet. It could still be stress, Iris. Let’s just go get some tests and go from there,” rubbing her sister’s shoulder and giving her a hug, the gestures seem to calm Iris down a bit.
“Now, you know the shopaholic in me has to ask if you still want to go inside this mall. We don’t have to but I sure do need a new pair of black pumps,” said Lovette. Taking a few deep breaths and opening her door, Iris got out of the car.
“I know one damn thing: as soon as we leave this mall, you’re taking me to buy one of each pregnancy test in the pharmacy. Oh, and don’t say a word to Joseph or the kids. I don’t want anyone knowing any of this. Okay?” said Iris.
Bringing her hands to her mouth, Lovette pretended to zip her lips and throw away the key. She’d respect her sister’s wishes and not mention it to anyone.
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“You want to know what’s so funny?” asked Lovette. They had done enough shopping for the next two months. The plan was to just buy a pair of shoes but as usual, she bought way more than that. She picked up a new shirt and tie for Joseph to let him know that she had thought about him as well.
“Are you really going to stand on the other side of the door and talk to me the entire time I take these tests?” asked Iris ignoring Lovette’s question. They had stopped at the pharmacy on the way home and just like Iris had demanded, Lovette had bought her 12 pregnancy tests just to make her feel better.
“I sure am. Anyway, like I was saying. It’s not ‘ha-ha’ funny but it’s just that now, I’m on the opposite side of the door this time,” chuckled Lovette. For a moment, she forgot that it was a possibility that her sister was pregnant by a married man. For this, she apologized.
“I’m sorry, Rissy. I know this isn’t the position you wanted to be in but whatever you decide to do or whatever happens, you know I have your back.”
Iris loved Chris but she didn’t love him enough to have his child. Children were never supposed to be a part of her plan. She had been on the pill but they weren’t consistent with using condoms. She instantly slapped herself on the forehead for being so careless. Now, here she was sitting on her old home’s toilet with a dozen pregnancy test waiting to see what they would say.
“Don’t get quiet on me now. I didn’t mean to make a joke during a moment like this,” said Lovette softly.
“Would you shut up already?! I’m not mad at some corny joke. I’m over here trying to read the boxes while not passing out from confusion. I’m a damn doctor and apparently can’t even do a pregnancy test correctly,” replied Iris. Barging in the bathroom, Lovette had plopped down on the side of the tub.
“Give it here. I’ll help you.” The more she thought about the possibility of her sister being pregnant, the less she cared about being an aunt. Her prior feelings had been a bit selfish and she knew that this wasn’t what Iris had wanted. Taking the time to do the first 4 tests, the both of them sat in silence in the bathroom. Iris remained on the toilet and didn’t bother to move until she knew the results.
The anxiety levels began to rise inside of Iris. What was she going to do with a baby? Abortion was an option but did she have it in her to go through with it? Would that be karma on her behalf for making such a decision?
If she was pregnant and had the baby, what would she tell Chris? She would have to eventually explain being pregnant to him since they see one another daily. Or, she could switch jobs and never say anything to him at all. After all, he had a whole life that included children already.
Iris instantly felt bad for thinking she could possibly keep someone’s child away from them. But, what about his wife? They would have to tell her. All of the possibilities made it clear that if she was indeed pregnant, she wasn’t going to have this baby. The decision was final.
“Iris! Look!” shouted Lovette. The four tests that she had just taken had all come back negative. Iris instantly felt a huge amount of relief. As if her body knew she was still curious about not having a cycle in so long, she looked between her legs and drops of blood had been falling into the toilet bowl’s water. Seeing her own blood had never made her happier.
“Can you both hurry up?! I hear you in there talking! I have to pee!” shouted Mary. Hearing her voice brought them both back to reality and they both jumped up scurrying around the bathroom to hide the mess they had made. The last thing they needed was for Mary to go telling her father about anything she had found.
“Girl, its other bathrooms in this house! Now, get away from the door!” shouted Iris in between laughs. She adored Mary but the child had a mouth on her.
“It would’ve been nice to use my own bathroom!” Mary shouted back while storming off to one of the other bathrooms.
Chapter 16: “No crying.”
June 2, 2001
Lovette had invited everyone who wanted to come to Joey’s cookout. The sun was blaring its heat and shined perfectly on their property. Today had been a good day from morning up to the exact moment of the cookout.
The family had gotten to see her first child and only son walk across the stage and accept his diploma. He had improved drastically with time and proved that he was ready to go off to college. Lovette still worried from time to time but she knew that if he continued to take his medicine, he would be okay.
People were spread out throughout the yard and within the house. The small kids were splashing around the little pools Joseph had bought for them and couldn’t have been having more fun. The cheap things would break before the evening but it was worth it seeing the kids having a ball.
“Come here, son. I’ve hardly had a chance to see you since the party started. I know you’re trying to hang out with your friends as much as you can before you leave for school but can a mom get a moment of the celebrity’s time?” said Lovette while pulling Joey in for a hug.
“Of course, mom.” For the past few months, Joey had done a tremendous job on working on his appearance. He made sure he had kept his hair clean and cut, his clothes were always neat now and he smelled as if he had a hot date every night. Every time Joseph or Lovette would question him about the change, he would deny it had anything to do with a female love interest.
“I’m so proud of you. You’ve always been a smart kid but I’m really proud of the progress you’ve made. Your dad I are lucky to have you as our son and we love you beyond the moon and all of the stars out there,” said Lovette.
She had managed to keep her tears tucked away during the graduation ceremony but reality had finally set in that her baby was growing up and moving on with his life. Tears formed in her eyes and she tried to hold them back as she continued talking.
“You know that we will always be here for you, right? You can always call us anytime of the day or night if you need us. I know you haven’t left for school yet but I just want to make sure you know all of this. We have your back,” continued Lovette.
Joey had grown to be even taller and looking so far up to him made her even more emotional. The baby that was once small enough to sleep on her chest was now a man.
“Mom, don’t cry. I promise I’ll be right back here during some weekends and the holidays. It won’t even feel like I’m gone,” replied Joey. He had been excited about college but nervous as well. This would be a big
change for him. He would be going to school in North Carolina. Another decision that made Lovette feel bittersweet.
She was overly happy for her son but the thought of her and Mike always came to mind when North Carolina was mentioned. She never got the chance to attend college but was still happy her son would.
Pushing Mike out of her thoughts, she brought her mental state back to the present. Mary had been sitting on the porch with one of her classmates playing with her Gameboy. Lovette was glad that the summer-time was here. She could focus on doing more things with Mary and accepting what had happened to Joyce.
Joyce. It had been a long time since she had allowed herself to grieve over Joyce. She always tried to be strong for everyone and never really took the time to feel what she had been suppressing.
She had missed Joyce’s laugh, affection and silly ways. Although Mary had been her reflection, they were two totally different people. Somehow, seeing Mary daily wasn’t a reminder of Joyce. They were their own individual people.
“Mom, did you hear me? I’m gonna go back to hanging out with my friends. That’s if you don’t mind. They kind of came to the party for me. Hate to leave them hanging,” said Joey.
“Oh, yea. Sure. Go have fun. We’ll talk later,” replied Lovette. Now that she had thought about Joyce, she wanted to be alone for a while. This was Joey’s day, so trying to shake her current feeling would be a task but she would do it for her son.
Joseph had been sitting on the bench by the lake, talking to Will. Lovette hadn’t seen much of his friend lately and didn’t really care to. She was friends with his wife, Caron, and he had finally moved in with Brenda making things official.
For months, Caron would come over and cry over the loss. One day, it were as if a light a light bulb had been turned on. She had quit pining over him and went out to find her a man. Although both of them had moved on, Lovette still disliked Will for what he did to her friend. Sneaking up behind him and pinching his shoulder, he jumped from the sudden touch.
“You don’t mind if I borrow my husband for a few, do you?” asked Lovette. Will was beyond drunk and look as if he was going to fall asleep standing up at any moment. It had been a party for her son but Will definitely made sure he was drunk enough at every event.
“No, no, no, no…of course. Take your wife. I mean your husband,” Will slurred and hiccupped. Stumbling off towards the house, Lovette watched him walk away in disgust.
“When is he going to get some help? The man is a walking distillery and smells like one, too. You ever worry about him drinking on the job and stuff?” questioned Lovette. She didn’t care if he really got help or not but she didn’t like him stumbling around the kids.
“I’ll talk to him about it. He claimed that he would only drink so much because he wanted to be with Brenda but now that he’s with her, nothing has changed,” replied Joseph. He was clearly exhausted.
“You look tired. You’ve been working so much. Maybe we should go on a family vacation. It’s been awhile and you deserve it,” said Lovette.
Rubbing his back, she felt a sudden need to look over her shoulder. It felt as if someone had been staring at her. Scanning the yard and looking at the small kids playing, Joseph’s father cooking on the grill and all of the adults conversing with one another, she saw nothing out of the ordinary.
“You’re right; it has been awhile. We’ll look at some spots we can go to later on tonight if you’re up for it,” said Joseph. It wasn’t just work that had him tired; it was home, too. Mary hadn’t been making any progress with her therapist and it worried him.
Another worry he had was that he had used the upstairs bathroom and found a pregnancy test under the cabinet. He knew that it couldn’t possibly belong to Mary and felt that it had either belonged to his wife or his son had brought a girl in the house scared she might be pregnant.
Joey was acting different with his hygiene. They appreciated how much better it was but it was still suspicious. Taking a deep breath and bringing up one of his concerns, he chose to talk about the test he found.
“There is something that has been on my mind that I think we should talk about,” said Joseph. He paused for a second to think about how he wanted to ask her. The last thing he wanted to do was sound insensitive or hurt her feelings but he didn’t want to bring another child into this world. Especially after what happened to Joyce.
“What is it? You know you can talk to me about anything,” said Lovette. She started to worry for a second because Joseph didn’t have too many serious moments with her. It couldn’t have been too bad or else he would’ve waited until after the party to say something to her about it.
“Umm, well. I found a pregnancy test under the bathroom sink,” he confessed. He loved her and wanted to give her everything she ever wanted but another child hadn’t been one of those things. Letting out a huge cackle, Lovette slapped her leg and continued to laugh.
“You thought that was MINE?! Oh, sheesh! Is that what you were over here worrying about?! That was for…” she asked while continuing to laugh. For a moment, she almost forgot the promise she made to Iris and had to catch herself. Now that she told him it didn’t belong to her, she had to come up with something quick as to why it had been there in the first place.
“For…?” asked Joseph. The most important part was that it didn’t belong to his wife. The thought of a crying baby coming into their lives now had him more scared than anything.
“Caron had told me about a girl who needed one down at the youth center. I was already at the pharmacy earlier and told her I would pick one up. You know she helps teenagers out and the girl was scared to talk to her parents about it. Since she just turned eighteen, by law, Caron isn’t required to report it to anyone,” said Lovette.
The way Lovette had spit the lie out so quick, she had almost believed it to be true herself. She didn’t like lying to him but she had made a promise to her sister. Believing her, he shook his head and laughed.
“For a moment, my second thought was that Joey had a situation on his hands and was trying to handle it himself. I don’t want any more children but I’m definitely not ready to be a grandfather,” said Joseph while laughing some more.
He had been the only one laughing. Catching the insensitivity he displayed, he instantly felt bad. The look on her face had clearly been one of disappointment.
“Oh, no. Lovette, I swear I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just you know…the things we’ve been through and stuff…” stammered Joseph.
The thought of his disappointment had she been pregnant had hurt her feelings. She didn’t want another child either but the test could’ve very well been hers. Deciding that this was one of the battles that she wouldn’t pick at, she knew that her husband’s intentions were pure.
“I know. It just caught me off guard. We’re good. I promise.” Holding out her pinky and waiting for his, they linked fingers. Kissing him to seal the deal, he felt better knowing that she wasn’t mad at his remark
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The party had been a success and all of the guests had cleared out for the night. Lovette, Iris, Joseph and Mary were now in the living room having family game night. It had been a while since they had all had a game night together. The funeral had been the last time Iris had come back home.
Joey had been sitting in the recliner and was holding the spinner for the game Twister. It was Mary’s favorite game and she had been even more excited to play it now that her aunt was in town. Flicking the arrow, he told everyone the next color and position for them to play.
“Put your left hand on blue.” Following his directions, everyone wiggled around one another to attempt the command. As soon as Lovette slid her hand under Joseph’s back, she tickled him and he fell to the floor.
“Hey! Cheaters never win, ya know?!” he said while picking himself up from the floor. Lovette had known her husband didn’t really like playing this game and that Jo
seph didn’t want to tell Mary no, so she decided to help him get out of the game early. Winking at his wife for the easy way out of the game, he made his way out of the family room towards the kitchen.
Joey had always chosen the role in games that required the least amount of participation from him. He had liked the family moments but actually playing the games hadn’t been much of his thing. Flicking the spinner once more, he read out the next game play. “Right foot on red.”
Mary’s left foot was on green and her left hand was on blue. Sliding her right foot on to the color red, she fell into a split. Kicking the floor and pouting, Mary never failed to show how much she couldn’t handle losing.
“Awww, don’t be such a sore loser! It’s just me and you now, Vetty Betty,” said Iris. Sucking her teeth and sliding off of the game mat, Mary got up and plopped down on the couch across from Joseph. Lovette was a competitive woman and she had refused to let Iris win.
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“On your mark…get set…GO!” yelled Joseph. Taking off towards the end of the street, Iris made sure she let her nephew feel as if he were running faster than her. He had just turned three years old and felt as if he were invincible. If anyone had been the fastest runner ever, Joey knew it had to have been him.
Letting him get a few paces ahead, Iris was proud to be his aunt. She had been struggling with her parent’s death and Joey had made it easier on her. There were times she felt as if Lovette and Joseph were better off without her around and then Joey would remind her of how much she was needed. Everyone always made her feel loved but somehow, she still felt as if it weren’t enough.
Until Joey added his input. He had been so articulate and smart for a child is age. Most parents had thought that their children were different and special against other children but it was truly something different about Joey.
One time, he caught Iris crying in her room over the death of her parents. He sat down on the bed beside her and wrapped his arms around her neck. Iris knew that something was indeed special about her nephew.
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