“I wanted you to have this. You would’ve loved him- Love.”
Mike instantly knew was in the box. He wasn’t sure if he had wanted to open it. Things were starting to get better between him and Monica and he didn’t know how she would react to seeing it.
“Open the box,” said Monica. “It’s okay. I promise.” She smiled at him and laid her head on his shoulder.
Pulling out the white box and opening it, there was a glass box with a tiny blue egg in it with golden angels printed on it. Matthias.
“I’ll give you a moment,” said Monica. Kissing him on the cheek, she went into their bedroom.
Trying his best to maintain his composure, Mike picked up the box and turned it. He examined it from every angle. This had been the first time he had gotten to hold his son. Placing the glass box on top of the fireplace along with the certificate of cremation, he went into the kitchen and called Lovette.
“Hello.” The little voice had belonged to Joey.
“Hey. Is your mom home?” asked Mike. Joey didn’t say anything and within the next minute, Lovette was on the line.
“Hello.”
“Hey. It’s Mike. I was just calling to say thanks for that. Are you sure you don’t want to keep him? Because, I don’t mind…” he replied
“No, you keep him. I was able to hold him. He belongs with his father,” whispered Lovette.
Her words touched him. Mike wished he could be there to hold her. He stopped himself from thinking any further about it before he said something that he probably shouldn’t.
“Thank you. And, I’m sorry for leaving like that. After getting into the fight with Joseph and hearing everything…I just…”
“It’s okay. Speaking of that, he cleared everything. The only thing I wasn’t able to get was video footage. The hospital admitted that they discard them after a certain amount of days. He gave me the death certificate, all if the hospital information, cause of death…everything. Sudden Infant Death Syndrome,” said Lovette.
Mike knew Lovette had been trying her best to explain things to him. He could hear the pain in her voice and wanted nothing more than to ease the hurt.
“Tell me something about him. Anything,” said Mike.
“Well, he had the cutest red hair, freckles and smooth skin. He was the quietest out of all of them,” said Lovette. The lump in her throat almost stopped her from finishing what she wanted to say. “He was…handsome.”
“I believe it. How are you feeling?” replied Mike.
“I’m a little better. I try not to think about it so much, ya know?” said Lovette.
“I know exactly what you mean. I’ve always loved how strong you are,” said Mike. It slipped out so fast and it caused him to peep around the corner to see if Monica had possibly heard what he said. When she hadn’t been in the hallway, he released a sigh of relief and went back in the kitchen.
Lovette smiled as if he could see her. She didn’t know what to say in return and didn’t want to overstep at the same time.
“Hey, look. I just wanted to call to say thank you and check on you. I have to do a few things, so…can I call you some other time?” asked Mike.
“…yea. Of course. Talk to you later,” said Lovette. Without waiting for a response, she hung up the phone.
Mike was the strong one. Lovette had been pretending to keep everything together and didn’t want to alarm anyone with how she had been feeling.
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Lovette had followed Joseph around for months trying to get to the bottom of how she had been feeling. He acted weird and guilty around her and simply asking him wouldn’t be enough. She needed evidence.
And, today had been the day that she would get her evidence.
“Hey, um…is Joe home?”
“And, who’s calling?” asked Lovette. She was breastfeeding Joyce and trying to balance the phone on her shoulder.
“I can call back some other time…” she said.
“You called my house and asked to speak to my husband and…you know what. He’s here. I’ll put him on the phone,” said Lovette. Yelling upstairs for him, he eventually picked up the other line.
“Hello?” said Joseph. His voice was groggy from his nap being interrupted.
“Hey, it’s Janet. You busy?” said the female voice.
“Who is Janet?” asked Lovette. She was still on the line waiting for her husband to answer her question. Lovette heard the phone slam down and his feet running downstairs. He pushed open the downstairs bedroom door and had guilt written all over his face.
“Hello? Hello? Hello?” repeated Janet.
“Lovette. Hang up the phone. We have to talk,” said Joseph.
“You can tell me what you want, Janet. I’m staring at my guilty ass husband. So, just say what you’re calling for and I can deliver the message,” said Lovette. Janet hung up the phone before she could say anything else.
“Your little girlfriend hung up,” said Lovette. “How long have y’all been screwing around?”
Joseph knew that if he told the truth, Lovette would leave him. He knew she was already suspicious of Matthias disappearing and this would only deepen it.
“Look, it was only one time,” lied Joseph. “After everything went down between you and Mike, I did this just one time. I haven’t seen her since and I honestly don’t even know how she got the house number. I’m sorry.”
“That was too easy. You expect for me to believe you two only slept around once and you confess just that easy?” said Lovette.
“Because it was wrong. I should’ve been told you,” said Joseph. A lie about cheating would do him better than the actual truth. Lovette had really cheated herself and if she even thought about leaving because he had done the same in return…
Lovette thought she would be hurt but she hadn’t been. She did cheat first and well, there wasn’t anything she could say about it. Keeping her family together had been important to her. She promised her mother that she would work hard to keep it together and failing to do so would mean Lovette failed her deceased mother.
“I think you cheated because you wanted to. Not because you wanted to get even. I think that you would’ve eventually done it but used me as an excuse to fulfill something you’ve always been wanting to do. Do you want to keep this family together?” said Lovette.
Joseph had been shocked by her response. He had been faithful to Lovette their entire marriage. Him having to lie about having an affair, made him want to come clean about it. He loved her more than he loved anyone, including himself, and because she had felt like he had wanted to cheat all along…he didn’t know what to feel.
Lovette knew her husband hadn’t cheated on her. Whatever lie he had been trying to cover up, he did it well. He was throwing infidelity around as if it were something to play with; she knew that she wasn’t dealing with the average person.
“Of course, I do! You know that. I would never want to be without you. Everything that has happened, it happened and won’t happen again. I know you regretted Mike and I for sure regretted her. Janet was more than likely calling for more hush money” said Joseph. He would later make her admit to this lie.
“Ha! And, you paid her off?” she laughed. Joyce was sound asleep. “I’m going to put her down and check on the kids.” Lovette left the bedroom and returned empty handed.
“Surprisingly, they are all sleep at once,” she said. “Since you clearly want other things and maybe I do, maybe we can do things with other people from time to time. Doesn’t seem too bad. We still love one another and want to raise a family together.”
Joseph’s eyes became huge due to being shocked with his wife’s suggestion. He knew exactly what she meant and still, he couldn’t allow her to know the truth.
“Lovette, have you lost your mind? I know we’ve both made mistakes and we are trying to move past it but that is insane. I’m supposed to walk around daily knowing that my wife is sc
rewing other people?!”
“Oh, no. Not just me. You, too. Of course, it won’t be a daily thing. We can work out a schedule and only pick one person. Either that or you confess about this whole cheating thing being a lie and tell me exactly what’s going on,” said Lovette. She calmly called his bluff and was slightly serious at the same time.
Joseph knew exactly what she had been doing but he couldn’t allow his wife to find out the truth. The thought of slitting her throat had crossed his mind all of two seconds but he knew there would be no turning back from that. He loved her too much and his children needed their mother.
“I told you the truth,” said Joseph. “I told you that we aren’t ever divorcing and I meant that. Is this about Mike?” Joseph knew it was. He could easily make Mike disappear but at the same time, he didn’t want to raise any more suspicion within his wife.
Lovette hadn’t realized before but today, she had reached a new level in her marriage. Her husband was willing to do whatever she wanted to keep their relationship intact. He would do whatever she wanted before he really told the truth about what he had been hiding.
For this, she would use everything to her advantage. She could have whatever and still keep her family together. Joseph would never really understand what type of monster he had just unleashed.
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“She’s talking about sleeping with other people. Tell me what to do. After Matthias…well, she’s been different,” said Mike.
“Well. What do you expect? You’ve taken her child out of the household and have been pretending that he is deceased. She knows something isn’t right but she cannot prove it. You drove her to this point,” said Dr. Oar.
Instantly regretting what he said, Dr. Oar began to apologize for his words. Joseph held up his hand to stop him.
“Listen to me. You’re a part of this now. If I ever feel like you’re going to open your mouth to my wife or anyone else, I’ll make you disappear as well,” said Joseph.
Dr. Oar knew he was serious. He knew what Joseph was capable of and he knew his family’s history only added to the threat. He nodded his head and went back to suggesting his solution.
“I suggest you let her. You say you love her more than anything. Well, let her do what she needs to do in order to feel comfortable with you again. You’ve managed to keep these secrets from her this far. She knows you’re hiding something and apparently, she doesn’t think you’re capable of cheating.”
The look on Joseph’s face couldn’t have been any closer to disgust. Lovette was his wife and the thought of anyone else touching her made him cringe. But, her finding out the truth about him made him cringe even more. Cheating may be forgivable but his hidden lifestyle wasn’t.
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October 27, 1994
After the guests had left the party, Joseph sat across from Lovette with the biggest smile on her face. He didn’t know if she was provoking him or what, but the game she had been playing, he would eventually have his victory.
“How did you like it?” asked Lovette.
“It’s different, ya know? Nothing like what we have, of course. But now, I’m glad you suggested it,” said Joseph. He had actually been telling the truth. He was against it at first but throughout everything he had put her through, she was still his wife. She had still been his. But, he wanted to remind her that this was all her idea.
“Good. Was this red one different from the last one?” asked Lovette. While they had been in the same room but engaging in different people, Lovette would occasionally glance over at her husband to see how much he had been consumed with the atmosphere.
What started off as her calling his bluff, had turned into something Joseph actually enjoyed. The fact of the matter was that she enjoyed it, too. But, her initial mission hadn’t been introduced at all.
“She was okay,” said Joseph in a nervous voice. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing to have her second guessing herself. The ultimate truth was that Lovette was still and would always be his number one. Any moment she had wanted to stop all of this would’ve been fine with him.
Ignoring his response, Lovette could only think about Mike. She had wanted him there but knew it would take some time to ease him into their life. Joseph had needed to get comfortable about their new “lifestyle” before she mentioned his name.
Chapter 29: Coping mechanism
April 19, 2002
Mary was her mother’s personality twin. This is why Lovette had a hard time dealing with the things her child had been experiencing. Mary would easily get upset about things she had been passionate about. These same things would trigger her anger if no one believed what she felt had been the truth.
Sliding into her daughter’s bed and wrapping her arms around her, Lovette knew Mary needed this. She needed her mother’s love and trust.
“Talk to me, baby,” asked Lovette.
Mary had been upset and lingered in her room for the last couple of days. She had refused to come downstairs, refused to talk to her parents and refused to eat anything.
“For what? Just so you can believe him and send me away?” sneered Mary.
She hadn’t attended school the whole week. Joseph convinced Lovette that it was best she took some days off from school and they consider other options about where she had belonged.
“I’m so sorry that you’re hurting. I really am. I want the best for you but sometimes, parents mess up. So, let’s start over. I want you tell me everything and what you feel is best for you. I just want to help,” said Lovette.
Was she serious? Mary didn’t know if her mother was faking it to see what she would say next. But, then again, she had always trusted her mother more than her father. Mary knew he was sneaky and something was different about him. She knew that he never loved her the way he had loved Joey.
“Who is Matthias?” asked Mary.
Lovette’s sat up with the quickness. She had never told the girls about the brother they never got to grow up with. Joey had suppressed the death of his brother and acted as if he never existed and because of this, Lovette had done the same.
This had been the beginning of her coping mechanism. She failed to tell the girls about their brother and she had done the same when it came to her parents. If she never mentioned it, it felt as if it never happened. Lovette couldn’t deal with the pain of talking about it to her children.
“What?!” questioned Lovette.
“The night me and Eric went to the shed…dad said something about after Matthias was gone and Joyce being dead, he knew it would be only a matter of time before something happened to me,” said Mary.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. Papa said his name. He was evil, mom. I wish you had been there. He was…different. He made this woman come out of the cage and she acted weird. She acted like she it was okay for her to be there,” whispered Mary.
Lovette felt as if she wanted to throw up. It had been years since she had heard her deceased son’s name out loud. She had refused to say it and felt as if doing this would make the pain disappear.
Mary learning about Matthias had triggered Lovette. There was absolutely no evidence of him inside the house. The little that had belonged to him was locked away at Caron’s house in her garage.
The fact that her husband had the nerve to bring up his name had set fire under her. They had agreed that it was best to not bring him up. The wounds never healed and this is what Lovette had been best at. Suppression.
“If you and Eric went to this shed, tell me what it looked like on the inside. Tell me as much as possible,” said Lovette.
Mary felt proud. She felt as if someone had finally decided to start believing in her. This someone had been her mother. There had been no better person to believe her.
“There was a raggedy shed. It was really old. Then, it was a door in the middle of t
he floor with a bunch of steps going down. When we finally got to the bottom, it was another floor door. When we opened it, it was some more steps that actually had light this time.”
“When we got to the last steps, it had a door. When we opened the door, it looked like a small family room,” said Mary.
Lovette hugged her child tighter and listened to her story. Whether it had been the truth or her imagination, she had needed to hear it. Mary had brought up her brother’s name and now, Lovette needed answers.
“There was rocking chair moving by the door. Eric felt like someone had been there and told me that we should go. We both noticed it but I just had to know. I had to see what was going on inside.”
“There was another door. When we opened it, it was another room full of cages. We hadn’t been in there that long before papa caught us. He was…insane. He hurt Eric and even said he would kill him if I told you!” said Mary.
Her daughter had been in tears. The energy she had felt between the two of them had been unmatched. Mary had always had a wild imagination but for her to make up this place…something was off. There had to be some truth to what she was saying. But, she needed evidence.
“Did Eric say anything to you about wanting to run away?” asked Lovette.
“No. He missed his dad but he told me he loved it here. He was glad me and him were friends. He wanted to be here. Eric didn’t run away, mama. Papa did this,” cried Mary.
“You said there was a boy your age in there. Did he say anything?”
“No, but he must’ve been in the first room that looked normal. He must’ve gotten out of one of the cages and tried to get out of the shed. Papa drug him back inside,” said Mary. “He had the same hair color as you and freckles.”
Lovette hadn’t realized but she had been holding her breath. A coping mechanism. There was no way it could be him. Could it?
“How about we go back to the field? Search a little more. See what we can find. How does that sound? Just us. Don’t tell your papa,” said Lovette.
Mary immediately felt better. She had finally gotten through to someone and would prove who her father really was. She hadn’t figured out exactly how he managed to move or hide the shed but at least her mother was willing to go back and help her look for it.
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